With a curse, Vivienne turned away from the window, walked to the kitchen, and put her glass in the dishwasher. Well, this little detour did manage to do something—piss her off enough that she was no longer feeling the sexual frustration of moments ago.
Anger she could work with.
Stomping back up to her bedroom, she shut the door, crawled into bed, and punched her pillow a few times. It didn’t really make her feel any better but it seemed like the thing to do. Once she was lying down and comfortable, Vivienne forced herself to relax, taking a couple of deep breaths. There had been a blog post in the magazine not too long ago that had talked about deep breathing exercises to help you sleep, and she tried some of them. Within minutes, the tension had started leaving her body and she felt herself begin to relax.
Probably for the first time in a week.
With her mind cleared and her body pliant, she took another deep, cleansing breath and rolled over onto her belly.
And finally fell asleep.
* * *
He couldn’t sleep.
Correction, he couldn’t go back to sleep. Damn dreams. Damn vivid, terrifying dreams. They should be gone by now. Over. Done with. Matt ran a shaky hand over his throat and did his best to keep reminding himself that it was over. It was just a dream.
Even if it was one based on reality.
How long was he going to have to suffer from those memories? And what was it going to take to make them stop?
He shook his head to clear it. Why couldn’t he be having sex dreams about Vivienne? Kissing her? Stripping her? Making love to her? But no. He was stuck in his own private hell that, no matter how much time went by or how far he traveled, he couldn’t get away from.
Lying in the dark, he did everything he could to push the images aside and fill his mind with something else. Something good. Something positive.
Something a lot less horrifying.
He knew why he was having them now. There was logic to it. But it still pissed him off. He tossed, he turned, and yet he couldn’t shake the images from his mind, could still feel the pain. The panic. Could still hear the voice.
With a muttered curse, he reached over to the bedside table, turned on the light, and reached for the television remote.
Another sleepless night.
* * *
Two days later, Matt decided he’d had enough. He’d given Vivienne space the previous day because he thought it was only fair. After the way she had practically sprinted away from the house after they’d kissed, it seemed like the right thing to do. But now? After having way too much time alone to think about it, he decided she was right—hiding out wasn’t helping anything.
True, she had said it in reference to his situation with the press, but he still felt pretty strongly that it applied in this situation too.
He was just stepping out of the shower—which was where he’d finally come to this conclusion—when he heard his cell phone ring. The sound momentarily paralyzed him. No one other than Aaron had called him in weeks. And with the time difference, Matt had a feeling Aaron was deep in work mode and not up for a casual conversation to catch up on how Matt was doing.
Wrapping a towel around his waist, he walked out of the bathroom and into his room and glanced down at the screen.
Riley.
The breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding whooshed out of him as he swiped the screen to answer it.
“Hey,” he said. “What’s up?”
“I was beginning to wonder if you were going to answer,” Riley said with a chuckle. “You doing okay?”
Matt sat down on the bed and reclined against the pillows. “Bored out of my damn mind, but other than that, I’m dealing.”
Riley chuckled again. “Just dealing? That doesn’t sound good.”
“It’s all I’ve got right now,” Matt admitted. “I’ve been messing around on the piano, but nothing new or original. Just sort of teaching myself to play.”
“That’s awesome, Matt. And it sounds like a decent distraction.” He paused. “So that kind of tells me you’re not at a hotel or resort. Because if you were, people would see and hear you playing and possibly leak the information to the press. So, come on. Where are you?”
Matt laughed. “Nice. I already told you, man. It’s not a big deal. I’ve got a place to stay that’s private.”
“Private? So there’s no one around to talk to? That would make me crazy.”
“I seem to recall you spending some time alone when you were writing the music for your album.”
“Yeah and I hated it,” Riley admitted. “I think I spent more time with my family during that experience than I had in years. Between them and Mick and the studio musicians and then Savannah, they’re what kept me sane. Especially my time with Savannah.”
Matt smiled. It hit him in that instant how jealous he was of Riley—not professionally, although maybe that wasn’t the complete truth. Riley had overcome his obstacles and the bad press and turned it into one of the biggest successes of his life. But what Matt was really jealous of was that Riley had found Savannah. Matt hadn’t even been around the two of them all that much, but he could simply hear it in his friend’s voice how happy he was.
“But seriously, Matt, is there anyone around for you to talk to? I hate the thought of you sitting by yourself for freaking weeks. It’s not healthy. You’ll start to lose your mind.”
Too late, Matt wanted to say. He sighed, raking a hand through his damp hair. “I’ve got a house to myself and there’s someone else on the property.”
“Oh,” Riley said, sounding relieved. “Well that’s good. And you’re…you’re good? Things are all right? Are you feeling better?”
“Why do I get the feeling you’re checking up on me for a specific reason? Has something happened?”
Riley let out a breath. “I don’t suppose you’re going online or reading newspapers.”
