Charlie was packing up her things as I went back to thank her. She grinned at me.
“No problem Mac. I owe you that much, for being such a jerk to you for so long.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I brushed it off. “I totally understand.”
She smiled at me and looked down at her watch. “Well, Grey’s going to be here soon. I’m going to go out, give you guys the place to yourselves. I think Courtney and I might swing by Jack’s again, should I get some more … stuff … for you?”
“Mmm, yes, please.” I found my purse and dug through it, pulling out almost the last of my tip money from the week. “Here. But you don’t have to leave just because Grey’s coming over.”
“Yes. I do.” She took my cash and gathered her things. “Have fun tonight.”
“Thank you.” I gave her a quick hug. “And tell Courtney hi.”
Charlie nodded on her way out the door. I heard her limber footsteps trailing off down the old wooden stairs, and then she was gone.
I had nothing to do then but wait. I lit a smoke and sat down gingerly on the couch, careful not to muss anything. I was itching a bit as the heroin slowly faded from my system, but it was bearable. Secretly I hoped that Grey was bringing some China White with him, thinking that surely, this was as special an occasion as any. I still cringed at just the thought of using a needle—though shooting up was faster and more satisfying, seemingly snorting lasted longer.
My heart jumped when finally I heard the crunch of car tires pulling up into the drive. I flicked the TV off and hurried to the front door. Grey was getting out of Zack’s car, saying his goodbyes. I couldn’t see much more than his outline. My breath hung in the cool fall air, panting; excited as I raced down the front steps. The car was still backing out of the driveway by the time I was in Grey’s arms again, crushing him close to me, a wide, glorious smile upon my lips.
Grey chuckled. “Hey.” His arms were warm around me, hugging me to him, nestling his face against my neck. His stubble tickled my skin.
“I’m so happy you’re back!” I squeezed. I didn’t want to let him go, not even just to get inside. He pulled away from me and his blue eyes were warm, shining with happiness. A smirk curved his lips.
“It’s good to be back.” He admitted. I knew what he was really trying to say. With a happy giggle, I took his hand in mine and led him up the steps.
“What are the guys up to?” I wondered idly, though I didn’t really care what they were doing. I was just thankful to have Grey all to myself.
“They’re just going to head home and unpack and stuff. They figured we’d want to have some … time, to ourselves.”
“Well, they figured right.” I smiled slyly and opened up the door for us. Grey set down his bag and took off his heavy coat and shoes. I stood just inside the entry, waiting for him, my pulse racing with anticipation, my flesh nearly aching to touch him, to have him close to me, to feel his body against mine and his lips on my skin again. If it were possible, he had grown more gorgeous in just the week we’d been apart. His dark hair was in its usual perma-mess—I couldn’t wait to run my fingers through it—and his cheeks were darkened with stubble. His skin was still dark and tan though summer was long over; it intensified the brilliant blue of his eyes as they finally rested on me—smouldering, cloudy already with the charge of sheer lust that thickened the air.
His eyes raked me over, up and down, so slowly that I nearly couldn’t bear it. With agonizing exaggeration, he crossed over to me. All was silent but the sound of my breathing, fast and shallow. Grey rested his hands on my waist, holding them there until I could feel the heat through my sweater. I traced my hands slowly up his arms, thick with muscle, and then down his chest … feeling every contour of his definition beneath my fingertips. I met his eyes—hazy, eager. Without another word he grasped me to him, up in his arms, and then carried me down the hall to my bedroom.
“I love your hair. Have I ever told you that?” Grey wondered, his fingers trailing through my dark silky tresses. It felt amazing, sending shivers up my spine. I smiled.
“No, you haven’t.”
“Hmm. I guess there’s a lot I haven’t told you.”
“Is there?”
He shrugged. “It’s not all easy for me to say.” He brought a handful of my hair to his nose and breathed deeply. “You smell so good.”
