by Kristi Gold
Nasira touched the place that housed her unborn child. “You are right. This baby is all I have ever wanted.” And could be all she would have if her love for Sebastian, and his love for her, proved not to be enough to overcome their differences.
As she drove toward the ranch, Nasira recognized she would need a good dose of courage, and perhaps ammunition, for the upcoming debate she would surely have with her husband. On that thought, she pulled the sedan to the side of the road to make a call that could provide her with the information she needed. A fact-finding mission that could possibly hold the key to the past, and perhaps the fate of her future.
She withdrew the cell to input the number and waited. When she heard the familiar voice, she drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Stella, this is Nasira. I am in dire need of your help.”
“What ever is wrong, dear?”
Everything. “Nothing really. I simply need to know all the details of Sebastian’s mother’s death.”
She was met with momentary silence before Stella spoke again. “I am not at liberty—”
“Please, Stella. This is of the utmost importance. I need to know. Sebastian needs to know.”
“Then you will need to speak to James about it.”
That posed a grave dilemma. “Do you believe he’s able to tell me?”
“Oh yes. He often leaves the present, yet he is very much suspended in the past.”
“I do not want this to upset him.”
“I assure you, it will. It does every time he goes back to that time, and he does so often.”
“I would never want to cause James any distress, but this is very important.” Even though going behind Sebastian’s back could incur his wrath, and only make matters worse. Still, she had to take that chance in light of learning she was pregnant.
A span of silence passed before Stella spoke again. “All right, but be quick about it, and if he becomes too upset, I implore you to end the conversation.”
“I promise I will.”
“Then wait a moment and I will bring the phone to him.”
Nasira heard indistinguishable sounds then James’s careworn voice saying, “Hello, Nasira. Stella tells me you want to talk about my Martha. She was a jewel of a woman....”
She listened patiently as her father-in-law extolled the virtues of his late wife, and with great interest when he finally arrived at the fateful day in question. The information was both stunning and troubling. By the time the conversation ended, Nasira was no less clear on what she should tell Sebastian. The truth could truly set him free, or sever their marriage once and for all.
She had no choice but to reveal everything, every last dreadful detail, and prepare for the predictable fallout after she confessed to him she was pregnant.
* * *
Sebastian was beside himself. Nasira hadn’t called to say why she had been detained, and her phone was going directly to voice mail. That caused him great concern. He should have given her a ride to the diner. He should have rented a second car. What if she had been in an accident, or at the very least, found herself lost on some dilapidated Texas back road? If she didn’t arrive soon, he would contact the law and organize a search party.
After he heard the front door open a few minutes later, though, he finally relaxed...until he noticed the distressed look on Nasira’s face when she entered the great room. He shot off the sofa, his nerves on edge. “What happened to you?”
She tossed her bag on the coffee table and collapsed in the club chair across from him. “The meeting with Violet went longer than planned.”
It was so unlike his wife to blatantly lie, but she had. “I called Violet. She said you left the diner an hour ago.”
Nasira averted her gaze. “I suppose I did at that. I was on the phone and lost track of time.”
He was plagued by an immediate surge of jealousy. “Were you talking to that McCallum fellow?”
She nailed him with a glare. “Do not be absurd, Sebastian. I haven’t spoken with Mac since the night you arrived.”
Only minimally relieved, Sebastian lowered onto the sofa and leaned forward to look for any sign of deception in her eyes. “Who else in town would you be talking to if not him?”
She kicked off her sandals and curled her legs beneath her. “I never said I spoke to anyone from Royal. For your information, I was in touch with London.”
He couldn’t seem to contain his sarcasm. “It’s no wonder the call took so long if you talked to the entire city. Could you possibly be more specific?”
“If you must know, I spoke with Stella.”
He worried the news might involve his father, and it might not be good. “What did she want?”
“Actually, I called her.”
“To check in on our status?”
“To gather the details of your mother’s death, which I did.”
He waffled between resentment over the intrusion to borderline anger. “Forgive me if I’m feeling somewhat betrayed. The least you could have done was tell me your plans to contact her.”
“I understand, but I felt it was of the utmost importance you know the whole truth.”
“I don’t see why any of it should matter now.”
“It does, Sebastian, and you’ll realize why as soon as I tell you what I’ve learned with your stepmother’s assistance.”
For some reason, he experienced trepidation over the possible contents of the conversation. “I’m quite surprised Stella would tell you what she knows, if she really knows anything pertinent beyond what I’ve heard.”
“I learned the facts from your father, not Stella.”
The revelation took Sebastian aback. “My father doesn’t remember what he had for dinner.”
“He does still remember the past, and quite well.”
Sebastian couldn’t argue with that observation. “I’m not certain I care to hear his version of the truth.”
