Sadie gave a low whistle. “This certainly feels like kismet, all right.”
“Mommy?” Lincoln tugged on the hem of her sweatshirt. “Mommy, we go swing now! Peas?”
Lincoln changed favorite activities by the week. While this week’s obsession was swinging, last week’s had been his bathtub toys. Who knew what next week would bring? He was growing so fast, doing so many new things.
A chill dampened her spark of excitement. Would she be able to keep up with everything once the new baby arrived? Would she be able to give Lincoln the love and attention he deserved? What if instead of racing Matchbox cars and building block towers together, Lincoln ended up plopped in front of the television as Sadie devoted all of her focus to the baby and design?
She wanted happiness and personal fulfillment, but not at the expense of her child.
Having it all was easier in theory than in practice.
“Let’s hit the swings.” Sadie squeezed Lincoln’s hand tight. “Can you tell Miss Essie thank you for showing us the mill? Wasn’t that cool?”
“Tank you,” he said solemnly, just like a little man.
“You are quite welcome, doll baby.” Essie winked. “How old is he now?”
“Two.” Sadie dug around her oversized, seemingly bottomless tote. She retrieved a packet of wet wipes and began to rub the sticky ice cream off Lincoln’s cheeks and hands.
“Have you started to look into preschools?”
“Preschool?” She shook her head. “No, I guess we’ll start researching them next year when Lincoln turns three. Isn’t that the standard age?”
“My cousin runs Little Acorns—the spot near Dr. Hanlon’s office? They have an award-winning two-year-old program.” Essie said. “I figure if you and Renee are serious about the shop, you’ll be in need of child care, yes? Might as well go with the best.”
Oh god, this could really work. It didn’t have to be a pipe dream. It could be real…real and wonderful.
Her heart sped up at the idea of working again, of returning to her beloved career. Imagine waking up, showering, putting on makeup and styling her hair. She imagined eating overnight oats with Ethan, Lincoln, and the baby before they all started off on their separate days. Maybe they could hire a part-time nanny, Sadie carrying the new babe around in Lincoln’s old BabyBjörn on the babysitter’s off days.
Did it make her a horrible mom, how much she craved that picture?
But a happy mom and wife would make for happier children and a happier husband.
“Yes, I guess that’s true,” she replied, trying to keep her voice even despite her excitement. “Thanks for the recommendation.”
“Of course. I bet Lincoln would love it, too. He seems like such a smart, social little fella.” Essie swung her purse over her shoulder and hit a button on her key fob. Her white BMW convertible beeped twice. “I must run. Be sure to tell Renee every amazing detail, and have her call me, gosh darn it! I want her to see the space for herself.”
Sadie waved. “I will. Promise.”
She buckled Lincoln into his car seat and drove to their favorite park, the one that overlooked the ocean.
“Yay! We go swing now!”
She gave him a tickle, setting him in the baby swing and pushing him gently.
“Higher, Mommy! Higher!”
Sadie daydreamed about the pie shop as she pushed Lincoln on the swing set, lost in her own little world. And how perfect that Essie had mentioned Little Acorns! She would have never thought Lincoln was old enough, and she was certain he would love the interaction with other children his age, not to mention all the activities.
Maybe they even taught the children a second language. Now wouldn’t that be something? Even Annette would be impressed if Lincoln suddenly began speaking French at the dinner table.
“Plus de jus, s’il vous plaît,” Lincoln would say, his pronunciation perfect.
“Mon Dieu!” Annette would gasp.
Sadie would take a delicate sip of her white wine, the new baby sleeping docilely in her arms, and smile, “Why yes! Didn’t we mention Lincoln is now bilingual?”
Perfect.
She’d talk to Ethan tonight.
She was going to finally tell him about the pie shop idea, especially now that there was a childcare option for Lincoln. She sent her husband a quick text.
Hi! What time are you getting home tonight?
Bad news… I’m not. Stuck in Boston for the night, forgot to mention it. SORRY!
She stopped and simply stared at his words.
