by Nicole Locke
Caird gestured at the men outside the closed gate. ‘What happens here?’
‘I’ve been waiting,’ Bram said.
‘All this time?’ Caird asked, incredulously.
‘Aye, our brother has turned as weak as a Buchanan.’
They all turned at the voice.
Malcolm approached, his eyes not hiding his contempt for Mairead.
Bram scowled. ‘It is not weakness, but tactics.’
Malcolm shrugged. ‘Starving a woman, and her annoying siblings, is hardly a battle worthy of the Colquhoun Clan.’
‘You lay siege here?’ Caird looked aghast at his brother. ‘Against children?’
Caird didn’t know what to expect as he approached the Ferguson keep. Gates closed and soldiers idle certainly wasn’t one of them. He even spotted Colquhoun’s best craftsmen here playing dice. Now this? Bram was the better natured of the siblings, quicker to laugh than his sister. He was here to make amends to the Fergusson Clan, not torture them.
‘Tactics, not a siege.’ Bram’s eyes darted to the keep before returning to Caird’s. ‘And not only children. There is a woman.’
Caird looked pointedly at the partially wooden keep. As he stared, a lean figure emerged at the top of the gates.
The distance wasn’t far. With shorn hair and wearing a tunic and leggings, the person should have been a young man. But the wind left no doubt a woman stood there.
‘That lass bars you?’ Caird asked.
Bram quickly swung around and became almost deathly still. The camp stilled, too. ‘We will come to an understanding soon,’ Bram whispered, his eyes never leaving the woman’s.
Caird watched Bram’s assessment change, his demeanour switch from congenial to predatory. He had seen his brother like this when he hunted bigger game. Only then did Bram become silent...and deadly.
But it was clear the woman was no prey. Her shoulders were back and her eyes bore down on them. They both held themselves like two hunters waiting to strike.
‘I allow this respite, for now.’ Bram’s eyes never left the woman’s, as if they silently communicated. ‘I’ll not have more reason for her...them...to hate me.’
The figure descended as quietly as she had come and the camp exhaled a collective breath.
‘Perhaps, but vexing all the same.’ Malcolm turned to address Caird. ‘You have arrived, but it has been longer than a fortnight.’
‘How went the celebrations?’ Caird asked.
‘You were not there, and I was amply occupied,’ Malcolm said, shrugging. ‘John and...’ Malcolm’s eyes darted to Mairead ‘...the groom won most everything. How did you fair?’
‘We still have it,’ Caird said.
Malcolm’s eyes changed. ‘It wasn’t returned to her brother? How surprising.’
‘What is this you speak of?’ Bram asked.
Caird was surprised. ‘You have not told him?’
‘I did not know which tale to tell,’ Malcolm said calmly.
Caird ignored Malcolm and turned to Bram. ‘I have private news only for my brothers’ ears.’
‘There is nowhere for my men to go. I’m afraid this is it for privacy,’ Bram answered.
Caird knew this was not nearly private enough, but his brother was entrenched. He could delay no longer. ‘I have the—’
‘Wait,’ Malcolm interrupted. ‘You tell this in front of her?’ He nodded in Mairead’s direction.
‘Aye,’ Caird replied.
Malcolm’s demeanour blackened as he addressed Bram. ‘I want it noted, my laird, I protest this tale told in front of her.’
Caird didn’t know how Bram was reacting to this conversation, but he didn’t have time to mend Malcolm’s feelings. ‘She has my trust,’ Caird announced.
‘So be it.’ Bram’s eyes travelled from Malcolm to Caird. ‘I want this tale told.’
‘It is neither tale nor legend,’ Caird replied, and then he spoke of the jewel. Malcolm remained silent, as did Bram. Surprisingly, so did Mairead.
As he listened, Bram’s expression changed, and when Caird finished, Bram only replied, ‘So close.’ But he said it softly, almost to himself.
The siege and unrest were now apparent on Bram’s face, the jewel’s responsibility seemingly ageing him between breaths.
Giving his brother time to assess, Caird looked around them. Everything appeared the same, but he knew everything had changed for Bram and his clan.