“You are going to hear it,” she said almost forcefully. “And I believe you will be glad you did.”
He believed she would be sorely disappointed. “I’ll be the judge of that, but please, continue. I enjoy a good fairy tale now and then.”
She shifted her weight slightly, a certain sign of her uneasiness. “First of all, your mother was not pregnant at the time of her death.”
“Of course he would say that—”
“She was pregnant not long before her death,” Nasira proclaimed before he could finish his sentence, then added, “A fact unbeknownst to everyone, including your father.”
Sebastian allowed the astonishment to subside and logic to come into the picture. “I have a difficult time believing a straightforward woman like my mother would conceal a pregnancy from anyone, let alone her husband.”
A strange look passed over Nasira’s face. “She had her reasons, Sebastian. Some might say good reasons under the circumstances.”
He saw no excuse for blatant dishonesty, and he had a difficult time believing his own mother—the one he remembered—would engage in serious subterfuge. “And what would those reasons be?”
“She kept the pregnancy hidden because your father was adamant she not have another child due to her multiple miscarriages. He sided with the physicians, not your mother, although he claimed that was agony. He loved her so much he hated not giving her a baby.”
He had never known his father to agonize over anything other than the state of the global economy. “Clearly James was not without fault in the matter since I assume he was present when she conceived.”
“Yes, but she lied about using birth control because she wanted another baby that badly.”
Exactly what Nasira had initially done to him, as if history were bent on repeating itself. “Did the pregnancy directly cause her demise?”
“Indire
ctly. She apparently had another miscarriage and chose not to tell anyone, including her physician. That led to a lethal infection and subsequently, her untimely death.”
He took a few moments to digest the information, then summarily rejected it. “It would be just like my father to twist the truth to relieve himself of all culpability.”
“He has no reason to lie, Sebastian. Stella told me he has lived with horrible guilt since the day your mother passed away. He blames himself for her decision to keep quiet about the baby. He believes if he had not been so set against her conceiving, she would have told him about the pregnancy and he could have prevented her death.”
He acknowledged the scenario made sense, yet he had trouble trusting the source. “I’m still having a great deal of difficulty believing my father remained totally in the dark.”
“Stella suspected you would, so she offered to give you the official certification.”
“That only confirms the cause of death, not my father’s claims.”
Nasira impaled him with a glare the likes of which he’d never witnessed. “If you will stop being such a buffoon and search your soul, you might finally realize that your mother was not a saint, and your father is not Satan.”
He suddenly felt extremely drained. “I’ll attempt to come to terms with the information, but I cannot promise I will feel any differently.”
He could tell by the lift of her chin and the defiance in her eyes she wasn’t quite finished with the lecture. “It is high time you call an end to your suspicions and resentment. If you don’t, you will possibly regret the decision after it is too late to make amends with James. Believe me, that is a burden you will not want to bear.”
Sebastian wanted to debate the pros and cons of forgiveness, but his emotions were too tangled in turmoil. He rested against the sofa and feigned a calm demeanor. “Did you enjoy your time with Violet?”
Nasira’s dark eyes widened with disbelief. “You wish to know about my day after what I revealed?”
“I see no point in dwelling on the past.”
“I do if it relates to our future, and our present situation.”
“This information has no bearing on us, Sira, aside from the fact it does reinforce why it’s not wise for you to become pregnant again.”
“As I have said before, I am not your mother. I am healthy and able to bear more children. Women have babies every day without incident. Life holds no guarantees and comes with a certain amount of—”
“Risk,” he finished for her. “I understand that, but it’s a risk I don’t care to take with your well-being. And if you don’t mind, I would like to move off this subject for now.”
She lowered her eyes and clasped her hands tightly in her lap. “I cannot discard my worries, Sebastian. Not after what I discovered today.”
Concern came crashing down on him as he braced for confirmation of what he suspected she was about to say. “Please tell me you’re not pregnant.”
She centered her gaze on his. “I am pregnant, and I am thrilled. I hope you will put aside your fears and celebrate the news.”
Celebrate? He came off the couch, laced his hands behind his neck and began to pace like a caged cougar. “How can you expect me to be happy after what you’ve told me about my mother?”
“I knew I was taking a chance by unveiling the truth, yet I had to be forthright.”
He spun around to confront her. “That truth only cements my apprehension.”
“Your mother chose to become pregnant against medical advice and your father’s protests. She also chose not to seek appropriate treatment after she lost the baby, and in turn inadvertently caused her own death due to her deception. In a way I understand—”
“Of course you would,” he said, noticeable anger in his tone. “I imagine you would do the same.”