Was he really stuck? Was he really “SORRY”?
And was Ethan even going to be receptive of the pie shop? He seemed to take pride in telling people that Sadie stayed at home with Lincoln, that he was able to support their little family on his sole income. Plus, he talked about his Cincinnati childhood like he’d been raised in Mayberry, always raving about the brownies his mom would have waiting for the children after school and how she was always around for homework help.
“Mommy! No stop push!”
“Whoops. Sorry, sweetie.” Sadie gave Lincoln a few extra generous pushes. “Wow! Look how high you’re going!”
Sadie watched her giggling toddler soar, all the while completely lost in her own thoughts.
But Ethan had always been very supportive of Sadie’s design skills. She knew he believed in her. But would he think she could manage balancing everything?
She honestly didn’t know. But she never used to be the kind of woman who asked permission for anything. She took what she wanted and wrangled her dreams into submission.
Maybe it was time to be that woman again.
Chapter Fourteen
Renee rummaged through her top dresser drawer.
She must look unhinged, her hair flying every which way, her pale pink pedicure was still drying, and most of her wardrobe was spread across the bed.
She held up a pair of white cotton briefs for inspection.
Functional, yes. Sexy? Nope.
Why didn’t she own thongs? Or anything silky or lacy? Even prudes should at least own more than Hanes.
This was ridiculous. It wasn’t as though anything was going to happen tonight. For all Renee knew, Dan had simply invited her to his sailboat as a friend.
Men and women can’t be friends.
The famous When Harry Met Sally line ran through her head. She wished Tansy was here. Her daughter would help her choose the right outfit. Although, judging by her new Internet personality, maybe she’d put her in a crop top and low-rise jeans before suggesting they move their date to Ye Olde Watering Hole to do body shots.
After settling on a pair of black briefs (black cotton had a whiff of sensual, right?), Renee chose a floral wrap dress and nude wedges. She tamed and twisted her red hair into a sleek and simple updo, and smacked her lips with sheer gloss. She stood in front of her full-length mirror inspecting herself with the sort of scrutiny a woman so unfairly reserves for her own appearance and did a final twirl. Hmmm. Her boobs didn’t look half bad. The mascara brought out her eyes and—
“Crap!” she gasped, pulling the back of her dress out of her underwear.
That would have been quite the statement.
She spritzed perfume on her wrists and neck. She loved the floral, slightly spicy scent. Why didn’t she wear it more often?
She carefully walked down the stairs and stood in front of the window, waiting for Dr. Dan in the very spot Tansy used to stand while watching for rides to soccer practice or National Honor Society meetings.
At exactly six thirty on the dot, he pulled into the driveway in his black Toyota Highlander.
She liked that he wasn’t the sort of guy to drive a flashy sports car. And she liked that he always seemed to have a few stubborn hairs out of place on the top of his head. She liked, well she liked him.
Here went nothing.
She gathered her purse and locked the door behind her.
“Oh! Do you need to use the bathroom?” she asked, surpr
ised to see him coming up the front walk. He was wearing khakis and a crisp, button-up shirt. He had the slightest five-o’clock shadow and smelled like woodsy cologne.
“I wanted to escort you out.” Dr. Dan smiled, checking her out from head to toe. “But you beat me to it.”
So, this is a date.
He opened the passenger-side door for her, and she slid inside as neatly as possible, trying to keep her skirt from hiking up. “I’m not used to SUVs.”
“Yeah?” He fastened his seatbelt. She did the same. “I keep wondering if I should downsize, but I get a lot of use out of all the space. I like to go camping, and I can fit my tent, fishing poles, and, most importantly, Moe in here.”
He was very attached to the nearly one-hundred-pound hound.
“Will Moe be joining us tonight?”
He nodded. “Is that okay? He’s already on the boat, but I can drive him home if that’s a problem.”
“No way. I’m the guest here! It’s Moe’s sailboat.” She smiled, even though she was a little nervous about remaining upright on her unsteady wedges with Moe running around. Maybe she should have gone more casual.
