He slipped into the kitchen, Kallie following him. “Good thing Jill made all this food and then left so we could eat it all,” he said.
“I’m feeling up to the challenge tonight.” Kallie grabbed a big plastic cup from a stack on the counter before scooping it deep into the ginormous bowl of popcorn. “What about you?”
He couldn’t be shown up. That was for sure. “Oh, you can count on it.”
They loaded up on snacks and decided on a whim to head out the back door. After finding a soft spot on the grass just beyond the patio, they settled in with Dakota next to them, a spray of stars overtaking the darkening sky. Donned in sweatshirts, they didn’t have to worry much about the nuisance of mosquitoes. Even if they had, Grant doubted he would notice with Kallie sitting beside him. He began to relax, to enjoy the near-stillness of this place, rather than feeling stir-crazy by the quiet like he used to.
Though this may not be the relaxing evening he’d thought it would be—judging by the way Kallie released a long breath as if she’d been holding it on her shoulders for a while now.
He angled a look at her from beneath his ball cap. “You’ve been awfully quiet today. Everything okay?”
Kallie stared out over the prairie. She seemed to consider his question, then shrugged. “Just tired, I guess.”
No way. She wasn’t fooling him. Kallie was usually quiet, but something was off this time. “Are you concerned about the Millards watching the farm?”
“What? No.”
“Something up with the kids?”
“No.”
Grant waited. She didn’t move, didn’t offer any more explanation. He pressed his lips together. “Kallie. Don’t go silent on me again like you used to. You know I can’t read your mind.”
“Maybe I don’t want you to.”
Okay. Obviously something was going on. And he intended to get to the bottom of it.
“Does it have something to do with being here? At Jill’s and Mom’s?”
“Grant, I—no, it’s good we’re here. Really. They needed to see the kids, and you needed to see your mom.”
“But?”
“Stop digging for it, please. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Her voice shook a little, which meant he’d hit a nerve. Darkness of evening crept over them. He lifted his hand and placed it on her shoulder, the warmth there beneath his hand tempting him to move his fingers up to the nape of her neck, to massage the muscles there like he used to. But now he had no right. And obviously, he had a lot more work to do before she’d trust him enough to let him in.
Common sense told him to back down and talk about something else. But he never was much good at common sense.
“Kal, I know it’s hard being here. For a long time, it’s just been you, Frank and the kids. And now there are more and more people coming into their lives. I don’t blame you for struggling to adjust to the change.”
Her brows rose. “Struggling to adjust?”
“Yeah, I—”
“Well, pardon me for deciding to raise my kids the way I thought was best, and then had my plans pulled out from under me.”
“Are you regretting telling me about the kids?”
“I’m still deciding.” She dropped her gaze to the grass in front of her, and Grant removed his hand from her shoulder.
“Wow.” Taking the blow of her words like a punch to the chest, he pulled off his hat and scratched at his hair. That wasn’t exactly the answer he was expecting.
“I just...” Faltering, Kallie shook her head. “Never mind.”
He flicked his stare to her profile. Even in the darkness, he could read her taut expression, the myriad of thoughts colliding in her mind. He slipped the ball cap back on his head with renewed determination.
“You know what, Kallie? I don’t believe you. I don’t think you’re regretting anything. I think you’re just scared.”
Kallie shot him a glare. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me loud and clear, darlin’. I think you like being a part of a community and that scares you because you’re so used to doing everything on your own.”
Blue eyes narrowed. “You think I pride myself on doing everything on my own? Then you don’t know me at all.”
“I’m trying my best here. You’ve gotta throw me a bone.”
“You wanna know what it’s like on my own? Okay, I’ll tell you. Sometimes I’ve endured all day, just begging for an early bedtime for the kids, then cried myself to sleep afterward, only to be woken up a few hours later by more diaper changes and feedings and baby indigestion. More often than not, I have laundry piled up as high as the washer, and my crawl space is so full of diaper boxes, you can’t even step inside. Most days, I’m so lonely, I can’t think straight.” Tears spilled from her eyes, and she didn’t even bother wiping them away. “I feel so guilty saying that out loud. My kids are everything to me. I’d never wish them away, never long for a different life. But some days, I just...” Her words caught. Gulping, she looked away.
Loneliness. The truth of her statement hollowed him out. All he could think to do was break the barrier. He wrapped his arms around her and tucked her head into the crook of his shoulder. Placed his head on her shoulder and prayed for guidance. It didn’t matter what it took—from now on, he’d find a way to make sure she wasn’t lonely again.
Chapter Seven
“So, I was thinking. I might’ve solved our financial problem.”
It was Monday afternoon, and Kallie looked up from the vegetable garden, her hands poised around a stand of weeds that had rampantly grown over the weekend. Crazy how weeds seemed to know when you were out of town.
Peter and Ainsley were exploring the yard in front of her, each with their own baby-size hats to shield their skin from the sun. Grant stood beside them, his fierce green-brown eyes showing their wild side. Yep, he’d definitely discovered some sort of project he wanted to implement. When they were dating, she’d found his big ideas romantic. Now, with so much at stake, she wasn’t sure she wanted to take the risk.
