“You can’t create a portal,” Mom chimed in. She was standing now, with young Faith behind her, wrapped in her coat.
Faith whirled around and stomped toward Mom, as young Faith disappeared completely behind Mom’s skirts. She raised one long elegant finger up to Mom’s face. “You have one little trick you’ve figured out before me. That’s all. And when I’m through here, you’ll show me how you did it.”
“I won’t.” Mom’s voice was calm and resolute.
“Oh, but I’m banking on you being such a great mother . . .” Faith’s voice was cloying and full of venom. “Surely you’ll want to teach little Faith here all your tricks. You do plan on being a good mother, don’t you? You want her to grow up to be a good and decent girl.” She laughed.
Finn shook with rage. He couldn’t help himself. Regardless of what she could do to him, he was going to fight.
He stepped forward. “L-l-leave them alone!” His voice quaking as he shook with the cold.
She turned back to Finn and smiled. “You want me to leave them alone? Give me the ring.”
“No.”
“Finn,” his mother called to him. “It’s okay. Please. Give it to her.”
It was against everything in Finn’s makeup to believe in a magic key ring, but that was exactly what it had become for him. He didn’t want to hand it over, but when he studied Mom’s face he saw a certainty there that couldn’t be ignored. She was staring at him with laser focus. There was no fear in her eyes. She wanted him to do it.
He took off the ring and tossed it on the ground in front of him. It sank into the untouched snow.
Faith strode forward and fished it out, held it up like it was a symbol of victory. She smiled wide.
“Do you know what you are, brother? You’re a footnote.” In an instant she had moved forward so that they were face to face again. It was a menacing trick that worked just as well the second time. Her breath was hot in the icy air and smelled of licorice. She leaned in and whispered, “You are nothing but a useless collection of blood and guts. You are the leftover genetic material of me.”
He winced at the description. It was how he’d always felt.
She laughed. “Don’t you get it? I’m always smarter than you. I’m always three steps ahead of you. Technology you haven’t even dreamed of yet is at my disposal. I’m always going to win.”
“You’re wrong,” Mom said, still standing firmly in front of young Faith. “You need him. He’s your brother.”
Faith whirled toward her again. “Oh, are we going to talk about family honor? Please. You’re the worst of all! How many times have you abandoned me, let me go? I’ve seen it all, in countless timelines. I’ve seen how you’ve lived on without me. How little you’ve done to find me. You! Who could have done anything.”
“Faith, everything we’ve done—”
“You’ve done for me, right? Don’t lie to me, Mother. You sent me away. You gave me away to strangers! Do you even know what happened in that timeline? Do you? It doesn’t matter. I saved myself. I found some Dorset marble. It’s everywhere, up and down the eastern seaboard, allowing me to Travel. I bested you even without knowing who I was or where I came from.”
Mom’s voice faltered. “I don’t know—I never did that.”
“Oh, but you did, just not in this universe. I can see them all. Each and every timeline in each and every universe. I know you better than anyone. Do you know what your deepest sin is? The one that tops even abandoning your child? You have consistently sat by politely and watched the world go on its horrific way without using your power to change it. You stand by and do nothing while cities burn! I am not afraid to use my gift.”
“And what have you accomplished, Faith? What have you changed?”
Faith laughed. “I’ve only just started. I can close nodes to the rest of you—and still access them for myself. Soon I’ll have whole sections of the timeline sealed off for my own use. This timeline and all its neighbors will be mine alone to shape.”
She was busy arguing with Mom—Finn could rush her now. Tackle her to the ground and . . . and what? He had never been in a real fight in his life. In truth, he was petrified. She could come back and change any course of action he took. He couldn’t change the future or the past.
And then the memory came to him, the snippet of the dream. He saw himself being surrounded by swelling stars. Stars like the twinkling sunlight in drops of water. Mom’s voice from the past: People are who they are. All you can control is how you treat them. The shiny iridescent stars that keep growing and swelling ever larger, that was the best you could leave behind.
