by Claire Thake
“Anyway I came here to talk to you about my daughter. The night before she left she went out with you and she said to me she saw a message on her phone about going back to work, but there was something not quite right about it all, so I wanted to ask you about what had happened that night”
Daniel went quiet and felt a wave of unease come over him, it didn’t feel right telling her he had made a move on her daughter and scared her away, yet what did he say to her and she was staring at him waiting for a response.
“She didn’t check her phone once while we were out that I noticed, and to be honest I don’t think there would be much signal in that direction anyway” he answered, hoping to avoid the confession on what had happened when they had arrived back.
“That’s what I was thinking too, when she told me there was something in her eyes that didn’t quite match up with the words she was telling me” Anne sighed and rubbed her temples, her head was aching but not from the illness as was so often these days but from the worry about her only daughter.
“And she never told you she was leaving?” she questioned Daniel, trying to piece everything together.
“No she didn’t say a word, she said she was leaving at the weekend” Daniel replied
“My daughter has been through a lot in the past few years Daniel, did she tell you about it?”
“She told me about her husband’s death and about the accident” he replied wondering where this conversation was going
“She always avoids the bigger issues that arose from the accident but even I don’t know the full extent of what happened as she keeps a lot to herself. Can I ask you a question Daniel?” Daniel nodded keeping his eyes fixed on the floor.
“Do you have feelings for my daughter? Something scared her into running and she tends to run from emotion, she’s scared of getting hurt”
Daniel gulped and took a few deep breaths “It’s hard for me to explain Mrs Warren but there is just something about Carrie, something I’ve never found before in a woman. And yes I do have feelings for your daughter, but they are feelings I can’t explain”
Anne smiled and nodded “I could tell the way you looked at her, and the way she acted towards you”
“Daniel my daughter is a very complicated individual. Ever since she was a child she has always looked too far into things, and although it was good in some cases, it always held her back in others. The only person who could ever handle her was my son in law Ian, he knew exactly what to do to calm situations down for her and to help her breath. Losing him was like losing my daughter, she changed. The only way she can cope is to lock everyone out and to become this kind of human robot”
“He sounds like an amazing guy” Daniel replied wondering where Anne was heading
“He was, and it was a huge blow to lose him for the entire family. His death broke my family apart, and I lost my daughter. Being with you she gained a sense of who she was before he died, and it was wonderful to see, but at the same time I think it all scared her, and so as we know she bolted” Anne shifted in her chair and leant forward towards Daniel and reached out for his hand.
“If you truly care about my daughter, you must be willing to work for her, I can’t say it will be an easy road and she’s not an easy person to get close to but if you can break those walls I guarantee it would be worth it, it just all depends on how much you are prepared to work for her”
Anne stood up shakily and smiled at a stunned Daniel before pulling out a piece of crumpled folded paper from the pocket of her dressing gown and handing it to him. He took it and unfolded it to see an address, phone number and an email.
“I want to see my daughter happy again before I die Daniel, and I believe in my heart you may be the one to make it happen. These are the details Jason managed to chase up before when we needed to contact her about this trip, what you do with them is now up to you”
Daniel walked Anne back to the barn to make sure she made it back safely, before going back home, throwing himself down on the sofa and rubbing both hands over his face. He took the piece of paper out of his pocket and stared at it trying to work out what he wanted to do.
Chapter 11
“Carrie what on earth are you doing here?” Leanne questioned leaning against the door frame to Carries office.
“Trip finished earlier than expected so I came back. That’s not a problem I hope?” She replied, praying her boss wasn’t about to send her home. She needed to work to clear her head.
“No problem, but if you wanted more time off you could take it, don’t feel just because your trip ended early you have to come back straight away”
“Thanks, but I would rather be here than sitting around at home bored, this is more constructive”
Leanne smiled at her. Carrie reminded her of a young version of herself, and she had no doubt that Carrie would eventually take her place if she ever changed roles.
Once Leanne had left, Carrie pulled her mobile phone out of her desk draw and texted Leah. She needed to talk to her best friend and needed some girly time and a good drink to put everything behind her.
Glancing up at her computer screen, she sighed and used the mouse the click the ‘X’ in the corner of the word document. It was about the 10th draft she had written of a letter to send to Daniel to explain what had happened and make sure he didn’t blame himself for her disappearance, but each time she deleted it unable to find the words that would sound right.
Maybe he wasn’t even bothered that she had left and had only seen her as a quick fling, after all if he had felt such a connection as he had said, he would have got her details from her family wouldn’t he? Carries heart ached at the thought. She hadn’t known Daniel long but she had felt close to him, a similar connection to what she had once had with Ian and it scared her.
Suddenly feeling claustrophobic she needed to escape from the office, and made excuses to leave early for lunch, making her way to the nearest café for a coffee. Walking down the street she felt like a zombie and by the time she reached the café she was confused as she couldn’t even remember the journey she had made, the whole walk was a complete blank.
