by Joanne Fluke
Maura felt a tug of sympathy. David looked so sad. “Your poor mother. Was she terribly upset by his death?”
“She didn’t know.” David frowned slightly. “You see, she died two years ago. But before she went, she made me promise to come out here and see Uncle Grant.”
Jan reached out to take David’s hand. She seemed to know what was coming.
“I was all tied up with school, and I just didn’t get around to it. You know how it is. I thought I had plenty of time to come out here and get to know him.”
“But time ran out.” Jan’s voice was soft. “And now you feel as if you’ve let her down?”
David nodded. “That’s right. And that’s why I want to know everything about him. It’s too late to meet him, but I’ll feel better if I know what kind of person he was.”
Maura nodded. “I understand, David. And I’ll tell you what I can. Your uncle was a very good accountant, one of the best. He had an excellent reputation, and a list of important clients. But Jan knows more than I do . . . right, Jan?”
“Yes. Absolutely.” Jan took up the story. “Grant was a bachelor, but you probably already know that. And he was great with kids. He always had something in his desk for me whenever Mom had to go to his office. I remember asking him once why he never got married and had children.”
“What did he say?” David smiled slightly.
“He said he’d have to find a woman who was in favor of bigamy because he was already married . . . to his work.”
“That’s great!” David laughed. “I’m glad he had a sense of humor. So did Mom. What else?”
“He said that he was crazy about other people’s children because you could send them home to their parents if they gave you any problems.”
“I guess that’s true.” David grinned, and then he turned to Maura. “What else do you remember about him?”
“Well . . . I met him at a party. It was at my brother-in-law’s house. Steve’s a doctor and Grant was his patient.”
“Uncle Grant was sick?” David looked concerned.
“No, he wasn’t.” Jan stepped in again. “He came in for tests. He really thought he had a serious medical problem. And when the tests came back negative, he was so relieved that he took my uncle Steve out to lunch.”
“What else?”
David turned to Maura again, but Jan stepped in. “Your uncle was very handsome and women used to throw themselves at him all the time. But when they mentioned marriage, he knew it was time to call it off. He always used to say that he was waiting for me to grow up so he could marry me.”
Maura looked shocked. Was that true? Had Grant really been interested in her daughter? But Jan was laughing as she continued the story.
“Of course it was just a joke. We all knew that. But some of Grant’s dates were sadly lacking in the humor department. I think he used it as sort of a test to see which ones would get bent out of shape.”
“I’m not sure it was a fair test.” David raised his eyebrows. “I bet you were a knockout at ten.”
Jan giggled. “Oh, sure! I was skinny and I had braces on my teeth. And that was before I got my contacts, so I wore these impossibly thick glasses. Any woman who was jealous of me wasn’t playing with a full deck!”
“Not necessarily.” David was still grinning. “Let me see a picture of you back then. I’ll be the judge.”
“No way! Besides . . . I don’t think we have any pictures. Isn’t that right, Mom?”
“I . . . I don’t know.” Maura began to feel uncomfortable. The one thing she hadn’t done yet was to go through the old photograph albums. And with David here, this wasn’t really the time.
But David didn’t look convinced. “I’m sure you have pictures. Let’s get them out and take a look.”
“Oh . . . all right.” Jan tried to give an exasperated sigh, but she ended up laughing. “I guess it would be all right. What do you say, Mom?”
Maura nodded. What else could she do? And then she stood up. “Go ahead. But I really have some things to do, so if you’ll excuse me . . . ?”
“Don’t leave, Mrs. Thomas.” David reached out to take her arm. “Jan and I were just kidding around. We don’t have to look at pictures right now, if you don’t want to. I’d really rather talk to you. You’re a . . . well . . . you’re a fascinating puzzle to me.”
Maura frowned slightly. “But . . . why?”