With his new venture or with his heart. After Friday night in Jill’s backyard, she’d decided she had disclosed too much to Grant. Sinking into his embrace had felt wonderful—achingly so—but she couldn’t have him thinking she was asking for comfort. Because a close embrace wasn’t going to change all that stood between them. He’d left her and she’d hidden the kids. They obviously had an issue with trust. What kind of relationship could be built on a rocky foundation like that?
“What is it?” she asked.
“I want to open my own dog training facility here.”
Kallie stared at him, fairly certain that if her eyebrows shot any higher, they’d disappear beneath the brim of her ball cap. “You what?”
“Come on. It’d be fun. And extra income to boot.”
“I thought you said I shouldn’t get a second job.”
“I did. This would mostly be me. You could help wherever you wanted to, but I’d take on the bulk of the work.”
“I don’t know...”
“This is something I’m serious about. I don’t have another job right now, so we could use the income. You’ve seen the numbers firsthand and know they would help pay off loans.”
She was pretty sure her internal debate read across her face like Sunday’s newspaper. She was satisfied with just having Ruby to care for. Could she be okay with having all of those dogs on the property again, the business reminding her of Dad all the time?
Then again, Grant was right—they needed the money if they hoped to save the farm. The wheat wouldn’t be ready for another month, and they had bills due before then. If he could pull together some clients and do a one-or two-week training, then that might float them through the rest of the month and into the next.
“It’s my way of contributing—to my half, if that distinction hel
ps you accept it. It would give me peace of mind to know I’d provided for my kids.”
She sighed. “You know, I guess it’s probably fine.”
He stood a little straighter. “Really? You don’t mind?”
“It was a lot of work when we had a training program before, and with the twins and my recent stress, I’ll be honest that I’m leery of adding more to my plate.” She eyed him warily. “But I know it’d be an asset to our business.” And he’d enjoy it, too. Give him a chance to work with some bird dogs.
A half smile climbed his mouth, doing funky things to Kallie’s heart rate. “Okay. Let’s do it,” he said. “I’ll make some phone calls.”
“Okay.” Hopefully it went well—both for the farm’s sake and for Grant’s. “How’d your mom’s test go? Has she called you?”
“Not yet.” The barest flicker of worry crossed his gaze, but he hid it well. Too bad for him, Kallie knew how to read him. And she knew what it was like to wait for test results for a parent.
“I’ll keep praying for her.”
Grant smiled faintly. “Thanks.”
“Let me know when you get the results.”
“Okay, will do.”
“Oh, also, I wanted to run something by you,” Kallie said, sitting back on her heels. “The wheat crop is looking really good right now. Like, really good. Haven’t seen it like this in a while.”
“Great.”
“So, I think we need to get hail insurance for it.” She hesitated. “It’s really expensive, so most people don’t get it unless they need to—but I think in this case, we need to. If we were to lose this whole crop to a storm and didn’t have insurance, it would be absolutely devastating.”
“Got it. Call the right people. We’ll make sure the money’s there.”
“Cool.” That was a weight off her shoulders. She would do all she could to make sure this place stayed in the black. She yawned. “Sorry. We were up a lot last night. I think Ainsley’s getting a tooth.”
As if to emphasize that fact, Ainsley paused in her yard exploration at Grant’s feet. She rubbed her eye before sticking a finger between her gums.
Smiling, Grant reached down to pick Ainsley up. Then he scooped up Peter, who wasn’t far away, and cuddled both kids against his simple gray T-shirt, warming her insides more than she cared to acknowledge.
“I’ve got ’em,” he said. “Go take a nap or something.”
“What? Oh, no, I couldn’t—”
“Seriously, it’s fine. Let me hang out with them for a few hours. We’ll drive around in the truck and go for a stroller ride. Maybe bring the dogs and let them run. It’ll be fun.” He shot her a knowing look. “Seriously. When do you ever get a chance to take a nap?”
She lowered her gaze. “Never.”
“Exactly. Now go. The weeds will wait.”
With a resigned sigh, Kallie climbed to her feet and pulled off her gloves as she headed for the garden gate. She ambled to her front door and finally slipped inside, after a long look at Grant in the yard, holding close and tickling her kids—their kids.
Best not to let her mind go there—though it was sure getting harder with each passing day.
They were just good friends these days. Besides, he was here on the farm for the kids, not for her. So regardless of whatever feelings might grow inside her, she still needed to make the conscious effort to keep Grant at an emotional distance. Better to never love again than to fall and be crushed a second time.
She headed through her house, eerily silent, to the stairs. In her bedroom, she lay on her bed and fell asleep not too long after her head hit her pillow.
When she awoke two hours later, she blinked, staring at the ceiling. What had awakened her? Still groggy, she sat up. Then she heard it again. A knock on the door.
Strange. Grant never knocked anymore. What was this about?