Fury turned her features to stone. “I would not do the same, and I cannot fathom why you would believe I would risk my life to have a baby if I had been told the cost would be so high. But I have not been told that, Sebastian. On the contrary, the doctor said I have every reason to believe this time will be different.”
“And what if it’s not? What if you lose another child? Worse still, what if you lose your life?”
She finally rose from the sofa. “I refuse to buy into your pessimism and fears. I choose to be optimistic and hopeful. If you cannot join me in that optimism, then there is no hope for us at all.”
He experienced a different fear. “What are you saying?”
“I am saying go back to London, Sebastian. If you do not want this child, and clearly you do not, then I cannot be with a man who will not support me during my pregnancy. I would prefer to be surrounded by people who will be happy to provide that support. I have that here with Rafe and Violet.”
“I need time to think.” Time to assess the possibilities.
She picked up her purse, withdrew the bracelet with the rattle charm he had given her all those months ago and laid it on the table before him, as if she was bent on wounding him further. “Then think, but I warn you not to take too long. In the meantime, I am going to stay with Rafe until you decide what you want. I respectfully request you not attempt to contact me until you’ve made up your mind. I will have someone return the car later this evening.”
As he watched his wife walk away, Sebastian experienced a strong sense of déjà vu. Her departure from London a brief month ago had come with the same demand not to contact her. Then, too, he had suffered an emotional pain that stole his breath and his resolve. With his overriding fear of losing Nasira, he had definitely cemented that self-fulfilling prophecy he’d been so concerned about.
He wasn’t the kind of man who would abandon his child, provided that child came to be, yet he worried his wife had already abandoned any expectations of salvaging their marriage.
If he did not come to terms with impending fatherhood, and learn to embrace it, he risked saying goodbye to his beautiful Nasira for good.
He had too much to consider, and too little time.
* * *
“Have you heard from your worthless husband?”
Seated in the chair next to the window, Nasira glanced up from the book she was pretending to read, steeling herself against her brother’s consternation. “Have I?”
He moved from the doorway and perched on the bench at the end of the bed. “If I knew, I would not have asked.”
“If my memory serves me correctly, you failed to tell me Sebastian called when I arrived here. How can I trust that you have not thwarted his attempts to contact me this time?”
“I assure you he has not called and if he had, I would have informed you immediately. I have learned my lesson in that regard.”
She highly doubted that. “I truly do not want you to worry about my situation during what should be a joyous time for you and Violet. Are you looking forward to the wedding tomorrow?”
“I am looking forward to having Violet back in my bed. I do not understand the tradition involving withholding the bride from the groom before the wedding.”
“It is believed that sleeping with the bride the night before the wedding will invite bad luck.”
“It only invites sexual frustration.”
Spoken like a man. “Has she left yet?”
“No. She is still packing her suitcases while Mac remains downstairs, growing increasingly impatient. What will you do if Sebastian returns to London without contacting you?”
Nasira refused to give up on him yet. “I am trying not to entertain that possibility.”
“Regardless, I will contact Nolan Dane after Violet and I return from our honeymoon. He’s a lawyer here in Royal who used to work for me.”
“I do not need a barrister.” At least not presently.
“You might in the future. He will provide a r
eference for a family law attorney should you decide to pursue a divorce. Preferably a high-profile attorney to ensure you will receive an equitable share of your husband’s assets. One who has experience dealing with international divorce.”
She tossed her book onto the side table and sighed. “I do not need Sebastian’s money, Rafe. I have more than enough left of my inheritance.”
“That is your decision.”
“Yes, it is.”
“At the very least he should be required to support the child.”
She should not be surprised that Violet had told Rafe about the baby. Somewhat disappointed, yes, but not at all shocked. “I see you have been talking to your fiancée.”
“Do not blame Violet, Nasira. I pressed her for information when you arrived on our doorstep, looking as though you had lost your dearest friend. She had no choice but to reveal the details to put my mind at ease, although she did not accomplish that goal.”
“You need not worry, brother,” Nasira said. “I will manage on my own if necessary.”
Rafe took on an angry guise. “I would like to seek out Sebastian and tell him—”
“You will not say a word, Rafiq. This is not your concern.”
“You have always been my concern, my petite pearl.”
She smiled at the brotherly term of endearment. “I am no longer your life, Rafe. Violet is. Your unborn child is.”
He rose from the bench, crossed the space between them and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You will always be a part of my life. I will always be there to protect you if your husband refuses to do so.”
She had to learn to accept that Sebastian could be absent from her world forever. That she might never converse with him again. Hold him again. Make love with him again...
The shrill of the doorbell thrust her thoughts back to the present. The sound of the deep, endearing voice demanding he see her sent her shattered heart on a sprint.
Had he come to tell her he intended to stay, or to say farewell for all eternity?