“That’s a new one, too.” I smiled at him, sprawled upon my stomach on the bed, half-covered by blankets. He was curled up next to me, tracing his fingers down my naked back and arms. It was so serene, such a wonderful, happy moment. I sighed contentedly.
“The first time we met, at the club, I saw you first.” Grey admitted then. “And then when I saw Riley, it was the perfect excuse to come over.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. And the whole time I told myself, ‘Grey, don’t do it. Don’t do it Grey.’ But … I couldn’t stop. You just … you stood out.”
“I did?”
“Yeah.”
I shook my head, fondly remembering that first night. “I think I fell in love with you the moment I saw you on that stage.” I giggled. “I felt like an idiot all night, trailing you around like a lost puppy.”
“Nah. You were cute.” He chuckled. I made a face at the word.
He smirked. “You were adorable.”
I slapped him playfully. Grey grinned, seeming to remember something.
“Kiddo.”
“Don’t call me that!” I twisted around and tried unsuccessfully to wrestle him down against the bed. His hands wrapped around my arms like a vice and pinned me back down, his blue eyes laughing. I giggled as we play fought until unwittingly, mid-wrestle, Grey grasped me by the elbow.
“Ow!” Abruptly I cried out, all trace of humour gone. He stopped immediately, regretful as he looked down at my arm.
“Oh, sorry.” He frowned down at the yellowish-purple bruise staining my forearm, the bruise he had just accidentally grasped. His brow furrowed. “What happened here?”
“Oh,” I struggled a moment, trying to decide how to tell him. I chose to play it casual; shrugging like it was no big deal. “I took Charlie out the other night, you know, to cheer her up about Zack, but they didn’t have any of the China White stuff, like you had, so we shot up instead.”
I watched as Grey took in all this information. His eyes narrowed; his dark brow creasing. “Okay, wait a minute. You went out the other night, to get heroin?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I wanted to cheer Charlie up.”
He considered this a moment. “Where did you go?”
“I don’t know. We went with Charlie’s friend Courtney, maybe you know her, she works at the Aurora. Anyway, we went to this Jack guy’s house ….”
“Stop.” Grey’s face was suddenly hard, his body tense. He glared at me intensely. “Jack? As in, Jack Turcotte?”
“I don’t know his last name.” Instinctively I cringed back from Grey’s heated stare. I had a distinct feeling that I was in trouble. Big trouble.
“Big guy? Blonde?”
I nodded.
“Fuck. Are you serious? Oh my ….” Grey cursed. He dropped his head into his hands and shook it back and forth in vexation. His entire form was rigid. I sat up in the bed, pulling the blankets over myself and watching him anxiously.
“What is it?” I wondered, biting my lip. “What’s the matter?”
“You went to Jack’s house, alone?”
“No, not alone. I was with Courtney and Charlie.”
At this Grey scoffed, rolling his eyes—but I continued, stupidly, wanting to be honest with him. “I didn’t really want to shoot up, I was scared of the needle, but then Jack did it for me. I think I bruised because I was trying to pull away from him.”
Grey just stared at me a moment, his expression blank. The only thing that gave away the true fury of his anger was the clenching of his jaw, the hardness of his eyes as they bored into me.
“You mean Jack Turcotte did that to y
ou?” He pointed accusingly at the bruise on my arm. “Even though you didn’t want to? He forced you?”
“No, well, yeah,” I wasn’t sure what to say, what might incur more anger, “but, I mean, I wanted to get high … I was just being a chicken about the needle ….”
Grey was silent a long moment. His breath escaped in a long, drawn out sigh, and his hands clenched into fists. “I’m going over there.”
“What?” I got up on my knees. “Why?”
“To kick that guy’s ass!” Agitated, Grey stood up and started dressing, hastily throwing on his boxers and searching for the rest of his clothes among the piles of dirty laundry that inhabited my floor.
“No, no, Grey don’t.” I blanched at the thought. “It’s no big deal. He’s not worth it.”
“Really?” Grey spat. “Do you have any idea what could have happened to you over there?”
