“It’s ok, Luke.” Sierra said quietly, apparently realizing what he had freaked out about, and Luke stopped pacing just to stare at her.
“How the hell is this ok?” Was she out of her fucking mind? He could have gotten her pregnant.
“I’m on birth control.” She said, sitting up on the bed and moving toward the edge, pulling the sheet tighter around her naked body. “To regulate my periods.”
Luke let out the breath lodged in his chest and felt marginally better. Only momentarily though. He still didn’t understand how he could have been so thoughtless.
This woman screwed with his head. He’d been blinded by lust and burying himself inside the sweetest woman he had ever known. This wasn’t like him. He couldn’t afford these types of distractions in his life.
Fuck.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Sierra watched as Luke panicked despite her reassurance that they were protected. Admittedly, she was slightly unnerved that she had never even thought about protection. She’d only been with one man in her life, so she was clean, and based on the way Luke was reacting, he religiously used condoms. Until now.
Wondering what he was going to do next, she tracked his movements as he paced again, then went to the closet and pulled out another shirt. He disappeared into the bathroom and she heard the water running.
She glanced at Cole who now sat on the couch, his jeans once again buttoned, his head hanging low. She wanted to ask him what they were supposed to do next, but he didn’t look like he had the answers any more than she did. A minute later, Luke answered the question when he walked right out the hotel room door without a backward glance.
What the hell?
“Where is he going?” She asked, pulling the sheet tighter around her, anger bubbling up in her chest. Aside from being hurt, she was pissed as hell.
“He’s fucking running.” Cole growled and stood.
Well, he could just run for all she cared. Sierra stood from the bed, the sheet still around her, and headed to the bathroom. She grabbed her discarded dress on the way. Within minutes, she was cleaned up and dressed. When she returned to the room, Cole was no longer there, but the adjoining door was open. She contemplated sticking her head inside, but as far as she was concerned if he had wanted company, he wouldn’t have disappeared.
Salvaging what little pride she had left, Sierra walked out of Luke’s hotel room and down the hall to her own room. If she was going to fall apart, she’d be damned if she would do it in front of anyone else.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Cole took a deep breath, trying his best to contain the fury and rage that had ignited within him the second Luke stepped out of the hotel door, effectively running away from yet another situation in which he couldn’t control. Not that he hadn’t expected this sort of behavior from Luke. He’d lived it once, so Luke’s reaction was true to form.
What pissed him off the most was Luke’s ability to turn his back on Sierra. It was one thing for Luke to walk out on Cole, or to ignore him entirely, but it was not ok for him to do the same to Sierra. At least not as far as Cole was concerned.
The selfish bastard thought of no one but himself, and when he got like this, there was no reasoning with the man. So instead of following him out the door, chasing him down and beating some sense into him, Cole leashed in some of the rage that had threatened to break free. One look at Sierra’s stunned face allowed Cole to hang on to that frayed thread of sanity, and he’d slipped into his room, hoping for a minute to breath.
Apparently he had more than a minute, based on the fact that the door to Luke’s room clicked shut, and Cole knew Sierra had likely disappeared into her own room. Gripping his hands into fists, his short nails digging into his palms, Cole stood in the center of his room and fought to breathe. It was something he’d grown used to over the years.
Ask anyone and they would tell you that Cole Ackerley was a calm, even gentle man. What they didn’t see was the fury that bubbled like acid deep in his gut. Those same people would tell you that Luke was the aggressive one, the one with the temper, the loose cannon that could go off in the blink of an eye. That’s where the two men were similar; however, Cole had spent years reining in that temper, burying the aggression and single handedly convincing everyone he was the gentle giant without a mean bone in his body.
Sometimes he wondered why he even bothered. Especially when it came to Luke. The man was dominant, he was aggressive. And Cole loved that about him. Yes… loved. Luke McCoy was the one man that Cole had given himself to whole heartedly. Without thought.
After that one night in October, Cole had accepted what Luke still made a conscious effort to deny. There was something between them, something that they could fulfill in one another that no other person, man or woman could satisfy.
He’d learned early on that he was bisexual, although he wasn’t all that fond of the term. In his opinion, there wasn’t a single term that would define the satisfaction to be found in another human being, when it came to intimate contact in any form.
As far as sex was concerned, Cole had never thought to set boundaries on himself or question his preferences. There were numerous women he’d enjoyed over the years, and a handful of men. Either way, Cole found satisfaction in the person, not their gender.
Which led him to Sierra and the way his body responded to her. From the moment he’d laid eyes on her at Club Destiny, Cole had accepted that she was the one woman who would likely change him forever. Did he believe in love at first sight? Not specifically. Does that mean it doesn’t exist? No. And Sierra Sellers was living proof because Cole had found himself fantasizing about the woman in more ways than one since that fateful day.
And now, Luke had gone and dismissed them both as though they weren’t worth the effort because he couldn’t maintain his control when he was around them. That’s how Cole knew there was something more between the three of them. Something more between Luke and Sierra and something more between Cole and Sierra. When another person has the ability to make you lose your mind in sheer, unadulterated bliss, they were worth pursuing.
