“I will return, Katherine. I assure you,” Lord Garret said, his gaze serious.
“Very well,” Katherine replied, looking down at her plate and realising that she still had not touched a thing.
It was not the first time that Katherine would lose her appetite that day. She was unable to touch another meal as she thought of how Lord Garret was leaving that very night. While she sat in her room before supper, Katherine looked down and to the right, where she could see a carriage waiting to take Lord Garret to London. She didn’t have the heart to say goodbye, nor did she wish to do so with the rest of the family there. She would not be able to prevent herself from diving into Lord Garret’s arms. Instead, she sat in her room and waited until she watched the carriage ride away into the distance.
Once seated at dinner, Katherine found that she had recovered the strength to smile and perhaps to eat. Realisation washed over her that, with Lord Garret gone, she could clear her mind and focus once again on the children. Routine would be her medicine.
There was no way that she could count on Lord Garret being around all the time. There was no chance that she could hope they might have something of a life together. Katherine was going to put all of that behind her and focus on the future. It was the only way that she was going to move forward.
Still, memories of the special night that they had shared lingered in Katherine’s mind. Whenever the erotic images and sensations of she and Lord Garret together returned to her imagination, Katherine found that she was utterly transported. As they sat at the dinner table, with the children and the duke talking and carrying on, Katherine was in a kind of trance.
That night, the only way that she knew to clear her mind momentarily of Lord Garret was to write, once more, to her mother.
Mum,
I look forward to seeing you and papa soon. Sunday roast is fast upon us, and I think that it was so kind of the duke to let me go. I must admit that I am melancholy today, for the duke’s brother has returned to London. I was in the middle of teaching him Italian and was having such fun. I hope that he will return soon.
Will be seeing you shortly,
Katherine
Katherine knew not why she admitted to her mother that Lord Garret’s departure made her melancholy. In fact, melancholy was a remarkable understatement.
***
As Lord Garret sat in the carriage en route to London, his heart was breaking. He didn’t wish to leave Katherine. In fact, it was the last thing in the world that he wanted, but anger dictated it. Lord Garret assumed that his brother, by returning to Bonhomie, was asserting his will. It must have made the duke uncomfortable that Lord Garret and Katherine were spending time alone, and for that reason, he chose to return. It filled Lord Garret with unspeakable rage that his brother had done such a thing.
If the duke wished to assert his will then Lord Garret would assert his own will. He would go to London and focus on business affairs; not business that would bolster the Easterly dukedom, but rather boost his own coffers. Lord Garret didn’t wish to work tirelessly for the family name any longer. He longed for independence, a home of his own, and he had to admit, he wanted Katherine by his side.
If that brief time together had taught Lord Garret one thing, it was that he truly did want his own estate and a wife by his side. There was no other person in the world that he wished to take as a wife other than Katherine Chance. The intimacy that they had shared was like nothing that Lord Garret had ever experienced before. The feeling of her body in his hands, being as close as human mortals could possibly be, had changed Lord Garret’s perspective on the world. For too long he had sat in his brother’s wake. That would no longer be the case.
In order to bring this new dream to life, Lord Garret had to leave Bonhomie immediately. The return of the duke was like a horrible reality that came crashing into his dream. The pain of it was too great and so Lord Garret fled.
The time in London was instantly fruitful. Lord Garret focused on one thing and one thing alone; business. If he could build his own life and fortune, he would be a free man. It no longer troubled him if the duke brought Bonhomie down onto its knees with his negligence. Lord Garret had his own life to suss out, and he very much hoped that Katherine would be a part of it.
As the weeks passed, thoughts of her always lingered in his mind. Walking about London, Lord Garret thought of things that he wished to show her, discussions he could have with her, and activities that they might partake in. It was as though Katherine were in London with him whilst he was there. When the longing to see her became too great, as well as missing his niece and nephew, Lord Garret finally decided to return to Bonhomie. He had been away too long.
Another reason for his return was that the anger had abated. Lord Garret was naturally still furious with his brother, but he was willing to put all of that aside in order to see Katherine and the children. What’s more, with his new focus in life, Lord Garret felt more empowered and free than he had in some time.
Brother,
Affairs in London have been fruitful and I think the time is ripe to return to Bonhomie. Please inform the servants that I shall arrive next Saturday morning.
