by Toni Aleo
His eyes were full of desire, his breath coming hot against her mouth, his poor, busted lip begging for her attention. “He didn’t mean anything to me.”
“That’s right,” he snarled before finally dropping his mouth to hers. Wrapping her legs tightly around his waist, she hung on as his mouth devoured hers. His tongue was hot against her lips and felt oh so good. As she opened her mouth to his, their tongues played like old friends, and she almost came at the feeling. She had been craving him for months, and finally, she had him. His beard tickled her chin, but she felt it deep within her gut too. That fluttering, first-time kind of feeling. He always did that. Every damn time. Squeezing her arms around his neck, she never wanted to leave this spot. Never wanted to leave his arms. They’d figure everything out later. Right now, she needed him.
Carrying her to the bed, he laid her down so slowly and with so much care, she was breathless. Jordie wasn’t careful, he wasn’t sweet all the time, but when he was, she felt it in her soul. Hovering over her, he trailed kisses along her neck, her jaw, and her bottom lip as he held her breast in his hand. When he squeezed her nipple with his thumb and forefinger, she hissed against his cheek, his mouth nibbling at her neck. Kissing up her jaw, he whispered against her mouth, “Please tell me the door is locked.”
She nodded, threading her fingers through his hair.
“Good,” he moaned against her lips before falling between her legs, pressing his hard cock against her hidden, dripping wet pussy. Even with his jeans and her shorts, she could feel every inch of him and the heat he put off, and she shook at the mere thought of him being inside her again. Sitting up, he pulled her shorts off as she threw off her tank. Then his mouth was on her breast, his hand between her legs, his finger sliding up her wet lips as he feasted on her breast.
Arching her back, she bit her lip to keep from screaming out like she wanted. Man, she needed her own place, or maybe they… Whoa, hold your horses, she thought. This could only be about sex, and if it was, she was going to kick him in the balls and swear off all men. But it couldn’t be. He was cherishing her body, tasting it. As his fingers trailed down the middle of her chest to her belly button, she whimpered, her pussy clenching with need. His eyes were so intense, so beautiful and, damn it, they were full of love.
She remembered that look. It only came out sometimes, but when it did, Kacey felt like the most gorgeous girl in the world. She never felt like that except when she was under his gaze.
“So beautiful,” he whispered, his finger tracing the outline of the abs she had worked her ass off to get. “So strong.”
She gasped as his tongue followed his fingers, the tickling sensation from his beard along her pubic area driving her utterly mad. Thrashing beneath him, she arched against his mouth as he nibbled on her belly button. He grinned against her skin. To her dismay though, he pulled away, his eyes drinking her in before he looked up and met her gaze.
“You are, by far, the most magnificent woman I’ve ever seen,” he said huskily, and she swore she felt the words he said.
It was one thing to hear them, but with Jordie, she felt them. Deep in her heart and soul. Man, she hoped this wasn’t just about sex. But before she could overthink it and start to consider stopping him, his mouth dropped to hers as his hands unbuttoned his jeans. He rolled them over, her legs falling on either side of his hips as her fingers threaded through his hair on his chest, her nails digging into his skin. He gasped against her mouth, biting at her bottom lip as she slid her wet center along his hard stomach. Squeezing her ass, he kept kissing her before wiggling out of his pants and freeing his cock. It smacked against her ass, and she grinned as his tongue moved along her bottom lip.
Rolling them over again, he pulled back her leg and entered her with one thrust, taking her breath from her. Her soul. Her heart. Everything. He took it. But then, he’d always had it.
His fingers bit into her thigh as her eyes rolled back in her head, his cock filling her to the hilt and eliminating the void that had been taunting her since she’d left all those months ago. She thought it would feel the same, him being in her, but it was completely different. They were different.