He parked his SUV in the small lot outside of the Cranberry Cove Harbor and held her arm as they made their way down the dock.
“This is it,” he said a trifle shyly, standing beside a gorgeous schooner. He stepped aboard, lending his hand to Renee.
She grasped it, and he pulled her toward him. She lost her footing and ended up crashing into his chest. It was big and hard, the perfect size to rest her head on.
“Sorry!” Her cheeks heated. “Bad call on the elevated footwear.”
He smiled. “Well, they’re sexy as hell.” His gaze blazed a trail down her body to linger on her pink-painted toes. “I gotta say, you look amazing tonight.”
“Thanks.” She stared down at her feet, suddenly grateful for the wedges and their unpredictability.
He opened the door that led to the boat’s cabin, and a speckled dog leapt out to greet them.
Thankfully, Moe wasn’t the jumping type. He simply leaned his body against Renee, pleading for a pet.
“He’s going to act like no one gives him any love.” Dan rolled his eyes. “Don’t believe him for a second. He’s an attention hound who is particularly fond of pretty women.”
Her heart sank with the sudden implication, and she blurted, “Do you entertain a lot of pretty women on your boat?”
He cleared his throat, “No, no…I… Well, you’re the first one to come on this boat. I bought it when I moved to Maine. Meggie…um, that’s my late wife’s name… Meggie and I always talked about buying a boat in Seattle, but we never got around to it.”
Renee nodded. “I see.”
“Can I get you a glass of wine?” He eagerly changed the subject. “I’d love to show you around. It’s a small but mighty vessel.”
He poured her a glass of sauvignon blanc before showing her the tiny kitchen and living area, full bathroom, and modest bedroom. The floors were mahogany and he’d made the entire space feel inviting. The sofa had navy cushions and a flannel blanket draped over it. A leather framed photo of Moe on a fishing dock somewhere hung on the wall.
“This is cozy.” Renee approved.
“That’s a compliment coming from the Queen of Cozy.”
“Huh?”
“Your cottage might just be the warmest, most welcoming place I’ve ever visited.”
He held a chair out for Renee, and she took a seat as he lit the tea lights on the bistro table.
“Fancy!” She settled in, loving that he went to so much trouble.
He smiled at her as he searched for something on his phone. A few moments later, John Legend crooned over the boat’s speakers. He set a basket of fresh dinner rolls between them and a Caesar salad at each place before taking a seat. Moe settled in himself, lying against Renee’s feet, keeping them warm.
“Wow…this looks delicious.” She smiled bashfully, thinking she’d never been treated to a dinner with so many thoughtful details. “Thank you.”
They kept the conversation light through their salads and the dinner rolls. She told him more about Tansy and her prestigious scholarship, making sure not to mention any of her daughter’s recent behavior.
“Is it hard having her across the country?”
“Extremely.” Renee’s heart ached with missing her. “She was, she is, my life. When she first left, it felt like a part of me was missing. That phantom limb feeling hasn’t quite subsided.”
“Bet you can’t wait for summer vacation.” Dr. Dan removed her salad plate as well as the breadbasket. “Ready for the main event?”
Renee tried to smile through the flash of sadness as he set a platter of lobster in front of her. A cup of melted butter was beside it as well as a baked potato with all the fixings.
“This is gorgeous.” She swooned, her mouth already watering.
Time to forget Tansy for a moment and be in the present.
He lifted his head and toasted the starry sky. “I had to serve something special to accompany tonight’s meteor shower.”
“Wow, really?” Was she dreaming? There was no way she was on this incredible boat with this incredible man, being served the best dinner she’d had in years.
He grinned and nodded. “Meggie used to have this giant telescope. We kept it in the attic of our house, and she’d sit up there with a glass of wine at night, gazing at the sky.” He looked down at his lap. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be talking about her like this. It’s my first date since, well, since she died. I’m an amateur.”