He looked at both Faiths. One was beyond reaching and the other would likely never remember today. His chances weren’t good.
He studied young Faith, and he saw innocence and fear. If this woman in front of him wouldn’t listen, maybe the child would.
He bent down low and called to her. “Faith . . .”
Both Faiths trained their eyes on him. He spoke only to the child.
“I’m sorry. We’re here because of me. Because of what I thought on the thread. It’s not your fault. I’m always going to love you, Faith. You’re my sister and I’m always going to love you. Do you understand?”
The little girl still stayed close to her mother, clutching Mom’s overcoat. Finn refused to look away until she acknowledged him in some way. She was trembling with both fear and cold, but she looked directly into Finn’s eyes and nodded nearly imperceptibly. He felt the understanding. Something inside Finn cracked and opened, made his chest explode in warmth and rippled through him all the way to his fingers.
It was similar to how he’d felt at the quarry, but bigger, more far-reaching. It was as if this moment synched up with countless others, as if it were the missing piece of an impossibly long equation. For a split second Finn felt as if he were an old man, and a teenager, and a little kid, and someone his dad’s age, and all the versions of him were saying the same thing—all sharing the same feeling, radiating the same truth.
Finn forced himself to turn away and see how Faith’s older self was handling the instant memory build. Finn watched as her mouth contorted and her eyes squinted with confusion. For a moment, Finn began to think that time didn’t matter at all. What mattered was memory. If he could change Faith’s memories, make this one stick with her, maybe this was the key.
Adult Faith focused back on him, suddenly full of fury and hatred. She held up both hands and screamed, “NO!”
Her gesture was so familiar to him, like he had experienced it from the other side at some point. The church. Aunt Billie.
Finn heard his mother scream in horror, “Faith, no! Please!” and then he heard nothing more.
Chapter 27
The pain was so bad Finn wanted to sink back into unconsciousness. Faith had pushed him out of the node. He was Traveling, but he was nowhere near the thread. It felt like a thousand sharp knives were being plunged into his brain as he was hurtling through nothingness. He knew he was screaming past nodes at an impossible speed. He couldn’t even try to fight it if he wanted to. His mind was incapable of doing anything but managing the searing pain inside his head.
He desperately searched for a thread. There was nothing near him, or maybe he was just going too fast. Faith had thrown him off the node, cast him outside the timeline with no anchor. He had no idea where he was going or if he’d ever land. This could be his eternity.
He remembered Aunt Ev’s stone in his pocket, only how could he grab it when he had no control over his body? Just trying to think about something as normal as moving his hands made the pain intensify. The blades in his head dug deeper and made it impossible to think. The realization came to him all at once: He wouldn’t survive this for long. No human being could.
With his last remnant of consciousness, he called out to Mom, Dad and then . . . Gabi.
With the thought of Gabi, the blades inside his head started to slow their attack.
Gabi. Gabi. Gabi.
He held on to the name like a beacon. Just get me back to Gabi.
He felt a brilliant burst of amber light. The color was gentle, like the sun through a filter of yellow and orange tree leaves on an autumn day. It appeared like an orb in front of him. He reached for it.
°°°
“He showed up here looking like this. He looks absolutely terrible. Is he okay?”
“He’ll be all right. Thank you, Sophia. I don’t know what we’d do if you hadn’t recognized him.”
“I still don’t quite understand it all.”
“I know. I’ll explain more in time. For now, can you promise to keep this secret for me? I know it’s a lot to ask. But he’ll be in terrible danger if you tell anyone.”
“Of course. I’ve kept them all, Liz. I won’t stop now.”
A warm, soft hand was caressing his forehead.
“Mom?” He forced open dry, crusty eyelids and found himself in Gabi’s living room.
