by Toni Aleo
He nodded. “She won’t be ever again, though.”
“Good, but do you feel the same? Are you worried?”
He lifted his shoulder and leaned back in his chair, lacing his hands together behind his head. “I’m not thinking about it, honestly. All I care about is her being happy and healthy. I don’t think she’ll lose this one. I feel that we are in a good place, we are happy and ready for this.”
She smiled. “That’s good, I’m glad it’s not stressing you out. You don’t need the stress.”
He couldn’t agree more, but slowly he said, “Yeah.”
“Oh my, Jordie. That was a loaded yeah.”
He smiled, leaning on his thighs. In the short time he had been coming to Julie’s practice, he found that they just clicked. She was an older lady, sweet and really listened, but she also didn’t hold back when she felt he needed to know something. Clearing his throat, he looked up and said, “My mom is in town. I’m supposed to see her tonight for dinner.”
Her eyes widened for only a second before she slowly nodded. “You don’t talk about her much.”
“Because she’s a wack-job.”
“Yes, well, I guess you aren’t looking forward to this dinner?”
He shook his head. “No. I don’t want to go. She doesn’t care about me, probably doesn’t even love me.”
“Then why are you going?” she asked and he shook his head, biting his lip.
“For some pathetic reason, I want her to care, to love me.”
“Because she’s your mom.”
“Yeah, and I have no one— Well, no, I have Kacey and her family, but I really want that blood connection with someone, and I don’t have it.”
“I understand that,” she said slowly, the tip of her pen at her lip. “But, Jordie, she’s done nothing good for you, and I can see it in your body language, she really affects you. Can you share why you are so tensed up?”
Closing his eyes, he leaned on his hands as he pulled in a breath through his nose and let it out of his mouth. “Since I was a kid, she’s always put me on the back burner. The only person who mattered was her husband of the month. When I was molested, she didn’t believe me until the dude admitted it, and then she asked if I’d enticed him. The guy was superloaded, and she saw her meal ticket going out the door,” he added when her eyes widened. “She just has never done right by me. She doesn’t even know that I’ve been in rehab, or recovery. She hasn’t asked. She is demanding that I meet her new soon-to-be husband, but she doesn’t even want to meet Kacey. She just doesn’t care.”
She slowly nodded. “But you’re going?”
“I have to. I have to give her one last chance, and if she throws it in my face, then at least I tried.”
Letting out a long breath, she looked down, writing something before reaching over to hand it to him. “That is my number. If tonight after dinner you feel like you can’t handle something, call me if you need me. I’m gonna schedule you in for tomorrow too,” she said then, typing something on her phone, and his brows pulled together.
“Why?”
She looked up from her phone and said, “Because this is something that can trigger a relapse, and you’ve done so well, Jordie. We can’t let her do that.”
Looking down at the floor, he already knew this.
So why was he going?
As Jordie drove home, he repeatedly asked himself his previous question. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, and honestly, she didn’t even deserve a chance to be in his life. Sucking in a breath, he thought about his own child and how he was already so in love with it and he didn’t even know what it was. Why didn’t she feel the same? Why wasn’t he enough? It wasn’t fair, really. Her actions had affected him in so many ways, and he hadn’t ever analyzed how she made him feel.
For years, he’d begged for attention. And when the molestation happened, he was scared to even talk to another man for years. All the husbands that came through called him a mute, and maybe he was. But she never hugged him, kissed him, or told him she loved him. She ignored him and that rejection still stung. For years, he talked to no one, became a recluse, but then he met Robbie. Robbie got him out of his house, his family loved him, and Jordie was happy again. But then that was all taken away from him. Did his mother care?
Not even a little bit.
Then during his adult life, she wandered in and out of it. Only hitting him up for money when she was between husbands. And he would give it to her. He didn’t understand the hold she had on him, but it was downright sickening. He had to stand up to her, had to be a man because he was about to be a father. He had to set an example for his child and not allow anyone to walk all over him. Because Lord knows, Stacey walked, ran, and stomped all over Jordie, and he let her.
