“Did Jenna return your passionate interest?” Regina asked, knowing this answer already, but wondering if Seth did.
“Yes.” Seth didn’t hesitate. “She still wants me, but she doesn’t want to want me. I finally believe her. She’s seeing other men and trying to get over me, but I don’t think she’s slept with any of them yet. At least, she hadn’t up to the night of Lauren’s product party. She accidentally told me.”
Regina looked thoughtful as she tapped the end of the pen on her chin. “Okay. Here’s my next question. While you were still actively dating Jenna, what did you do with the passion you felt, but that neither of you were exercising within your relationship? Even priests have a lot of trouble turning off sexual arousal, and they have elaborate ways to handle it. Most normal people merely subjugate the sexual urge by channeling it to another less risky person, to self-gratification, or to substitute activities such as overeating. You look healthy and fit, so I’m going to guess that you don’t overeat.”
Seth flushed to the roots of his hair, closed his eyes, and groaned in embarrassment. “Do you have to know the specific information?”
When he opened his eyes again, Regina nodded in sympathy but was firm in her reply. “Yes. I do. I think it’s important to this discussion.”
“Self-gratification,” Seth said, mortified.
“How frequently?” Regina returned her attention to the file, wrote a couple of codes, and saw Seth moving restlessly in the chair. She looked up to see his flaming red face.
“Seth, there’s nothing wrong with self-gratification. I’d be a remarkably rich woman if I had a nickel for each time I’ve had to explain this. The alternative to sex that you chose was a testament to your feelings for Jenna. You could have taken that passion to another person. Many, many people do that. Some of us would think that self-gratification was a more honorable choice. It is the one I recommend to people most frequently in situations where one or the other partner cannot be sexual for some extended period of time. So tell me how often and how consistently. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think I truly needed to know.”
Regina watched his high color fade a bit as he looked toward the window and sighed. Facing truths about sexual feelings was hard for everyone.
“Four or five times a week, sometimes more. I guess it’s been every week since I met her.” Seth leaned his head back in the chair and closed his eyes.
“Perfectly reasonable,” Regina said, smiling a little at her folder. “Do you know what Jenna did to handle it?”
Seth’s head came up and his eyes locked on Regina’s. “What do you mean?”
“Well, if Jenna returned your passionate interest, then it’s reasonable to assume she would need to find an outlet as well if neither of you were helping the other achieve sexual release,” Regina said, trying to make her voice a balance of logic and kindness.
Seth frowned, remembering the power of Jenna’s desperate kiss in the bedroom the day of the party and recalling how she had turned off her response as soon as he put on the brakes. What did that mean?
“I guess never thought about it. I don’t know what Jenna did. I guess I thought she did nothing. Women seem to handle sexual frustration better than men, don’t they?” Seth asked.
Regina shook her head from side to side and sighed at the lack of true understanding in his response. She saw this all the time.
“Well, let me set you straight and tell you that your thinking is completely wrong. First, single women without regular sexual partners self-gratify as much as men. If you don’t think I’m right, check out the sales of vibrators. That’s not even counting the women who don’t use them. Secondly, let’s talk about sexual arousal for a woman Jenna’s age. Her sexual arousal when she is turned on is probably five times stronger than your arousal at your age. If she’s not doing anything to seek relief from the sexual tension she has around you, then she’s probably been in the world’s worst mood for a very, very long time.” Regina laughed as Seth processed the information.
“Shit,” Seth said, as the errors in his thinking were becoming clear. “You’re saying Jenna’s perpetually mad at me because I get her wound up and never follow through?”
“Mad is probably the mildest word you could use to describe her frustration level. If I were you, I would avoid being alone with Jenna in rooms with large throwable objects, sharp knives, or ball bats.” Regina smiled as understanding finally dawned in Seth’s eyes.
“When I followed her to the bedroom, she was throwing her shoes against the wall. I thought she was just having a temper tantrum. You’re telling me it could have been more than that?” Seth asked, still trying to take it all in.
Regina shrugged, “Possibly. Since I don’t have Jenna’s side of the story, I can’t confirm.”
“She said she was done with me. My God, she’s dating other guys. She’s trying to take her passion to another person because I—oh shit, Regina. What the hell am I going to do? How am I going to fix this?” Seth looked at her desperately.
Regina got up and walked to a shelf with a fish bowl full of small colorful foil packets. She scooped a handful out, walked to Seth, and dropped them into his hands.
“Here. Never be without at least one of these in your pocket. If you’re not willing to take any risks, and then at least be prepared at all times to follow through.” Regina laughed as Seth looked surprised at the various colors and textures.
Seth closed his hands around the packets of condoms and nodded. “I feel like I’m in a high school sex education course. I can’t believe I have to be told something so simple at age thirty.”
Regina laughed. “That’s because you currently have little or no sympathy for what Jenna is suffering. We need to change that, make you not just sympathetic but empathetic. As often as you’ve been achieving sexual release on your own, you’ve literally forgotten how bad it can be to be churned up and not have an outlet. So I want you to completely stop self-gratification for the next week, and then come back and see me. And I want you to not approach Jenna again until you see me.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Seth couldn’t believe what he was hearing, couldn’t believe what she was asking of him.