Mom and Mrs. Rand were there. The fireplace was lit, but no other lights shone in the small space. He tried to pull himself up on his elbows but couldn’t find the strength. He felt like the husk of a human, dried-out and hollow. The confusion that surrounded him began to lift.
“Mom! You’re okay!” He croaked this out. The relief was almost too much for him to take. He was waking from a days-long bad dream. That must be it. He was still trying to find his voice. “I thought I was dying. I didn’t think I’d ever get back.”
“It’s okay, Finn. I’m going to take you back home now.”
“Where’s Faith? Where’s Gabi? Are they okay?”
There was an awkward pause and then Mom answered, “Gabi is upstairs sleeping in her bed. Don’t worry.”
“How did she get off the mountain?”
Mrs. Rand shot his mother a look of fear. “Were you on the mountain together, Finn?”
“Yes! We found the tree, just like Gran said. I brought Faith to you and the tree—it didn’t take Gabi!”
Mom grabbed Finn’s hand tightly and turned to Mrs. Rand. “I just had the idea. The fact that he’s here tells me it’s a good one. I haven’t even fully hashed it out yet. Gabi is safe upstairs. I promise.”
Finn was surprised at the obvious closeness between his mother and Mrs. Rand. This was something he had never witnessed before. They’d always been acquaintances at most.
Mom returned her attention to Finn. “Gabi is upstairs asleep, Finn. It’s the year Gabi moved in. You somehow found yourself here and that’s good. You made it. I can take you the rest of the way home. What year did you come from, Finn?”
If this was back in third grade, that could only mean that back in his time everything was as messed up as he left it. The crevice in his chest began to open, threatening to swallow him whole once more. That moment of elation had been too cruel. He looked at Mrs. Rand and could see that her hair was shaggier, longer. The way it was when he first met Gabi.
“When did you come from?” Mom asked again.
Home had never been a year coordinate before. It had always been a street address. In this new life he realized he now had two addresses. He had a hard time focusing. “It’s September . . . before my thirteenth birthday. Mom, things are bad—”
“Shhh. I know, baby. I know. We’ll talk as we Travel.” She turned to Mrs. Rand. “I’ll be right back. Don’t worry about this. I will make sure they’re okay.”
At the thought of Traveling again, an involuntary shudder took over Finn’s body. The movement also re-triggered pain. Every joint and muscle seized. “But I can’t climb to the tree and she—she has the ring!”
“What—? Never mind. It’s fine. It’s going to be easy this time. Don’t you worry.” She grabbed his hand tightly, and the glow of the fireplace turned into the blaring white light that Finn was beginning to recognize all too well.
Chapter 28
It was just as Mom promised. The trip was smooth, like he was traveling with young Faith again. Almost like floating. The light was still there, but it was more of a glow now. The roaring sound that Finn had associated with it was just a soft background hum. It droned on in a comforting kind of way, like the sound of tires hitting the seams in the highway while he slept curled up in the backseat of his parents’ car.
He could feel Mom reaching out to him. He reached back.
“This must be much easier for you this time, yes?”
“Yeah. It was hard before, but this time when Faith pushed me out—it was horrible.”
“She pushed you? How?”
“She just raised her arms and held out her hands . . .” And Finn remembered the terror on Aunt Billie’s face when he had made the same gesture. Aunt Billie must have seen Faith do it to someone.
“Mom, Aunt Billie is working with Doc.”
“I know. She doesn’t matter right now. Tell me more about being pushed out by Faith.”
Finn thought hard, and as he did the slow comforting drone became louder.
“No, never mind. Stop remembering, Finn. We need to stay on track. I was afraid of this. If Faith can push people out of nodes, that complicates things.”
Finn began to wonder how much time they had to talk. He felt the need to tell Mom as much as he could. “Mom. I’m so sorry. I let her have the ring.”
“What ring?”
“The ring. The key! The one you gave to me.”
Finn could feel his mother’s confusion billowing softly in the warm air around him. Emotions here were tangible. Maybe understanding all of this was just like understanding physics—there was a quantum layer no one could yet comprehend, dark matter yet to be explained.
