“They’re great, thanks.”
“No problem.” Her eyes were still bright with laughter—she nearly peed herself when she heard my embarrassing story with Grey. “Well, that’s what you get for making me clean up your puke.” She had said.
I apologized profusely, again, feeling like a total tool for throwing up all over myself and her bathroom. Like a nube who couldn’t hold her alcohol. She just chuckled. “It happens to the best of us.” She insisted.
When we came back out of her bedroom, the guys were doing some rails. I declined regrettably; Charlie had forbidden me from taking anything until I’d had something to eat. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I had sat down to a meal or even a snack. It was definitely before the night we’d gone clubbing. And that was at least two days ago.
“What are you doing?” Zack asked, pinching his nose and sniffing as he watched Charlie move around the kitchen.
“Making Mackenzie something to eat … she hasn’t eaten in like, three days.”
“What are you, anorexic?” He wondered.
“Not on purpose.” I handed Grey back his sweater. I made Charlie sniff it, and then re-sniff it, just to make sure it didn’t smell like vomit. She gave it the green light, but insisted on spritzing it lightly with some perfume before giving it back to him. She had sprayed some of the same on me as well.
I sat down on the couch and lit a smoke. I couldn’t believe what had happened and I really didn’t know how to behave around Grey now … now that’d he’d seen basically everything. And really hadn’t seemed to mind. I reminded myself that it didn’t mean anything. Of course Grey hadn’t minded, what heterosexual guy would object to seeing a half-naked chick? He was just in it for fun. He was just in it for fun. I had to keep running the sentence over in my head. I wouldn’t be the stupid, naïve seventeen year old again. I could be mature like them. I could keep my cool. I could have fun and make out with a boy without forming any kind of attachment.
Yeah right.
I knew I didn’t have a hope. I knew I would be passionately in love with Grey, no matter what I told myself. He could yell at me and call me names and spit on me and kick me in the street and I would still love him. He just had that hold on me. Like Riley said … he had a “power” over me. It was true.
I watched Grey from the couch … watched the way he moved, the way he chased a rail, the way he smiled and laughed and adjusted the hat on his head. I sighed and wished fleetingly that he could feel more for me than just a passing interest. Wished he would look at me as more than someone to fool around with. But I also knew it didn’t matter, not now. I would be whatever Grey would let me be.
As if he could hear my thoughts, when they were done, Grey sauntered over and joined me on the couch. His smile made me nearly melt to the cushions. Before I could react to him, Charlie came and handed me a plate of leftover pizza, steaming hot. I thanked her, but looked at the food before me feebly. I just wasn’t hungry.
“Eat.” She commanded, her hands on her hips. I nodded and took a bite off the end—it really didn’t taste that bad but I could tell it came from work. She stayed until I had swallowed, and then apparently satisfied, went to join Zack and Alex in the kitchen. They were putting together a game of quarters.
“So, how does someone accidentally become an anorexic?” Grey wondered. He leaned forward, a beer in his hand, his face tilted towards me. I laughed and shrugged. Discreetly, I set the pizza down on the side table next to us, hoping Charlie wouldn’t see.
“I don’t know … I’ve just been, preoccupied I guess.”
“Too preoccupied to eat? You’re not sad again, are you? I thought we cured you of that.”
“Oh, you did.” I lit a cigarette and settled back comfortably. “I’m just not hungry.”
“So, what happened with Riley? You two work it out?”
“Um ….” I frowned. “I don’t know, I guess you could say that. We decided … no, I guess I decided that we shouldn’t really be friends right now ….”
“Oh yeah? Because he’s leaving?” Grey took a swig of his beer, his blue eyes totally innocent. I stared at him a moment, trying to make sense of his sentence.
“Because he’s leaving …. Riley’s leaving?” I tried to quell the panic rising in my chest. I wouldn’t freak out until I knew what Grey was talking about.
“Yeah, I guess so. He came in today and gave his two-weeks notice. I guess right after graduation he’s going out east with some chick to check out some college or something. I think that’s what he said, maybe got some of it wrong, but I do know that he’s leaving. I thought he would have told you.”