“Do you want to fix this or not?” Regina asked quietly, smiling at his shock.
“Well yes. I’m willing to do as you ask, but I don’t see how that’s going to make a difference,” Seth said.
Regina laughed and wondered just how bad off Seth would be in a week and how soon it would take him to figure it out. She’d almost said two weeks, but experience and instinct told her Seth Carter would never make it two weeks.
“Seth, you’re going to want to put away anything around your house that is valuable and that you don’t want broken. Getting back in touch with your sexual tension will be a bit like going through the worst parts of puberty again. When you start getting frustrated in a few days, your mood is going to shift dramatically. You may have trouble sleeping. You may be irritable with people around you. Some men have told me that they destroyed things.”
Seth snorted. “I don’t think it’s going to get that bad in a week.”
“Think of it this way,” Regina said, eyes twinkling, “an average single man self-gratifies once or twice a week. You’re above the average. This means your sexual frustration will be proportional and likely start the first day you abstain. I could be wrong, but I’m rarely wrong. I’ve asked lots of men to do this. It is torturous, but effective one hundred percent of the time.”
She wrote something on a form and handed it to Seth. “Tell the front office I said to schedule you in the morning exactly a week from today. If you have any questions before then, call me.”
Seth nodded. “What if Jenna sleeps with someone before the week is up? She’s still dating Stedman.”
“I don’t know. Only you can answer that question, Seth.” Regina said softly.
Seth nodded and walked out the door. Regina sighed and laid her head back in her chair.
Lord, what people did to each other, she thought.
The simplicity of her relationship with Ben never failed to bring a rush of gratitude to her. All the years she had spent looking had been validated the day Ben Kaiser walked into her life. The right person simply made all the difference. She found herself wondering if Seth was going to prove to be the right person for Jenna and vice versa.
Even with her skills, Regina knew all she could do was tell the truth and hope her clients were smart enough to figure it out. She sighed again and rose to go see the next one.
Chapter 3
“Are you okay?” Casey asked, searching Seth’s face for signs of illness. He was standing in the kitchen of Seth’s condo, setting out the Chinese food he’d brought for their dinner.
“Of course. Why?” Seth asked, frowning. He stuck his hands in his pockets only to remove them quickly.
“Well, you’ve walked to the patio door and back about fifty times in the last ten minutes. It’s not like you to pace. You keep putting your hands in your pockets and pulling them out. You seem nervous or something. Talk to me. I’ve been helping you solve problems for a long time now, remember?” Casey watched Seth stop walking and run a hand over his face. Seth looked like he wanted to say something, but didn’t.
“I need a beer. Want one?” Seth asked, walking to the refrigerator. He didn’t know how to answer Casey’s question or even if he wanted to confide what was going on.
“I’ll take a small glass of red wine if you have it. I’m still doing the physical therapy and have to limit my alcohol intake,” Casey said.
Seth nodded and pulled a bottle of wine out.
Casey watched him pour the wine and saw Seth’s hands tremble holding the bottle.
“Seth, why the hell are your hands shaking? What’s wrong?”
Seth set down the wine bottle with more force than he intended and liquid sloshed inside.
“It’s only been two days and I’m a wreck, that’s why. I can’t function like this.” Seth ran a hand through his hair, turned toward the patio door, and drank the beer straight down without stopping.
Casey grinned and laughed softly.
“What?” Seth asked. “What’s funny?”
“Just an old memory. For a moment, something about you reminded me of when you were seventeen. You had this major thing for a girl you’d been dating, who wouldn’t let you get past second base. I used to wonder if you were going to explode before you got to have sex with her. You tended to wear your sexual frustration on your sleeve. It was hard to watch, even though it was entertaining at times,” Casey said, laughing and spooning food into plates. When he looked up from the food, it was to see that Seth had gone pale.
“Are you saying you can tell that I’m—oh shit,” Seth searched for the right words, shocked that Casey so easily saw the problem. If he could, could everyone? “You can tell that I’m sexually frustrated?”
“No. If I didn’t know you as well as I do, I’d probably just think you were upset or mad as hell about something.” Casey shrugged.
“Upset?” Seth repeated, cringing as he remembered saying something to that effect to Jenna. “I am such a damn idiot.”
Two days of suffering and he already learned the lesson Regina had wanted him to learn.
He couldn’t stand the thought that Jenna had ever felt like he felt right now. What had he been thinking to hold him back from her as if they had been nothing more to each other just good friends? They were a hell of lot more than friends.
To keep from loathing himself, he needed to maintain the illusion that she hadn’t been this miserable. But every time he thought about how unrestrained and desperate Jenna had been every time she kissed him, Seth knew it was a lie. The thing about her he loved most was the very proof he had ignored because it hadn’t fit his freaking plan.
Casey smiled easily. “Since I do know you, and I also care about you, I’m going to just say that I think you need to get laid as soon as possible. Seriously. It can change your entire outlook on life. It could definitely relieve the tension that has you pacing and shaking. Normally, I’m not a fan of casual sex, but you obviously need the relief.”