But not anymore.
Pulling into the driveway, he drove into the garage next to Kacey’s car and reached for the Snickers he had bought her, before getting out of the car. Climbing the stairs, he threw the door open and smiled as Kacey’s face lit up.
“There’s my sexy mommy-to-be. Look, I brought you a snack to give our child a sugar high.” But just as quickly as her face had lit up, her eyes went wide and her jaw dropped. Confused, he asked, “What?”
And then he realized why.
Sitting on their couch were her parents, brother, and sister-in-law with Mena in her lap. Since telling him of the pregnancy, she’d sworn him to secrecy and he’d gone along with her. She was really nervous about everyone freaking out if she miscarried and wanted to wait. While he was bursting at the seams to tell someone, he honored what she’d asked. Anything to help keep her calm, but he guessed the cat was out of the bag.
As everyone gaped at him, Gretzky didn’t seem to care and was hopping and biting at his ankles for attention. But Jordie didn’t move. His eyes went from Kacey to her family and back again as Regina slowly rose.
“You’re pregnant?” Regina gasped. Jordie met Karson’s gaze and he was glaring as Karl slowly stood, his wide eyes going from Kacey to Jordie and then back.
Lacey, on the other hand, was bouncing in her seat as she cried out, “Oh, thank God! I was having such a hard time keeping that in.”
“You knew?” Karson shouted and she shrugged.
“Yeah, I knew before Jordie did,” she said innocently. “I’m her best friend.”
“And I’m her brother!”
“Well, shit,” Jordie said slowly and Kacey covered her face.
“Well, shit is right,” she said, rubbing her face before dropping her hands. “Did you not see their cars?”
He shook his head. “I was thinking, didn’t even notice.”
“So it’s true?” Regina asked, coming to the doorway, Karl flanking her.
Jordie looked to Kacey and she looked back at him, nodding her head. “Yeah. I’m pregnant.”
“Surprise,” Jordie said, waving his jazz hands in the air, but no one seemed to be entertained.
The silence stretched as everyone looked at everyone else. Jordie’s heart was pounding while Kacey worked her lip, nervousness in every single one of her features. Finally though, Regina shrieked before wrapping her arms tightly around Kacey, kissing her hard on the face before blubbering all over her. Karson wrapped his arm around Lacey and shook his head, a grin playing on his lips.
“Could have told me, asshole.”
Jordie shrugged. “She wouldn’t let me, wanted to wait till she was out of the first trimester.”
“Oh yes, don’t want to get everyone excited and then lose the baby. The horror!” Regina cried, and he didn’t miss the grimace on Lacey’s face or on Kacey’s. “But that won’t happen to you, baby. It’s gonna be fine. Ah, my baby is pregnant!” she said, kissing Kacey again, but Kacey’s face was like stone, her eyes watering. He wanted to go to her, pull her into his arms, and reassure her. But before he could, Karl came to him, shaking his hand hard. “I should kill you for not making an honest woman out of her before knocking her up.”
Jordie l
aughed. “Complete surprise, but I’m working on it,” he said with a wink, and Karl rolled his eyes.
“You don’t know what happens when two people screw like gorillas? You know where babies come from, right?”
Jordie chortled with laughter as he nodded his head. “I do, but she was supposed to have an—”
“Nope, don’t care, just be good to her,” Karl said, cutting him off, and he smiled. “Congratulations, son, you’ll be a great dad.”
Jordie smiled. “Thanks, Karl.”
Squeezing his arm, he said, “Come outside with me?”
Jordie eyed him. “You aren’t going to kill me, are you?”
Karl laughed before directing him out the back door, and when he saw Karson following, his heart stuttered a bit because, together, they could kill him quicker. With a pounding heart, he turned as Karson shut the door and Karl asked, “You good?”
Jordie nodded. “I don’t know. Depends if you two are about to jump me.”
Karl laughed. “No, dumbass, I’m talking about your mom.”
