“Angela, would you really leave spiders in my room?”
I cringed thinking he might have nightmares tonight. I thought about my answer. I wanted to ease his mind, and I finally said, “Walter, don’t worry about that, okay? You’re a great kid.”
Walter said in a low voice, “I try to be.”
“Go on inside and don’t run. You be good for your mom and get some rest.”
Walter got out of the car and walked to the house. He was defeated. He was a little boy set against the world. In a way, he reminded me of myself.
CHAPTER NINE
Beth was waiting for me. She sat at the kitchen table nursing soup and ice tea. She offered me a bowl, but I turned it down. I could tell a discussion was coming, and I didn’t know if I was going to be pissed off or not. She asked me to join her at the table, and I did.
She asked, “So, how did you do it?”
“Do what?”
“How did you get Walter to settle down?”
“I spent time with him. We watched cartoons and ate popcorn.” I wasn’t about to admit scaring him with spiders, even though it might not make a difference. Beth’s only concern was to keep him away as much as possible, and seeing how she didn’t take up for Walter when Dillon told her to let him walk home, I figured it didn’t matter what I said or did.
“You have to really watch him, Angela. I know he seem like a perfect little angel with you tonight, but he’s really not like that.”
She was ticking me off, but I pushed that anger inside. I stated, “Maybe, he is and you haven’t given him a chance.”
“Every single day he gets a chance, and the moment he wakes up, he blows it. He is a wrecking ball with no chain, and whatever he rolls over is destroyed. I can’t afford to let him stay here. This house isn’t mine, and I have to pay for all the damages he creates.”
“He stayed with me for a couple of hours, Beth. He didn’t mess up anything. I think you are misunderstanding him.” I wasn’t backing down. Someone needed to speak up for him.
“No, darling, you are misunderstanding Walter.” The moment Beth said ‘darling,’ I got heated. I seriously hated hearing that from her. It was condescending, like I was an infant that didn’t know anything. It took a lot of inner strength to keep my mouth shut. Beth continued not even noticing my displeasure. “My mom is going to try and dump him off on you again. Don’t let her because she will be gone for ages and a day before you see her again. She is always dropping him off at Dillon’s house, and I always have to go get him. He’s always getting in trouble over there. I don’t know why she continues to leave him with different people. And you’ve seen what Walter is capable of. He burnt down that entire hotel. And that whole deal isn’t done yet. I think Buck plans on suing my mom. She’s going to hit the roof, and Walter better look out.”
Shannon is always dropping Walter off at Dillon’s house? That’s the only thing she said that truly struck me, and then tonight, Walter was hiding in my lap from Dillon. Boy, my insides were turning around. I’d gone from angry to concern in a flat second. Two questions lay right in my mind, and there was no ignoring them. Why was Walter so afraid of Dillon and why was Shannon continuously leaving him at his house? I hated what the answer might be.
Beth huffed and continued, “I don’t understand why you’re not mad, Angela. You lost all of your stuff in that hotel. Why aren’t you angry? Why aren’t you mad?”
I was mad when it first happened, but it didn’t fester within. I let it go the moment I moved into the house with Beth. I answered, “Maybe because I never had anything in the first place. So, I didn’t feel like I totally lost everything. Plus you came along and helped me.”
“Well, I was glad to be there for you, Angela.” Beth took her bowl to the sink and inquired, “Oh, I almost forgot. Did you interview with Brandon today?”
“Yes.”
“You got the job, right?”
“I start tomorrow morning.”
“Excellent! I told Brandon I would never let him live it down if he didn’t give you a chance.”
I asked out of curiosity, “Beth, why are you helping me so much? You barely know me. We’ve talked to each other very little, but yet and still, you treat me like you’ve known me all of your life.” I had nothing to give in return. So, I didn’t understand the outreach.
“I’m trying to do what is right in the eyes of God. I can’t turn my back when I know I can help you.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay your kindness.”
“I’m not looking for a repayment of kindness, Angela. I just want you to make yourself at home. This is your place, too, now. You don’t have to keep travelling or looking around for the next best thing. This can be it for you.”
Her invitation sounded ideal, but I couldn’t stay long term. I hoped when the time comes, Beth will understand.
“Well, I’m going to bed, Beth. I have to be ready for work tomorrow.”
“I am so excited for you! I think you’ll enjoy working there.”
“I think so, too.”
Beth seemed to be very nice, but I sensed something wasn’t right. My concerns went back to her brother and her boyfriend, and the blatant disconnect she had with Walter. I recognized the selfishness. I was like that once, and look at me now. Without a family to hold or love, and I was nowhere near rectifying what I did wrong to them. I couldn’t ask Beth why Walter acted the way he did around Dillon. I had a feeling she’d take up for her boyfriend. She’d point out every bad thing about Walter and every good thing about Dillon. Maybe, she wasn’t the person to talk to. I just needed to watch this family. Maybe, if I pay attention long enough, my concerns and questions will all have answers.
I went to bed. My thoughts began to drift, the outside sounds muting, and I began to remember the show I was about to watch right before Beth came home. I was aggravated that I missed it. Maybe in the future, I’ll be able to find out more about Jason. I’ll have to find a way to keep track of the investigation, but I didn’t know how I would do that.
