by Redrae Gunn
Rock came to the front of the cage holding a ball gag. Kira clamped her mouth shut and shook her head. Rock nodded his head and waited. He gave her his warning look and held her locked in gaze. He could hold this look forever. She finally complied and let him fasten the gag.
Kira was so close to tears. She hated the gag. She knew that Rock knew she hated the gag and the fact that it was on her face made her even more depressed. She closed her eyes. Nothing was going right.
Kira opened her eyes once she knew she wasn’t going to cry and glanced around the room. Rock was nowhere to be seen. He had left her alone, caged and gagged. He was probably going to pick out her clothes. Kira closed her eyes and squeezed them tight as she fought the onslaught of emotions.
Rock looked down at Kira as he stood in front of the cage holding a wooden paddle in his hand. He knew that Kira had no love for pain. None. During the blizzard, she had let him try warming her up with a flogger. He had been careful but there had been no arousal. He’d also noticed that a hard smack to her ass was also a turnoff. She hadn’t minded playful swats but anything harder had turned her off instantly. Just the threat of pain was enough to keep her in line.
If Rock was right, and he was pretty sure that he would be, his little flower, a small and naked wreck of emotions, would open her eyes and do exactly what he wanted her to do. Rock watched as she opened her eyes and the slow whine that came from her throat ripped into his heart nearly causing him to drop the paddle. He hardened his resolve and pointed one finger to the floor.
* * * *
Kira choked as the tears started to run down her face. She gripped the cage door with all of her strength and pulled it to her. He could easily overpower her and open the door. She wasn’t going to come to him and kneel in front of him while he was holding that. She wasn’t going to let him in the cage either. Not without a fight. She choked as the sobs started to come fast and she completely lost it.
When Kira finally started crying, Rock dropped the paddle and pulled the door open despite Kira holding it shut. She fell out at his feet, her knuckles white as she gripped the bars. Rock unclasped the gag from her mouth.
Kira’s whimpering moans brought every one of Rock’s protective instincts to the surface. He scooped her up from the floor and carried her to the recliner. He sat down and felt satisfaction when she wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him tightly, looking for his comfort. Rock rubbed his chin on her head and stroked her back.
“I knew you wouldn’t hurt me,” Kira cried.
“What is really wrong?” Rock asked. “Share with me.” He tipped her chin up so she had to look in his eyes.
Kira started crying again and then she spilled everything. She told him about how she missed her grandpa, how she had never known her mom, and didn’t know who her dad was.
“Even in a crowded room I still feel alone,” Kira whispered through hiccups as she rubbed her head against Rock’s firm chest.
“You are alone, Kira,” Rock said. There was no point in telling her that she had great friends, that he was here, or that people looked to her for help. It wasn’t what she had meant and he knew it. The truth sucked but she needed to hear it from someone other than herself.
Kira cried harder and blubbered about liking her privacy, loving the shop, and admitted that most of the time being alone was really nice. She didn’t have to answer to anyone, had no one that would be hurt if something was to happen to her and she pretty much liked who she was despite her minor flaws.
“Trust me to take care of you, little flower, and I will,” Rock said.
“I know, Master.” Kira sighed as her sobs faded and she was just left with hiccups. She had called him Master because he deserved it. He had certainly earned it by forcing her to let go and cry without placing her in physical pain.
“Your clothes are on your bed and we need to get going,” Rock said as he helped Kira climb from his lap.
Kira nodded her head and went into her room. She realized that the last of her frustrations weren’t out. She jumped on her bed and punched her pillows several times then picked up one and slammed it on the bed until her arms hurt. She buried her face into the pillow and screamed.
Rock leaned against the door frame to Kira’s room and watched as she killed her pillows and then tortured the last one by screaming at it. He found himself smiling at her. She definitely needed to add some technique to her style of punches. She looked like a puppet swinging her arms in wild fury.
Kira got off her bed and saw Rock wearing an amused expression.
“I had no idea that your pillows are also a source of frustration,” Rock commented. “Perhaps we need to delve into the reason you have an aversion to foam.”
Kira giggled and felt her eyes scrunch from the crying she had done. She sighed and started to get dressed. She felt much better. So much better. Thanks to the nasty Master that stood watching her get dressed. Asking for privacy would make no difference. He would watch if he wanted to and go if he wanted to.
Kira sighed in relief when she heard him start her truck and back it out of the garage. She put on the outfit, a pair of skinny jeans, sensible black boots, and a dark green velvet top. Very Christmas. Kira smiled as she adjusted her silver necklace and went to the bathroom to try to undo or cover-up the damage she had done while crying out all of her insecurities.
Rock was standing outside of the driver side door when Kira came outside. He opened the door for her and then climbed in as passenger. “You drive there. I drive home.”
“Okay,” Kira said, smiling at him. He had once again called it home. She really liked that. Too much. It was nice to hear. She ignored the little voice in the back of her head that told her it was only temporary.
* * * *
“Pull up in front,” Rock said as they approached the airport.
Kira was completely confused. She didn’t want any stranger in her truck. She didn’t have any clients coming over during Christmas. She certainly didn’t want any strangers coming for Christmas. She frowned at Rock but did as he asked.
