by Toni Aleo
The girl she was before Jordie broke her would have pestered him for the info. But now, it scared her. She knew that she would crumble for him and allow him to wiggle his way back into her life. He would say everything she wanted to hear, get in her good graces, and when she finally thought they were good, marriage and happiness in sight, he’d remind her he only wanted a fuck buddy. That was Jordie. Great man, but allergic to the full spectrum of a human relationship with the opposite sex.
It was honestly so unfair, but that was him. He almost made her feel weak, and she knew that wasn’t something she could allow to describe her. She was a strong-willed girl, but Jordie was her kryptonite. But maybe if she went in eyes wide open, she’d be fine. She would be able to keep her heart on lock. She had done so well working with him. Mainly, she ignored him and flirted with Liam to reiterate that she was happy without him. Which was all a lie, but he didn’t know that. No one did; they all thought she was pleased as a peach, when really, she was a rotten, hole-filled apple, worms eating away at her soul because she didn’t have Jordie.
Why did she want him so badly? What was this hold he had on her? And most of all, what would it take to get rid of her feelings for him? Was it because she hadn’t really been with anyone but him? He had been only her third lover, and honestly, he blew the other two guys out of the water. When they were together, sparks just flew in the bedroom. They fit perfectly and that lingered in her heart. The feeling of his body against hers, the way he would look in her eyes… It was all-consuming and she missed it.
But his rejection still stung.
It stung so fucking badly.
She wasn’t sure she could get past that.
She didn’t know how to. Maybe she did need the closure that Lacey had spoken of. Maybe she did need to talk to him. But could she trust her heart to know his lies? She had no clue and that scared her more than seeing the blood in her panties only three days after finding out she was pregnant. And that not only scared her, it hurt, which was something Jordie continually inflicted on her. She’d be stupid to fall into his bed of lies, but her heart was slow to realize that.
One thing was for sure, he needed to stay clothed and stop playing with her head. He didn’t want the things she wanted, so why say little things like that? He was obviously jealous of Liam. He wouldn’t even talk to the guy and never had a kind look on his face when Liam was in the room. And that made no sense. Why would he be jealous when he’d had her and had thrown her away? It was all a clusterfuck of fucking crazy, and she knew what she had to do.
She had to talk to him.
Really talk to him. Not the snide, angry comments and the roll of her eyes. She needed to give him the chance to speak to her the way he’d been asking to. Then she could let him go. Move out and live her life. Maybe then they could live as civilized people. Or they’d rip each other’s clothes off and she’d feel like shit afterward. Closing her eyes, she let her head fall forward as she shook it. She didn’t know what; she just needed something to change. She felt like she was constantly drowning in the tension and that had to end. It had to. First things first, she needed to get through this visit with her parents. Maybe something would spark with Liam while she watched him interact with her parents?
One could hope.
After blow-drying her hair, she headed toward the kitchen to help Lacey with food preparations. Her parents should be getting there soon and so should Liam. Kacey wanted to make sure everything was almost done so that Lacey could enjoy time with her in-laws and she could force some feelings for Liam.
So pathetic.
As she entered the kitchen, she saw Jordie go out the back door and her brow rose.
“Where is he going?” she asked before she could stop herself. He wasn’t her responsibility. It shouldn’t matter where he was going.
But it did.
Lacey looked over at her from where she was cutting up apples, a little smile pulling at her lips. “He’s going to church with the Adlers, and then they are gonna do lunch and stuff. Welcoming him home.”
“Church?” she asked, her face scrunched up. “Like the holy house? Real church?”
Lacey nodded. “Yeah, he’s been going for a while now.”
What? Jordie hated church. “Really?”
Lacey smiled. “Really.”
“That’s weird.”
“I think it’s nice.”
Kacey rolled her eyes; she hated how big a fan Lacey was of Jordie. Even after everything he did to Kacey. Yeah, Lacey didn’t know about a lot of it, but still. It was kind of shitty. She was Kacey’s sister-in-law, best friend, and shit. Shouldn’t she hate him like Kacey tried to?