While he thrust into her, his mouth stayed on hers, and he pulled all the way out and then slammed back into her. Each time, she squeezed him, her breath whooshing out of her as he took what he wanted. Needed. His eyes were so dark, so intense, and only on her. Sliding his hand from her thigh to between her legs, he found her nub of nerves and pressed it hard, causing her to cry out against his mouth. Covering her mouth with his to mask her cries, he slowly moved his thumb along the sensitive bud. She felt herself about to come, felt it all over and with each thrust. And the flick of his thumb had her inching closer and closer to her release. Taking her mouth with his, he slid his tongue along hers and soon it was too much. She came and she couldn’t help herself as she uttered his name against his lips. He smiled against her mouth as her eyes squeezed shut, her chest seizing as she arched up, his name falling again and again from her lips.
“That’s right, sugar thighs,” he whispered, kissing down her jaw. “Come all over me. I love the way you feel.”
She couldn’t answer him, her breathing was labored, her heart felt as if it were going to come out of her chest, and it very well could. He went up on his knees and she opened her eyes as he pushed her knees farther apart, his thumbs digging into the backs of her thighs as he filled her to the hilt, his cock throbbing inside her. Looking down at her, he smiled, and she smiled back. Just that simple little smile hit her straight in the gut, and she knew this wasn’t just sex.
This was way more.
Pulling out of her, he drove into her again and again and again until he squeezed her so hard she was sure she was going to have bruises all over her, and he came with a guttural yell. He fell onto her, his heart slamming into her chest, shaking her own as his cock throbbed inside of her. He was heavy, so damn heavy, but she wrapped her arms around his middle, her legs around his, nuzzling her nose under his beard, taking in the addictive smell. When he gasped against her temple, she felt him smile as he rolled them to their sides, holding her tightly, his cock still inside her as they grabbed at each other. Soon their breathing returned to normal, but she couldn’t let him go.
Not yet.
His fingers came along her jaw before he tilted her face up, his eyes meeting hers. Running his thumbs along her cheeks, he whispered, “I love you, Kacey.”
Her heart melted, and she felt like she was flying through the fucking clouds. They’d had sex a lot, a whole lot, but never had he looked at her and said those words. The words she wanted so desperately. It almost seemed like a dream, but she could feel him against her. Her body absorbing his and not letting go.
“I love you.”
His face lit up and she swore she saw his eyes glaze over a little bit. But before she could really see if they did, he nuzzled his nose along hers, kissing her lips as his eyes fell shut. Closing her eyes, she held on to him and wouldn’t let go due to the fear of him disappearing. Surely, this was a dream. But it wasn’t. His heat was burning her, his heart still thumping against her chest, his breath in her hair, and his scent…it took over every one of her senses. They didn’t move for a very long time, and as she watched as the sun slowly lower, she knew she didn’t want to be anywhere else. And felt maybe she had made the right choice.
She prayed she did, at least.
“I would have ruined you,” he whispered against her temple and her breath caught at his affirmation. “If I would have tried in the state I was in, we wouldn’t have made it. I didn’t tell you how bad it was because I didn’t think I had a problem. I made excuse after excuse for everything I did, when, really, it was because I didn’t love myself. How could I love you when I didn’t even love myself?”
Moving her face out from underneath his, she looked up at him. “I tried to love you enough for both of us.”
“I know,” he said, his voice raspy and full of emotion. “And
that’s not fair. I knew I wasn’t the man for you. I knew I would hurt you, cheat on you, or do something equally stupid. I couldn’t risk it. Hell, I’m nervous now that something could happen, that I could relapse and let you down, but I gotta live, Kacey. I have to be who I want to be, and that person is yours.”
Her eyes slowly filled with tears, his face blurring out until she blinked them away. “I’d really like that, Jordie, and you won’t relapse because I’m gonna be there for you. I’m going to help.”
“I might need it,” he admitted shyly, and she reached up, brushing her thumb along his lip.
“I’m here. I was always here,” she reminded him and he nodded.
“I’m not letting go this time.”