“At some point you are going to have to surrender everything to me,” Rock said as he noticed her frown.
Kira knew that he needed her to trust him. It helped him open up. It helped his heart. She was the one that could do it. She could make him love again. She just needed to give him all of her.
“I do,” Kira said, defending herself.
“You don’t trust that I have your best interests in mind,” Rock said. “Do you think I am driving all this way for myself?”
“I didn’t want to come here,” Kira said.
“I didn’t either Kira.”
“This is for me?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t feel like this is for me,” Kira huffed.
“Surrender then,” Rock said firmly. “Trust me to know what you want. Trust me to know what you need.”
“I do,” Kira repeated.
“Obviously not,” Rock said. He grabbed Kira’s chin forcing her to look in his eyes. “I will expect you to come to me for comfort as well. You should have come to me earlier. I don’t want to clean up messes. I want to hit the problem head-on, as it happens.”
“Yes, Master,” Kira whispered.
“Even if your problem is me,” Rock said. “Come to me. Share with me. Find comfort in me. Cry on me. Lean on me.”
“Yes, Master,” Kira whispered as she felt the ache in her heart. He was so kind to her, even when he was being a nasty Master.
“Little flower, put the truck in park and prepare yourself,” Rock said as his cell phone buzzed. “I give you a very amazing Christmas gift that just couldn’t be wrapped.”
A screaming, smiling, laughing dark-skinned woman came out of the airport terminal and Kira recognized Carmen immediately. Kira threw open the door of the truck and ran to Carmen screaming, smiling and laughing right along with her. The two were hugging and jumping around in a circle.
Rock apologized to a couple that was
walking in and held up his hand to the TSA agent that had started to walk in their direction. Rock finally managed to push the girls to the truck and pointed to the back seat. There was no way he was letting either one of the babbling women up front with him. The quad cab afforded him that minor luxury.
Rock pulled out of the terminal, and at the stop sign Carmen leaned forward into the front seat. “Look at me.”
Rock leveled his most intense stare at her. He didn’t like being told what to do and he certainly wasn’t about to be told what to do by a sassy sub. No matter if she was Kira’s friend or not.
Carmen slammed her ass back down in her seat and buckled in. Kira giggled at her reaction.
“Are you satisfied?” Rock asked. He looked at Carmen in the rearview mirror as he started to drive again.
Carmen nodded her head.
“What?” Rock asked.
“Yes, sir,” Carmen said. She shot a glance at Kira.
Kira reached over and grabbed her friend’s hand, smiling in understanding.
“Explain what that was all about,” Rock said. His tone had softened.
“I wanted to see your eyes,” Carmen explained. “Kira’s been talking about your eyes. You should know that she has an eye fetish. Plus I needed to see if you had the edge that my friend needs. I thought that by being demanding you would show it. You did.”
Rock laughed and Kira laughed as well. Even Carmen smiled and giggled a little.
“You are forgiven,” Rock said.
Carmen smiled shyly and nodded her head. Then she turned her full attention to Kira and started in on all of her questions. Kira told Carmen about the trip to Walmart and the way the women had sneered at her.
Rock attempted to tune out the conversation but like most subs they both knew that keeping secrets from a Dom was never a good idea so instead they talked like he wasn’t in the vehicle. That way they were withholding nothing and if he missed a crucial tidbit of information it was his fault, not theirs. Smart little subbies.
Rock learned that they had met in college in Texas. After graduation they had moved to Tampa while Carmen had finished her degree and Kira had started her store. Rock learned that Kira had named her store the Caged Kitty and the website could be found online.
Kira had moved around the country after that, meeting clients, helping private and public clubs get started but Carmen had stayed in Tampa. Carmen was a Psychiatrist that had a rare specialty. She counseled only agoraphobics. It made sense that she worked mostly from her laptop and cellphone. No agoraphobic wanted to go outside of the house. Carmen had clients all over the country. She was well known for not necessarily curing the disease but helping her clients find services and cope with their fear when it threatened them.
Carmen turned to Kira and grabbed both of her hands. “So, Kira, I think I have a better understanding of why you like cages and why you don’t like it when random people get inside your bubble.”
Kira rolled her eyes.
“Don’t do that,” Carmen said. “This is serious.”
Kira looked at Carmen. Carmen was always trying to analyze why Kira was the way that she was. Why she liked things to be just how they were. Why she was attracted to certain types of men. Why she didn’t like pain.
“Remember when we talked about my flaws?” Carmen asked. “You said I fell in love with everyone. I do. I love being in love. It’s an addiction, with many horrifying side effects. But after you pointed it out I tried to cope. To deal with the addiction. It has gotten better because of you. I realize it now so I deal with it and fight it.”
“And you want to help me, too,” Kira huffed.
“Just hear me out,” Carmen said.
“Master?” Kira asked.
“Little flower,” Rock said.
“Carmen is going to tell me what’s wrong with me,” Kira said smiling at Carmen but not really wanting to hear all of her problems and how to work through them.
“I’m all ears,” Rock said as he looked in the rearview mirror catching a glimpse of his adorable, nervous little sub.