I turned on my back. Immediately, I thought of being in Tanie’s guest bedroom. Beth didn’t have fish stickers on the ceiling. There were no blue circles for bubbles. The ceiling was a flat base eggshell color. I missed those stupid fish.
SUNDAY JUNE 21, 2009
CHAPTER TEN
I rose from the bed with a realization. I had no alarm clock, and I panicked. I can’t be late for work the very first day! What kind impression will I make on Brandon? I jumped out of bed and immediately pulled out a blue summer dress with tiny yellow flowers. It had gathered sleeves that covered my shoulders. With a quick brush of my hair, I rushed out the bedroom to the kitchen to see what time it was. Thank goodness it was only 7 a.m. I exhaled and flopped down at the kitchen table.
Beth was at the stove stirring eggs. She asked still concentrating on the skillet, “Something wrong, Angela?”
“I thought I was late for work. I need an alarm clock.”
“Oh, my apologies, I have one in the hallway closet. It only needs AA batteries. Take a look in the fridge, and you’ll find the batteries in there.”
I opened the refrigerator, and they set in an encased compartment that was meant for the butter. Beth had managed to stick all kinds of batteries in there, and I knew the moment I opened the compartment, they were going to fall on the floor. I slid it open a little and stuck two fingers in. When I successfully got two batteries out without the other batteries falling out, I went to the hallway closet and set up the alarm clock. Great, now I won’t have to worry about the time anymore. I set the clock beside my bed and shifted it so it’ll face me when I got up the next morning.
I returned to the kitchen and discovered a surprise. There were two plates on the table full of food. Beth cooked eggs, toast, grits, and smoked sausage. It smelled so good. I was in heaven.
Beth sat down and asked, “Angela, will you please say grace?”
“I’m not very good at it.”
“You can just say what’s in your heart.”
I closed my eyes, bowed my head and prayed, “Heavenly Father, thank you for this meal Beth has prepared this morning. Amen.” I sure hoped that was good enough. I was at a loss for anymore words. I had no idea how to properly pray.
Beth lifted her head with a smile and repeated, “Amen!” I guess it was good enough.
I began eating the eggs first. I closed my eyes relishing the taste.
“I was thinking you need to start off the first day of work with a good meal.”
“I like good meals any day.” I added.
We laughed.
Beth remarked, “Do you remember I told you about the job in Threshold? I put in an application yesterday. I hope to hear from them today or tomorrow.”
“That fast?”
“He said they plan on opening soon, and they need to get people hired and trained up quick.”
“Are you still trying for the bartending job or something else?”
“I’m still going for the bartending job, but if I get it, the club won’t close until 3 or 4 a.m. depending upon what’s going on Saturday nights. I go to church every Sunday at nine o’clock, and I know I’m going to be exhausted.”
“Well, tell them you want to work only until 2 a.m. on Saturdays. When do they stop serving alcohol?”
“I think they stop around two. I think I may try that, Angela. That’s a good idea.”
I had a thought about this bartending thing. She was very religious or seemed to be, at least. This job was not what I expect of someone like her. I asked, “So, do you think it’s contradictory that you might be working at a night club during the week, and then on Sunday you’re in church?”
She stopped chewing her food and stared at me. I could tell my question bothered her. She answered, “I don’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong. I have to make a living some kind of way. I can’t afford to live off the money I make at the diner alone.”
“There are other jobs, Beth.”
“I know, but I think I’ll be really good at this, and I can make really good money. I don’t see how it’s wrong, anyway. I’m not going to be prostituting. I’m won’t be selling drugs, and I’m not going to kill anyone. This job is just another job, like the hotel.”
She was trying to justify her job, but honestly, it didn’t matter to me if she was a prostitute, sold drugs, or killed someone; as long as that someone wasn’t me. Sometimes in order to make it, you have to do what you have to do. I asked the question because she seemed so religious. Maybe, Beth is the type to sin all week and ask for forgiveness on Sunday. Maybe, her conscious gets the best of her every time. I was just trying to make conversation anyway. I didn’t care what kind of job she had.
After breakfast, I helped Beth with the dishes. Beth talked about her boyfriend, and how she met him. I didn’t hear anything she said. I didn’t think very much of Dillon, and I sure as hell didn’t like him. I didn’t like the way he stared at Walter last night. I didn’t like how Walter reacted to it. I was so annoyed by everything she said. I’d rather talk about a rock in the front yard than Dillon any day.
Once the kitchen was finished, Beth wiped her hands on a dishrag and offered, “Do you want a ride to work? I’m going to church, and it’s along the way.”
“No, I’ll walk.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m fine. Go to church and enjoy your day. I’ll see you when I get back later.”
I thanked Beth for breakfast, and I went out the front door. The truck that had circled the cul-de-sac the night before was now parked in Ms. Emma’s driveway. I didn’t see the driver anywhere. Who was the mystery person that owned that truck? I wanted to knock on Ms. Emma’s door just to ensure she was okay, but I had a feeling I wouldn’t be welcomed by Ms. Emma’s visitor. I kept going vowing to see Ms. Emma when I got home later.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
The door to the bookstore was slightly open. I pulled it opened, and the familiar bell sung above my head and echoed throughout the store. The empty store seemed much bigger. Books were lined up, no dust to be found, and there was a light scent of paper and vanilla fragrance. I was kind of at awe with the entire place. Brandon put a lot of thought into the store.