“No,” he said firmly. “I’ve been avoiding anything media related like the plague. Why? What’s going on?” A sense of dread began creeping over him, and for a minute, Matt wished he had simply ignored his friend’s call.
“Mick was going to call you, but…I thought it would be better coming from me.”
“What the hell, Riley? Just say it!” he shouted, sitting straight up.
“Dylan was in an accident last night,” Riley said. “It was pretty bad.”
“Was he driving?”
“Yeah.”
Shit. That meant… “Had he been drinking?”
“Yeah,” Riley wearily replied.
“So…what happened? Was anyone hurt? Is Dylan all right?”
“He was alone in the car—that ridiculous Lamborghini. He slammed into another car just off the Vegas Strip. Totaled both cars.”
Matt’s stomach knotted. “Please tell me no one was hurt.”
“The car had four men who were in Vegas on business. They’re all pretty messed up, but they survived.”
Relief washed over him. “Okay. Okay,” he said as he took a deep breath. “That’s good. And Dylan?”
“He’s banged up but nothing’s broken. After getting checked out at the hospital, they arrested him. It’s all over the news. I barely recognized him in the mug shot. Mick’s ready to bust a vessel, he’s freaking out so bad. He was screaming about how none of this shit happened when we were all together as a band.”
It sounded exactly like something their manager would say. “When did this happen?”
“It hit the press this morning. I’ve been doing damage control as much as I can, but—”
“It’s not your mess, Riley,” Matt said adamantly. “Dylan’s been on this path for a while now. We both said it the other day. I hate that this happened, but I’m so damn thankful he didn’t kill anyone.”
“Yeah,” Riley sighed. “Small miracle
s.”
“So…what now? Do we need to make statements for Mick to release? Talk to the media? What?”
“Matt…you…you’d be willing to do that?”
It hit Matt in that instant that he would. Even though Dylan’s current situation was one hundred percent his own doing and preventable, they were brothers. Maybe not by blood, but that didn’t make it any less true. It also hit him how much it would have meant to him to have Dylan and Julian stand up and defend him when his own shit hit the fan.
Just as it probably would have helped Riley a year ago.
Lesson learned.
“Yeah,” he said firmly. “I’d be willing to do it. Dylan’s got a rough road ahead of him, and he’s going to need some friends in his corner.”
“Yes, he will.”
“Listen, Riley… I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I wasn’t there for you. You were struggling and I wasn’t—”
Riley cut him off. “Matt, we already covered this. It’s the past. It’s over and done with, and at the time, I don’t think anything anyone could have done would have helped. It was all in my own head. What you went through? And what Dylan’s going through? Those are things where having someone there beside you means the most.”
Riley was always the gracious one.
“So my original question stands—what do we need to do?”
Riley sighed. “Well, I’ll call Mick and see if he wants a statement from us and Julian or if the PR team is simply putting one out there. Personally, I’d feel better knowing it was one that was legitimately from us. And then…” He paused. “Then we might want to take a trip to see Dylan. If we can.”
“I’ll get on a plane today if that’s what we need to do.”
A low chuckle was Riley’s first response. “I don’t doubt it for a minute, Matt. I’m just not sure we’d even be allowed to see him right now. We should probably wait a day or two to figure out where he’s at and what charges are going to be filed and what his legal team and Mick think we should do.”
“Man, this is a nightmare,” Matt murmured. “I can’t even imagine what Dylan’s feeling.”
They fell silent for a moment.
“Matt?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m proud of you.”
What? “Me? Why?”
“Because you’ve been dealing with your own shit for a few weeks and struggling with your own demons, and yet…you’re willing to step out and help a friend. I know Dylan hasn’t exactly been the greatest friend to you…or any of us—”
“Doesn’t matter,” Matt interrupted. “He had his own battle going on. I just hope this is the wake-up call to get the help he desperately needs.”
“I guess that’s one silver lining.”
“Hey, if one’s all we get, I’ll take it.”
“Well,” Riley began and Matt could hear the smile in his voice, “there is another one.”
Matt frowned. “There is?”
“Uh-huh. This story isn’t going to go away anytime soon, unfortunately.”
“I thought you said there was a silver lining.”
“For you there is.”
What the…?
“Matt, the spotlight is off of you. You don’t have to stay in hiding. You can take your life back.”
It took a minute for those words to sink in. Riley was right. It didn’t particularly make Matt feel good—he was getting a reprieve because his friend and bandmate was in trouble. Real trouble.
“I’m scum,” Matt cursed.
“What?” Riley asked incredulously. “What are you even talking about?”
“Dude, I’m sitting here feeling relieved because the vultures found someone else to go after. How shitty is that? I mean, if you compare the two situations, how dare I sit here for as long as I did wallowing in self-pity. Dylan’s life is forever going to be changed because of this! Those guys in the other car? Their lives are going to be changed because of this. My life, my struggles were nothing compared to that. My ego got bruised. God,” he spat, disgusted with himself. “I’m so damn ashamed!”