“Well here goes nothing,” Carmen said.
Chapter 9
“How old were you when you were dropped off with Karl?” Carmen asked.
“He said I was a little over a year old,” Kira replied.
“You were dropped off and she never came back,” Carmen said. “So if she never came back I have reason to believe that she never bonded with you, rarely held you, and never comforted you while you were a baby.”
“So?”
“So”—Carmen paused dramatically—”you learned that you didn’t need touch. You actually didn’t like touch as you got older. No one touched you. I know Karl hugged you and you liked it but you don’t like people invading your space or hovering around you and let’s face it, Karl wasn’t really the hugging cuddling type.”
“Okay,” Kira said, nodding her head slowly. “I get that part.”
“I’ll come back to that part in a second because there is more to that than you think,” Carmen said. “The cages. You love them. I love them, but they aren’t a security blanket for me like they are for you. This has to do with touch and I think being locked away in a crib.”
“A crib?” Kira asked.
“You probably weren’t watched much.” Carmen shook her head. “You were probably just stuck away, in your crib, and you may have found comfort in that. It may also be comforting that once you are in your cage you can shut out the world. Nothing can hurt you.”
“Fine,” Kira said. “I’ll give you that, too.”
“So then touch, especially a firm touch, you find that to be painful,” Carmen said.
Kira nodded her head in complete agreement with that assessment.
“Well there,” Carmen said, pleased with herself. “That is my assessment of the cage and pain. It’s probably also why you have those dreams.”
Carmen glanced at Rock.
“He’s heard them,” Kira said blushing.
“Are they still happening about twice a week?” Carmen asked.
“Yeah,” Kira admitted. She glanced at Rock who was wearing an amused look on his face. “But he’s also messed with me while I’ve been sleeping so that’s not helped.”
“I enjoy watching you come, little flower,” Rock said softly. Kira’s shy smile pleased him. He had to focus on the road and ignore the stiffening erection in his pants. All she had to do was look at him and he grew hard.
Kira leaned toward Carmen. “What about not being able to cry?”
“Damn girl, I can’t fix all your problems in one day.” Carmen laughed. “I have no idea why you have such problems crying and letting out your emotions.”
“It probably falls in the same lines as the bonding,” Rock said softly. He’d had two kids and knew the importance of bonding with children. He loved his boys deeply. As babies they had been helpless, completely dependent upon him for everything. Then they had grown up and formed their own opinions about everything, including his lifestyle, and they no longer depended on him.
“Well, share the Dom knowledge,” Carmen prodded and then added. “Please? Sir?”
Rock twitched his lip at Carmen calling him Sir. “I have two boys, and when they are infants they need things. The natural instinct of an infant is to cry when it needs something. Diaper changed, gas pains, hungry, cuddled, talked to, the list is endless but is still a need that a baby has. It’s the parent’s job to find the need and satisfy it.”
“Much like a Dom’s,” Carmen said.
“Or a Master’s,” Rock said and glanced in the rearview mirror. When Kira blushed he was pleased with her response. He caught her gaze in the mirror and winked at her.
“I think,” Rock said slowly, wanting not to sound stupid or be rude. “If as an infant those needs weren’t met by crying she could have abandoned the crying because being a quiet baby probably got her rewarded more than crying. A crying baby gets left with someone else. A quiet baby may have had more time with
its mom.”
“And where did you get your degree?” Carmen asked Rock.
“College of Hard Knocks in Rough Life,” Rock replied. “My master’s degree came from the University of Learn as You Go and I graduated Magna Cum Laude from the most prestigious of them all, the School of Oh Fuck and Tough Shit.”
Both Kira and Carmen burst out laughing.
“I will be paying off student loans for the next ten years, spent twelve years in universities and all I had to do was be a Dominant to achieve the same measure of experience and knowledge.” Carmen laughed. “Where did I go wrong?”
Kira laughed with Carmen and then heard Rock’s voice over the laughter.
“I didn’t notice a problem with crying.” Rock’s voice was gentle but firm.
Kira gulped, knowing that he wanted an answer.
“The first time I cried,” Kira said and then corrected herself. “The first time I remember crying was when grandpa called and told me that he was dying.”
“She kind of freaked out actually,” Carmen said. “She was hurting, clutching her chest, and wanted to know why she was dying, too. It was actually a little bit scary. I explained that it was a normal response to a tragic or painful event. She had seemed very confused by that at the time. I explained that it could also happen other times, like laughing so hard you cry, being confused, overwhelmed, and other things. She didn’t understand and explained that she hadn’t cried before.”
“I’d come close,” Kira admitted. “My throat swelled, eyes watered and my nose ran but I’d never cried.”
“Has she cried lately?” Carmen asked.
“Just this morning,” Rock said. “And a couple weeks ago, in the shower.”
“You had the paddle,” Kira said.
“He used a paddle on you?” Carmen asked.
Kira shook her head and shuddered at the thought of being hit with anything.
“He just held it in his hand and that was enough to send me over the edge and let it all out. I didn’t want to come to Minot, I was thinking of grandpa, I felt alone, he told me the truth. Then he held me, too.”
