“That’s just wrong,” Vivienne muttered with disgust.
“I agree, but…that’s the way it is. This place is secluded, has high security, and will guard Dylan’s privacy while he’s there.”
“Sounds to me like it’s probably a glorified spa.” She threw down the chip she was about to eat. “So the guys in the car he hit are in the hospital and dealing with their injuries, and the big rock star gets to go and get coddled and massaged. Nice.”
Matt rested his elbows on the table and glared at her. “Okay, first of all, that’s a pretty big assumption you’re making.” His tone was firm and just a little bit hostile. “You have no idea what it’s like to go through rehab for an addiction. Just because the place is upscale doesn’t mean it’s a damn cakewalk.”
Shame filled her. He was right. She had no idea what it was like and it was wrong to pretend like she did. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It was insensitive of me.”
“Damn right it was,” he snapped as he pushed away from the table and stood. “I was too damn scared to go into one of those facilities. Just the thought of being isolated and not having any control was enough to freak me out. I am so relieved Dylan is doing this and no one had to strong-arm him into it.”
“Well—”
“Okay, I realize the accident and DUI charges were technically the same thing, but he still could have fought it.”
“So what happens now? How long is he there for?”
With a shrug, he paced beside the table. “Not sure. It could be thirty days, it could be more. I think it all depends on how his recovery goes.”
“And what about the charges? I’m sure there’s going to be a civil suit brought against him by each of the guys in the other car. Will he have to go to court?”
“It’s doubtful. He’s not going to argue that he caused the accident. It would be pointless. There will be settlements and then…” He paused and shrugged again. “Then Dylan’s going to have to stay on the straight and narrow.”
“Any word on how badly injured the guys were?”
“Nothing life-threatening, thank God.” Seemingly tired of pacing, Matt sat back down. “Broken bones, concussions. Luckily it was a fairly new car and had airbags on all sides. I think it could have been much worse.”
“Still. It had to be very scary. And completely pointless—all because of alcohol.”
Matt studied her for a long moment. “I know it sounds like an excuse, but it’s part of the lifestyle. I know I partied way too much. At the time, I didn’t even realize how much. Eventually, it finally registered, and I knew it wasn’t how I wanted to live my life. I’ve seen what it can do to people, what it was doing to me, and that was enough to make me want to quit. But while you’re on the road, it’s everywhere. Not everyone can resist it. I went on the wagon completely and it was hard to keep saying no when it was being offered all around me. Eventually I learned to drink in moderation, and it’s working for me.”
“What about Dylan?”
“Dylan drank. It’s what he was known for—he was always the partier in the band, and he sort of liked the reputation that went with it.” He sighed. “I knew that eventually it was going to come to something like this.”
“So it’s a good thing he’s getting the help,” she said because she didn’t know what else to say. It was true she’d never had any unhealthy vices, and for the life of her, she’d never understood how people allowed themselves to become addicted to anything, but she could hear the pain in Matt’s voice and knew his concern was real. “Maybe at some point you can talk to Dylan. You can encourage him.”
“Maybe,” he said and picked up his sandwich. After taking a bite, he threw it back down and looked over at Vivienne again. “I lied.”
“Excuse me?” Her stomach clenched at his words, the somber tone.
Shifting around in his chair, Matt rested his arms on the edge of the table. “I really did quit drinking because I didn’t like who I had become.”
“O-kay…”
“But…it’s not the only reason.”
Her heart began to hammer in her chest. Vivienne knew that nothing as drastic as what Dylan was dealing with had happened to Matt. She would have heard about it—if not through the media, then at least from Aaron.
His green eyes darkened as he continued to look at her. “I thought I had hallucinated,” he said, his voice low and gruff. “After the night you showed up, I thought I had imagined it. Mick wouldn’t talk about it and it just seemed like…it never happened. It was there, like on the edge of my consciousness and yet…I couldn’t fully remember.” He took a moment to take another sip of his drink. “I’d never blacked out from drinking. I’d never forgotten anything—until that night. That’s when I knew I’d had enough.”
“So you just…stopped?”
He shook his head. “I’m oversimplifying it, but the bottom line is the same. That night was a turning point for me. I stumbled and I screwed up a few times, but in the end I knew I was heading in the right direction.”
Wow. Again, what could she possibly say to that? Part of Vivienne was relieved she played some small part in Matt getting sober, but…it did little to make her feel better about the whole thing. She shook her head. It was enough. She had to let it go. They could talk about it and rehash it until they were blue in the face and it wasn’t going to do a thing for her. So she did the only thing she could do.
“I forgive you, Matt,” she said quietly.
He looked at her in stunned silence and continued to do so until Vivienne started to squirm in her seat.
“The way things happened that night doesn’t make me feel particularly proud—of either of us. But there’s no point in continuing to hash it out. I think I can say with certainty that I have a better understanding of it all and I’d like to put it behind us.” She took a deep breath before saying, “And start over.”
Matt continued to silently stare at her.
“Please say something,” she prompted nervously, chewing on her bottom lip.
