Alpha’s Compromise
Charlee Garden
Copyright © 2020 by Charlee Garden
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Created with Vellum
To Michael: Thank you for always knowing how to deal with my emotional ass. You know when to let me cry and when to tell me to quit being a little bitch. There is no one I'd rather have a 3 a.m. existential crisis with. We may have been born cousins but you're like another brother to me.
Contents
1. Sam
2. Sam
3. Liliana
4. Sam
5. Liliana
6. Sam
7. Liliana
8. Sam
9. Liliana
10. Sam
11. Liliana
12. Sam
13. Liliana
14. Sam
15. Liliana
16. Sam
17. Liliana
18. Sam
19. Liliana
20. Sam
21. Liliana
22. Sam
23. Liliana
24. Sam
25. Liliana
26. Sam
27. Liliana
28. Sam
29. Liliana
30. Sam
31. Liliana
32. Sam
33. Liliana
34. Sam
35. Liliana
36. Sam
37. Liliana
What’s Next?
Acknowledgments
Also by Charlee Garden
1
Sam
The scent of pine needles filled the night air. I focused on the smell as I tried to hold myself together. Standing in the middle of the woods that surrounded our packlands, I prepared to say goodbye to my father. Two days had passed since Jameson led the attack on us. Every wolf that survived and had healed enough to shift was in attendance before me. Their gaze never wavering as I stepped forward and cleared my throat.
“Aiden Hernandez was a good man, a good alpha. He didn’t deserve to meet his end so soon,” my voice rang out across the clearing. “But... he died the way an alpha is meant to--fighting to protect his pack.”
Murmurs of agreement filled the air and I waited for them to die down before I continued. “As we stand beneath the full moon, I’m reminded of a time I stood beneath this very moon with my father so many cycles ago.”
I took another step closer to my wolves. “My mother had just died. He gripped my shoulder and told me something I will never forget. He said, ‘The moon lives, it changes, and it dies--only to be born again as does the spirit of the wolf. We will all die one day, fade from this world, but we will live on. The wolf we carry within us is linked to the moon, forever rising after death, and we are forever tied to our wolves.”
I pushed my power into the bonds that connected me to my wolves, letting them feel the tether that held us all together. Even in death, my father’s essence lingered within the pack bonds. Just because he was dead… it didn’t mean he was gone. He would live on within us.
“Tonight, we run under the light of the moon. The light that shines brighter than it did before it contained his spirit. Tonight, we say good-bye to our alpha, our friend and father, but--more importantly--we offer our thanks for his ever present light as he watches down on us.” My voice cracked, causing a halt in my speech. It had felt like the end of the world when I had to say goodbye to my mom, but this? It was so much worse. My mom had been taken by cancer. I was just a child and there was nothing I could do to help her. My dad was different. If I had handled the situation better, I could have saved him.
“To Aiden,” Alara said after I paused for too long.
I gave her a grateful nod as the pack echoed her sentiment. My heart felt as if it was permanently lodged in my throat as I spoke. Holding the tears was harder than I expected. I could hear my father’s voice in my mind as every word fell from my lips. I could remember the look on his face as he fought the pain of losing his mate in order to be there for my brother and I. He was a great man.
Tears filled my eyes as I threw my head back and howled. My human voice morphing into that of my wolf as I began to shift. The sounds of my pack joining my mournful cry filled the air as they shifted to join me. After the last pack member completed their shift, I turned and bowed my head to the altar that held my father’s body. My muzzle touched the ground as I offered a final prayer of rest.
Be at peace with Mom. I love you and I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.
I turned and ran, leading the pack on a run to honor my father.
It was so unlike our usual trek through the woods. There was no carefree rough housing or mates playfully nipping at one another. Sadness weighed heavily on everyone’s heart. I could feel their heartache streaming through the bond until I felt like it would suffocate me. It was all my fault. If only I had gone after Jameson first. If only I had saved him.
I pushed myself harder, sprinting as I led the way between trees. The burn in my muscles was the only thing that distracted from the flood of emotions that threatened to overwhelm me. Lily tried to catch up to me but I ran faster. I needed to be alone. I deserved to be alone. By doing nothing, I had essentially killed my father. I didn’t deserve to be comforted.
2
Sam
I sat on a plush sofa with Lily and Alex, my brother. We were directly across from the casket that held my father’s body, and I couldn’t seem to tear my eyes away. The funeral director had done a good job. He looked like himself despite being dead for over three days.
My father was so involved in human affairs that, even though we had honored his passing as wolves, we had to hold a memorial service as well. Officers filled the room to say good-bye to their fallen brother. They came up to my brother and I to pay their respects but their words didn’t really register. I muttered my thanks to each person as they stopped by without even looking at them.
