CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
When we got back to Tanie’s apartment, we were sitting right back on the sofa. Tanie’s arms were folded, and she was staring at me. I was staring at the wall. The image of Jason being pulled out of the pool would not leave my mind. His body was limp.
I had to ask, “Do you think he’s dead?”
Tanie answered, “Hell yes, I think he’s dead.”
I agreed, “I think he’s dead, too.” I exhaled, almost like in relief, but it was more nervousness, unsure about the unknown. I admitted, “Tanie, I don’t feel bad about killing him.”
She smiled.
We were so evil. Here we were having a restrained celebration like we defeated a big bad monster. Maybe, we were the monsters.
Tanie’s cell phone rang, which scared us. We both looked at one another. It rang again rattling my nerves, and I yelled at her, “Answer your cell phone!”
“You really need to calm down.” She quickly got her phone out of her little purse and answered it. “Hello.” She listened and then said, “I wasn’t at the party. Who did you say got hurt?” She looked at me listening to whoever was on the other side. “Are you sure? Can you call me back if you hear anything else?” She listened once again and then said, “Well, we’ll all know by morning for sure. Talk at you later.” She turned off her phone.
“Who was that?” I asked.
“Jimmy.” She answered.
“Jimmy was at the party?”
“I don’t think so. He said that Jason is unconscious, but that’s all he knows. I told Jimmy to call me if he heard anything else.”
“I put all kinds of meds in that bottle of Tike. If those drugs didn’t kill him, that fall did. I’m telling you, he’s dead.”
Tanie remarked, “We’ll know for sure in the morning.”
“I can stand for another daiquiri.” I remarked.
“I can do that, and we’ll watch some movies and chill for the rest of the night.”
Tanie made drinks, and we settled in.
Jason was all in my head. There were so many memories of him, and most of them were just plain horrible. I thought back to when I was in school when the boys’ varsity basketball team won the state tournament my sophomore year, and there was a dance to celebrate their win. I borrowed a dress from Andrea because I didn’t have any decent clothes to wear. I did my own hair and make-up. By my own standards I wasn’t spectacular, but I was at the least presentable. Jason picked me up, and he never opened the door for me. When we got to the dance, he got out of the car and went over to his friends that were standing in the parking lot, leaving me in the car by myself. I was mostly waiting for him. He did walk me in, and once inside, he danced with me a couple of times. After that, he danced with other girls, and I was left standing against the wall feeling stupid. And when the dance was over, Jason almost left without me. He never apologized, and he never felt bad about it, either. Tanie thought I was the craziest girl to put up with him, but I had no idea. I had no clue how to handle that whole situation.
I wish I could forget the times I spent with Jason. If he truly died, part of my pain was over. I didn’t have to worry about him hitting me or trying to humiliate me anymore. I felt a sense of relief.
SATURDAY, MAY 23, 2009
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
I get the best rest at Tanie’s apartment. Sometimes I wish I could move in with her, but I would have to pay half of the rent and half of the utilities. The rent is not cheap, and I can’t afford it, especially now since I am out of work. These apartments are really nice, spacious, and clean, nothing like where I live. The rent for my apartment in Covington Point is around $100 dollars a month and you’d think with my sister and Pritchard living there it’s easy to get the rent money. It’s not easy at all. I was grateful for the little get away at Tanie’s apartment.
A tap on my back brought me out of my sleep. I rolled over and I saw the fish was still on the ceiling. I smiled because I was glad to see those silly fish. Maybe, I should put some in my room.
Tanie sat on the bed. She had a serious expression on her face when she spoke, “Jason is dead.”
I wasn’t happy or sad. I was just breathing.
“Did you hear what I said?”
“I heard you.”
“Are you alright?”
I answered, “Yea, I’m cool. I’m good.”
“Any regrets?”
I answered, “None.”
“What did you do with the pill bottle?” She asked.
“I think it’s still in your car.”
“I think we need to destroy it just in case, no loose ends.”
Tanie left the bedroom and she went to her car. She searched the passenger seat area for the pill bottle, and she found it. Tanie brought it inside, washed it out really good, and even took a hammer to flatten it out. I started laughing. Last night she was all smirking like the devil, and today she’s all crazy paranoid.
She looked at me confused, and she started laughing herself. She asked, “What is so funny?”
“You are. Nobody is going to be looking for that pill bottle. Nobody knows what we’ve done.”
“I guess you’re right.”
I asked, “How did you find out he was dead anyway?”
Tanie answered, “The news.”
I asked, “Is it still on?”
“No, cartoons are on now.”
“What you got going on today? I don’t have to go to work. So, my day is wide open.”
“I have work today. Matter of fact, I have to leave in a couple of hours.”
“I was hoping we could hang out.” This was the day I truly needed her company.
“I don’t have a choice. When I’m told to go, I have to go.”
“I’ll get dressed so you can take me home.”