“I…I don’t know if I can do that.”
A nervous chuckle came out before she could stop it. “What, you mean you don’t know if you can say anything?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know if I can start over.”
Vivienne was completely confused. “Why not? I think it would be a good thing. For both of us.”
“I disagree,” he said, resting his elbows on the table so he could lean his cheek in the palm of his hand.
“I don’t understand why—”
“I kind of like where we are right now. I don’t want to pretend the past didn’t happen. I’m enjoying the banter we have and the way I find it so easy to talk to you. I think if we ignore that night, that kiss, then we’re both denying a part of who we are.”
Well, damn. That was a pretty powerful declaration, she thought. “But…it wasn’t me that night,” she argued. “I honestly don’t know why I did any of it. This is who I am,” she said, patting herself on the chest. “I’m an introvert who likes things neat and orderly. I hate chaos, and I plan out everything. I hate leaving anything to chance, and I rarely take risks. I like my world to be predictable and organized. I make lists, and I like to check things off. The person you’re remembering doesn’t really exist.”
“Again, I disagree.”
“Ugh,” she groaned and stood to clear the table. “Do you deliberately go out of your way to make things difficult all the damn time?”
Matt stood and helped her with the dishes. “Viv, I’m not trying to make anything difficult. If anything, I’m simplifying things. You came to see me. We kissed. We didn’t see each other for a while. Now we’re both here and we kissed again.” He placed the dishes in the dishwasher before turning and looking at her again. “And, if we’re completely honest for the sake of keeping things simple, we’re both still attracted to one
another.”
Great. She wanted to stamp her foot and tell him to leave, but she would only be proving his point. So now what?
“I…I don’t know what it is you want me to say to that,” she admitted. And if she wasn’t mistaken, he almost looked pleased.
“What I want is for you to tell me I’m not wrong, that this isn’t all completely one-sided.” Before she could answer, however, he started speaking again. “But I’ll understand if you’re not ready to yet. I can be patient, Vivienne, and I believe you’re worth waiting for.”
And then, in a move that took her totally by surprise, Matt leaned down and placed a whisper-soft kiss on her cheek before stepping back. “I know you have some shopping to do and errands to run. I’m going to go back over to Aaron’s and relax and maybe watch a little TV. When you’re ready to start working on dinner, let me know, and I’ll come over and help.”
All Vivienne could do was nod and watch him walk out the door.
* * *
Three days.
Three days since he’d pretty much bared his soul to her and nothing had changed. Well…not really.
There was a bit more ease between them, like they were truly becoming friends, but rather than making Matt happy, he was beginning to feel like he had misread the entire situation. And while he’d had every intention at the time of being patient and waiting until Vivienne was comfortable with admitting she wanted him just as much as he wanted her, he hadn’t counted on her holding him to it.
He had figured she’d leave that afternoon and go shopping and do whatever it was she had to do, and by the time they got back together for dinner, she’d tell him she didn’t want to wait. He had pretty much visualized the entire interaction right down to taking her up to her bedroom and peeling her out of her jeans and the sweater that had been making him crazy all through lunch.
Black lace.
He’d envisioned her in scraps of black lace under her clothes and he was going to gently, almost reverently, remove her bra—and then tear her panties from her body. And the entire time, Vivienne was going to tell him how much she’d wanted him and couldn’t wait any longer.
But had she? No.
They’d made dinner and talked about upcoming menu ideas and how she would present them in the magazine and on the blog. She asked about his favorite kinds of burgers and snacks. Then there was talk about sauces and condiments, spices and drinks. The more she talked about food, the more he began to realize just how seriously she took her job. She wasn’t looking at their time together as just for fun and hanging out; it was all business.
And definitely no pleasure.
And Matt was ready to lose his mind.
Patience be damned. Tonight he was going to turn the tables on her. Sort of. They had talked earlier about getting takeout for dinner—one of her writers backed out of an article, so Vivienne was writing it herself—and she wasn’t in the mood to cook. Matt had agreed but after coming back to Aaron’s, he had rummaged around and found a couple of really nice steaks in the freezer. Not everything Aaron had stocked was for cooking in the microwave, and Matt wasn’t a complete idiot. He knew how to grill, and he could easily handle a couple of baked potatoes and a salad.
Hopefully.
A quick glance at the clock showed it was almost five. He knew her schedule fairly well—and knew she was a creature of habit—so he was confident she’d be walking over in the next few minutes to discuss what they were going to order. He looked at the platter on the kitchen counter with pride. He had seasoned the steaks and they were ready to go on the grill. The potatoes were in the oven, and the salad was prepped and in the refrigerator.
And while he knew the saying was “the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach,” he was kind of counting on it working the other way around. Since Vivienne was a foodie, he hoped he could impress her by cooking a meal for her.
Right on cue, there was a knock on the back door, and he heard Vivienne call out to him.
“In here,” he replied, standing next to his surprise.
“So I was thinking Chinese would probably be—” She stopped when she spotted him. Matt couldn’t help but grin at the look of surprise on her face. “What…what’s this?”