Despite having so much to be thankful for, the heart in my chest felt as dead as my dad. I was grateful that Lily survived, but the memory of Ben’s teeth as they tore into her… it was still fresh in my mind. Every time I looked at her, I relived the moment I saw her fall lifelessly to the ground.
I kept reminding myself she was alive and carrying my child--that the threat of Ben and Jameson was over--but my fears never seemed to take a rest. Thanks to Tessa, my wolves and I had begun to form a strong truce with the witches. I should have felt safe but the shadow of my father’s death was a dark cloud over all of the good in my world. How could I be happy when he was gone? How could I ever forgive myself for dragging Lily and our child into this life?
I kept replaying the attack in my head. If I had sought out Jameson first, my father would still be alive. Instead, I chose to fight whichever wolves crossed my path and left my dad to meet his end. Would Lily eventually meet the same fate? Would our child? I obviously wasn’t strong enough to protect the people I love.
“Sam,” Lily murmured in my ear, her hand grasping mine. “Let’s go get something to eat, love.”
“Not hungry,” I mumbled.
“I know… but I should eat because of the ba-baby. Come with me.”
I knew she was just using her pregnancy as an excuse to get me to give in to what she wanted. If she was actually hungry, she would have gone to the kitchen the funeral home had stocked with food for the family. It was right across the hall.
I stood up anyw
ay and offered her my hand as a ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of my lips at the way she stumbled over the word baby. She intertwined our fingers as we made our way from the viewing room, squeezing my hand in comfort.
I sat at a table once we entered the kitchen. “Go get your food. I’ll wait here.”
There were too many people hovering over the counters lined with sustenance. I didn’t want to have to listen to another person tell me they were sorry for my loss or--God forbid--ask how I was doing. I never understood why people asked stupid ass questions like that. My dad died. I was doing pretty fucking shitty. Death made people uncomfortable, I knew that, but I couldn’t seem to muster the patience it took to deal with them. Not today.
I let out a sigh as Lily put a sandwich in front of me. “I’m not hungry, babe.”
“I don’t care. You need to eat,” she said, her voice kind yet stern.
I scratched at the back of my neck anxiously before picking up the sandwich. My stomach revolted at the idea of food but I knew she wouldn’t let it go until I consumed something. The sandwich could have been made of cardboard for all I could taste but I finished it as I waited for my mate to finish her food.
Her appetite had increased exponentially over the past couple of days. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the baby or her recent lupine transformation but she needed to eat pretty often now. She might have been manipulating me into joining her so I would eat but she wasn’t going to miss the opportunity for food either.
I scooted my chair back as she stood and walked over to me. She outstretched her hand to help me up but I pulled her down onto my lap instead. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I held her close and buried my face into her beautiful lavender hair.
A shuddering breath escaped my lips as she half-hugged me which was the best she could offer thanks to the way I held her.
“I don’t want to go back in there. I’m so sick of this. These people don’t even know how he died. A fucking car accident!” I hissed.
“I know, my love, but just because the people here are clueless… it doesn’t mean they didn’t love your dad, too. Aiden was a great man and he’s going to be missed. They’re just here to show him the respect he deserves.” Her voice hitched as she spoke. She struggled to hold in her tears, for my sake no doubt.
Fuck, I didn’t deserve her. Here she was worried about me when she’d lost just as much as I had. I nodded at her words and turned my face to kiss her cheek, “It’s okay to cry, mi amor. Holding it in is just going to put stress on you and that’s bad for the baby.”
“I’m fine,” she lied. “Are you sure you don’t want another sandwich?”
She’d almost pulled a smile out of me with that when we were interrupted.
“Sam. Lily.” Nate’s voice drew my face out from behind the curtain of hair. “They’re about to start the mass.”
3
Liliana
I might’ve held it together alright earlier, but Aiden’s mass sent me over the edge. Tears streamed down my cheeks as Sam tucked me into his side, my arms wrapped around his waist as we sat side by side. The priest went on about what a pillar in the community Aiden had been--an amazing cop, father, grandfather, and friend. Each word he spoke was like a knife to the chest but nothing hurt as much as the vacant expression on Sam’s face.
Alex, A.K., and I cried but Sam just looked mentally checked out. I was afraid for him. He wasn’t allowing himself to grieve properly and I knew from experience that nothing good came from bottling up one’s emotions. Helplessness overwhelmed me as I watched him suffer through it.
He let me go long enough to cross himself in time with the priest’s prayer and I clumsily followed along. When the service ended, everyone walked up to the casket to say their final goodbyes. Some stopped by to hug Sam and Alex while others returned to their seats or exited the room.