“Yeah. That would have been nice.” I raised my eyebrows in disbelief and looked at the popcorn-stuccoed ceiling. Riley was leaving me, for good. We had grown apart—rapidly, too rapidly to make any sense. We had agreed not to be friends. And now he was leaving me. With the Christian.
This was worse, worse than anything before it. Even though we had agreed to go our separate ways, I still knew Riley was around, I still knew that ultimately if I needed him, he would be there for me. And vice versa. It went without saying; it didn’t need to be spoken. But how could that be if he wasn’t here? When was he going to tell me they were leaving? Was he going to tell me?
I realized I wasn’t going to get any answers tonight, and I wouldn’t get any answers from anyone but Riley himself. I let out a sigh and buried my head in my hands.
“I’m sorry. I thought you knew.” Grey said.
“No, no. It’s not your fault.” I straightened up and smiled weakly at him. “Just another result of me and Riley’s basic dysfunction.”
“Well, since he’s quit, I’ll probably be moving to nights. So we’ll get to work together more, anyway.” He shrugged and smiled. I thought about that a moment and felt a grin spread over my face. If anything could make this better, it was that fact.
“Come on, let me cheer you up.” Grey motioned to the kitchen with his hand. He grinned wickedly. I laughed.
“I’m not allowed. Not until I’ve eaten.”
“I can fix that for you.” He leaned over me and took my pizza slice, now cold, and then folded it into his mouth in one bite. I laughed and watched him chew for a minute.
“Wow, that’s impressive.” I giggled. He mumbled something incoherently, holding up his hand for me to wait until he had swallowed. He was trying not to laugh.
“Okay.” He swallowed again. “Okay. Pizza’s all gone. You’re allowed now.”
“Wow, you did that for me? How gallant.”
Grey chuckled. “Ready?” He held out his hand.
Of course I was. “Ready.”
CHAPTER 17
“If Grey doesn’t love you after tonight …,” Charlie looked at me again, smiling in satisfaction. “Then there is something wrong with that boy.”
“He’s just in this for fun, Charlie. Remember?” I took a drag of my smoke and blew it out, staring at my reflection. We were in Charlie’s bedroom, where she had dressed and made me up, yet again. It looked like she was improving with practice, the woman staring at me in the mirror was … hot, vivacious … stunning.
A short, sleek, long sleeved black dress hugged my frame, low-cut enough to make me a little uncomfortable, though Charlie promised results. My hair was in loose, glossy dark curls that tumbled around my shoulders and down my back, kept from my face by a thin silver headband. My make-up was phenomenal—dark, smoky eyes and almost startling red, full, pouty lips that looked like they didn’t belong to my face. I wore black leather boots—high heeled with a pointy toe, which curved around my calves most becomingly.
I had to hand it to Charlie. I looked unbelievable, especially given that we hadn’t really slept yet from the night before. I think I napped maybe an hour or two on the couch sometime earlier in the day … it was more of a slip into unconsciousness that I couldn’t really remember. Most of it had been a happy blur of drinking and cocaine and Grey, Grey, Grey ….
We
had just hung out, all night. Like friends. There’d been no more touching or kissing or making out, but the tension was still there, like there was a possibility for more. I’d wanted there to be more, had thought about nearly nothing else, but had totally loved the time with him anyway. He was so much fun to be around, so easy for me to talk to. I couldn’t remember what topics we had covered or the funny things he had said. I could just picture us together on the ratty old couch, my mouth spread into a permanent grin as we laughed and talked and just … were.
The guys had left earlier that afternoon to get ready for their show. They were playing at the Aurora again, like the night I first met Grey … that fateful night not even two months ago that had ended up changing my entire life. It felt like ages and ages ago … like a totally different time. Back then, Riley and I were friends, best friends. Before Grey and I were … were what? Having fun?
“Wow, Charlie. You’re amazing. Seriously. You have a beauty career ahead of you.” I smiled thankfully at my friend. Charlie bowed. She looked gorgeous like usual—her shiny blonde hair was pulled into a loose pompadour, her dazzling blue top brought out the striking blue of her eyes. It didn’t seem to matter how good I looked. Next to Charlie, I would always come second.
I didn’t want to mind though. I didn’t want to be so pettily jealous, not when Charlie was so amazingly nice to me and leant me all her clothes and took care of me the way she did. Not when—for some reason—she actually liked hanging out with me, a high school kid who wasn’t even legal enough to get into bars.