Pissy, she slammed down in her chair. “But Ma and Dad are coming in.” She pouted because he always claimed her parents as his. Shouldn’t he want to be here to see them? When Lacey raised a brow, Kacey shrugged. “What? I’m just saying.”
“You’re pouting. And why? I thought he didn’t matter?”
“He doesn’t,” she muttered, rolling her eyes again and then looking to see what she could do. There were bags of food everywhere and a list of everything Lacey was making.
“Sure, he doesn’t, but your parents are coming last minute, and he’s had these plans with them for a while. Elli even invited all of us, but we already had company. He’s gonna skip dinner to eat with us.”
“Whatever,” she muttered as she started to make a salad. “He isn’t any concern of mine.”
“Of course not,” Lacey shot back, her knowing green eyes locking with Kacey’s. That was until her phone went off. Glaring at her phone, she picked it up and shook her head, a disgruntled look on her face.
“Everything okay?”
“No, Rachel is pissing me the hell off!” she snapped, speaking of her sister-in-law who lived back in Chicago and ran her store there. She frowned as she typed back violently.
“Just fire her!” Karson called from the other room. Kacey looked back and hadn’t even realized he was lying there with Mena Jane on his chest. She quickly worried that he’d heard her speaking of Jordie, but he would have said something if he had, so she smiled as his face filled with annoyance. “She’s a bitch.”
“I agree with him,” Kacey said, hooking her thumb toward him. Rachel had done nothing good for Lacey since she married Karson. The chick was hard-set on ruining Lacey’s marriage and even plotted with Lacey’s estranged dad. Lacey needed to add Rachel to the list of people she didn’t talk to anymore, because the chick was a huge bitch. Always so damn demanding and acting entitled to anything that Lacey had.
It was really annoying.
Lacey let out a long breath, letting her hands fall against the island. “She’s pissed ’cause I won’t bring Mena up to Chicago. But I just feel like that’s such a big trip for a little bit like her. Also, I know she is setting me up so that my dad can see Mena. I don’t want to see him, and I really don’t want him in Mena’s life. He doesn’t even love Karson, so how is he going to love Mena?”
Kacey nodded. “True, but I mean, he is a grandpa, and we know my dad would kill anyone who tried to keep his grandbabies away from him. But you are her mommy and you know best,” she added when Lacey glared.
“I haven’t talked to him in over a year.”
Knowing when something wasn’t her business, Kacey nodded. “Then forget I said anything.”
Her phone dinged again, causing Lacey to roll her eyes. “She’s such a bitch! She is calling me selfish now.”
“Why doesn’t she come here?”
“Because I won’t let my dad in the house. At least there, I’d go to her house and, oops, he’d just show up.”
“What did Grady say?” Kacey asked, speaking of Lacey’s older brother.
“He says he’s staying out of it, but he’d like to see Mena too. I said, y’all are more than welcome to come here, and he said he’d see what he could swing, but Rachel is fixed on me going there.”
Kacey didn’t know what to say, but even before she
could, Karson was saying, “Not only is she being a bitch to you, she’s being a bitch to everyone at work and just shitty all around. Fire her and then stop talking to her.”
“She’s my sister-in-law, Karson!”
“So? She’s insane.”
“I won’t get to see my nephews though,” she said sadly, and Kacey bit the inside of her cheek, thankful that she and Karson didn’t have these problems. They were solid.
“Sure, you will,” he said, sitting up, cuddling Mena. “Grady will make sure of it, and just be nice to her when you need to.”
“Yeah,” she said softly, picking the knife back up to continue cutting the apples as Karson closed the distance between them.
“I mean, it’s your decision. It’s your family, and no matter what, I love you. But please do something. I don’t want anything dulling your sunshine, especially since it just came back,” he said before kissing her temple.