“You’ve been cooking for me for well over a week now, and I thought it might be nice if I returned the favor.” When she started to speak, he held up a hand to stop her. “Now I’m not saying this meal will be anywhere near as amazing as what you can do, but I enjoy making steaks on the grill whenever I’m home or on a break from touring. I thought it might be a nice change of pace for you to let someone else do the work.”
He was feeling pretty confident until he noticed the tears in her eyes.
“Oh shit! Oh…Viv,” he began nervously. Closing the distance between them, he gently grasped her shoulders. “I…I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to upset you. I thought I was doing something nice and… Oh God…please don’t cry!”
Vivienne let out a small laugh before leaning forward and wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tight.
“Um…Viv?”
“I’m not upset, Matt,” she said and then pulled back to look up at him. “I am so incredibly touched you would do this.” Reaching up, she wiped her tears away. “No one has ever offered to cook for me. I think I scare people, and they think they have to compete or something. But honestly, no one has ever done something this thoughtful. Thank you.”
For a minute, he wasn’t sure if she was being serious or not, but after watching the way her smile lit up the room, he realized she was, and it filled him with pride.
He’d done that.
He, Matt Reed, had made Vivienne Forrester smile.
And it was a beautiful thing.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” she asked, looking around the kitchen.
“Nope,” he replied confidently. “No, wait… I’m lying. You can pour yourself a glass of wine and then join me outside while I grill. I know how much you enjoy eating out on the deck and the weather is being cooperative.”
“It sounds wonderful.” Doing as he asked, she poured herself some wine from the bottle he’d left out to breathe and then followed him outside. Once seated, she took a long sip and sighed.
And then giggled.
Matt looked over his shoulder at her. “What’s so funny?”
“I’m sorry. I just can’t believe this is happening.” She giggled again.
He looked at her in confusion.
“I can’t believe Matty Reed, world-famous rock star, is grilling a steak for me!” Another fit of giggles. “It just doesn’t feel real.”
After adjusting the flame on the grill, Matt put the platter down beside it and turned to face her. “First of all, that’s ridiculous. And second of all, I don’t want you to look at this that way.”
She instantly sobered. “I…I didn’t mean to offend you, Matt.”
He walked over to her and braced his arms on her chair, essentially caging her in. “I don’t want you looking at this like Matty Reed is doing anything. That’s not who I am. That guy? He isn’t here, and he hasn’t been since I showed up here with Aaron. I’m Matt. I’m the guy you grew up with.” His expression was fierce, he knew it, and when Vivienne’s eyes widened, he almost regretted his little outburst.
“Okay,” she said, her voice a little breathless. “That’s good.”
“Yeah,” he said, his voice a little gruff. His gaze zeroed in on her lips and it took every ounce of strength he had not to close the distance between them and kiss her. “Why?”
She swallowed hard and met his heated gaze. “Because I don’t want to be with that guy. I can’t say I particularly like Matty Reed. But you, Matt? I like being with you.”
Damn. Did she have any idea what her admission did to him? Everything in him went hot and he knew it wouldn’t be long before she’d notice exa
ctly how her words affected him.
“That’s good, Viv,” he said. “Because I like being with you. And I want…” He leaned in a little closer. “I need…” His lips were mere inches from hers. A hissing sound came from the grill and Matt cursed. How impressive would it be if he burned dinner? Slowly pushing himself away from her, he walked over to the grill and flipped the steaks over before excusing himself to get their place settings and check on the potatoes.
Once inside the kitchen, he had a brief, yet firm, mental talk with himself. So far the night was going exactly as he’d hoped. Vivienne was clearly relaxing around him and she was enjoying his surprise dinner. And if Matt was honest with himself, he’d have to say he was having a lot more fun making this meal than he’d thought possible. Maybe it was because of all the things Vivienne had been teaching him about food, or maybe it was because he knew he was pleasing her. Either way, he never knew dinner, especially one prepared by him, could almost be considered foreplay.
The oven timer beeped, and he walked to shut it off and grab the foil-wrapped potatoes from the oven. On the counter, he had a tray prepared that had the plates and silverware as well as a basket for the potatoes and small bowls of butter and sour cream. Not wanting to be away from the grill much longer, he quickly picked up the tray, stepped back outside, and placed it on the table.
“Here,” Vivienne said as she rose to her feet. “Let me set this stuff up while you check the steaks.”
Matt wasn’t going to argue. He lifted the lid on the gas grill and saw the steaks looked damn near perfect and he chuckled.
“What’s so funny?”
He looked over his shoulder at Vivienne and grinned. “I was just wishing we had your camera. I think these babies look good enough to go on the blog!”
She walked over and nodded in agreement right before pulling her cell phone from her pocket and tapping the camera app.
“Viv,” he began even as he laughed. “I was just kidding.”
“Nonsense,” she said, clicking a few pictures. “They are very impressive and I think this meal should be documented. After all, no one’s ever cooked for me, so even if we don’t put it on the blog, I’d like to have the pictures for my scrapbook.”
One More Kiss Page 13