She slipped downstairs, trying to reach through her mental fog to figure out what day it was. It wasn’t the day the frozen-food delivery truck stopped by. She hadn’t ordered any packages online. Was Rachel here to see her? Seemed weird she hadn’t called first. She usually did, just to make sure Kallie wasn’t too preoccupied with the kids. Besides, she usually worked Monday afternoons.
She reached the door, glancing back at the clock on the stove. Five o’clock. Maybe it was indeed Grant and the kids. They’d be protesting for supper right about now. Tacos was a fast meal. She could have that done lickety-split.
Kallie opened the door and halted.
“Hi, hun.” Mom stared back at her, the late sun lighting her slender frame and shoulder-length blond hair. Her eyes had deeper lines etched around them than last time Kallie had seen her, but her eyes themselves were the same. Albeit hesitant. “Can I come in?”
* * *
Seemed everyone already had plans for the summer.
Grant hung up his phone and placed it on his kitchen table. So much for his contacts. He’d called almost everyone he knew with a bird dog and none were available to bring their dogs out to the farm for a refresher course. Obedience, hunting; one week, two week; you name it. No one could make a training session of any kind. He still had a couple more people on his list, so he’d call them, too—though now he certainly had his doubts.
Maybe this had been a foolish idea, starting up a training center. Or at least getting one ready in time for this summer.
But it was the first time Kallie had called it “our business.” That had him beaming from the inside out, and it was enough motivation for him to try anything to make it work. Doubts or no doubts, once he finished calling all of his warm leads, he’d move on to cold leads. Seriously, he’d been in charge of a nonprofit. He was used to making cold calls anyway and wouldn’t stop until at least one training session was full.
And he wouldn’t be like his dad, allowing every responsibility to fall to Peter and Ainsley’s mom. He’d make this business work. Success meant being prepared and responsible, and if nothing else happened in his life, he’d make sure to leave that legacy for his kids.
With suppertime around the corner, Grant pushed the stroller up to Kallie’s door and then unstrapped Peter. The boy cooed, pointing at the door as if he recognized it. Grant smiled. “Yep. We’re home, bud.”
Not that he had much experience with kids—but he was pretty sure both kiddos were sharp as whips.
Gingerly, he opened the door with Peter in his arms and found the kitchen empty. Which made him nod. Good—that meant Kallie was still sleeping. She’d seemed to need it.
“There you go.” He placed Peter on the floor, who toddled a few steps before dropping to his knees so he could easily cruise into the living room, straight for his stuffed giraffe. After watching him a few seconds, Grant pivoted back to unstrap Ainsley from the stroller.
“Well, hello there, handsome!” a female voice said from the living room. “What a big boy you are.”
Grant whirled around. That wasn’t Kallie’s voice.
Hugging Ainsley close, he rushed to the living room, only thinking of keeping Peter safe from whoever had trespassed. But the woman sitting on the recliner held a striking resemblance to Kallie, plus about twenty-five years.
“Edith?” Grant frowned. “What are you doing here?”
Edith Shore met his gaze and confusion overtook her features. She stood slowly. “Aren’t you—”
“Grant Young, ma’am.” Not sure what else to do, he stuck his hand out to shake hers.
“You were going to marry—”
“Yep.” So glad she remembered that part. He hadn’t really met her but once. When Grant started coming around the farm, Edith and Frank were only months from their divorce. He scooped Peter off the floor and held both kids close to his chest. “Where’s Kallie?”
“I—I don’t know. She—”
“Does she know you’re here?” One thing w
as certain, she wouldn’t be sleeping if she knew her mom was downstairs.
“Yes. I got here about ten minutes ago, and I’m afraid it upset her. She left on the four-wheeler.” Edith released a shaky sigh.
The four-wheeler? “Where’d she go?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I should just leave. I’d hoped to make amends, but it might be too late for that.”
Her fingers fumbled together, and she looked away. Every bit her daughter’s mother in mannerisms. It made Grant think of his own mom and again wish that Kallie’s relationship with Edith could be restored. Sounded like Edith wanted that, too.
But first, he had to locate Kallie. Out the window, he turned his gaze up the road, long-dormant memories pushing through him. “Hmm. No, stick around. Would you mind watching the kids for a bit?”
Edith’s face lit, but her smile was a bit timid. “Sure, I’d love to. If you think she wouldn’t mind.”
“Thanks.” After making sure the kids were settled in, Grant grabbed the farm truck’s keys off the nail by the screen door and made his way down the porch steps.
He had to make sure Kallie was okay. And he had a pretty good guess of where she was.
Country music pulsed over the truck’s radio as he drove down the gravel road. The sun would soon be gone. God, please let my instincts be correct.
As his truck rumbled into a field and over the uneven path worn down by tire tracks, he scanned the area for any sign of Kallie and the four-wheeler. Slowly, he approached the empty creek bed. Cottonwoods stretched across the land, nestled in where the creek bed curved wide around a bend.
There.
Sure enough, Kallie sat on a fallen log beneath one such cottonwood, her four-wheeler parked not too far away. Grant stopped the truck next to it, left it running and walked the rest of the way.
Her Secret Twins Page 11
