She led me into the living room. The thick carpet muffled out footsteps. She dropped into an oversized recliner and hooked a leg over the armrest. I took a seat on the couch.
Silence stretched between us. I had so much to say, and I guess she knew it.
Clearing my throat, I started, “I had to do it.”
She grabbed a vial of fizz-tonic from a side table. “Vic explained everything.”
“Vic’s a good friend.”
“To both of us.”
I’d have to do something nice for our chemist next time I saw her. I owed her for making this easier. Woe disappeared in the kitchen.
After a few minutes of clattering noises, she reappeared, holding two steaming mugs. She handed one to me, then she carried hers to the floor-to-ceiling window and studied the darkened city before she settled on the couch.
She took a sip. “What did you want to talk about, Lev?”
I cleared my throat. Time to get my walruses in a row. “I brought you a gift.”
Woe’s eyebrows nearly met her hairline. “I didn’t expect that.”
I placed my cup on the side table, stood up and fished the present from my trouser pocket. As I extended it to her, she deposited her coffee cup on the floor near her feet.
Woe frowned, then reached for it, turning the white whale over and over in her hands. “What is it?”
“A whale.”
“I can see that.” She wanted more information.
“It belonged… t-to…” My throat constricted, and a boulder wedged in the back of it… my son.”
Woe turned it over and over in her hands, drawing her fingers over the smooth surface again and again.
Pocketing my hands, I took the moment to gather my emotions. The toy was the last gift I’d given to my son. Slim chance I’d find my son. If I ever did, he would be too old for a toy. He would probably need a cane. Or a resurrection. Unless he managed to get shifter genes, he would have been dead.
I sighed. “It’s selfish, really.”
That brought her head up. “How so?”
“Slim-to-none chance that I find my son.”
Woe studied me. “That’s not true.”
I raised a hand. “Stop. I know it’s almost impossible. If I even find him, he’ll be too old for a toy. At least this way it stays in the family. Maybe your child will play with it.”
“Family?” She covered her mouth with her hand.
“That’s what you are.”
Her eyes turned glassy. “I—we—will treasure this, Lev. Thank you so much.” She jumped up and threw her arms around me. “Of course our baby will play with it. I didn’t even know you had anything like this.”
My view turned watery. I held her a moment before I kissed the top of her head and released her. Woe was family. Same as Vic. Same as Jason. We might not always get along, but I had lost so much time, so many precious things. I refused to lose the family I had, and Woe’s baby would be loved and protected by a family of Keepers.
I wiped the moisture from my cheeks. “I didn’t for a long time, but that’s the reason I met Mara. She brought it to me.”
“It’s beautiful,” she whispered. A tear rolled down her cheek, glittering in the apartment light. She caressed the driftwood side of the toy. “Did you make it?”
The raw emotion faded. “I did.”
“I don’t know what to say. It’s a precious gift.” Woe stroked the toy, running her fingers from mouth to tail and back again.
I took my seat again but scooted all the way forward. This. This was the real purpose of my visit. “I have a favor to ask of you.”
“Hmmm?” She set the toy on the floor beside her coffee cup and re-focused on me.
“Am I really forgiven?” She might not come if she was still angry.
“You are, Vic is, Jason…” Her voice trailed away. “I’m not sure what to do about him.”
I steepled my fingers. “That seems fair.”
If we were already in the clear, Jason would be soon. Woe hadn’t mentioned Mara in that list, but she didn’t know her well enough yet. She would. If I hadn’t ruined it with her. I pushed the invasive thought away. I’d have to eat a little seagull later if we were all going to New Berm together.
For Woe’s sake, Jason wouldn’t be going on our little trip, even if he decided he needed to. He needed to stay in New Haven City for any new developments. The List Keeper had no business leaving the church.
Woe groped for her coffee. “What was the favor?”
I leaned toward her. “I want you to help me hunt for my son.” There. It was out.
Woe took a sip of coffee. “Who’s going?”
“Mara. Me. You.”
“Jason?”
“No.” Jason wouldn’t be coming. If all else failed, I’d get Vic to help me tie him to his desk chair until we got out of the City.
“Seems risky to go out of town with a woman you barely know.”
“That’s why I need you.”
“I’ve been having aggression problems. Vic says its hormones.”
“All the better.”
“I might decide I hate Mara.”
I covered a smile. “That is your prerogative.”
Woe couldn’t hate her, though. Woe was bad at grudges.
Woe scrubbed a hand over her face. “Wouldn’t Vic be better at this?”
“I want you, and you need something to do.”
She leaned back in her recliner.
I had one more trick up my sleeve. “What would you have done to get Arún back from the dead?”
Her lips compressed in a grim line, and her eyes hardened.
I waited.
“Anything it took,” she said, finally. She knew exactly what I was asking. Her hand rested on her abdomen, and she leaned toward me. “I’ll go.”
“Thank you.”
“Here.” I stood and retrieved an information pad from my other pants pocket, handing it to her. “The Librarian sent that for you to look over. It’s got all the pertinent information on it.”