Carrie entered the café, ordered her usual coffee, and took a seat in the corner by the window, staring out at the world passing by, fiddling with the packet of sugar of the table. Feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket, she quickly retrieved it assuming it would be Leah, replying to her earlier message but found a text from Ian’s father Joe, asking how she was and if she was available to pop over for Sunday lunch.
Joe was a lovely man, and had been a wonderful father in law. He had been cut up when Ian died as he was an only child and even though Joe and Ian’s mother Sandra had never blamed Carrie for his death, she blamed herself. Despite enjoying their company she also avoided it as it was a painful reminder of her guilt.
Carrie quickly typed back a reply saying she would pop over at the weekend. It had been a while since she had seen them both and she felt it would be better than feeling sorry for herself at home. She also enjoyed visiting his childhood home and it made her feel closer to Ian somehow.
Later that day Leah replied; they arranged for a night in at Carrie’s apartment that evening with a take away and a movie. They did it quite often and every time neither one of them ever knew what the movie was about as they are too busy chatting to notice.
Arriving home on time for once Carrie quickly ran around the apartment and had a quick tidy up, not that it was a mess in any way but it made her feel better knowing it was all done. She then got changed into her pyjamas and poured herself a large glass of white wine, whilst she waited for Leah to arrive.
It didn’t take long for the buzzer to go and Carrie pushed it without checking who it was, as she knew it wouldn’t be anyone but her best friend as no one else ever came over, and she opened the front door ajar, for Leah to let herself in while she went to the kitchen and poured Leah a glass of wine.
She heard footsteps enter and called out to Leah that she was in the k
itchen, whilst putting the wine back into the fridge. When she straightened up the figure standing in her kitchen doorway wasn’t the friend she was expecting.
“Daniel” she whispered, not knowing what to say and wondering if she was dreaming it all. Daniel was in Devon, there was no way he was standing here in her kitchen surely? She stepped backwards and leant on the kitchen counter not trusting her own legs to hold her up.
“Carrie, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, your mum gave me your address and I wanted to let you know I was coming but I didn’t know what to say” Daniel looked nervous and rubbed a hand on the back of his neck, trying to avoid her gaze, suddenly feeling like he shouldn’t be here.
Carrie stood speechless, staring at him, not quite believing this was actually happening.
“What are you doing here?” She asked, unable to take her eyes off the man stood in front of her.
“I needed to apologise, over how things went that night. The night before you left” Images of that night danced in front of Carries eyes, the memories of how it felt to have his arms around her were so vivid she almost felt his touch on her.
“You have nothing to apologise for, it was me that should be apologising not you” She whispered.
“I had to see you again, I needed to try and fix things. I care about you Carrie, I couldn’t end things like they did”
A feeling of panic began to rise in Carrie, she did care about Daniel too, but how could she betray Ian, she was a married woman; her husband being dead didn’t matter to her, she had vowed to love him forever and she couldn’t betray that promise. She didn’t deserve to be happy now, not after she survived, she should have been the one to die that night, not Ian.
“Helllooooooo” Leahs voice echoed through the apartment, as she wandered in and stopped dead when she spotted Daniel.
“Oh sorry, I didn’t realise you had company Caz” Leah said, hers eyes scanning Daniel up and down, taking in every inch of him. Jealously began to run through Carries veins, wanting to tell her best friend to keep her eyes to herself, and that she was a married woman, but what right did she have to say anything?
“No I’m sorry I shouldn’t be here” Stammered Daniel, pulling out a piece of paper from his jeans pocket and passing it to Carrie.
“That’s the address of my hotel, I’m here for a couple of days, I will leave the rest up to you” Carrie didn’t say a word, just stared at the piece of paper in her hand as if it was some foreign object she had never seen before. Daniel smiled at Leah before turning and walking out of the apartment shutting the door behind him.
“Okay chick you have some explaining to do! Who was that?” Leah demanded leaning passed Carrie and taking the glass of wine off the counter and swallowing it all in one gulp.
“It’s a long story” Sighed Carrie as she threaded her arm through her best friends and they walked into the living room.
*****
Daniel walked and walked not wanting to go back to the hotel, yet not sure what to do with himself either. Why had he come here? He had left everything behind, to chase a woman he hardly knew on a whim, and it was obvious she didn’t feel the same.
On his walk back, he came across a bar he used to frequent when he lived in London and went in and ordered a beer; he needed to block her out of his head. He had never felt this way over a girl before. Girls came and went, and he never had any trouble attracting them so why could he not get her out of his head?
Her smile, the way her eyes shined when she laughed, the taste of her lips, he wanted her and needed to somehow make her feel the same way for him, but she was so damaged from her past, was that even possible?
“Dan? Dan Caine?” A woman’s voice said his name, and he looked up from his beer to see a beautiful red head staring at him
“Oh my god, it is you isn’t it? Didn’t think I would be seeing you again”
“Ella, hey yeah it’s been a while” Ella had been one of Dan’s hook ups when he lived here, one of the girls who dreamed of playing in world of a solicitor and loved the money that came with it. Unfortunately for her at the time, all Daniel wanted was a quick fling, not to settle down and get serious with just the one woman.