“Matt—”
“It’s true, Riley. Dylan’s no doubt facing criminal charges. Those four guys in the car could be dealing with horrific injuries and rehab. What did I have to face? The fact that I wasn’t as talented as I thought I was? Big freaking deal. I always knew I wasn’t good enough,” he murmured. “I should have listened—”
“Hey!” Riley snapped. “It isn’t true. It never was true! I thought you had gotten over that. It was a long time ago.”
“Some things never really go away. You just get better at pushing them aside.”
“Matt…”
There was so much more he wanted to say, but he had already been a selfish prick for weeks. Probably longer. Now wasn’t the time to keep the focus on him. It was time to do something for somebody else for a change.
“Talk to Mick and get back to me. Let me know what we need to do.”
Riley was silent for a long moment. “Okay. I’ll call him and get back to you. It probably won’t be until later tonight. I’ve got a sound check to do, and I promised Savannah we’d have an actual dinner date before the show, so it will be kind of late when I call. I’m on Central Time. Where are you?”
Matt chuckled. “East Coast, man. I’m pretty close to home. Well, where we grew up.”
“Seriously?” Riley cried. “You swore you’d never go back there and now you’re…”
Matt knew the instant Riley figured it out.
“Aaron.”
“Yeah.”
“Good. I’m glad you’re there. I think it’s the best place for you to be. Maybe now that this nightmare is behind you, you can put some other ghosts to rest.”
Doubtful, Matt thought but didn’t argue. “Call me tonight. I don’t care how late it is. I’ll be here.”
“Tell Aaron I said hello. Maybe once all this craziness dies down, we can all get together. The tour is going to be doing a stop in Myrtle Beach next month. I know it’s not really close by, but my whole family is coming, and it would be great if you and Aaron did too. Maybe you could even come up and play a song or two with me.”
The thought made Matt smile. It was exactly what he longed for, but his insecurities were still a little too close to the surface and raw. “Maybe. Let’s get through this media circus first.”
“Sounds good, Matt. I’ll talk to you later.”
Hanging up the phone, Matt placed it on the table and sighed. He should feel happy. This was what he’d been wishing for—someone else to take over the spotlight so he could have his life back. He just hated that it was Dylan.
He was beginning to think the band was cursed.
He stood up and let the towel that had been wrapped around him drop to the floor. He strode to the closet and grabbed a pair of jeans before walking naked across the room to grab a pair of boxer briefs. Hastily, he threw them both on before walking out to the kitchen. It was lunchtime and he was hungry, but his mind was still reeling from all of the information he’d been given this morning.
With a curse, he pulled open the refrigerator and was looking around for the makings of a sandwich when he heard a soft knock on the back door. He’d locked it last night and hadn’t been out there since, but he knew it could only be one person.
Vivienne.
Thirty minutes ago, he had been more than ready to storm across the yard and talk to her. But now? Now he wasn’t so sure he was ready.
“Matt?” he heard her call through the door. “Are you there?”
With a sigh of resignation, he closed the refrigerator and walked over to the door. He pulled it open and then turned and walked away. He wasn’t ready to look at her. Hell, he wasn’t even sure he’d be able to look at himself. He’d meant what he said to Riley onl
y moments ago. He was scum. And selfish.
And he was ashamed of himself.
Vivienne had been right the other night when she’d called him out on his behavior. And it wasn’t that he was angry about her being right, but it just meant he really wasn’t someone who was particularly likable at the moment.
“Are you okay?” she asked softly.
Matt shrugged, figuring she was referring to their awkward encounter the other night. “I was just about to make a sandwich. You want something?” he asked.
Vivienne closed the door and followed him into the kitchen. “No. Thanks. I’m good.”
Unable to help himself, he glanced over his shoulder and looked at her. She was dressed casually in a pair of black yoga pants and a snug, pink T-shirt. Her long hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she wasn’t wearing makeup.
And she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Cursing himself and his thoughts, he returned his attention to the food in the refrigerator. Without a word, he pulled out a package of sliced turkey breast, some cheese, and a jar of mayo. Slamming the door shut, he put the food down on the granite countertop and then grabbed the bread from the pantry. He knew Vivienne was watching him, but he forced himself to stay focused on making his lunch.
Out of the corner of his eye, Matt saw Vivienne move closer, taking a seat at the kitchen island. “Matt, I saw a story on the news about Dylan. I…I wasn’t sure if you knew or if anyone called you but—”
“I just got off the phone with Riley,” he said quietly, putting the finishing touches on his sandwich.
“Oh. Okay.”
Matt wasn’t sure what else to say. His mind was racing in a dozen different directions, and he had no idea which topic of conversation he was ready to discuss with her—if any—at the moment. When he remained silent, he heard the stool she had been sitting on move. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw that she was walking toward the back door.
“Viv?”
She turned back and looked at him, a sad smile on her face. “I just thought you should know. Just in case no one had reached out.”
One More Kiss Page 10