Woe took it, her hair following over her face to become a curtain. She gasped, and her gaze shot to mine. “A party of three on a paranormal train, bound for Raishana, the Octupine City, under the Hurricane Sea.”
I nodded. “I hope you like visiting new places.”
27
Prep Work
Mara
Our Lady of the Park, Catholic Cathedral, New Haven City
Shannah. I’m coming!
Weeping, I startled awake with my teeth clenched. Something had catapulted me out of a deep sleep. My chest heaved, and my heart pounded in my chest. I rubbed my eyes, trying to clear the bloody visions from my head. I had to find her soon. Her time was running out.
She was in Raishana. I knew it down to the depths of me. The answers lied beneath the Hurricane Sea. I had to go with Lev.
I had to help the Keepers. Assisting them helped me save Shannah. The fates had ordained it. The plan had been decided without me, but I vowed to follow it through.
Earlier, I stumbled to the couch Jason offered and fell asleep almost as soon as my face hit the seat cushions. That had been hours ago. Or thirty minutes. I couldn’t tell you. No water dial or way to track the sun. Grit coated my mouth, and my throat burned of thirst.
It had been too long since I’d been in the ocean. My water needs would increase the longer I went without submerging. Another need would be met by visiting Raishana.
Footsteps echoed in the Cavern.
“Hello?” The velvet furniture and the tapestries dulled the echo of my voice in the room. It sounded like speaking into a tin can. Nobody answered. Jason wasn’t around, and the Librarian wasn’t either. “Hello?”
“Mara? Are you in there?” Lev’s voice startled me and nearly succeeded in knocking me the rest of the way over. He stepped into the Athenaeum. “You’re still here?” He scanned the surroundings. “Where’s Jason?”
“I didn’t attack him.” I gestured toward the
couch. “He let me take a nap. I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
He had the smarts to look at least chagrinned at that.
Maybe Vic could help me find something to drink. As I stood, a wave of dizziness washed over me. I grabbed the arm of the couch to keep from tipping over.
Lev rushed toward me, he took me by the shoulders, his eyes searching my face. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing. I’m fine.” I squinted at him, trying to get rid of the extra Lev. “What time is it?”
“It’s the middle of the night,” he said.
When I swayed, he draped his arm around my shoulder as though we were still friends. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I’m Mer. I need water. I need to be in water.”
At that, his expression fell slightly, but only for a moment. The change happened so fast I thought I imagined it.
“I’ll help.” Carefully, gently, he guided me to a large map. He pressed a red star, and the map dissolved to expose a countertop with a small, see-through fridge beneath it. He retrieved a water bottle from the stacks inside. He removed the lid and lifted it to my lips.
Turning my face, I said, “I can do that.”
“Let me.” He tapped my chin. “I’ve been a brute, and I’m sorry.”
I raised a hand. “Don’t.”
He raised the water. “Will you let me help?”
I bit my bottom. He seemed so earnest, so genuine.
My need won, and I opened my lips. He touched the mouth of the bottle to them, and I drank the whole thing. My lightheadedness diminished with each swallow.
After, Lev tossed the empty into the wastebasket next to Jason’s desk. “I’m sorry about earlier, Mara.”
I frowned. “I was tired. Lonely. Worried about my sister,” I said. “Just forget the whole thing.”
Still wrapped in his arm, we were close enough to kiss, and I stared into his eyes, surprised once more by the frothy oceans I found there. I wanted to keep him at arm’s distance. He was dangerous. I hadn’t been ready to see him yet, but the fates hadn’t given me a choice this time either. The goodness of him did funny things to my heart.
I could lose myself in him, and I wanted to. I leaned closer.
He didn’t stop me. His mouth opened as if to speak.
Mine did, too. Time stopped. He sighed, and I heard surf breaking on beaches.
Kiss me, Lev.
More footsteps sounded in the Cavern, and I stepped out of his arms, my cheeks already flushed. I had come so close to making a fool of myself again.
Lev moved toward the door, putting himself between me and whoever was out there. Jason appeared on the threshold, carrying a brown leather bag, and Lev’s shoulders drooped. Lev moved to the wingback chair and took a seat.
Jason tossed the bag onto the coffee table, and the bag jingled. “I thought you could use some supplies for your trip.”
His face hardened, and he turned to Lev. “How’d it go?”
“She’s going.”
“You know how I feel about it.”
Lev nodded. “Noted.”
Jason sighed. “When do you leave?”
“First thing in the morning.”
“I had better call Vic to disable Mara’s shackles. We have to do what we can to keep you all safe on your little adventure.”
“That would be most welcome,” Lev said.
I stuck out my leg. “Thank you.”
Vic appeared a moment later with a black leather bag. She shook it. “Let’s get to work.”
I clutched my own bag to me. “I’m ready.”
Vic winked. “Into the breach, then.”
“For better or worse,” I said.
I hoped for better than better. For Shannah’s sake.
28
Train to Somewhere
Woe
Arún’s Apartment, New Haven City
Something had disturbed my sleep. Yet, as I scanned the room, I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. Through Arún’s window wall of glass, city lights winked beneath a still-dark sky.
Lev had gone back to the church hours earlier. I’d fallen asleep twice before he decided I needed rest more than I needed to help him plan our trip.