Garret
It was a terse note, but it conveyed all that Lord Garret wished to express to the duke. There had been no other correspondence between them in the time that Lord Garret had been away. The distance had been healing, in Lord Garret’s estimation.
The notion came to him that, in finally asserting himself over his own livelihood, it might indeed strengthen the bond between he and his brother. For so long, so much tension had derived from the fact that Lord Garret felt as though he were in his brother’s shadow. And even worse, that his brother did not deserve the title that he had been given. All of those wounds could be healed if Lord Garret established a life of his own.
And with Katherine. If she will have me.
Returning to Hedge-Grove Downs, Lord Garret felt a lightness in his chest. The anticipation and excitement at seeing Katherine filled him with unspeakable joy. What would she look like? What would be the expression on her face? Was she happy?
Pulling up to Bonhomie on that Saturday morning, the servants were assembled outside and the children came out as well. There was still no sign of Katherine. The duke even managed to step outside and wave his hand. Harry was jumping for joy and clapping his hands. Still, no Katherine.
Stepping out of the carriage, Lord Garret hugged the two children and gave a dignified bow to his brother, something that he never had done before. But there was a heavy weight in his chest as he considered that Katherine might not want to see him. Was she furious that he had left? Or even worse, did she not care at all?
Entering the home, that was when Lord Garret watched as Katherine came running down the stairs, entirely out of breath and in a state of anxiousness, it seemed. She stood speechless before Lord Garret as the two of them locked eyes. Lord Garret feared that his heart was beating dangerously too fast. His joy was immense. Finally, Katherine spoke.
“I changed my dress three times,” she said in exasperation.
“What’s that?” Lord Garret asked with a smile.
“My dress,” Katherine explained, also smiling. “I wanted to pick the right one.”
They stood there looking at one another for a brief moment that felt like eternity. Yes, Katherine had missed him just as much as he had missed her. It was palpable. Although Lord Garret wished to spend the rest of the day with her, just the two of them, it was entirely impossible.
“Shall we have tea then?” The duke asked, stepping into Lord Garret’s moment of bliss.
Chapter 17
Katherine stood there in breathless anticipation. Lord Garret had the same power over her in that moment that a soldier returning from war might have over their wife. She wished to be alone with him, to speak to him, feel his arms around her, and feel his lips upon her own. But all of these hopes and wishes would be thwarted by the duke’s presence.
“Come
on, then. Renee has prepared something rustic for you,” the duke said humorously.
“Very well,” Lord Garret replied, being led away by his brother. Katherine still stood there and watched as the two gentlemen departed. Just as Lord Garret was about to enter the breakfast room, he stopped and turned to Katherine once more and warmly smiled. Her heart was dancing and Katherine had to bring a hand to her chest, willing herself to steady.
“Yay! Uncle is home!” Harry cried, racing into the breakfast room.
“Aren’t you happy, Katherine?” Constance asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Of course, I’m happy,” Katherine replied. “Immeasurably.” And it was the truth. Katherine felt that she had never been so happy in her life to see Lord Garret return. The time that he had been away, Katherine was able to do as she had planned. She focused once more on her routine, instructing the children, and returning to a normal life. But still, thoughts of Lord Garret would come to her mind during the day. In fact, she thought about him with every waking breath.
Entering into the breakfast room Katherine could see that everyone was seated in their customary places, and despite her will to do the same, she found that her legs could not carry her through the door frame. The sight of Lord Garret seated there incapacitated her body.
“Come on, Katherine,” the duke said with a quizzical expression on his face. Snapping out of her reverie once more, Katherine did as she was told and seated herself. She was momentarily self-conscious as she walked across the room towards the table because she could feel Lord Garret’s eyes upon her. In the time that he had been away, Katherine had become thinner, her appetite never having fully returned from the shock of having him leave. She hoped that it did not displease him.
After sitting, she gently looked up to find that Lord Garret still had his eyes on her, and instead of seeing judgement there, she saw only warmth. If she had changed physically, Lord Garret had not changed in the slightest, except his hair was a bit longer and more tousled. His skin appeared paler, but Katherine reasoned that this was from the cloudy weather in London and lack of the Hedge-Grove Downs sunshine.
“You look well,” Lord Garret said to her, and Katherine felt a flush come to her cheek.
“You flatter me,” Katherine replied.
“I do not.”