Renee wasn’t offended. “I’m glad you shared your memories with me. And not to worry, I guarantee I’m rustier at dating than you.” She paused, wondering if he would find the next detail off-putting or just plain pathetic. “I haven’t dated anyone, seriously that is, since Tansy’s dad, my ex-husband, left me. And that was…oh, twelve or so years ago?”
He looked flabbergasted. “You’re joking.”
“Let’s put it this way, the last time a man took me out to a fancy dinner, I’m not even sure the iPhone was released yet,” she joked, trying to lighten the mood.
He looked at her with such big, sincere eyes, her stomach suddenly hurt. “What the hell did your ex-husband do to you?”
Well, let’s see. Russ completely blindsided me, giving me an eternal feeling of being on edge, of never being able to truly relax. He robbed me of my self-confidence. He left me to raise our child alone. He took away my ability to trust.
“Russell had an affair with Tansy’s kindergarten teacher,” she said, her voice small. “He didn’t even tell me to my face. I woke up on a Saturday morning late in May, and there was this stupidly clichéd ‘Dear Renee’ note sitting on his pillowcase.”
It wasn’t even two-sided—Russ was much too concise for that. He wrote that he and Ms. Samantha had fallen in love after he helped chaperone the Halloween party. (Renee had only missed it since she came down with the flu. Go figure.) He didn’t take much. Just a few suitcases. And her hopes and dreams.
“They moved to Vermont, thank God, so I don’t have to see them around town.” She sighed, trying not to let the hurt show. “They got married and have three kids now. Tansy visits them occasionally, but not much. It’s a shame. He may have broken my heart, but he’s still her father.”
And there it was, the truth: Russell had broken Renee’s heart.
Torn it into pieces, stomped on it.
She remembered tearing his devastating letter into shreds before balling a corner of the down comforter in her hands. She sobbed into the duvet. She screamed into it. She leapt from their bed and grabbed their framed wedding portrait. The sound of the glass shattering against the hardwood floor had been shocking, painful, and strangely satisfying.
She would never forget glaring at the photograph lying there amid all the glass and thinking, You stupid girl. Why didn’t you see this coming?
Russell had a wandering eye and a restless spirit
from the moment Renee met him. She’d thought it was exciting and dashing.
She’s been an idiot.
“Mommy?” Tansy had appeared in the doorway only a few minutes later. “Are you okay? I heard a big bang.”
Quickly, Renee had wiped her tears and plastered the hugest, fakest smile across her splotchy face. “Yep! I was just trying to kill a spider. What would you like for breakfast, sweetheart?”
And that was that.
Renee was forced to dust off her knees, get up, and move on. She had a daughter to raise and a house to take care of. She would need to start job-searching on Monday. She was the breadwinner now.
There simply wasn’t time to fall apart.
Over the years, her heart continued to feel that pain quite keenly. The horrible memories from that morning in May were etched into her soul.
But when she was with Dan? Her body relaxed, her fears quieted.
He reached for her hand and squeezed it.
“I’m sorry that happened. No one deserves that.” His low, soothing voice turned gravelly. “You must already realize this, but your ex-husband is an idiot. He’d have to be to give you up.”
Renee blushed. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”
Before the meteor shower began, Dan carried their dishes to the cabin. He brought back a flannel blanket and the bottle of wine. They moved to the cushioned, leather seats that ran the perimeter of the boat’s deck.
“Let me,” he whispered, wrapping her shoulders in the warm fabric. He refilled her glass and sat beside her, their thighs barely grazing, yet touching enough it was hard to focus on anything else.
They gazed up at the sky, to the soaring rays of light.
“I don’t even want to blink,” she sighed.
“Growing up, my dad used to take my brother and me to this a nearby conservatory. He loved astronomy. He could point out every constellation. I think if he was born in a different time, with different circumstances…”
“He would have been an astronomer?”
“Yeah,” Dan said, with a nod. “Maybe even an astronaut. His family was pretty poor growing up. He got a job as a mailman when he was eighteen years old and never looked back. He appreciated the dependable nature of his government job.”
Forever Friends Page 13