“Mom?” He desperately wanted her to make things clear.
“Finn. I haven’t been there yet. You’re going to have to have patience with me. I haven’t done any of those things. A lot of what you’re saying does make sense, though. I’ve been working on a plan for some time now.”
“Mom . . .” He had to tell her, before he lost the opportunity or the nerve. “She has you. She has a knife.”
“A knife?” Her tone was more surprised than frightened. “What would she need that for?”
“She’s bad, Mom. She’s . . . she’s evil.”
“No one is all evil, Finn. Remember that. Promise me that you’ll remember that.”
Finn remembered the look on Faith’s face when she had pushed him out of the node. It was hard to imagine that she could be anything but evil. And yet he also couldn’t forget young Faith, the way she looked at him when he told her he loved her, the feeling that they’d had a moment of connection that nothing could erase.
“When you get back, you’re going to have to trust your father. Will you do that for me?”
“Mom, he’s not even there.”
“He’ll be there. Trust him and follow his lead.”
Understanding washed over Finn. Dad had gone somewhere to deal with all this. The library had been a cover story. Wherever Dad really was, he had a good reason for dropping off the radar.
Finn sent her his quiet acceptance through the space between them. He could feel her love and warmth surround him in response. It was an indescribable sensation that his soul would long for for the rest of his life. There was no way to respond to it with words. Even I love you would fall short.
“You won’t be there when I get back, will you?”
There was no answer, only another wave of love with a deep longing in it this time—so deep that whenever Finn remembered this moment later in his life, his chest would physically ache in response.
Chapter 29
Arriving at the node was the same as before. The roar of the light, the blinding, and then the moment of getting used to having a physical boundary again.
He knew without looking that Mom wasn’t there. “Gabi?”
It was the first thing he forced his mouth to say. When he opened his eyes he could see her breaking free from someone’s grasp to run to him. She crouched down beside him and bolstered him up by w
edging her shoulder under his arm. His legs were weak, but with her help he managed to stand.
Mr. Wells was still there. He started to approach them, but a familiar voice said, “No, leave them alone.”
It was Doc.
Finn’s anger hit him like gale-force wind, overwhelming any fear he had of Wells and his gun. “You did this. You’ve made her into what she is.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about, son.”
“Do NOT call me son!” Finn spat out the words like they were poison on his tongue.
He broke away from Gabi and stood on his own, though Gabi still held on to his hand. He was glad of it; he’d rather he be between her and Doc.
“I want you to leave my family alone. You may have fooled Gran, but I know what you are and what you’ve done.”
“Finn, you don’t know what I’ve done or haven’t done. It’s all different now. Don’t you see? You don’t know what ISTA has been trying to achieve.”
“I. Don’t. Care.”
“Listen, s—” He corrected himself. “Finn, you’re going to have to show us how to use the tree. We need it. We need it to stop Faith. We need it to right things in the timeline.”
“You stole my sister, you destroyed my family, and now you expect me to help you?” Finn pointed at Wells. “I suppose his job is to make me trust you?”
Wells had his gun drawn, his mouth turned down on both sides with determination. Finn had his eyes on Wells’s hand when he saw something move farther back in the woods. Something big, coming fast and effortlessly through the smaller tree growth. Doc Lovell was still talking, but Finn wasn’t listening. The shadow began to take human form, long legs and arms, a woman striding toward them.
Faith.
She was a bit older than the adult version he’d seen before. Stronger, more full of horrifying purpose. Red hair flying out behind her and a look on her face that was all fury.
Gabi saw her next. Finn only knew because she squeezed his hand tighter. Finn couldn’t look away from Faith. She was headed straight for him and he could do nothing to stop her. Running would mean nothing—you can’t outrun someone who is ten steps ahead of you. Years ahead of you.
A Time Traveler's Theory of Relativity Page 16