“Trust me—sex with a random woman will not fix this, Casey. I miss Jenna. I only want her.” Seth knew he sounded like a child demanding a toy back that had been taken away.
Casey shrugged. “Better look for someone else, Seth. I believe that ship has sailed already. She’s seeing some guy Allen set her up with last week.”
“What guy? I thought she was dating Stedman,” Seth said, remembering the man’s tanned, muscled perfection with scowl.
“She and Allen broke up I guess. They seem to be just friends now. Been like that since Lauren’s party,” Casey finished serving the food and carried the plates to the table. “I know the new guy Jenna’s seeing is straight because I saw her kissing him in the garden. It wasn’t just a friendly kiss either, if you know what I mean.”
Casey thought it best to just put the truth blatantly out there. Seth was going to have to start accepting that his chance with Jenna was long gone. The girl had definitely moved on even if things hadn’t worked out with Stedman.
“I can’t believe she barely broke up with Stedman and is already kissing another guy,” Seth said angrily, hands fisting in his pockets. Neither Jenna nor Allen had bothered to tell Seth they had stopped dating. Stedman hadn’t worked out because Seth had been between them—even when he’d tried damn hard not to be. Now Jenna was looking for yet another alternate person.
“How long ago was she kissing the guy?”
“Last weekend,” Casey said, looking perplexed at Seth’s outrage because he’d never shown it before over her. “Jenna brought him by to meet us. You can’t understand much of what he says with his limited English, but he seems okay.”
“Oh, fucking great. She’s kissing a guy that she already brought home to meet her mother.” Seth felt his heartbeat thunder in his chest as the heat rose in his face. He swallowed hard trying to calm himself. “Sorry. I’m just—I wish I’d known she and Allen had broken up, that’s all.”
Seth wanted to go back to that day in Jenna’s bedroom, to have the chance again to sink inside her as he had wanted, as she had so obviously wanted. If Jenna had gotten pregnant with his child then, she for sure wouldn’t be kissing someone else now. The thought of Jenna pregnant and being completely his sent a surge of possessiveness through him.
His response answered the question he’d asked Regina about Jenna sleeping with someone else. He didn’t care about Allen or the other guy. Jenna was his, simply his. He was going to find a way to make her want to be.
Casey saw the anger in Seth’s face and the rigid stance of his body. Normally, Seth was the calmest man he knew. He’d never really seen the adult Seth so agitated or angry over anything. It worried him what he might do in such an agitated frame of mind.
“Seth. Snap out of it. You were never this concerned about what Jenna was doing when you were dating. There are a lot of women in world. You’re a good-looking guy. I’m sure you’ll find one soon. Come eat before the food gets cold.” Casey picked up his wine and moved to sit at the table.
Seth turned to Casey. “Damn, Casey, you know how it is. There are no other women for me. There’s just been Jenna from the first moment I met her. I kissed her the way I wanted to the night of your engagement party. I could have done more, but I stopped. I won’t make that mistake again. She still wants me and she’s mine. I don’t care how many guys she kisses in her mother’s garden. Hell, I don’t even care how many men she takes to her bed. I’m going to be the last one.”
Casey looked at Seth’s face and saw that he meant every word. This wasn’t a seventeen-year-old boy with a crush. This was man in love.
“What the hell happened to you this week?” Casey asked, his voice quiet and serious.
“I finally figured out what Jenna has been trying to tell me practically since the day we met. I finally understand. I’m just not allow
ed to do anything about it for a damn week.” Seth picked up his fork and took a bite of food. “Thanks for bringing dinner. I’ve eaten everything in the house and haven’t taken the time to go shopping.”
“It’s not like you to overeat, which just proves my point,” Casey said, digging into his food. “You know they say that overeating is just a substitute for other things.”
Seth glared at him so hard Casey stopped talking. He looked at Seth as if he was seeing him for the first time. Maybe he was—Seth certainly wasn’t acting like his normal self.
Seth dug into his food with restrained anger. “Don’t worry. My eating binge will not last longer than a week. I’m going to make sure to put my energies in the right places after next Tuesday. Now shut up and let me enjoy this. Food is the only thing I have left to enjoy right now.”
Casey laughed, not quite sure why that remark was so funny. He didn’t even know what Seth was talking about, so it must have just been the frustrated look on his face.
“How’s the security business?” Seth asked, desperate to change the subject.
Casey started talking about the work that Jim had brought to Ben and him. Seth relaxed enough to polish off his plate and head back for round two.
Chapter 4
Jenna sat with her mother at Eddy’s having a drink and a sandwich while they waited on Regina and Lauren to show up. Despite her borderline depression over her lackluster romantic life, she was managing to eat with gusto instead of just picking at her food.
Her attitude had improved some over the last couple of weeks. Breaking up with Allen had been the right thing even though her ego had stung at the time. Letting him fix her up with a gym buddy had been good also, even though she was stalling about another date with the sweet, hunky guy. Cristo was a great kisser and wonderfully attentive. Hopefully in time she would come to appreciate it more.
Dating A Metro Man Page 2