“Oh,” Jordie said, his breath coming out in a whoosh. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
He nodded slowly. “You sure?”
“I’m good, I promise.”
“Okay, well, if it gets bad, you call me,” Karl demanded.
“And don’t let Kacey hit her,” Karson added. “She doesn’t need that kind of stress while she’s pregnant.”
“I know,” Jordie agreed, his hands tucking into his pockets. “Really, guys, I’m good.”
“You’ll call though? If it goes bad?” Karson asked, his arms folding over his chest.
“Yeah,” he promised. “I’ll call.”
But he prayed he wouldn’t need to.
Eventually, everyone left, leaving Jordie and Kacey alone. But instead of talking to him, she went straight to the bathroom to get ready. As she stood at the bathroom counter doing her makeup, he could tell she was as nervous as he was. Or maybe she was mad. She hadn’t wanted anyone to know, and he had kind of messed that up. Since her hand was shaking, she kept having to redo her makeup, which he found cute. Especially, her cry of anger.
“Motherfucking whore bag!” she yelled, dropping her hand as a black streak appeared on her cheek.
“Just draw another one on the other side, you’ll be hot,” he suggested and she glared.
“No,” she said, her movements jerky as she washed it off, her anger-filled eyes locked on him. “I can’t believe you told my family.”
“Um, I didn’t really tell them. I’ve been greeting you as my hot momma all week.”
She reached down, picking up her Snickers before taking a huge bite, and said, “Whatever. They know, it’s whatever,” she said, but even she was eating with more force than needed.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly, but she shook her head.
“No, it’s fine. I just don’t want to let anyone down, and now that my mom knows, she’s gonna baby me. And if I lose this one, she’s gonna feel bad because she said that shit about miscarriage. Ugh! It will be such a mess.”
Coming off where he’d been sitting on the toilet lid, he went to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck. “It won’t happen.”
She shook her head though. “You don’t know that.”
“No, but I can hope so,” he suggested, meeting her gaze in the mirror. “And so can you.”
Letting out a long breath, she closed her eyes, leaning into him. “I’m trying.”
“I know,” he said softly, kissing her jaw. “It’s all going to be fine.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “Yes, it will. I have to believe that.”
“Yes, you do,” he practically begged as he slowly kissed her cheek. “We’ve lived so long without each other. Now we have each other, and things are going to go in our favor. I haven’t completely changed who I was for nothing. It was for you and for the children you’re going to give me.”
She smiled, leaning her cheek into his lips. “You are a good man, Jordie Thomas.”
Holding her gaze, he said, “Because of the woman who loves me and stands beside me.”
“Always,” she whispered, her eyes heavy with emotion. Her hands then came up to his, holding them as her eyes searched his. “Are you okay?” she asked after a few seconds and he nodded. He knew everyone meant well, but it was getting annoying being asked the same thing over and over again.
“Yeah. I’m good.”
“We don’t have to go,” she suggested and he nodded.
“I know, but I want to.”
Her eyes opened. “You want to?”
Looking back at her intently, he nodded. “I want to be honest. I want her to know what she is losing.”
Her brow quirked. “So you aren’t giving her the chance to be in your life?”
He shook his head. “I can’t. She doesn’t deserve it.”
“You got that right,” she agreed and she patted his hands. He let her go, allowing her to get ready as he took his seat back on the toilet.
“Good thing is, we get a free meal,” he said and her lips curved.
“’Cause you’re hurting for money.”
He smiled. “Hey, we are having a baby, gotta start saving. We play the most expensive sport, which means the baby will, plus college. And then if it’s a girl, a wedding... Ugh, yeah, I need to start playing really good so I can get a raise.”
“You’re insane,” she said, rolling her eyes, but then she looked over at him in the mirror as she removed the black streak. “It may help, y’know? Tell her that you don’t want her in your life any longer and not to call, nicely of course. Unlike me who wants to kick her in the vag and cuss her out.” He laughed as she continued, “And maybe it will soothe some of your pain because you’ll never have to see or talk to her again.”