“Maybe I’m getting in deep here, but I’ve always been the outspoken type.” David gave her an engaging grin. “It’s your interaction with Jan. You two have been doing it ever since I got here. I’m trying not to be too nosy, but I don’t understand. I ask you a question and Jan jumps in to answer. It’s almost if she’s afraid you’ll say the wrong thing.”
Maura exchanged looks with Jan. David was right. But before either one of them could think up an explanation, he shook his head.
“It’s the strangest thing. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that Jan was the mother and you’re the child she’s trying to protect. I’ve got a really strong feeling there’s something about you Jan doesn’t want me to know.”
“Don’t be silly, David.” Jan tried to smile, but her face was red. “You’re just . . . uh . . . imagining things, that’s all.”
David didn’t look convinced as he turned to Maura. “Is that true, Mrs. Thomas?”
Maura was about to say it was, when she reconsidered. Did it really matter if David knew she’d lost her memory in the car accident that had killed his uncle? Jan liked David. That much was clear. And if she began dating him, their secret was bound to come out.
“You’re not imagining anything, David.” Maura sat down, again. “Jan is protecting me, and I think it’s about time we told you why.”
* * *
“I had no idea!” David looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Thomas. I never would have asked all those questions if I’d known. It certainly wasn’t my intention to pry into family matters.”
Jan nodded. “We know that, David. But Mom made the decision to tell you, so now it’s all out in the open. Maybe you didn’t notice, but I was shocked when Mom told you how she met Grant. She remembered! And that’s a real breakthrough, right, Mom?”
“Not really, honey.” Maura sighed. “Steve told me about that party. I’m sorry if I got your hopes up, but I was just telling David what Steve told me.”
“Then you don’t remember?”
Jan looked disappointed, and David slipped his arm around her shoulders. “Hey, Jan . . . give it time. Memory’s not something you can rush. And now that I know about the problem, maybe I can help. How about it, Mrs. Thomas? Let’s get out those old photograph albums and see if something comes back.”
“Well . . . all right.” Maura smiled at him. David really was a nice man. “But if we find any really bad photographs, please don’t tell me if they’re me.”
* * *
David had left after they’d finished going through the third album of photographs, but he’d promised to meet them for tennis in the morning. Jan had said she wasn’t sleepy, so they’d carried the old albums up to Maura’s room and spread them out on the bed.
“Look at this one, Mom.” Jan stretched out on her stomach, a pillow propped up under her arms. “Do you know who this is?”
“I hope not.” Maura’s eyes widened as she stared down at a photograph of a woman with her hair teased out so far from her head, she looked as if she were wearing a fuzzy basketball for a hat. “I refuse to believe it, honey. That simply can’t be me!”
“Relax, Mom . . . it’s not. It’s your college roommate, Rachel.”
“Thank God!” Maura breathed a sigh of relief. “But who’s this mousy-looking girl with the horrible shapeless dress and braids?”
“That’s you!” Jan laughed so hard, tears rolled down her cheeks.
Maura shook her head. “You’ve got to be wrong. It may look like me, but I’d never wear a bedspread with little elephants printed all over it!”
“It’s a granny dress, Mom.” Jan was still laughing. “They were the rage back then.”
“Back when? When was this picture taken?”
“Your junior year in college. You told me that you were into macrobiotics and megavitamins. You wouldn’t eat anything except brown rice and organically grown vegetables.”
“It’s a wonder I didn’t starve!” Maura gave the picture one last look, and reached out to flip the page. But what she saw on the next page made her mouth drop open in astonishment. The handsome man from her dreams was staring back at her, a slight smile on his face!
Maura swallowed hard. She was almost afraid to ask. “Is this your . . . father?”
“No. It’s just someone you met in college. I don’t remember his name. I think you said he was a visiting professor or something like that.”
Maura tried to keep perfectly calm, as she asked the question. “Think hard, Jan. Did I ever tell you his name was Nick?”
“Nick?” Jan frowned. “No, I don’t think that’s it. Let’s take his picture out and see if anything’s written on the back.”
Maura clasped her hands to keep them from trembling as Jan slipped out the picture and turned it over. But the back was perfectly blank.