She smiled over at him, kissing his lips and then Mena’s head. “I know, I’ll work it out.”
“Cool, I’m gonna go change this little lady and get her ready for Grandma,” he said, bouncing her in his arms.
“Make sure to put her in the little Assassins dress Audrey made her.”
“Will do. We need to get Mena Jane a little jersey. Yes, we do, with Daddy’s number on the back,” he cooed as he headed out of the kitchen, leaving Kacey to grin like a fool while Lacey giggled.
“He’s a sucker for that little girl.”
As Karson disappeared into Mena’s room, Kacey couldn’t help but think that Jordie would have been a sucker for their baby too.
Ugh, why was she thinking of him?
“Yeah,” she agreed, her mind still wandering toward Jordie and how life would have been so great if he hadn’t pushed her away. It was something she did often and she knew she needed to stop, but it was hard to break a habit.
What she needed was to get out of this house. The farther away from him, the better.
“I think I might start looking for a place,” she said then, surprising not only herself but Lacey.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, you’re good now. You don’t need me, not that I was much help since I really didn’t understand what you were going through.”
“You help me plenty, just being here,” she said fondly, and Kacey smiled.
“Well, thanks, but, er… Would you hire me?” she asked when she realized she needed more money to move out.
“What? Really? Of course, but why?”
“’Cause while my job is awesome and amazing, it doesn’t pay enough for me to live around here, and I want to be close to you guys. I saw some condos down the road, and maybe I could move there.”
Lacey worked her lip as she threw the apples in the bowl before covering them with sugar. “You don’t want to wait for your parents?”
Kacey shook her head. “They are taking too long. And also, I can’t live with them forever.”
“Yeah, true,” she agreed, mixing with a spoon before popping an apple in her mouth. “Why the sudden change of mind? We aren’t making you feel like you aren’t welcome, are we?”
“No, not at all. There really isn’t a reason,” she said breezily, hoping that Lacey wouldn’t catch on, but even she knew she was full of shit. “I just need a change.”
“Or to get away from Jordie.”
She shrugged. “That too.”
Kacey peeked a look at her sister-in-law to find her shaking her head. “Why don’t you just talk to him?”
“’Cause I don’t want to.”
“Then you’ll never get over him.”
“I am over—”
“Don’t you dare lie to me, Kacey Marie King,” she snapped and Kacey’s eyes went wide. “And stop running. You want answers, get them.”
She held her gaze for a moment and Kacey let out a long breath, wringing her fingers together. “I’m scared what those answers will accomplish.”
Lacey shrugged. “I never pegged you as a scared girl, Kacey, or someone who hides. Get your head out of your ass and do what you want.”
She bit her lip and shook her head. “What I want is unattainable. He doesn’t want what I want, but Liam—”
Slamming her hands on the counter, Lacey shook her head. “Oh my God! Let him go. Like today. Please.”
“Lacey!” she gasped, surprised by her outburst.
“What? I’m so tired of watching you try to make something work when it doesn’t. I don’t even see why you are bringing him over here. Your parents will not like him. Especially your dad.”
“You don’t know that!” Kacey argued, her heart picking up in speed. She wanted to believe what she said, but even she doubted that her parents would like Liam. Or that Liam would like them. Lord knows, her dad didn’t know how to control his mouth.
“I do, because you don’t even love him. So why would they? They loved me from the beginning because they knew how much Karson loved me. You know I’m right.”
“You’re wrong. You’ll see,” Kacey said as confidently as she could.
Lacey rolled her eyes just as the door opened and Karl King stepped inside.
Before Kacey or Lacey could welcome him, he hooked his thumb behind him and barked, “Who’s the fucking dweeb in the Prius?”
Oh, sweet Jesus, Kacey groaned inwardly as Regina King stepped in behind him.
“Karl! He can hear you, plus, I told you about the cussing. The baby is here. Where is my baby?” her mother asked, pushing past Karl just as Karson entered the kitchen with Mena Jane looking adorable in purple.