He shook his head. “It won’t be that easy.”
“Sure it will,” she decided. “Because she can’t manipulate both of us.”
He smiled. “This is true.”
“So, no worries,” she said happily. “But if shit gets shady, I’m gonna Spartan kick her.”
Jordie shook his head, his chest bubbling with laughter as she shrugged in an innocent way, but Kacey was far from innocent. She was a whole lot of things, but innocent was not one of them. She was insanely protective though, and he believed every word that left her sweet lips. The great thing though—even though he sort of felt like he was drowning in the abyss of the unknown—was that Kacey was his.
And she’d stand by him no matter what.
He was going to need her when he faced down his mother.
He just hoped he came back in one piece.
The second Kacey locked eyes with Stacey Thomas, she hated her.
It wasn’t as if she had liked her before, because she didn’t. But still, pure hatred burned deep in her soul as she watched Jordie’s mother wave her hands up in the air before hugging him tightly, kissing his cheek as if she was a good mother instead of the poor excuse for a human being she actually was. Jordie went through the motions but they were stiff, and she could tell from a mile away that he didn’t want her touching him. That it almost pained him because they both knew she didn’t want to hug or kiss him. She didn’t even love him, or maybe she did, somewhere deep in that black heart of hers. But if she did, she had a poor way of showing it.
And that made Kacey hate her even more. If that were possible.
Her dumb-ass fiancé stood behind her, his mouth gaping, his eyes big as he took in the wide girth of Jordie. That was one thing about him that made Kacey’s heart skip a beat; wherever Jordie stood, he took up the whole room. He was such a big presence, and it left her dumbfounded that his mother didn’t care more for him. He was such a beautiful person, a good man, but it was fine. Her loss, and Kacey’s gain.
“This is Phil Quest, Jordie, my fiancé. He’s a huge fan,” she gushed, bringing Phil forward, and Jordie shook his hand, hard.
In that instant, Kacey knew why they were t
here. Phil was a fan, and for Stacey to look good in front of him and suck all his money out of his account, she had to act like the doting mother. Too bad everyone saw through her—well, maybe not Phil, but he was obviously a dumbass.
So sad, she thought as she slowly shook her head, just as Jordie turned to her.
“This is Kacey,” he said, taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles. She smiled as he turned back to his mother, a hopeful look on his face as he said, “My girlfriend.”
Stacey looked Kacey up and down, a stuck-up look on her face, her eyes narrowing as she shook her hand. She didn’t look like Jordie, she was light to his dark, so Kacey figured he must take after the father he didn’t know. “How nice. Are you ready to sit down? I have to get back to the hotel soon, I’m worn out. Phil had me all over Nashville. He used to live here a long time back, says he wants to move back. Wouldn’t that be nice if we lived close by?”
Jordie looked back at Kacey, and she could see the utter horror on his face. Smiling, she squeezed his hand as she shook her head, hoping he realized that his mother’s rejection of her didn’t hurt her feelings. That woman was nothing to her, and she needed to be nothing to Jordie. But Kacey understood his need for his mother. She couldn’t imagine her mother not loving her or even caring about her everyday life. She called every day just to check in.
But Jordie’s mom couldn’t even do that once a month.
“It’s nice to meet you, by the way, Kacey,” Phil said then, stealing her attention as he reached out to shake her hand. “You’ve got yourself a lovely lady, Jordie.”
Jordie smiled as Kacey shook Phil’s hand, but before she could thank him, Stacey said, “For how long though? Jordie doesn’t stay with ladies long, no matter how lovely they are.”
Jordie bit the inside of his cheek as Kacey glared. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Stacey looked back at her, a condescending look on her face. “Bet you aren’t the first or the last to say that.”
“No, I am,” she said very confidently. “Jordie doesn’t make promises he can’t keep, and anyone who had been with him in the past knew the score. As do I. He’s in this for the long haul.”
