by Claire Adams
“We’ll go in a minute,” Ash says. “Jeez. The guy’s bloody here.”
“It’s a shame we had to meet like this,” I tell Ash. “I usually wear a lot more clothes and fewer open wounds.”
Am I flirting with her? Sure, she’s gorgeous with her wavy hair, turquoise eyes, and absolutely slamming body, but Jana’s standing right there.
“How often do you fight?” Ash asks, rolling her eyes a little.
“Once every couple weeks,” I tell her. “If you’re talking about sparring, too, then I fight just about every day.”
“It’s not a very safe sport, is it?” she asks.
“Could you tell that from the fact that we’re still bandaging Mason up instead of being out, having fun and humiliating ourselves in public for the shot of having one-nighters with some guys who we’re never going to want to see again, like normal people?” Jana whines.
“I’ve survived this long,” I tell Ash.
Jana groans loudly.
“Well,” Ash says, “the good news is that you’re not going to need stitches. There’s a spot where the cut’s a bit deeper and that’s where you’re getting most of the blood. The rest of it’s basically a glorified scratch.”
“Really?” I ask. “I was half-expecting you to go for the sewing needle.”
“Cuts on the head tend to bleed a great deal, even with smaller cuts than what you’ve got,” Ash says. “A bandage should be enough, assuming you’re not going to mess with it.”
“Condescend much?” I ask, smiling.
“I’ve found it’s best to assume whoever you’re working on is going to go out and do the stupidest thing they can possibly do unless you tell them not to,” she answers and presses a gauze bandage over the wound. “At least,” she says, “that’s my experience with guys like you.”
“Guys like me, huh?” I ask. “What are guys like me like?”
“I have no idea,” she says, “but I know you’re dumb enough to put yourself in that ring to get punched in the face, so I just figured it’d be good to cover my bases.”
“Ooh, you are spicy,” I tell her. “I like that.”
“And we’re done here,” Jana says, walking toward the other side of the room and into another one.
“She’s not getting a gun, is she?” I ask.
“I guess we’re about to find out,” Ash says, pulling the gloves off of her hands.
Ash gets up and walks to yet another room, and I think it’s time for me to go.
“Here,” Jana says, coming out of the other room with clothes in her hand, dragging on the floor behind her. “I don’t want my neighbors to see you running around half-naked.” She tosses the clothes at me.
“Hey, thanks,” I tell her. “I really wasn’t looking forward to going back out there in the cold without anything on.”
“They’re yours, anyway,” she says. “I found ‘em when I was moving and didn’t really care enough to get them back to you.”
“Oh stop,” I tease. “If you don’t stop it with the sugary words, I’m going to need a toothbrush.”
“I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean,” she says.
I just shrug. It made more sense before I said it, sure, but I’d say I’m still doing all right given the situation.
“You’re still here,” Ash says, coming out of what I’m assuming is her room.
“Yeah,” I tell her, “I’m just getting ready to take off, though. Thanks for patching me up like that. It was a little weird and pretty uncomfortable, but you did me a huge favor and I appreciate it.”
“Oh, will you just go?” Jana asks.
“It was nice to meet you,” Ash says. “Try not to get hit in the face so much. You keep doing that too much, and eventually it’s going to spoil your beauty.”
Is she flirting with me?
I can’t imagine that she would be. As much as guys like me try to tell ourselves that women love a man who’s bruised and bloody, the truth of the matter—in my experience at least—is that most women just look at you, make a disgusted face, and try to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible.
“Such as it is,” she adds after the long interval.
“Yeah,” I say, “well. I appreciate it. Are you sure I can’t pay you for your time?”
“Unless you’re hiding it somewhere I’d rather not think about, you don’t have a wallet,” she says.
“Fair point,” I tell her. “Well,” I stick my hand out to shake hers, “thanks again.”
She looks down at my hand and shakes her head.
“Nice to meet you, Mason,” she says.
“Okay, can we go now?” Jana asks, and I’m starting to think that I’ve outworn my welcome. “Get your clothes on and get out of our way.”
“You know, I remember you being nicer,” I tell her.
“That was when I liked you,” she says.
I quickly slip on the white t-shirt and sweats I apparently left at Jana’s old place and turn to the door, opening it.
“So, where are you two ladies headed this evening?” I ask.
“None of your business,” Jana answers.
“Neptune,” Ash answers. “It’s a new club that just opened up in Milwaukee.”
“Getting kind of a late start if you’re heading out of town, aren’t you?” I ask.
“Ha!” Jana exclaims.
Ash locks the door to their apartment and we walk down the hall and out the side door of the building.
“Well, I guess this is it,” I tell them.
“I swear, if you give another big, long goodbye, you’re going to have another bruise on your face,” Jana says.
“And I guess that should about do it,” I say. “See ya.”
“Hold on,” Ash says. “I think the corner’s coming loose on that bandage. Hold still.”
“Will you hurry up?” Jana complains. “By the time we get there, we’re only going to have like an hour.”
“This will just take a second,” Ash says.