Grabbing his cell phone and pacing toward the window that overlooked the strip, Cole dialed the familiar number.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Those were the first words out of Cole’s mouth.
“Look, I’m catching a plane back to Dallas tonight. What happened…” Luke sounded calmer than he had earlier, but Cole knew he wasn’t thinking rationally.
“That’s fucked up, man.” Cole let out a frustrated breath, jamming his fingers through his hair. “How can you walk out on her like that?”
“It’s for the best.” Luke stated, followed by a few seconds of silence. “This isn’t what I want.”
Right. Cole had been down this road before. Luke could say the words all day long, but the only person who might believe them was him. Cole knew better. This was everything Luke wanted, but since the man didn’t have the power to control what was happening, he was going to run fast and hard.
“Keep telling yourself that, Luke. Maybe one day you’ll believe it.” Cole clicked the end button, tossing the phone on the bed to keep from heaving the damn thing at the wall. He felt the blood begin to pound in his head, every muscle going rigid, and he knew he had to calm down.
He wanted to go to Sierra, to check on her and make sure she was alright, but he needed some air first.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
An hour after she had come back to her room, Sierra had showered and put on her pajamas. At three o’clock in the morning, she knew she should be asleep, but she just couldn’t do it. Hell, she’d even tried lying down, but thoughts of Luke and what happened were scrambling her brain. Part of her wanted to know if he had come back or not. Her pride told her that it didn’t matter. What he had done was unforgivable.
One last ditch effort to get some rest had her filling a glass with water, downing it quickly, then heading back to the bed. Just as she pulled the blankets back, there was a knock on the door.
Her traitorous heart started pounding harder, anxiety filling her chest like a helium balloon.
She stopped at the door, her hand resting on the knob, but she didn’t turn it. What would she say to Luke if he showed up now? She dared a glance through the privacy hole and saw Cole standing there, and she immediately opened the door.
“What’s the matter?” She asked, taking in his weary appearance.
“Did I wake you?” He asked, looking her directly in the eye.
“No.” Sierra took a step back so he could come inside. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Me either.” He admitted, thrusting his hands into his pockets and strolling toward the window.
Despite everything that happened over the course of the last few hours, the pain that Sierra now felt deep down from Luke’s abandonment, one look at Cole and all negative thoughts vanished. The man had a body to die for, his broad back rippled with strength, and she could see the flex and give of his muscles beneath the thin fabric of his t-shirt. Tanned arms flexed with restrained energy as he turned to face her.
Sierra took a step forward, realizing exactly what Cole had come to her for. The same thing she realized she now wanted from him. Comfort.
“I want you, Sierra.” Cole said, a flash of insecurity fluttered on his handsome face before it was masked with a deep, dark hunger.
Sierra understood the vulnerability, and she suspected that he wouldn’t want her to know exactly how much Luke’s abandonment had affected him, as well. Standing before her, Cole’s emotions were masked entirely, but she figured they were weighing heavily on his mind. Neither of them could control Luke. Neither of them had the ability to help Luke understand that he couldn’t blame himself for so many things that were out of his control.
The feelings.
The need.
Just from the amount of time she had been around him, Sierra knew that Luke thought he could control everything, every situation, but then when he realized he was just as human as the rest of them, he panicked. Based on the concern reflected in Cole’s beautiful deep blue eyes, Sierra accepted what Cole already had. Luke wouldn’t be back tonight.
Unlike Luke, Sierra wasn’t going to walk away. Not from him and not from Cole. She needed to reassure Cole. He’d taken a chance coming to her room and if the words Cole had said that morning rang true, he wasn’t going to back down either.
Taking a step closer, she gauged his reaction, but he didn’t move. His eyes locked with hers and Sierra held her breath, waiting for that moment when he might push her away. Instead, he took a step closer and her heart pounded harder.
“Make love to me, Cole.” She whispered.
In an instant, Cole was on her, his hard body pressed firmly against hers, the feel of his erection pressed between her legs. Sierra latched onto him, melding her lips with his, relishing the comfort that she found in his arms. Without hesitation, he managed to rid her of her clothes, along with his own, claiming a condom from his back pocket before he had her flat on her back.
“I can’t be easy, Sierra. I need to be inside of you right now.”
“Please.” She whispered, pulling his head down, and when their lips touched once again, she realized just how much he had been holding back.
“I need to feel you.” Cole stated, pushing up from her as he opened the foil packet and sheathed himself before aligning his body with hers once again, driving into her in one hard thrust.
“Oh God!” Cole was buried to the hilt, filling the empty, lonely spaces that Luke had left when he had walked out on them earlier. And suddenly Luke no longer mattered because Cole was here.
Sierra pulled him closer, the weight of him on top of her felt like heaven. When he tried to pull back, she held him closer, wanting to feel all of him against her. Then he was kissing her again, gripping her hands and lifting them above her head as he drove into her over and over again. As her body tightened around him, he slowed his pace and then pushed back, allowing her to gaze deep into those all seeing, all knowing eyes.