When Caird made the gesture to open the pouch at his waist, Bram stilled his hand. ‘Nae, not here. In fact, I doona want to see it.’
Mairead had been silent as Caird told his version of their journey. He left out many details, but never, she was beginning to understand, the important ones.
Yet now, Bram didn’t even want to see the jewel?
‘Why?’ Mairead asked before she could check her response. They had risked their lives. The least he could do was look at it. ‘You have to see it!’
Bram looked to Caird. ‘Impulsive female.’
Caird nodded.
‘But yours,’ Bram said.
‘Aye,’ Caird answered.
‘What?’ Mairead blurted out.
‘Never!’ Malcolm said, his casual stance gone. Incredulity and anger tightened his body. ‘She’s a Buchanan!’
Bram stilled and turned to her.
Reeling from Caird’s declaration, Mairead braced herself. Bram was laird. He could make decisions regarding her life. ‘I am Mairead, of Clan Buchanan,’ she said, hoping her voice could be heard above the roaring in her ears.
Had Caird just declared to his brother they were betrothed? They had only talked of caring and trust. Was he now proposing marriage? His family hadn’t accepted her!
His expression inscrutable, his gaze swinging from Caird to Malcolm, Bram replied, ‘I see.’
Mairead glanced at Caird, who watched his brother. Mairead didn’t need to turn to see Malcolm. She could feel the sharp look he placed between her shoulders.
‘And you’re here now, with these matters,’ Bram said.
The laird made decisions, but he didn’t know everything. ‘Aye, but reluctantly,’ she answered.
‘Nae doubt,’ Bram agreed as he glanced at Caird. ‘But on everything?’
Blushing, Mairead glanced to the gates. The woman had returned. Mairead felt as if she was intently listening to this conversation. She hoped she couldn’t hear her humiliation.
‘Nae,’ she answered. ‘Not reluctant on everything.’
‘I didn’t think so.’ Bram turned to Malcolm. ‘She is Buchanan, but she risked much with Caird. Some debts can be forgiven.’
‘Do you expect me to accept?’ Malcolm asked.
She didn’t understand any of this, but she knew by being here she brought discord to this family. She was making a mistake, just as she feared. She couldn’t do it.
‘There’s nothing to accept,’ Mairead said. ‘We brought this jewel here for the laird to decide. I can return to my home. Any debt to me for my troubles was already made in payment to my clan.’
There, she had said it and she did it without her voice breaking.
Caird made a gruff sound next to her and she glanced at him. Was amusement in his eyes?
‘There, now!’ she gestured towards the arrogant man. ‘Caird doesn’t deny the deal we made. I’ll be gone soon, just as I tried to be weeks ago!’
Bram made a sound, too, and it sounded like a swallowed chuckle. ‘Nae,’ he said finally.
‘Nae?’ she questioned, irritated. ‘You cannot deny payment. I earned it. Since it’s already in Buchanan hands, I’d like to see you try to get it back!’
‘Nae, Buchanan, you keep your payment. Your story tells of much valour, honour and bravery.’ Bram’s eyes soften
ed. ‘Such a journey also tells of my brother’s desire to marry you.’
‘Nae!’ Malcolm cried.
‘What?’ Mairead gasped at the same time. ‘We do what?’
Caird turned to her. ‘We marry.’
‘I agree,’ Bram said, patting Caird’s shoulder. ‘Soon. Today.’
‘How could you?’ Malcolm moved in front of Mairead and closer to Bram. ‘You cannot wish this!’
‘About this marriage?’ Bram said. ‘Or our sister’s? It has taught our clan much.’ He glanced to the closed gates and to the woman watching. His frown increased. ‘And keeps on teaching us,’ he said slowly.
‘You compare Gaira’s marriage to this?’ Malcolm paled, his scar standing in stark relief. ‘Knowing I still haven’t accepted hers?’
‘As laird, I order it.’ Bram’s face became forbidding. ‘You must remember this.’
Malcolm’s eyes went cold. ‘I remember...everything!’