“So, is Ash short for something or are your parents Evil Dead fans?” I ask.
“My full name’s Ashley,” she says, patting down one corner of the bandage on my forehead.
“Good to know,” I say. It’s kind of awkward having this near-stranger attend to me like this, but not awkward enough to complain.
“Well,” Ash says, “that should about do it. You have yourself a good night, Mason. Try not to get into any fights on the way home.”
“If only I could promise that,” I smile.
“I’m going to the car,” Jana says as she turns and starts walking away. “If you’re not there by the time I get it put in gear, I’m coming around the block to run over both of you.”
“She doesn’t like you very much, does she?” Ash asks.
“I think it’s because you’ve spent all this time flirting with me,” I tell her.
“Oh, I’ve been flirting with you?” she asks.
“Pretty brazenly,” I answer. “I was going to say something, but I was just so shocked by how incredibly attractive you find me.”
“You’re actually going to walk away thinking that, aren’t you?” she asks.
“What if I am?” I ask.
She shakes her head, putting her hands in her pockets. “Then you probably should go to the hospital, because I think you must have gotten kicked in the head a few too many times,” she says. She pulls her hands out of her pockets as I’m starting to turn to walk away and she says, “Hey, just one more thing.”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“I was rude to you before,” she says. “You offered me your hand and I didn’t shake it.”
“Oh,” I say, furrowing my brow a little. I extend my hand once more and this time she takes it, only there’s something in her hand and she’s closing my fingers around it as she’s pulling her hand away.
“Have a good night,” she says. “Be safe out there.”
“Yeah,” I answer. “You, too.”
> She jogs away toward wherever Jana has the car, and I’m headed back toward home, my hand still closed around the folded paper in my hand.
I wait until I’m back between the buildings on the other side of the road before I start unfolding it. By the time I’ve got it open, it’s too dark for me to see what’s written on it, but it doesn’t take long before I’m back within range of the streetlights.
It’s Ash’s phone number.
I’m not quite sure how I managed that, but I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth.
Tonight turned out to be a pretty good night.
Chapter Two
Surprises
Ash
“Just give me a minute,” Jana says. “I promise, you’re going to be so excited when I tell you.”
“Then why not just tell me now?” I ask as she continues to push me backward toward the couch.
“I have to make a quick call first,” she oozes. “It’ll just take a minute.”
With that, my calves hit the front of the couch and I fall back into a somewhat awkward sitting position.
“Stay right there,” she says.
“I was going to run to the store for a few things,” I tell her. “Can it wait until I get back?”
“No,” she says. “Just stay there. I promise it’ll be worth it.”
She leaves the room.
There’s a reason I’m putting up such a fight. When it comes to surprises, Jana’s got a perfectly awful record. The things that would actually make for great surprises, she just blurts out. When she says I’m going to be “so excited” about anything, I start getting a little nervous.
We’re really different, Jana and I. Sometimes I wonder if we’d be friends if we didn’t go to elementary school together.
She’s a good person and everything; she’s just kind of erratic. When she told me she was looking at moving into a two-bedroom apartment, asking me if I wanted to be her roommate, I was a little hesitant.
It wasn’t until I’d made her swear a blood oath over a schedule of chores that I felt comfortable moving in with her.
Jana comes back into the room, saying, “Well, I guess I probably could have just told you. My mom’s coming to visit.”
“Oh,” I say, really trying to project some kind of enthusiasm. “For how long?”
“That’s the thing,” Jana says. “I wanted to talk to you about this first, but time was kind of a thing, so…” she trails off.
“Jana, how long is your mother staying?” I ask again sternly.
“It’s not like it’s really that long when you think about it,” she says as if she’s already answered my question. “I mean, she is my mom and everything. You said you’d be cool with it if she came to visit every once in a while.”
“Jana,” I say, “how long?”
“A few months,” she answers, “and I know that sounds like a lot, but when you really think about it, I mean, I was living with her for like eighteen years. Besides, my mom’s awesome. Everybody loves her.”
The best policy is to not respond to statements like that.
“You’re not mad, are you?” she asks, wincing.
“When does she get here?” I ask.
“That’s what I was calling about,” Jana says. “She said she’ll be here in like half an hour.”
“Half an hour?!” I blurt. “You couldn’t give me a little more notice than half an hour?”
“Whatevs,” Jana says. “Just chill, okay? Will you?”
She’s doing her “don’t be a turd in the punch bowl” routine, but I don’t want to hear it.
“When we decided to be roommates,” I start, “we agreed that if your mother was going to stay with us, you’d give me time to make other plans.”
“What’s your thing with my mom, anyway?” Jana asks. “She’s never been anything but nice to you.”
“I never said she wasn’t,” I answer. “You just,” I stammer, “I mean, we’re supposed to communicate about this stuff, you know? Now I have half an hour before your mom gets here? Not cool, Jana.”
“I promise, if you’ll just spend a little time with her while she’s here, you two are going to finally get past whatever problem you have with each other and everything’s gonna be totally—” Jana stops.
My phone’s ringing.
“Hold on,” I tell her, “I’ve got to take this.”