“I don’t fucking care. Who the hell is he?”
Lacey glanced over at Kacey and grinned as she said, “Oh, that’s Kacey’s boyfriend, Liam.”
Karl’s face twisted just as Kacey’s stomach did and all she could think was this was going to be a great day.
Not.
“Gorgeous!” Shelli and Posey exclaimed before they held up the mirror for Jordie. Looking at his reflection, his brow rose. They had braided his beard and put little flowers and barrettes in it too. Gorgeous really wasn’t the word he’d use, but the grins on their little faces wouldn’t allow him to use the word he was thinking.
“For sure,” he agreed, moving a piece of hair out of his eyes, taking in their handiwork.
“I think you look handsome, Uncle Jordie. I did the flowers,” Posey said proudly and Jordie leaned over, kissing her cheek.
“Great job. They really bring out my eyes.”
“I did the braid, Uncle Jordie. I’ve been working on it all summer.” Shelli pouted and he smiled before gathering them both up in his arms.
“You can tell. You’re the best braider in the world!”
That had both little girls giggling as they cuddled into his arms, hugging him tightly. In no time at all, the twins, Evan and Owen, were climbing along his neck while Quinn watched from where he was playing with the new train set Jordie had brought over for the boys. Before he knew, which really, he should have expected, it was four against one in a fight to the death wrestling match. For girls, Shelli and Posey fought like men, and it was a bit scary. The twins were little ninjas, but Quinn honestly couldn’t care less. He was too busy playing to worry about them. When Shelli twisted Jordie’s finger back, he hollered out dramatically and all the kids giggled, which made him smile.
“Guys, don’t hurt Jordie. I need him to play this fall,” Elli called and all the kids paused, looking over at their mother, who stood in the doorway, Shea behind her.
“Yes, ma’am,” they all called before crawling off him. That’s when Quinn came over and kicked him in the good knee. But still, Jordie fell off the couch very dramatically, acting as if he was dead.
“Don’t mess with us Adlers!” Quinn called then in his sweet little voice, and Jordie had to hold in his laughter as he hung his tongue out of his mouth.
“We won!” Shelli exclaimed and they all cheered.
But then he jumped up, taking all five of them in his arm
s and lifting them into the air over the couch in case one fell out. “You can’t kill me! I’m a zombie!”
Their screams were delightful as they squirmed against him, each of them falling out of his arms and hitting the couch with a thud. He went to jump on them when Elli stopped him.
“Please don’t kill my children, I need someone to care for me when I’m older,” Elli said and he nodded.
“You five are lucky,” he said and they all grinned up at him, giggling.
“Lunch is ready,” she said and Jordie shrugged.
“This giant is hungry,” he said, but he didn’t get far before all of them were wrapped around his legs and his middle. As he dragged five little Adlers to the kitchen, he couldn’t help but think of Kacey.
And the baby she lost.
They lost.
And how he really wanted another chance to not only have her as his, but to make another baby.
It was a dream that he felt in his soul. One he had to make a reality.
After lunch, they all gathered in the living room, the boys playing while the girls started on the hair on his head.
“You’re gonna wear it all day, right, Uncle Jordie?” Shelli asked.
“Promise.”
“Pinkie, I do?” she asked, holding out her hand, and he took it, cupping it before she took his pinkie and wrapped it around hers.
“Pinkie, I do,” he said, and she grinned before going back to work.
“You don’t have to,” Elli called from where she was cuddled against Shea, looking blissfully happy. Shea looked like a man who had hit the lottery over and over again, and Jordie couldn’t wait to feel that kind of bliss. To have his wife in the crook of his arm, their kids on the floor, and maybe a dog chasing his tail.
A life worth living for.
To stay sober for.
“I don’t mind,” he waved her off as he cringed from where one of the girls pulled his hair too hard.
“Better you than me,” Shea commented and Jordie grinned. “I want to cry every time they get ahold of me.”