My first thought as I was getting dressed was how normal I felt inside. You’d think taking another person’s life will make you regretful or even just a little sad. I didn’t feel either emotion. I felt free of Jason’s harassment. I felt like I can go on in this world and not have to worry about being hit or bullied. I smiled knowing he was gone, and I was the reason. He didn’t win this time. I won. Instead of him being the last man standing, I was the last woman standing. I felt like the heaviest burden had been lifted off my shoulders, and I did not have a single regret about it. So long, Jason, I’ll never see you again.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
When Tanie dropped me off at home, she said she’d call when she return to Colum. I stood on the sidewalk watching her drive out of the parking lot, and I wished I was going with her. When I turned to go inside, I happened to look down the sidewalk, and I saw Lori Anna, Jason’s sister, sitting on the edge of the sidewalk and she had her head down in her arms. Her shoulders were shaking. I was about to go down and try to console her, but I got a sick feeling in my gut. I couldn’t go to Jason’s little sister knowing full well I killed him. Lori Anna was hurt as she sat there alone, and for the first time, I felt awful. Jason treated that little girl like a princess. He spoiled her whenever he could. He got her anything and everything she ever wanted. To Lori Anna, her brother was the world and now he was gone. I couldn’t stand there and watch her any longer. I ran inside my apartment slamming the door closed. It’s a good thing she didn’t see me. I don’t know what I would’ve done.
I shook it off. I couldn’t let Lori Anna get to me like that. She is a sweet girl, a little angel, but her brother wasn’t a good person. I hate to say this, but maybe, I spared her the chance of her brother disappointing her in the future. Lord have mercy, why did I have to see her?
When I was going to my room, the phone began to ring. Andrea appeared from the other side of the kitchen, and she answered the phone before I could get to it.
She bellowed, “What!” She then asked after the person spoke, “Who’s this?” She repeated the name, “Alex?”
I snatched the phone out of her hands. Andrea gave me a nasty stare and went back to the sink. She bett
er not say a word because I was way too peaked right now to be bothered. She picked up her cigarettes from the kitchen counter and slowly walked passed me. I put my ear to the phone and turned my back in the direction of the living room.
I whispered, “Alex.”
“Hey Angela, I’ve been calling you for a while. Are you okay?”
I exhaled a sigh of relief when I heard his voice. I answered, “I’m doing good. I’m really glad to hear from you.” I heard the front door open, and I saw Andrea walking out.
Alex said, “I thought you might be mad at me.”
“I never can be mad at you.”
“You’re sweet, Angela. Look, I was calling for a couple of reasons. I wanted to apologize for the other night, and I heard about Jason. I mean, I know, you two weren’t together, but…”
“Alex, please, I don’t want to talk about him. If you think I’m all shook up over his death, I’m not. We haven’t dated in a long time. It means a lot that you thought of me enough to apologize, though. I wanted to apologize, also.”
“You don’t need to apologize about anything, Angela.”
“Yes, I do. I lost control, and I’m a better person than what you saw.”
“I know you are. You have nothing to prove to me. That was all Sherrie’s fault. She makes me crazy sometimes always trying to start trouble. I mean, she is family, but she didn’t have the right to butt into our business. I’m sorry about everything she said. It was unnecessary and ugly, and I let her know.”
“I appreciate that.”
He seemed to stutter before continuing, “I was wondering if I could see you this evening. I promise we won’t be disturbed.”
“I would love to.”
“Can you come by around 10 tonight?”
“Of course, I’ll be there.” I wanted to say I love you, because it sounded so right and natural to say those words to him, but the words didn’t escape my lips.
“Alright, Angela, I’ll see you tonight.”
“Okay,” I waited for him to hang up first. I believed our relationship was going to be fine just as long as his sister didn’t interfere.
I went to the bathroom to take a look at myself, to see if I looked different. I didn’t feel different. I still looked like Angela, not a monster that plotted to kill an ex-boyfriend and actually did. Wasn’t I supposed to feel something? Why wasn’t I afraid or nervous or feeling bad?
I decided to get something to eat. Standing in that mirror wasn’t going to answer the questions I had about my feelings. I went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator only to find a jug of water, ketchup and a half pack of bologna. There was a loaf of bread on the counter. Looks like I was fixing myself a bologna sandwich for breakfast. I should have eaten before I left Tanie’s place. She always had something edible.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
After I finished my sandwich, I cleaned the kitchen. It didn’t have a whole lot of bottles around, which was surprising. But it was still messy with dirty dishes. After I was done, I grabbed the garbage bag from the trash can in the kitchen and began picking up trash from around the apartment. If I didn’t clean the apartment, I guess it would be a complete nasty mess.
Instead of tossing the bag in the garbage outside my back door, I went out the front door to put it in the big dumpster, which was already near capacity, and I was being nosy to see who was at Jason’s apartment. There was a crowd growing. It seemed strange because people looked like they were gawking at something inside of the apartment instead of standing around and mourning. I didn’t see Lori Anna. Maybe, she was hiding.
When I got to my porch, I heard my name being called from the crowd. Jason’s girlfriend was calling me. What in the world did she want? I didn’t feel like arguing with her. This wasn’t the day. But when she came up on the porch out of breath, she looked very concerned, terrified, actually.