Bram reached for Malcolm’s shoulder, but he shrugged off the comforting hand.
‘Wait!’ Mairead cried out. ‘I doona understand this.’
‘You won’t until you are married,’ Bram said.
‘I trust her,’ Caird said, his voice rough; he didn’t like this edict.
‘But it is not our tale to tell,’ Bram said. ‘I’ll have them sisters first.’
Bram stepped towards Malcolm. ‘You need time, Brother. So it is you who will be taking the jewel to where it belongs.’
Caird shifted and Bram’s eyes went to him. ‘Do you have objections?’
Caird’s eyes lingered on Mairead. She couldn’t comprehend everything he was silently asking her, but she did understand most. He worried for his brother, and worried for her. But would he let the jewel go after all they did to secure it?
Caird released her eyes and looked to Bram. ‘Malcolm should have it. He should find where it belongs.’
Her jaw dropped, just as Malcolm’s defeat quickly turned to derision.
‘There is nowhere it goes then,’ Malcolm answered. ‘It is homeless, just as I am.’
Bram made a sound deep in his chest. ‘You are not without a home.’
‘Nae?’ Rigidity returned to Malcolm’s shoulders. ‘You say this as you send me on a fool’s errand to remove me from this clan.’
‘It’s not like that,’ Bram said. ‘Later, we will talk of the jewel.’
‘It’s exactly like that.’ Malcolm stepped back. ‘Despite this talk, I will choose what to do with the jewel.’ Not waiting for approval, Malcolm turned to leave.
‘Malcolm!’ Mairead called, not knowing what she wanted to say.
He stopped and looked over his shoulder.
Mairead felt helpless again. She could sense Malcolm’s pain and it hurt. But she couldn’t apologise because she didn’t know what to apologise for. But she wanted to say...do...something.
Malcolm glared at Caird. ‘You didn’t tell her?’
Caird gave a quick shake of his head.
‘Your adherence to rules, and promises, and vows,’ Malcolm sneered. ‘Well, know I’m about to break every one of them. Tell her!’ He gestured to Mairead, but didn’t look at her. ‘Tell her every blood-ridden drop of it.’
When Malcolm turned to leave again, they let their brother go.
* * *
Seeming to get his emotions under control, Bram addressed them. ‘I will go after him,’ Bram said. ‘But I have more to say.’
Mairead waited for the truth to finally come out, for some sense of reality.
Bram clasped his hands behind his back. ‘My stay here may be extended.’
Caird shifted. ‘You already appointed me in your absence.’
‘Aye. But negotiations have taken longer than expected.’ Bram shrugged. ‘The hunting is good here though.’
Bram’s favourite pastime was hunting, as was all varied and leisure activities. Here, there were only responsibilities. The skills his brother did have, his renowned diplomacy and profit-making abilities, were clearly scorned by the keep’s mistress and villagers. Bram belonged on Colquhoun land.
‘You are my older brother and Laird of Clan Colquhoun,’ Caird insisted. ‘It’s not like you to remain idle for this long.’
‘Not idle. You’d be pleased to know, I’ve been gathering answers. This clan has been much abused. I could not force myself on them again.’
‘Your diplomacy has not worked here though; they bar you.’
‘Aye, but not for long. Negotiations are about to change.’ Bram looked to the keep.
Caird recognised his brother’s resolved tone. He’d argue no longer.
‘I will leave you to talk now.’ Bram lips curved. ‘Just stay far away from the keep’s walls.’
When Bram left, Mairead knew the world was different. She just didn’t understand to what extent.
‘What is the meaning of all this?’ she said. ‘I doona ken. I cannot marry you. Your clan will never accept me.’
‘My clan just did,’ he said. ‘They will accept Bram’s word and they will accept mine. It’s those secrets, Mairead. You will know them now.’
‘What of the jewel? Why did you let it go?’ she asked, too flustered to disagree with the other part.
His brows drawn, his eyes questioning. As if he wanted to say something and then thought better of it.
‘I only ever wanted the jewel for Malcolm. To never have a repeat of Dunbar. He is owed the right to have it. Bram and he will talk and they will find its true path.’