She hadn’t changed much in the 4 years he had been gone, she was still gorgeous, with big green eyes that just screamed ‘come to bed’ and Daniel felt himself drawn into them again like he was years ago.
“So what you doing here? Thought you were a big shot farmer now?” she asked taking the stool next to him by the bar, her short black dress riding up her thighs, exposing way more than was decent, but Daniel couldn’t argue that she was a good distraction.
“I came to see a friend” He said finishing his beer, Ella turned around and motioned for the bar tender and ordered them both shots. Daniel hadn’t planned on his night turning out like this but it certainly was a good way to get Carrie off his mind.
*****
Sitting on the sofa, the film playing along in the background - some chick flick Leah had brought with her, Carrie picked up another slice of pizza and took a large bite. She had avoided Leah’s questions as long as she could, distracting her friend with wine, food and the fudge she had brought back from Devon.
“You’re not going to get away without telling me?” Leah said through a mouthful of pizza. “I normally let things slide, but I have a funny feeling about that man who was here earlier and as your best friend I want to know what’s going on”
Carrie sighed and dropped her half eaten slice on her plate, turning to her best friend, she decided to come clean. “Okay that was Daniel” she muttered picking at the pineapple on top of the pizza
“And Daniel is?” Leah questioned
“Daniel is the farm owner where I stayed with my mum and Jason”
“And he is here why?” Leah asked, taking a big gulp of wine, whilst waiting for Carrie to reply.
“Erm well it’s a long story, but we became friends when I was there, but I didn’t get to say goodbye, so he came to find me” Carrie muttered knowing it sounded ridiculous.
“Ok so he came all that way just to say goodbye? Come on Carrie I wasn’t born yesterday, what happened”
Residing to the fact that Leah was not going to let this go, Carrie told her friend the whole story. Everything included the Christmas fair and the broken oven, finally ending on the kiss and her running. Leah sat staring at Carrie wide eyed.
“Holy crap, Carrie, what are you doing!” Carrie jumped as he best friend raised her voice and actually shouted at her, for the first time in years.
“I’m sorry chick but it has to be said, and trust me I love you, but you need to move on with your life! Ian isn’t coming back and he wouldn’t want this Carrie, he would want you to be happy and to find someone else who makes you happy”
Carrie could feel the sting of her friend’s words, she knew she was right but how do you move forward when you don’t know how. Tears began to run down her cheeks and although Leah wanted to do nothing but comfort her friend she didn’t think it was the right time. Carrie needed to wake up and find herself again.
“Carrie, listen babe, if he came all this way, just to see you I think he must have it pretty bad. Do you like him? I mean really like him?”
Carrie thought over her friend’s words, she was so confused, how could she move on without betraying the promise she made to Ian?
“I really do like him Leah, I just don’t know how I can do anything about it” Carrie replied sobbing
“Ian loved you so much Carrie, he wouldn’t want you to be like this and I think deep down you know that. I’ve kept quiet for so long hoping you would move on yourself but you’re just stuck. Go and see Daniel, you have the address for the hotel, please for your own sanity just go and see him. If you decide after you talk to him that he isn’t what you want then fine, but at least you have given it a chance”
Carrie knew her friend was right and nodded her head, picking up her wine glass with a shaking hand and drinking the remains.
“I will go tomorrow” she whispered, not knowing if she would or if the alcohol was making her brave. Leah then leant over and embraced her friend, kissing her on the head, and hoping that this could really be a way to bring Carrie back to having a life.
*****
As the night continued, the flow of shots continued too and Daniel found himself in a rather inebriated state. Ella was just as drunk and was now all over him like a rash, making sure she leant close to him every time she spoke as if she couldn’t be heard, yet he could hear her perfectly.
Midnight arrived and the bar kicked everyone out. The pair staggered out of the bar and Ella hung onto Daniels arm. He was scared to let go of her as he could see her falling over easily in the 5 inch heels she was wearing.
Turning to face him Ella wrapped her arms around Daniels neck and pressed her forehead to his, with her eyes closed
“I’ve missed you Dan” she whispered, then leant forward pushing her lips to his. Daniel shouldn’t have been surprised but hesitated to begin with, shocked by how forward she was acting. He was about to push her away when his brain went in the opposite directions and he thought ‘Why can’t I enjoy myself? Carrie isn’t interested’
Wrapping his arms around Ella, he embraced her and kissed her back, his tongue entwining with hers; trying his hardest to forget all about Carrie. Pulling away from the kiss, Daniel reached down and took Ella’s hand and the pair began walking, no words needed to be said, she knew he was taking her back to his hotel and it had been what she had wanted when she had first laid eyes on him that night.
After fumbling with the electronic room key, the pair both stumbled into Daniels room, hands grabbing at each other, Ella removing Daniels shirt as they walked into the room. Falling onto the bed Daniel laid back as Ella straddled over him removing her dress over her head, smiling at him.
Leaning down to once again kiss him, she ran her hands all over his bare chest, turning her head to the side she began to trail kisses down his neck to his chest. Daniels breathing hitched, as the image of Carrie burned into his vision. Putting his hands up he pushed Ella off and threw her onto the bed next to him.