She said, “There’s a problem at Miss Carolyn’s house.” Carolyn is Jason mother.
“Why are you telling me?” I asked with an attitude.
“Your sister is there, and they’re in there about to fight.”
WHAT! I know Andrea was not in that apartment causing problems on today of all days! Was she out of her mind? I rushed off the porch towards the crowd. I excused my way through to the front door, and after I was inside, I heard yelling. I heard an unfamiliar voice, and I heard Andrea, too. But Andrea didn’t sound like she was arguing. I made it to the kitchen after pushing through the crowd in the living room, and I was puzzled by what I saw.
Andrea was in the kitchen wearing a trench coat. Where in the hell did she get a trench coat in the first place? She left out of the apartment without one. I was speechless. Then to add to the strangeness, Andrea had her arms crossed, and both hands were stuffed inside the coat. What was she trying to do?
Carolyn’s sister, Evelyn, was standing close by Andrea with her hands on her hips. She was the one yelling at Andrea.
I stepped between them. Evelyn immediately stopped yelling, and I asked Andrea in a desperate whisper, “What are you doing here?”
Andrea remarked, “I’m only showing my appreciation.”
“Your appreciation,” I asked confused by her answer.
“This poor family, this poor old family, has suffered, and I’m here to give my appreciation.” I caught on. She was trying to give her condolences, but I wasn’t going to correct her.
“She’s in here stealing!” Evelyn screamed in my ear.
I wasn’t going to get into an argument with her. That house was full of people that were there for Jason’s family, and I had no chance of winning that battle. I asked Andrea, “What you got in your coat?”
“I don’t have anything.” Andrea said trying to act innocent.
“She’s lying! She is stealing!” Evelyn yelled again. There was a murmur of voices that echoed through the house.
I noticed the cabinets were open, and stuff was moved around inside. Andrea had been searching for liquor. Why here of all places? At that point, I just wanted to get me and Andrea out of the apartment. I could feel and see the hate that came from those people that loved Jason.
I commanded Andrea, “Put whatever you took on the counter.”
“I ain’t got anything!” Andrea started losing her balance.
I spoke up real quick and in a way she knew I wasn’t playing, “Open your fucking coat, Andrea!”
She looked around at the crowded room and slowly moved her hands from inside the coat. Both of them were clinched tightly around two brand new bottles of gin. Evelyn tried to grab them, but I blocked her. After Andrea set them slowly on the counter, I pushed her out the back door.
Andrea yelled before she left, “Good night everybody!”
She was absolutely crazy. Was she trying to die? I didn’t dare look back. If the stares could kill, we both would be dead and buried. I turned her loose when we walked passed a couple of apartments. I was mad as hell.
I scolded, “What the hell were you thinking? You’re stealing alcohol from a family in mourning!”
“You are giving me a headache.” Andrea was trying to talk like she was sober. “I meant no harm to those folks.”
“You must be stupid! You must be out of your damn mind to pull some shit like that.”
“They weren’t drinking that stuff anyway. I was trying to help them out.”
What else could I say? She didn’t care. There wasn’t any use for me to stand there and fuss at her. I might as well be talking to a wall. I sighed trying to calm down before continuing, “Andrea, just stay away from them. Don’t do that again, okay?”
She ignored what I said and asked, “Did you hear what happened?”
I just said they lost a family member, and here she was asking me did I hear what happened. I answered plainly, “Yea, I heard. Please, will you stay away from that apartment? They don’t need any more of your appreciations.”
She waved me off and started stumbling to our apartment. I followed her making sure she went s
traight home, and it was the slowest walk I’ve ever been on. She couldn’t walk a straight line if she tried, and countless times she almost fell. Watching her walk home was borderline painful. When Andrea was finally inside, she plopped into one of the kitchen chairs, pulled out her cigarettes and lighter from her coat pocket.
I had to ask. “Where did you get that coat from?”
“I found it on the porch a couple houses down. Isn’t it a nice coat?”
She stole somebody’s coat, too. I threw my hands up and walked out the kitchen. “Stay away from them, Andrea! Next time you might not get out of there in one piece.”
I heard her say, “Yea, whatever.”
I didn’t see Miss Carolyn in the apartment. I wondered where she was because I know for a fact if she had of been there Andrea might not have gotten through the front door. Miss Carolyn knew what Andrea was about like most people did in this neighborhood, and none of that craziness would have gone down.
I closed my bedroom door. I was going to rest and relax until that evening. I wasn’t going to let Andrea worry me any longer.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
I could not wait to go to Alex’s house. Going there was a way for me to get away from Andrea’s craziness. When I woke from my nap, Andrea was down at Carolyn Stone’s apartment again, except this time she was standing outside talking to one of the family visitors. They must have known each other because it looked like they were having some kind civil conversation. Andrea was still drunk because she was unsteady on her feet. I hope she wasn’t trying to get back in that apartment again. I wasn’t going to save her this time. I was on my way to see my man, and nothing was going to stop me.
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