I shook my head, my dark eyes wide.
“Ugh. I don’t even want to tell you. I don’t even want to picture it.”
I gulped. “That bad?”
“Yes, that bad.” Grey glared at me again, like I wasn’t taking him seriously enough. “You are never to go over there again. Promise me!”
“I promise.” I answered quickly.
“If you want more heroin, you ask me, you get it from me and you do it with me. Okay? You don’t know how easy it is to … all it takes is some fuckup trying to be funny ….” He trailed off, closing his eyes, his entire countenance tense with anger. “You know what guys like that … do you know what they do to girls when they’re … like that? Do you?”
I shook my head again. The thought honestly hadn’t even occurred to me, and I wasn’t even a hundred percent sure just what he was referring to. Something bad enough to make him react this way.
“I’m sorry, Grey.” I stammered shakily, alarmed by this new information. “Please don’t go. It’s my fault. I didn’t know.”
He stared hard at me a moment, his shirt in his hands.
“Of course you didn’t know.” He sighed. He ran a hand through his dark hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out. It just … it makes me crazy to think of someone … taking advantage of you. I mean ….” He looked up at me again, and there was some warmth back in his blue eyes. “You’re so ….”
“Stupid?” I offered. I felt like a total idiot.
“No … no. You’re innocent.” He shrugged. “Trusting.”
“Like … naïve.”
“No. Well … maybe. But I like it, the way you are. I don’t even really know how to describe it … kind of … the opposite of jaded. Just … fresh.” He shook his head. “You don’t belong in the drug world, Mackenzie. You’re too … pure.”
I frowned. Pure wasn’t that far off from kiddo. “Grey, I belong in whatever world you’re in.”
“No.” He shook his head. “You don’t.”
“Yes I do.” I sat up and grasped his hand, pulling him back to the bed. “I love this world. I love every part of it.”
“That doesn’t mean you belong.”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.” It annoyed me when he talked this way, like he wasn’t good enough for me … like what we had wasn’t right. It was ridiculous. He was my dream come true. Before he could even think to continue, I stopped him with a wicked smile.
“You think I’m pure, Grey? I’ll show you pure.”
This time, when I pushed him down against the bed, he didn’t resist me.
It was later … much, much later when, wrapped up in the blankets beneath a haze of smoke, we heard Charlie return. Secretly, I was relieved. I knew she’d been at Jack’s house and given what I knew about the man now, I couldn’t help but worry for her. It wasn’t enough for me to tell Grey about it though, as horrible as that was … I couldn’t stand the thought of him going over there and getting in a fight. Not that I doubted Grey, I was certain he could take Jack. But how would he fare against Jack and all the other sweaty, shifty eyed men that also resided there? I knew it wouldn’t be a fair fight. And I didn’t want Grey getting on the wrong side of such dangerous people. Not for me.
Charlie’s arrival had also given me an idea. I knew what she now had in her possession, something I was suddenly desperate to do. I didn’t know how to broach the topic with Grey though; I wasn’t sure how he’d react. I propped myself up on my elbow and looked at him as sweetly as I could.
“Grey?”
“Hmm …?” he opened one eye quizzically, a smile upon his lips.
“I was just wondering … I mean, do you think that ….” I hesitated, biting my lip. “… would this be considered a special occasion? Your homecoming?”
He knew instantly what I was referring to, but Grey shook his head, seemingly amused by my question. “I think it’s pretty special.”
“Me too.” I cleared my throat. “But that wasn’t really … what I was getting at.”
“Oh, really? What were you getting at?” He teased.
I rolled my eyes at him. He was going to make me say it, I could tell. “Well, I know Charlie picked up some … stuff, and I was wondering if we could do some.”
“Hmm.” Grey paused thoughtfully. His blue eyes opened eagerly. “Yeah, I think that’d be okay.”
“I’ll go get it.” I offered excitedly, sitting up in the bed and searching for my clothes.
“Mackenzie?”
“Yeah?”
“That’s not really necessary.”