“Neither am I. In it to win it,” she said, her lips curving into a small smile. Soon his face broke into one too, his fingers catching her tears. His eyes searched hers, and his arms wrapped around her and she swore they were about to become one as he squeezed her so tightly. Honestly, she was okay with that. She had yearned for him for so long and now having him was almost a fantasy.
“I’m sorry, so fucking sorry for everything, baby,” he whispered against her lips and she nodded slowly.
“I forgave you a long time ago,” she admitted, her nose moving along his, her lips grazing his. “I knew what I was getting into.”
“It shouldn’t have ever been like that. I should have loved you the way I wanted to.”
“But you do now,” she declared.
“And I won’t stop.”
He said it as a promise.
One she prayed he’d keep.
Because she couldn’t do the heartache again.
She just couldn’t.
Jordie hadn’t expected after the way Kacey ran out of the restaurant that he would be lying in her bed with her in his arms, but he was pretty sure he was grinning from ear to ear with no plans of ever wiping it off his face. Cuddling her closer, he kissed her nose as she looked deep into his eyes. She was so beautiful, so delicate but strong as an ox. He had done her so dirty but, yet, here she was, trusting him again. He didn’t deserve her, but he’d be damned if he’d let her go. This was it. She was his.
“We should probably get a shower,” he murmured against her lips. “I bet you’re hungry.”
On cue, her stomach growled and she giggled. “Yeah, I am. But just a few more minutes,” she said, nuzzling her nose against his beard.
She’d always had a thing for his beard and it pleased him to no end. She was the reason he didn’t shave it off, despite Regina’s request every time she saw him. He didn’t care one way or another; he liked it but didn’t need it. But Kacey, she loved it. There were plenty of times in the last year where he’d wanted to just chop it all off, but then she’d nuzzle her nose in it and ask him not to.
So he didn’t.
He now knew he’d always loved her, had since he first saw her. But he’d fought it so hard and, as he held her, he wondered why he’d been so clueless. This woman loved with everything inside her. Her eyes made him feel worshiped, her body made him feel good, and her love made him feel complete. He’d had this in his grasp and, instead of taking ahold of her, he’d pushed her away. He wanted to hate himself for it, but really, it was all meant to be. He had to be sober to actually appreciate her. To be what she needed. And now he was more than ready. He just hoped she was too.
Kissing her nose again, he asked, “So you’re giving me another chance?”
“Yeah. I think I am.”
“We are together, right?”
He saw her cheeks rise like she was smiling as she said, “Oh, I thought we were gonna keep it light. Like before.”
He heard the teasing in her voice and he smiled against her. “Nope, I want more.”
She looked up at him, her eyes bright and her grin unstoppable. “Good, ’cause that was the only thing I would accept.”
“Me too,” he said, rolling over and bringing her with him. Her legs came to the sides of his hips while her elbows came down on his chest, bracing her head as she looked down at him. When her brows came together, his matched hers as he asked, “What?”
“Something is running down my leg.”
He grinned. “Probably my love juices.”
“You didn’t use a condom?” she asked, shocked, but when the hell had he had time to put one on?
“No,” he admitted. “I didn’t even think about it.”
She gave him a panicked look. “You better be clean.”
He scoffed. “Very much so. I haven’t even had sex in eight months, so I’m sure if I had something, I’d know by now, what with all the testing in rehab.”
Her mouth fell open. “Really?”
He nodded, smiling shyly. “Sex meant nothing to me if it wasn’t you. So I replaced my need with porn and alcohol.”
She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “What every girl wants to hear.”
“Um, I thought it was very romantic. Even my therapist was surprised by it.”
Her eyes met his. “You talked about me in rehab?”
He nodded. “All the time. You’re a piece of me.”
“See, that’s romantic,” she commented, her lips curving as her fingers twirled in his chest hair. She didn’t say anything for a while, and he watched as she moved her fingers along his body. “Is it hard?” she asked then, her eyes meeting his. “Are you suffering at all?
He shook his head. “No, I feel great, especially now.” His hand cupped her ass and her laughter was music to his ears. “But yeah, some days it’s hard. And others, I’m good. I’ve been playing the guitar again and that helps a lot.”