“I need you to love me, Cole.” The words were out before she could stop them, and the look on his face nearly broke her heart.
“Always, Sierra.”
Chapter Fourteen
~~ ** ~~ ** ~~ ** ~~
Sierra was happy to be home. Four days in Vegas was more than she could handle and considering the circumstances, she thought she had managed to hold herself together pretty well. When she and Cole had woken up Saturday morning, he’d excused himself to his room to shower before returning to walk with her to the conference. It wasn’t until then that he told her Luke had flown back to Texas, although she was pretty sure he had known it when he had come to her during the night. She had been glad he waited to tell her because the news broke her heart all over again.
Granted, the edges of her heart were still cased in anger and fury at the man, but the net of it was that he’d hurt her. Badly. The things Luke made her feel, both with the way he buried himself deep inside of her body, and eased his way into her heart weren’t normal for her. And because the man was just as out of control as she was when they were together, made it nearly impossible to think that he could have walked away so easily. Although that was awfully pretentious – or maybe just naïve – considering they hadn’t been in any sort of committed relationship before they had finally done the deed.
But now…
Now they definitely weren’t, and it hurt to even think about it. Despite her failed efforts to convince herself that casual sex with Luke and Cole was better than no sex, Sierra knew she wasn’t programmed that way.
Somehow, probably thanks more to Cole than anyone, Sierra managed to hold herself together for the rest of the weekend. He made going through the motions bearable. And when he stayed the last night with her, Cole managed to take her mind off of Luke completely. After hanging out at the Blackjack table for a couple of hours, then catching a late dinner, the two of them had retired to her room where they ended up ravishing one another numerous times on Saturday night, both of them realizing it could very well be the last time.
Her biggest fear? That her heart was already as attached to Cole as it was to Luke. On the other hand, no matter how amazing sex with Cole was, Sierra suspected they were both trying to find comfort in one another, a desperate attempt to compensate for the devastation that was Luke McCoy.
Her mother had realized something was wrong right away, but Sierra brushed her off when they came face to face at the convention center. She couldn’t talk about it, mainly because she didn’t know what had happened herself. The facts were clear, but Luke’s reason for running wasn’t. Unless it was because he was scared of what was happening between them.
Although she wasn’t the type to use sex as consolation, Sierra wasn’t so sure Cole didn’t see her as a stand in for Luke. He hadn’t given her any impressions that he was using her, but neither of them had spoken about Luke or of what had happened. Instead, they had consumed one another. Yet afterward, hidden by the dark shadows of night, Sierra’s mind had drifted to Luke numerous times.
The situation was unfamiliar. She had never been with another man other than her husband, yet she had been with two different ones in the span of just a few days. Initially, being with both of them seemed almost normal. But when Luke walked away, leaving her and Cole alone, she couldn’t help but feel as though a part of her was missing. Though she doubted he had even cared.
The one thing she refused to do was to settle. Not that she considered Cole a consolation prize by any means. He was so much more than that. She had begun to care about him, but she knew in her heart of hearts, things weren’t going to get any easier between them. The best thing for her to do would be to back off of both of them, no matter how much it hurt. In the end, the pain would be less than the total agony she would feel if she allowed something to develop that wasn’t based on true feelings.
Now the only thing left to do was to get back in the swing of things.
Her first networking gig was behi
nd her, and she had a business to get up and running. In addition, her little rental house needed a little TLC. She hadn’t been able to part with her house in Nashville, the one she inherited from her grandmother, partly because she wasn’t particularly versed in dealing with ambiguity. Moving to Dallas was probably the biggest decision of her life, so not selling allowed her to keep the comfort of home within arm’s reach.
So instead of selling, she rented her Nashville house out, knowing that if it came down to it, she had a place to go back to. At this point, she wasn’t quite ready to put down permanent roots in Texas, which left her with a rental that she needed to make as comfortable as possible for as long as necessary.
Until she was ready to commit to staying in Dallas, she would give it her all. There were so many things that needed to fall into place before she would concede to staying – getting her business up and running, getting a feel for the lay of the land, and above all else, convincing herself that Dallas was home.
The ringing of her cell phone jarred her from her thoughts as she walked from room to room wondering how she could make the place feel just a little homier. Furniture would likely help.
“Hi Mom.” Sierra cheerfully greeted her mother. They hadn’t shared the same flight out because Veronica opted to go back on Saturday morning with Xavier while Sierra stayed until the end of the conference.
“You make it back alright?” Veronica asked, sounding a little worried.
“I did. I just got home a few minutes ago.”
“What happened to Luke? Xavier said he had an emergency and had to get back home before the conference was over.”
Emergency? She doubted that being a coward would constitute an emergency, but if it made Luke feel better, who was she to say anything different.
Nonetheless, Sierra felt the all too familiar ache at the mention of Luke’s name, but she did her best to hide it. “I’m not sure. Cole said he had something to take care of.” That wasn’t exactly a lie, but Sierra definitely wasn’t going into further detail. Not with her mother anyway.
Temptation (Club Destiny) Page 13