“What isn’t?”
“You getting dressed.” His eyes, lazy and shining blue, raked up my naked form.
“But … I thought you said ….”
“I know. I’ve got some in my bag.” Grey chuckled sheepishly. “Apparently, you weren’t the only one who couldn’t hold out.”
“Oh.” I grinned. “Anything to keep me naked, huh?”
“Hell yeah.” He laughed.
Excitement raced down my spine. I had to stifle my glee. “Do you have the sniffing kind?” I wondered hopefully. Grey shook his head.
“No. It’s the needle kind. Is that enough to deter you?”
“No.” I answered quickly. “I mean, not if you’ll do it for me. Will you?”
Grey grinned. “Of course.”
“Okay.”
He grabbed the stuff and heated us up a batch, taking some supplies from his suitcase and mixing it all in one of my spoons. I watched him, my hands sweating in anticipation, knowing that in only moments I would be free as a bird, riding a wave of sheer bliss that would crest and crash down on me. I couldn’t wait.
“Mackenzie.”
“Yes?” I lifted my eyes from Grey’s hands and met his sober gaze.
“Do you remember me telling you how addictive this stuff can be?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “But I thought we decided this was a special occasion.”
“We did. It is.” He smiled. “But do you think that you could … not do this with anybody else? Even Charlie? I mean, unless I’m around?”
“How come?” I wondered lightly.
“I don’t know. This stuff’s so volatile. I just … it would make me feel better if I knew … when you were doing it … and how much you were doing, you know?” He shook his head. “I know I sound like an asshole. But it would keep me from worrying.”
I grinned. His concern touched me. “You don’t sound like an asshole, Grey. Besides, as much as I can help it, I’m going to be with you anyway.” I leaned over and kissed his shoulder, smiling up at him. “So it shouldn’t be a problem.”
“That sounds good to me.” He smirked and kissed me softly on the lips. “Thanks.”
He turned then to fill the syringe with the dark, tar coloured drugs.
“Okay. Make a fist.” He instructed. I did as I was told, holding out my arm to him and tightening my muscles. Slowly the veins in my arm stood out, not as much as with the elastic, but enough to make it work. Even knowing how good the heroin would feel, I couldn’t help but cower at the sight of the needle in h
is capable hand.
“Its okay, Mackenzie.” Grey’s voice was low and melodic, soothing. I kept my gaze on his, refusing to look down. “You’ll barely notice.”
Even so, I shut my eyes. Slowly and gently, he grasped my arm in his warm hands. I held my breath. I felt a tiny prick, the slightest of pinches in my elbow pit.
“It’s in. Look, Mackenzie. Watch this.”
The power Grey had over me was phenomenal. I actually opened my eyes and stared down at the needle breaking through my skin, the sharp steel cold against my flesh. I watched as Grey retracted the plunger, as my blood filled the syringe, mixing with the heroin, bright red blood dancing with the dark drugs, curling and twisting around each other. I was still staring, transfixed, as Grey shot the drugs straight into my veins.
It was even better than I remembered, even better than even hours before. I gasped shakily as it took me, the sheer pleasure rocketing through my body until I couldn’t take it anymore, and slackened back against the bed with the most sincere of smiles spread wide across my face. I still don’t know how to properly describe it. On the movie Trainspotting, Renton says, “Take the best orgasm you ever had, multiply it by a thousand and you’re still nowhere near it.”
He was right. That kind of pleasure isn’t something one can just imagine or compare it to. Unless you’ve done heroin, there’s no way you can know how good it feels. There aren’t words to describe the bliss, the euphoria, the utter … nothingness.
Grey shot up beside me but I was barely aware of it. He fell back against the bed, his face deep with pleasure, close enough to mine that I could stare right into it. His beautiful, gorgeous, perfect face. For me, it didn’t get any better than that. Life was perfect. Everything I could ever ask for. Everything I’d been searching for.
I smiled as the waves crashed over me.
Life of the Party Page 38