He strolled down the steps wearing a t-shirt and blue jeans. He said, “Good morning, Angela.”
“Hi,” I remarked.
“Let me show you around the store. Are you ready?”
“I’m ready, Brandon.” It felt good to be working again. The familiar feeling of being useful to the world always gave me a sense of belonging.
“We can start over here in the children’s section. This is the area where you’ll find children’s books, and every Monday I have Story Time. All of my employees take turns to read to the kids. Tomorrow is Evanna’s turn. They’ll be here around four. The kids really enjoy Story Time.”
“I guess you expect me to read to the kids, too?”
“Of course, I do.”
I didn’t like reading aloud, but I wasn’t going to make a big deal of it. At least, I didn’t have to do it every day.
“Okay, over here are the young adult readers and manga books. This is my most popular section. I may have to expand the section in a month or two.” Brandon pointed and walked over to the other side of the store. “On this side of the store is nothing but fiction and literature. Everything in the store is alphabetized by author’s last name, except for the manga, do-it-yourself section, and the reference books. Follow me upstairs, Angela.”
The second floor was spacious, as well. A large circular window was on the far wall, and it lighted the entire floor. There were five long book shelves filled to the max with thick reference books. Ten computer desks with laptops were set up against the far right wall.
Brandon continued, “This area up here is used for research. I let kids use the computers for free to do their homework. Some kids don’t have access to the internet at home. So, I offer it here.”
“This is very nice, Brandon.”
“Thank you very much.” Brandon pushed his glasses onto his face and proudly gazed around.
“What made you decide to open this store?” I asked.
“Wisp didn’t have a bookstore. I would have to drive all the way to Threshold just to buy a book. So, when I graduated from college, I decided to open a store here.”
“I can tell you’re very proud of this place.”
“I worked hard to get it going. It took a lot of time and a lot of money.”
“Your family comes in here a lot?”
“My mom is in a wheel chair. So, she rarely comes in. My dad isn’t a book kind of guy, but he came in here once and bought a Bible and a couple of duck hunting magazines. That was his way of showing support.”
I laughed. Brandon was surprised by my reaction. He laughed, too.
“What about your brother?” I asked about Dillon because I wanted to know if he was going to be coming in a whole lot. I may have to find another job if he visited the store frequently.
“Dillon has never set foot in here. He has his opinions about my chosen profession, and I find keeping him out of here makes my life ten times easier.” Dillon was a pain in the butt to his own brother. Why am I not surprised?
I asked, “He doesn’t like that you own a bookstore?”
“He thinks I should have opened a gym or a gun shop.”
I said, “Maybe, he should open a gym or gun shop.”
Brandon agreed with a chuckle, “I’ve told him that before.” He continued as we went down the steps.
In a way, and I absolutely hated to admit this, but Dillon reminded me of how I was. I cringed at the thought. I was a pain to my sisters. Now, that none of them were around, I wished I treated them better. I wished I had been more of a caring person towards them. Why didn’t I do better? I hated going back to this in my mind. When I thought about Andrea and Olivia, my entire insides flipped and turned and I felt so sick.
I was so much into my th
oughts that I wasn’t paying attention to where I was stepping, and I slipped on the last step and hit the floor. I felt the shock of the fall throughout my entire body and the jolt triggered a mental anguish of losing my family. I was so ashamed of the way I treated them. My eyes began to well up, and I could hardly breathe.
Brandon asked as he got down on his knees beside me, “Angela, are you okay? Are you hurt?”
I wiped my tears away and said through my sobbing, “I’m okay. I’m sorry, Brandon.”
“There is no need for you to apologize. Can you stand? Is anything broken?” He looked so worried.
It was hard to speak but I managed to say, “I am so clumsy. I’m fine. I promise I’m okay.”
“You hit the floor kind of hard, Angela. Are you sure?”
“Yea, I’m sure.”
He gently touched my arm waiting for me to move. He helped me to my feet, and I stood for a moment trying to catch my breath.
“Where is the ladies room? I think I need a minute.” I needed more than a minute because I was emotionally tore up.
“It’s right over there in the back of the store to the right. Please, take all the time you need. Can I get you something?”
“No, I’m good.” I stepped back from him and slowly made my way to the bathroom.
I locked the door, and I sat down on the floor. I missed my family. I missed all of them. I wasted so many chances to keep them close, and I pushed them away every single chance I got. Now, I was alone in a bookstore bathroom in Wisp, North Carolina regretting what I had done to my family. I wanted another chance. I craved more than anything else for one more chance.
After several minutes of hiding, I decided it was time to face the world again. The bathroom was not exactly a perfect sanctuary. I checked my face in the mirror and straightened my dress. I was still stressed out. I went back out trying to act like I was fine.
He asked, “Are you okay now?”
The Ex Killer Series Page 37