“Sorry, Mom.” Jan slipped the picture back into its sleeve. “I just wish I could remember what you . . .”
“Jan? What is it?” Maura watched as Jan began to frown. “Did you remember something?”
Jan sighed, and gave a little shrug. “Not really. There was something about his name, though . . . something weird. When I looked at his picture, I had a mental image of a bottle of Coke.”
“Coke?” Maura looked puzzled. “But why?”
“I was probably trying to associate his name with an object. I was really into stuff like that for a while. You know . . . if a guy’s name was Matt Greenfield, you were supposed to think of an exercise mat stretched out on a field of green grass.”
“A bottle of Coke . . .” Maura thought hard. “Are you sure it was coke?”
“Positive. I saw the shape of the bottle. It’s very distinctive. But I think there was a blue and white label on it, the kind they put on for generic products. That could mean his name was soft drink, or soda, or . . .”
“Cola!” Maura clapped her hands together. “Think about it, Jan. Someone named Nick might also be called Cola. Both names are short for Nicolas.”
Jan nodded as she stared down at picture. She was obviously intrigued. “Cola does sound right. But who is he? He must be important. You remembered his name.”
“I . . . don’t know.” Maura sighed. She wasn’t about to tell Jan about strange dreams, not until she knew if they were real or fantasy. “Perhaps I’ll remember more about him if I relax and give it some time.”
“Good idea, Mom.” Jan smiled her approval and flipped the page. But just then the doorbell rang, startling both of them.
“It’s after nine.” Maura looked puzzled as she glanced at the clock. “Who could it be this time of night?”
“I bet it’s Nita.” Jan laughed as she hopped off the bed. “She went out to walk Cappy, and she probably forgot her keys. I’ll go let her in, Mom.”
The moment Jan was gone, Maura flipped back to Nick’s picture. She definitely knew him. Just looking at his picture set her emotions in a turmoil. There was a burst of happiness when she first saw his smiling face, and she could almost feel the texture of his hair, and the warmth of his skin. At the same moment, her heart felt heavy with sadness, and tears of grief threatened to spill from her eyes to run down her checks. Somehow she knew that he was no longer alive. It wasn’t the dream about his funeral that made her come to this unhappy conclusion. It was the hollowness she felt inside when she looked at his face.
Maura closed the album with a sigh. There was enough sadness in her life without inviting more. Then she glanced at the clock again. Jan had been gone for at least ten minutes, and she could hear her talking to someone in the entryway.
“Mom?” Jan called out from the foot of the stairs. “You’d better come down. There’s someone from your past that I know you’ll want to meet.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Maura could see him as she came down the stairs. The young man standing next to Jan was tall and thin, with sandy-colored hair worn slightly long in the back. He looked very determined, and he was dressed in a uniform of some kind. A policemen? Someone from the armed forces?
Jan and the visitor were so engrossed in their own conversation, they didn’t look up as Maura paused on the stairs, searching her memory and trying to place the young man. It was no use. He was a complete stranger to her. Of course Jan had been a stranger, too, when Maura had first seen her in the hospital. And so had Keith, and Nita, and Steve. This could be someone she’d known well in what she’d begun to think of as her former life. It was silly to hesitate here on the stairs when the answer was only a few feet away. Jan knew her problem, and Maura was sure that she’d figure out some way of reintroducing her to the young man.
“Hello.” Maura smiled, and extended her hand. The young man took it, and shook it formally. And then he smiled.
“Hello, Mrs. Thomas.” The smile changed the complete look of his face. He was suddenly very handsome and his deep brown eyes crinkled with warmth. “You look a lot better than you did in the hospital. Of course you probably don’t remember me, right?”
“Yes, I mean, no . . . I’m sorry, but I don’t remember you.” Maura frowned slightly, and picked up on the cue he’d given her. “You came to visit when I was in the hospital?”