I make a quick retreat to my room, and I don’t even bother checking to see who’s calling before I answer.
“I’ll give you fifty bucks if you can get me out of here,” I tell whoever’s on the other end of the line.
“Everything okay?” a man’s voice comes back.
“Who is this?” I ask, pulling my phone back a bit to find I don’t recognize the number.
“It’s Mason,” the man says.
“Mason?” I ask. “Mason who?”
“Is this Ash, short for Ashely, the chick who bandaged me up the other night?” the man asks and it finally clicks.
“Oh, Mason,” I say.
“Yeah,” he says. “You gave me your number, so I thought I’d call and see if you want to get together sometime.”
“Now’s good,” I tell him.
“Now?” he asks. “I’m not ready just now. Can you give me a little bit?”
“How long do you need?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” he says, “maybe half an hour or so?”
Half an hour?
“No,” I tell him. “It’s got to be sooner. I don’t have time to get into it right now, but I would really love an excuse that would get out of here right now.”
“All right,” he says. “Let’s meet up at Sherry’s on Eighth. You might have to wait a little bit for me to get there, but at least you’ll be away from wherever you are.”
“Sounds great,” I tell him. “See you soon.”
I hang up.
I’d given Mason my phone number to mess with Jana, telling her I was thinking about hooking up with her ex, but right now, I could just about kiss him.
Coming out of my room, I don a disappointed look.
“What’s the matter?” Jana asks.
“I forgot,” I tell her. “Mason and I have plans right now.”
“You’re hooking up with Mason?” Jana asks. “You’re joking.”
“I don’t know if I’d call it hooking up, but we do have plans,” I tell her. “That was him on the phone. It totally slipped my mind, but we’re supposed to have dinner together. I should really get going.”
“Well, give him a call back and tell him he’s gonna have to wait for a while,” Jana says. “You’ve got to at least say ‘hi’ to my mom and help us get her stuff up here.”
“How much ‘stuff’ is she bringing?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” Jana says, “probably enough to make her comfortable for four or five months.”
“Four or five months?” I blurt. “No way!”
“Come on, Rumple Fugs,” she says, and I’m balling my fists.
“You know that nickname undermines my confidence,” I seethe.
Jana’s smirking as her phone starts to ring.
“It’s probably Mason,” she says. “He’s probably calling to rub in the fact that you’re going out with him now.”
That sends a pang of guilt through me. Jana’s exceptional at that when she wants to be.
Jana answers the phone and walks off a little ways as I sink into the couch. On the one hand, this is a perfect opportunity for me to make my escape, but if that actually is Mason calling to shove our dinner plans in her face, I’d rather know about it so I can be sure to never see him again.
“…all right, I’ll talk to you soon,” Jana says. “Bye.” She hangs up the phone and comes back over to me, asking, “What were we talking about?”
“Was that him?” I ask.
“No,” Jana says. “You’re really going to take off, aren’t you?”
“Only if you’re okay with it,” I tell her. “I should have ask
ed if you’d be okay with me seeing him. How long did the two of you date?”
She turns her head and folds her arms. “It doesn’t matter,” she says. “My mom’s on her way and you want to ditch us for my ex before she’s even got here.”
“Gotten,” I correct. It’s a waste of time: She never learns. Still, habits are habits. “If you don’t want me to go out with him, I won’t go out with him,” I tell her, “but please don’t make me live under a roof with your mother for months on end.”
“Just go,” Jana says. “I’m sure mom and I can lug all her stuff to the apartment all by ourselves. She’s going to be so sad that you’re not here, though. She loves the crap out of you.”
“She does not,” I respond. “The only times your mom and I have even had a full conversation, she was stoned out of her mind.”
“Well, that’s not really telling me much,” Jana says. “Mom’s always stoned.”
“You can see why that might be a problem,” I tell her.
“Well, at least you got to know her a bit,” Jana says.
“Yeah,” I scoff. “She told me about how she followed Jefferson Airplane on tour when they did that reunion in the eighties. Apparently, they never let her backstage, but she did end up making it with a roadie at some point.”
Jana giggles and shakes her head. “Moms,” she says, smiling.
“Listen,” I tell her, “if you don’t want me to see Mason, I won’t, but I’m not going to stick around to wait for your mother to ‘cleanse my aura’ with burning sage. That stuff gives me a headache.”
Jana sighs. “It’s not like Mason and I were a big deal or anything,” she says. “It’s just a little weird. I mean, if you want to see him, go ahead. We’re cool, but come on. You’ve got to at least wait and say hi to my mom. She’s going to be here whenever you get back anyway, so it’s not like you’re really getting away with anything. Just stay until she gets here, okay?”
“Well…” I start, but Jana’s phone starts ringing again.
“Just a sec,” Jana says and answers the call. “Hey, did you find it? Great. Just stay on Fairfax until you get to Twelfth Street and then take a left. We’re in the Green Village Apartments. We’ll be outside. Okay, bye.” Jana hangs up the phone and turns back to me. “That was mom. She’s about ten minutes out.”