I watched as he nodded his thanks, never uttering a word, until it was my dad’s turn. My father cried softly in front of the casket, wiping his tears discretely as if he didn’t want people to know he was crying. He murmured his good-byes to his lifelong friend before walking up to us. Sam stood and my dad enveloped him in a long bro hug. “I’m so sorry, Sammy. It’s not fair.”
“It isn’t,” Sam muttered back before pulling away. My heart twinged at their exchange and I stood to hug him as my father moved on to speak to Alex.
“I can’t do this,” Sam said as he pulled away from my embrace. He strode from the room with a purpose, carefully avoiding contact with the line of people waiting to pay their respects. I made a move to follow him but my mom stepped in front of me before I made it more than a few steps.
“Give him a minute,” she whispered as she put her arm around me. I let out a sigh and nodded as we left the viewing room and walked to the foyer together.
I could see my mate pacing in the parking lot from the large bay windows that the room featured. Every part of me wanted to go to him but my mom was right. He obviously needed space. It was hard to watch him struggle though. He had handled the wolf ceremony the night before alright but he wasn’t managing the wake well at all. I knew the fact that the humans believed Aiden was killed in a car wreck got to him. He wanted the world to know his father went down fighting but it was something he could never share outside of our packs and the witches.
My mom sat on a loveseat in the receiving room and patted the seat next to her. I reluctantly joined her, pulling my eyes away from my grief-stricken mate.
“It’s going to be hard for him, Liliana. You just have to be there for him and let him move at his own pace,” she said sagely. “He’ll let you know when he’s ready for comfort. Show him that you’re there and he’ll come to you when he’s ready. You can’t force him to grieve or to lean on you. Just make sure he knows it’s an option.”
I let out a heaving sigh, “I know... you’re right. It’s just hard. There is so much going on right now. I feel like we don’t have a chance to breathe.”
“What else has happened?” My mom asked in a voice clearly tinged with worry.
I took a deep, fortifying breath before I answered her. “I’m pregnant.”
I couldn’t tell her about the pending treaty with the witches or the fact that Sam and I were werewolves from two different packs. But the baby? I could tell her about at least.
“You’re what? How far along are you?”
“About four months,” I lied. Werewolf pregnancies had a shorter gestation period than humans or so Ember, Sam’s pack physician, had informed me. She’d been the one to recommend I tell my human friends and family that I was currently four months along. It wouldn’t do well to tell them I was a few weeks only to look six months pregnant when I’d actually be exiting my first trimester by human standards.
However, there was a complication with the four months lie that I hadn’t foresaw.
“Four months?” My mom asked before pausing awkwardly.
“Yeah.”
“Who’s… Who’s the father, Lily?”
I half laughed and half gasped which resulted in a bad inhale that left me choking on air. Tears streamed down my face as I coughed in an attempt to clear my airway. After a moment, I regained my composure enough to answer her.
“Sam. Geez, mom. I’m not out here giving it up to every Tom, Dick, and Harry,” I stalled as I wracked my mind to find an explanation as to how I was four months pregnant. I had only been back in Knoxville for three months and, as far as my parents knew, Sam and I had gotten back together after I’d been home for over a month.
“Liliana Grace Moretti!” she snapped at my vulgarity.
I held my hands up in surrender. “Sorry, sorry. Sam… uh… he visited me… in Chicago.”
My mom frowned, no doubt sensing I wasn’t being honest.
I tried again, blending more truth into my lie. “It just happened. We didn’t plan it obviously but we’re figuring it out.”
I let out a sigh and sank into the embrace my mom offered. Sam and I hadn’t
figured out anything really. We’d barely had a blip of time to process the fact that I was pregnant. Once he’d found out how I had survived the change and had a few moments of joy at the prospect of becoming a father, he dove head first into planning his father’s human and wolf funerals. When he wasn’t handling those details, he was moving pack funds around to pay for funeral arrangements for the other wolves that died that night. He hadn’t given himself time to breathe, much less figure out what we were going to do about having a kid.
“Just give him time, sweetheart. Once the funeral is over, he’ll have a little bit of closure and be able to focus on your future together,” she counselled.
I began to respond but was cut off by Sam. He knocked on the picture window and gestured for me to join him outside.
“Go on. We’ll talk tomorrow, and don’t worry. I won’t tell your dad. You can come over and tell him and Luca yourself.”
We embraced as I thanked her before going to join my mate outside.
4
Sam
“Hey,” Lily said as she exited the funeral home.
I didn’t respond. Choosing to pull her in close and wrap my arms around her instead. We stood there, holding each other in silence, for a few minutes before I spoke.
Alpha's Compromise (Alpha Selection Book 2) Page 1