Breakfast was served and the warm morning light cascaded into the room effortlessly. Although things had been pleasant in the preceding month, there was the continuous sense that something was missing at Bonhomie, and it was Lord Garret. The children always spoke of him and Katherine assumed that even the duke missed his brother’s company. Now that he had returned, the atmosphere was instantly more jubilant.
“Katherine leaves for home tomorrow,” the duke said casually, informing Lord Garret of the new routine.
“Is that so?” Lord Garret asked, concern in his voice.
“She’s been going to the family home every Sunday.”
“It has been nice to see the family,” Katherine added.
“Every single Sunday?” Lord Garret asked.
“Indeed,” Katherine replied.
“Seems a bit much,” Lord Garret said, returning to the old self that Katherine remembered clearly; the man who was always scolding her for one thing or the other.
“It did to me at first, as well,” the duke said. “But now it seems fitting. It gives Katherine a break. Prudence does well looking after the children.”
“And Hans?” Lord Garret asked.
“He’s getting on. You should see the garden,” the duke replied.
“I anticipate doing so.”
It was true that Hans had transformed the garden and had become a wonderful ally for Katherine. She would visit him during the afternoon and listen to his stories about life back in Germany. Katherine had grown so in need of a friend, and so lonely, that she had even hinted to Hans on one occasion that she had affections for the duke’s brother. This had caused Hans to lift his brow and exclaim, “I shall pray for you.”
As the breakfast carried on, Katherine felt Lord Garret looking at her constantly. This sent a flood of warmth throughout her body. Did that mean that he had missed her as much as she had missed him? Katherine couldn’t help but speak.
“How long do you anticipate you’ll be staying at Bonhomie?” Katherine asked.
Lord Garret looked down solemnly at the table. “I fear only briefly. I have a burgeoning life in London.”
Katherine felt her throat close off, as though all the air had been taken out of her lungs. All the happiness and joy that she had been feeling previously had left her body. It was the most dreadful piece of news that she had ever heard in her life.
“Truly?” The duke asked. “The children enjoy having you here. You can stay for as long as you like.”
“Unfortunately, it’s just not possible,” Lord Garret replied, then locked eyes with Katherine. Although she wished to look away so that he might not see her grief, she could tell that there was bereavement in his eyes as well.
There was so much more that she wished to say, but on that occasion, Katherine was struck dumb.
***
Lord Garret knew that it was the only thing to do. He would leave in the morning and return to his work, ensuring his own future and wishing that Katherine would be part of that future.
Throughout the day he looked for chances where he might pull Katherine away, but she seemed constantly engaged with the children and Lord Garret was embedded in affairs facing Bonhomie. Sitting in the study with the duke, Lord Garret could no longer stand the great distance between he and Katherine, despite the fact that they were once again under the same roof.
“Katherine is doing well,” Lord Garret said to the duke, wishing for nothing else than to have a conversation about her.
“She continues to excel,” the duke replied. “Although I fear that she was made unhappy by your absence,” the duke added, lifting his brow as though it was uncomfortable to admit to that.
“I have been made unhappy by her absence,” Lord Garret replied, not wishing to tell a lie on the matter.
“You have never been away for so long.”
“Brother, I’m forging a life for myself.”
“And what of your life here? Your duty here?” The duke asked. Lord Garret never realised that his brother might be upset that he was gone for so long. Deep inside, he had assumed that his brother might be relieved.
“For too long, I have given myself over to my life and duty here. I shall say it once again; I’m forging a life for myself.”
A life that Katherine Chance might enjoy.
“It seems selfish to me,” the duke said, shaking his head.
“Brother, in the weeks that I have been gone I have felt the most free that I have ever felt. Please don’t accuse me of being selfish.”
“Very well,” the duke said, relenting. “As hard as it might be to believe, I do wish for your happiness.”
“And I wish for yours,” Lord Garret replied.
It was the truth. He did wish for his brother’s happiness, and his independence. If the Duke of Easterly was finding it difficult to get on without him, then so be it.
“I desire a word with Katherine before I go.”
“Alone?” The duke asked.
“Yes, alone,” Lord Garret replied. The duke considered the request for a brief moment. “So long as you do nothing to upset her, then you may,” the duke finally said.
“Very well,” Lord Garret said, getting up from his chair and walking to the door.
Risky Rules of a Passionate Governess Page 19