‘It didn’t look like they would talk.’
His lip curled. ‘They will talk. Whether Malcolm will listen, or whether Bram will finally reveal why he denied his brothers’ fighting in Dunbar, I doona know.’
‘You won’t have your answers.’
‘Not for now,’ he said. ‘But as always, my brothers will have my loyalty.’
Rules, adherence. For loyalty to his clan, he would let the jewel go. But that still didn’t explain why he looked to her when he did it.
‘You look doubtful,’ he added. ‘The jewel has been dangerous for us. It has repeatedly threatened your life. Can you think of nae other reason why I’d willingly let it go?’
Had he thought she’d protest? She had only ever wanted the dagger.
‘You sent the dagger to my clan,’ she said. ‘But I doona know if it is enough, or if the laird will allow them to stay.’
He tilted his head. ‘I sent a letter with the dagger giving them sanctuary on Colquhoun land. I also sent a letter to Colquhoun elders to send a chest of silver to your laird. One or the other will be there before the English.’
She’d forgotten how rich the Colquhouns were. But still it was a debt she couldn’t repay, and her clan... ‘You’d allow the Buchanan laird to claim both?’
‘I requested the chest to be used first, and that we would expect the dagger when we return.’
‘Return?’
‘Aye, in the letter I explained much, Mairead. They know you are safe, that they are safe as well.’
She blinked, breathed in deeply and took some steps, but she couldn’t pace. They were alone, but not far away were men and soldiers. She had to stay and face Caird.
‘What of Malcolm?’ She locked her knees and tried to still the tiny trembles in her body.
‘Why are you questioning?’ he asked.
Her throat suddenly dry, she licked her lips. He was taking away all her arguments against him, until she was only left with accepting him. Could she?
‘Mairead, you are throwing questions, like obstacles, at me. Why now?’
She feared she felt something more than trust and care with Caird. She couldn’t have something more. Especially now, when she knew she couldn’t stay with him. After everything he had
risked for his brother, she wouldn’t come between them.
‘I won’t come between brothers,’ Mairead said.
Caird looked over her shoulder. ‘We all have our own paths, our own purpose in this. Malcolm must have his own.’ His all-too-knowing eyes returned to hers. ‘This cannot be why you question me.’
‘I’m Buchanan,’ she said. She did, indeed, feel like she was throwing obstacles against him.
‘It couldn’t be more wondrous,’ he said. ‘Lying, taunting, beckoning and deceiving me since that night at the inn. But all of it, all you have done was with purpose.’ He took a step towards her. ‘Now, I want that purpose to be with me.’
‘Did Gaira marry a Buchanan? Is that why nae one will say his name, and why you are so certain in this?’
He gave a curt shake of his head. ‘You won’t get that secret so easily. But know that Gaira’s marriage is...complicated.’ He gave her a knowing look. ‘And I believe I’m finding out that marrying a Buchanan will produce its own demands.’
She swallowed. ‘Do I have nae say in this?’
‘You always did.’
Oh, those beautiful grey eyes storming with green. They were beautiful, but there were dark shadows beneath them and his cheeks were hollowed from the lack of food. They’d had little rest since he’d tended her. Yet, he was giving her a choice. How much it probably pained the arrogant Colquhoun to concede anything.
And how much she loved that he conceded to her. Loved. Now she realised why she threw obstacles at him. Because she’d made another mistake.
She loved him.
She must. But loving him, staying with him, would mean another mistake. She’d only hurt him. Anguish, shame and guilt lashed at her. She hadn’t the strength for anger.
So the words that needed to be said couldn’t be simply thrown at him. They had to be wrenched from her, like that knife she’d buried inside her.
‘How can I do it?’ she whispered.
Caird held still, but she knew he felt her words.
‘Mairead?’ he asked, not saying anything more, but not needing to.
She blinked away the threatening tears. She wanted—needed—to see him clearly. He had to know; he had to realise.
‘I make mistakes. I make them constantly. Impulsively. With Ailbert, with everything. I doona trust myself; I never have! So how could I with you?’