“You look gorgeous.” I forced myself to compliment her. “Seriously.”
“Thanks, kid.” She stuck her tongue out at me with a smile for my response to the word kid. “So, what should we do tonight?”
“Um ….” I laughed. “I thought we were going to see the guys play.”
“Not that, idiot. I mean, what should we do? What are you in the mood for?”
“Oh.” I laughed again. I was still pretty drunk and high from our non-stop day of partying. But I was up for anything. “What are you thinking?”
“I don’t know … I have some E lying around … we could do some blow …,” she shrugged. “Whatever you feel like.”
“You just have E lying around? Like all the time?”
“Not all the time. Sometimes.”
“Really? I could hit some of that.” It would really be like old times then. The first time I tried E was when we went to watch Grey’s band.
“Okay.” Charlie sat on her bed and rummaged around in the bedside drawer. She pulled out another tin and opened it up, revealing a bunch of different coloured pills.
“For us, tonight … how about some Pink Dinosaur?” She picked out a pink one and handed it to me. Sure enough, there was a little dinosaur face stamped into it. I giggled.
“You too?”
“Yeah. Why not.” Charlie took one for herself and placed the lid back on the tin. “Trust me, you’ll like this one.”
“I like them all.” I admitted. We took turns sipping from a glass of water on her nightstand. The pill slid down my throat with ease. I smiled excitedly. Now all we had to do was wait for the fun to begin.
“Okay, hottie.” Charlie slammed the cup down enthusiastically. “Let’s go!”
“Are you okay to drive?” I wondered, laughing as we grabbed our purses.
“Who knows? Whoooo!” She threw her head back in laughter. “We’d better hurry, we want to get there before this hits and I really can’t drive.”
That seemed logical enough to me. We did one last mirror check and then headed out, bounding down her old squeaky steps, young and eager. The engine of her car roared to life, Slipknot blared over the speakers. We rolled the windows down and lit a smoke. The warm summer wind blew over us as Charlie gunned her little car down the streets, the headlights bouncing over the road. She looked at me and laughed; I smiled at her and threw my head back.
“Whhhooooo!” I yelled, my eyes shut. There was truly nothing better than the freedom I felt, the absolute release. Life was perfect. Charlie’s smile told me she agreed.
By the time we made it to the club, the ecstasy was already taking hold. We stumbled from Charlie’s car into the parking lot, giggling and smoking. She fixed a few stray curls for me; I adjusted her top a little.
“We’re perfect. Let’s go. Those boys will eat their hearts out.” She decided.
I smiled at the thought and fell into step beside her. I felt shaky good, like a surge of adrenaline, only the adrenaline was pure excitement and joy. I grinned the entire way to the door, totally unsurprised when we were let past the rope again without having to show our I.D or having to wait at all. These new friends of mine had some good connections.
“Thanks Billy.” Charlie waved at the bouncer. We were inside. And it was packed, just as it had been the first time. The stage was empty and dark, we were early.
“Come on, I told Zack to save us a table.” Charlie grasped my hand. “Follow me.” She started through the crowd, squeezing and elbowing her way through. There was barely room to move. The Aurora hadn’t changed since last I came, still the same old carpeted walls and neon beer signs. It looked especially dated now that I’d been to the other club in the city. I decided I liked it though. It was kind of cozy, like it had a Cheers feel to it almost.
I noticed as we walked that men were nearly snapping their necks to look at Charlie when she passed by them. I tried not to pay attention to it, but then one of them caught my eye. He was looking at me, not at Charlie, and nodding, like he liked what he saw. To my surprise, I realized that men were actually looking at me. Well, at least some of them were. I was amazed. I’d never had that happen before, I’d never had that reaction before, not so obviously anyway. I felt great when we finally made it to our table, like a million bucks.
“Did you see all those guys checking you out?” I asked Charlie as we slid onto the tall black stools around the high round table. I lit a smoke and bit my lip.
“Me? Nice try. They were looking at you and you know it.” She lit a smoke as well and looked out over the crowd. It was so loud we almost had to yell to be heard, but that was okay with me. I liked the atmosphere, the loud, rowdy partying that went on around us. Music pumped from the dance floor, some Britney Spears number. I smiled and took a drag of my smoke.