The young man nodded. “I drove straight there, and I waited until I was sure you were going to make it. They hadn’t contacted your family yet, and I didn’t think you should be alone.”
“Thank you. That was very kind.”
“It was the least I could do. I dropped by a couple of times after that, but you were still in a coma. That’s why you don’t remember me.”
“That’s only part of it!” Maura gave a little laugh. She hadn’t really discussed her memory loss with anyone other than family, but something about the young man’s smile invited confidence. “Did I know you before the accident?”
“Not unless you happened to be looking out the rearview mirror. I’m Hank Jensen, and the limo I was driving was the first car on the scene.”
“I’m glad to meet you, Hank.” Maura smiled again. “And thank you for calling the ambulance. You probably saved my life.”
“It wasn’t me, ma’am. I don’t have a telephone up front. One of my passengers called.”
“Oh. I see.” Maura was impressed with his honesty. He could easily have claimed credit for the call. “Well . . . thank you anyway. If you hadn’t been driving behind me, I might have lost more than my memory.”
Hank nodded, and then he looked uncomfortable. “I guess I shouldn’t have come here, but I called the hospital and they told me you’d gone home. And I thought you might want to know what happened that night . . . especially since your friend was . . .”
“Killed.” Maura supplied the word he seemed to have difficulty saying. “That was very thoughtful of you, Hank. I don’t remember the accident at all.”
“Nothing?”
“Absolutely nothing.” Maura sighed. “Let’s all go into the living room where we can be more comfortable and you can tell me about it.”
They were just settling down on the couch when Nita came in the door with Cappy. The moment she took off his leash, he raced for Maura, but he stopped short as she held up her hand.
“Cappy? Sit!”
Cappy looked at her for a second and he sat down promptly, staring up at her with his tail thumping.
“Good boy!” Maura reached out to scratch his ears. “Now let’s see if you remember this one. Cappy? Down!”
Cappy stared at her again, for a split second. And then he promptly sank down at her feet.
“Good boy!” Maura laughed and scratched him behind the ears again.
“T
hat’s fantastic, Mrs. Thomas!” Hank was clearly impressed. “Have you taught him anything else?”
“Not yet, but I will. We’re working on ‘Stay’ tomorrow. And he’s doing just fine on a leash.”
“That’s because you’re so good with him.” Hank smiled at Cappy and reached out to pet him. “Did you ever train dogs professionally?”
Maura glanced at Jan who gave her a slight nod. Maura knew what the nod meant. It was up to her to take Hank into her confidence. “I could have trained dogs, Hank. I really don’t know. You see, I seem to have lost total memory of the last twenty-three years of my life.”
“No kidding!” Hank looked every bit as shocked as he sounded. “I don’t know what to say, Mrs. Thomas . . . except I’m really sorry. It must be hell, trying to pull your life back, if you know what I mean.”
“Not exactly.” Maura smiled at him. The concept was intriguing. “What do you mean exactly?”
“Well . . . it’d probably be a lot easier if you could just start over, fresh. But you can’t because of your family. It’s almost like going off to camp with a suitcase your mother packed for your twin brother.”
“What?!” Jan started to laugh. “Explain that, Hank.”
“That’s easy. Just picture yourself at Camp Win-nemaka, opening your suitcase. Everything fits. You and your brother were the same size. But they’re not your clothes, and you feel strange wearing them. Unfortunately, they’re all you have, so you’re stuck.” Hank turned Maura with a smile. “Just like you’re stuck with the baggage of your former life. It’s somebody else’s baggage. You don’t remember the reasons why you did what you did back then, but you have to carry on with what that other Mrs. Thomas started.”
Jan gasped and turned to Hank in surprise. “That’s brilliant! And you’re absolutely right. I never thought of it before, but Mom’s living someone else’s life, desperately attempting to make it her own. She’s wearing someone else’s clothes, doing someone else’s job, living in someone else’s house, with someone else’s family. And we’re all expecting her to turn into that someone else, that other Mrs. Thomas she doesn’t even remember.”