Whatever had bothered me, troubled me enough that I’d woken with my pulse pounding in my ears, loudly enough to drown out the sounds of the traffic.
I could have easily chalked it up to the emotional tumult of the last twenty-four hours, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was a premonition.
And that Mara was at the center of it.
I moved to the bedroom and dragged the Librarian’s data pad into my lap to read over the information that Lev had brought. Most of it had to do with Raishana, customs there, and what to expect on the train trip.
After an hour, the baby crowded my bladder and forced me into the master bathroom. An orange tabby cat scratched at the small window that opened out onto the fire escape. Maybe it had been him that had woken me.
The feline had been loyal since the early days of my mortality, and I’d grown fond of scratching the miniature tiger’s ears. I let him inside when I finished, and he followed me back to the bed to curl into a ball on my pillow.
When I scratched, he purred. The sound made me feel less lonely. I didn’t have any food to offer the feline, but I rarely did. It made a satisfying arrangement for us both.
The hairy beast came and went as he pleased. I hadn’t even named him, and, based on the fat around his middle, he was obviously being fed somewhere else. I supposed he came around for a change, and I was happy to oblige him.
Standing by the too-empty bed I rarely slept in, I tried to fold a t-shirt and a pair of jeans, failed, wadded them up, and flung them into a gigantic, but serviceable bowling bag I’d found in the church’s donation box. I’d had the bag since my trip to the Fae Realm to meet Arún’s parents.
I eyed the geodes on the shelf. I’d been thinking about asking Arún’s to come back from the West Coast. I didn’t like his absence. He had missed the first weeks of the second trimmest.
Maybe I could check with Ishka. She probably knew how frustrated Arún might be at being interrupted.
It would be good to have someone to talk to who wasn’t involved in our day-to-day life, too. An outsider’s input could be beneficial.
Instead, I dragged an armful of clothes from the pile of laundry that never would be put away and stuffed my bag. It’d make enough clothes. I’d leave the utility belt behind. I didn’t want to think of Jason at all if I could help it. That meant no gadgets. And no tracking devices.
My stomach growled, but a twinge of nausea followed it. It could mean anything. Maybe I had let myself get hungry without noticing, or maybe the fizz-tonic wasn’t working. Either way, it’d been a while since I’d eaten, so I made my way to the stainless-steel fridge, a gargantuan appliance that I kept as empty as the bed.
Yanking the door open, I counted one bottle of salad dressing, a moldy loaf of bread, and a bundle of wilted leaves that were so decayed they didn’t resemble anything. Vic and Lev never let their cupboards get bare. They always gave me food, while mumbling sweet things about our impending child
I closed the door and turned around. There wouldn’t be any other food in the kitchen. By the time I figured out how to deal with the onslaught of sensations my brain had to sort through as a mortal, Arún had taken up the cooking at home. There were hot dog vendors and an occasional restaurant, but most often he cooked for me. The only food I could cook was scrambled eggs.
If I had any in the house.
How had I not learned to stock a kitchen? Or use one, for that matter?
Moms were responsible for those sorts of things
My legs trembled, and a cold sweat slicked my skin. My chest tightened until it hurt to breathe in, and my heart beat erratically in my eardrum.
I hadn’t had a panic attack in so long, it took me fifteen minutes to recognize it for what it was. Breathing came in gasps and was foll
owed by dizziness. A fall would endanger me and the baby. Back to the cold metal of the fridge, then, and I slid down until my bottom landed on the floor. I pressed my cheek to the marble tile and held tight, wishing for the earth’s heartbeat beneath my ear instead of the manmade structure.
I took a deep breath. In through my nose. Out through my mouth.
Five things I see.
Sunlight. Leaves floating on the wind. The tops of the buildings throughout the city. Blue sky. White clouds.
Four things I hear.
The slowing beat of my heart. The electrical hum of the building. Wind howling around the corners. A helicopter flying by.
Three things I touch.
The smoothness of the marble. My lower back pressed against stainless steel. Socks that Ishka knit for Arún on my feet.
Two smells I love.
Arún’s pillow. Jason’s Frankincense cologne.
And then I took one breath.
The tightness in my chest loosened by a fraction. Letting my eyes slide closed, I cleared my mind and waited for it to pass.
A hand brushed the hair back from my forehead, and my eyes fluttered open.
Vic crouched over me, her worried eyes staring into mine. A case of fizz-tonic sat on the ground beside us. “Why didn’t you call?”
“I didn’t know what was happening until it was too late.” I sat up with a groan. I hurt all over. “I guess I fell asleep while I was down there.”
Vic cracked a smile, but she still looked troubled. “You didn’t answer when I knocked. Finding you on the floor—” She waved her hand in front of her. “Definitely not my favorite.”
“I ran out of food, and I think I had a panic attack.” Tears stung my eyes. “I thought I was over all that.” I hadn’t panicked like that since the weeks following my un-planned landing in New Haven City Park.
Vic helped me to my feet. Then she picked up the case of the fizz-tonic and walked it into the kitchen. “You’re under a lot of stress,” she said over her shoulder.
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