“You play way better than I ever imagined. When you spoke of it before, I didn’t think you were that good.”
Pride filled his chest as he shrugged, trying to play off how good she’d just made him feel. He took great pride in his playing; it honestly calmed him, and to know she enjoyed it was really special. “Thanks. Maybe I’ll play for you and you’ll actually acknowledge my playing.” He knew she had heard him all those weeks ago, despite her attempts to ignore him.
She smiled sheepishly and shrugged. “I’d like that,” she whispered, her fingers crawling up his chest to his face.
Cupping her face, he moved his thumb along her jaw and asked, “What happened with Liam?”
She shrugged. “There wasn’t anything to really end. I mean, we kissed a bit, but it wasn’t anything more. He was pissed, obviously. Told me you would hurt me again if I was leaving him for you, but I told him I was leaving him for me. Because I deserve more than to settle for the safe guy.”
“You deserve the world.”
She nodded. “Yeah, so make sure you give it to me, unsafe guy,” she teased and he smiled.
“Maybe I could be the safe guy?”
She shook her head. “I don’t want the safe guy. I want the guy who’s gonna keep me on my toes, make me live, and love me with so much intensity, I feel it everywhere. I want him to fuck me, to make love to me, not plan to ‘get intimate.’ I want him covered in tattoos, with a crazy beard, and to play hockey. I want you,” she said, her eyes meeting his. “I’ve always wanted you.”
“You’ve got me,” he said breathlessly, his eyes burning into hers.
“Good,” she decided, leaning back down and running her fingers through his beard. As he watched her, he couldn’t believe how lucky he was. How beautiful she was. He loved her hair, and soon he was reaching out, tucking her hair back behind her ear. “I really like your hair like this.”
She smiled, scrunching her face up. “It’s getting there.”
“I don’t think I can handle you with long hair, you’ll be too hot,” he decided and she rolled her eyes.
“Oh, hush,” she said, sitting up and smacking his chest. “Come on, let’s get in the shower.”
She didn’t have to ask him twice. As she climbed off him, he smacked her ass playfully and she grinned back at him as she sauntered into the bathroom.
/> “See, that turns me on. Safe guys don’t do that,” she called back at him as he got out of bed.
Grinning, he took her by her hips and stopped her, kissing her shoulder and then her neck. “Then I’m as unsafe as they come, because this ass needs slapping.”
She giggled, her body hot and irresistible against his. He wanted to lean her against the counter, take her, and tell her how much she meant to him. Deciding that was a fucking great idea, he started nibbling on her, his hands grazing along her stomach, but then he paused.
“Are you on the pill or something?” he asked and she nodded.
“IUD,” she said. “Like before.”
He thought that over as she broke out of his arms, starting the shower, and his moment to take her on the counter was gone.
“But you got pregnant on it?” he asked and she paused.
She looked over at him and nodded. “Yeah, I did,” she said, but she didn’t seem very concerned. If he was honest, neither was he. “So maybe I should be worried, huh?”
“Or not?” he suggested and she eyed him.
“Or not.”
She studied him and he grinned. “Maybe we should put this conversation on hold, ’cause the way you are looking at me is like you want to have a baby right now.”
He shrugged, feeling sheepish as he ran his hand through his hair. Did he want a baby? Yeah, he did, but the look in her eyes said if he confessed that, he would be rushing this. He didn’t want to rush it. He wanted to build a life with her, a foundation, a love that could withstand any storm. Since his life was one hell of a hurricane, they would need it.
But still, he admitted, “I wish you hadn’t miscarried the first one. I wish I had been there.”
Her head fell back as she nodded, wrapping her arms around her middle in such a defeated way. “Me too.”
Closing the distance between them, he enveloped her in his arms, kissing her pursed mouth. “But everything happens for a reason. We are starting over.”
“Yeah,” she agreed. “If it happens again, then we will address it at that point.”