“What time are they supposed to play?” I wondered.
“Eleven.” Charlie yelled. She looked at her silver Guess watch. “Ten minutes.”
“I’m so excited!” I almost squealed. She laughed.
“I know, I know!”
“They’re so good, you know? Like, amazing. Have they been together long?”
“A few years. I’ve only been on the scene for like a year, more of a groupie until just recently.” She admitted.
“Until Zack?”
“Yeah, about then. We’ve liked each other for a long time; we just haven’t done anything about it until now.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Guys can be dicks.” She shrugged. “Especially when they have a ton of chicks all over them all the time. Makes it hard for them to commit.”
“Do you think that’s Grey’s problem?” I worried suddenly. The thought hadn’t occurred to me until right then, but it was a definite possibility. “Has he ever had … anyone …?”
Charlie looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, but then shook her head. “I don’t know, Mackenzie. I’m trying to figure it out myself. I’ve only been around for a year or so, like I said, but in that entire time, I’ve never seen Grey with anyone. I mean, he’s the lead singer of a band, so of course he’s with girls, you know, but he’s never been with anybody. He’s never had a girlfriend that I know of … I just, I don’t get it.”
“What don’t you get?” I leaned forward to hear her better.
“Grey just seems so into you. I don’t know. I wouldn’t believe his whole ‘just for fun’ thing. I’ve seen how he acts with girls that are ‘just for fun
’.”
“And?”
“And …,” she shrugged. “It’s obvious. He doesn’t sit on the couch with those girls for hours, hanging on their every word ….”
“Like he did with me?”
“Yeah. Don’t buy it Mackenzie. He cares more for you than that, I can tell.”
“You can?”
“Yes. And you deserve more than that too. Don’t forget.”
“Charlie?”
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
Charlie burst out laughing. She smiled at me and stamped her smoke out.
“Sounds like someone’s feeling the E.”
I nodded enthusiastically. “I am. I am. Aren’t you?”
She laughed again. “Yes.” We giggled.
“But I still love you, you know.”
“Yeah, I know.”
The music shut off suddenly, and still grinning, Charlie and I turned expectantly towards the stage. We could just make out the shapes of people walking around in the dim light up there. The crowd started cheering and shouting, even before the lights came up and the band was illuminated on stage. Once that happened they went crazy, the noise was deafening. I smiled, happy that Serpentine was so popular. That had to feel good, to have people screaming for you. I wondered what was going through Grey’s mind at that moment.
I recognized them all now; it was different than the first time. Alex on drums, Lucas on bass, Zack on guitar and Jimmy on keys. I let my eyes pass over them; there was really only one man I wanted to see. I needed to see. He was standing in the front center of the stage with his back to the audience. I watched him, enraptured. The band started playing, the guitars chugging the intro of the song, Zack and Lucas flanking either side of the stage. Grey stood between them, still backwards, his guitar hanging lazily from its strap. Then the music got louder, more intense, and just before it reached the crescendo Grey turned, gripped the microphone stand, and screamed into it.
The moment he started singing the crowd erupted into near mayhem. My breath caught in my throat. The sight of him up there in the spotlight, the dark blue jeans that hugged his thigh as he tapped his leg to the beat, the studded belt around his hips, the black Tool t-shirt that hugged his torso and showed off the smooth muscular biceps of his darkly tanned arms …. I felt my heart swell until it felt like bursting. I put my hand to my chest and just stared. I loved Grey, more than anybody else ever could. I loved him more than I thought I loved him before. He was perfect, in every way. He was meant for me in every way. His voice was smooth but raspy, thick and raw, silky but edged with a growl. It reminded me of copper, somehow, but that didn’t make any sense. He sang and looked out over the crowd and shook his head back and forth in time. He held his guitar loosely slung across his hips, resting on his spread out legs. His fingers danced across the fret board with skill, his studded leather bracelets flashed in the stage lights. The cherry red electric guitar responded eagerly to his capable hands, resounding with the chugging wails and intricate notes that Grey’s fingers demanded of it. A sexy smirk flitted across his lips.
Life of the Party Page 12
