by J. L. Wilder
Dan laughs, but it sounds nothing like his normal laugh. It’s skittish. He’s uncertain. I feel him swallow where my hand is pressed against his throat. “Your boyfriend?” he says. “Is that what you think he is?”
“Let him go,” I growl, my bear self dangerously near the surface. I could shift right now and sink my claws into his neck. Maybe he hears it in my voice. I hope he does. I want him to.
“Stand down, Jacie,” Dan says. “Put the knife away.” It’s a command.
I don’t obey. I press the knife point harder into his skin and feel moisture. A bead of blood, trickling down my finger.
One of the bears lunges away from the tangled fight they were all engaged in, toward Dan, toward me. A thrill of fear races up my spine, but before the bear can get within ten feet of us, another bear has dragged him or her back by the ankle. Both bears are snarling. Was the attacker trying to help Dan or me? I can’t be sure. All I know for certain is that their fight has them too engaged with each other to break free. Alex is immobile on the ground, staring up at us. Caleb has stopped struggling.
It’s just Dan and me.
“Let him go,” I say again. “Let him move.”
“Put the knife down,” he tries again, more forcefully.
“It doesn’t work on me,” I say. “I don’t have to do anything you say, Dan. I don’t have to put the knife down. I don’t have to bear your cubs. I don’t have to stay in your house.” I lean in as close as I can and hiss into his ear, “You have no power over me.”
“What did you do?” he asks, and for the first time, there’s real fear in his voice. “How did you break my hold?”
“You never had a hold on me.” I tighten my own hold, my arm pulling his tighter behind his back. “Let Caleb go now, or we’ll find out where the real power lies in this pack.”
“You’re just a little girl with a switchblade,” he breathes. “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into, Jacie. It’s not too late to put that thing down, you know. People make mistakes. It’s not too late to walk it back.”
“This isn’t a mistake,” I tell him. “It’s your last chance. Everyone deserves freedom. Alphas aren’t meant to use their power to force their packmates to sit and be good. If you had any real loyalty from these people, you wouldn’t have to use force. Let him go. Now.” And I twist the point of the knife, just a little, just enough.
“All right, all right!” Dan yells. “Caleb, do what you like.”
Caleb’s posture doesn’t change at all. I can’t be sure what that means. “Are you okay?” I call over to him.
His face is like stone. “I’m fine. Come here. We should go.”
I don’t want to go. I’m not ready for this to be over. “Let Alex go too,” I say to Dan.
Caleb’s breathing is fast. He strides across the ground to his sister. His hand lands on her shoulder. “Are you hurt?” he asks her urgently.
“I’m fine, I just—” she strains to sit up. Under the oppressive force of Dan’s orders, she can’t do it. He is quite literally keeping her down.
Caleb looks up at Dan, who has begun to struggle in my arms. “Let her up.”
Dan huffs out a laugh. “I don’t have to listen to you. You’re not actually going to use that knife on me.” I feel his glance cut sideways to me. “You’re going to have to kill me if you want me dead, girl. Your boyfriend—” sarcasm drips from the word— “isn’t going to do it for you. I’m his alpha. He can’t kill his alpha. It’s not possible.”
“You didn’t think I could hold a knife to your throat either,” I point out.
“I’m not your alpha. We know I’m his. You see how he obeys me.” He calls out to Caleb. “Sit, boy.”
Caleb sits, a red flush heating up his face. Dan chuckles. His confidence is returning. He enjoys humiliating these people. His pack. His family. He likes it. I’m sickened.
“Do you want me to kill you?” I ask. “Are you trying to make me do it?”
“You won’t do it.” He’s gaining confidence by the minute. I don’t think this is bravado. He knows he’s right. To tell the truth, he probably is. Threatening him with the knife is one thing, but to actually murder him? That would be beyond what I could take. I’m not a killer, and Dan knows it.
And in that moment, I’m finished. His hand closes around my wrist and he gives a firm shake. I drop the knife into the dirt. He pulls me around in front of him, pressing me up against his body, and I’m excruciatingly aware, all of a sudden, that we’re naked. He brought me out here to the middle of the woods for a reason, and now everyone who wants to protect me is immobilized. I’ve lost my knife. I’ve lost the element of surprise. I can’t even access my bear self—it seems so far away, and as his arms tighten around me, as I reach out for the bear, I can only find human weakness and fear. I have no defenses left.
But I’m not out of this yet.
I slam my heel down and make contact midfoot, and twist violently in his grip. If he’d wrapped his hands around my biceps I’d be finished, but he’s holding my torso instead, allowing me to turn sideways and slip out of his grasp. I drop to the ground, hoping to throw him off by not being where he expects me to be.
And then I feel his weight on top of me. “Stupid girl,” he breathes into my ear. “Stupid, stupid girl. I hope the cubs have my brains.” He grabs a handful of my hair and pulls my head back. “Wouldn’t mind them having your looks, though. Little pale grizzlies. Could be cute, right?”
All the fighting has broken up. Everyone is watching us. I kick my feet, trying to scramble away from him, but he grabs my arm and flips me onto my back, and he’s learned from his mistakes because, this time, he does pin my arms down. I try to bring my knee up into his groin, but he dodges and laughs. “No one ever taught you how to fight, did they? We’ll have to do that sometime. After we make sure your loyalty is intact, of course. I don’t know what’s wrong with that tattoo, but don’t you worry, we’ll get it fixed for you.”
I whip my head around desperately, looking for the silver glint of the knife, looking for a big rock, anything large enough to hurt. I grab a handful of dirt and throw it in his face, hoping to blind him long enough to get away, but it doesn’t work. He roars—he’s angry now, he’s not playing with me anymore—and slaps me across the face, hard. I can’t help it. I cry out.
“Jacie!” Caleb’s voice is pure anguish.
Him being here, seeing this, makes it so much worse. I should never have left Blind River. I wish I had never found love at all. Aiden was going to use me just like this, but knowing what real, genuine love feels like makes it a new level of excruciating. Before I knew Caleb, I was only ever tolerated. Now I know what it’s like to feel special. Cherished.
But how will he be able to look at me the same way after this?
“Please don’t,” I beg, hating what I’ve been reduced to. “Please don’t do this, Dan. I’ll do anything. Let’s go back to the house, and I’ll...we can do it in your room. Privately. I won’t fight. I’ll do whatever you want. Just not like this.”
For a moment, he doesn’t answer, and I actually allow myself to believe that he might be considering it. I don’t want him. I’ll never want him. But it doesn’t have to be violent. It doesn’t have to be public. I’ll pretend to go along with it, I’ll pretend to want it, if it saves me from this.
But he shakes his head. “I’ve waited long enough,” he says. “And I have no power over you. You said it yourself. I can’t trust you to keep your word.”
“If you didn’t rely on your power for everything,” I say, “you might have learned to trust me. We might have become friends.” I doubt it. But I’ll say anything. The realization makes me sick.
“Don’t worry,” Dan says, his hands tightening around my wrists. “It’ll be over soon enough.”
And he moves his body over mine.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Without warning, a roar splits the night.
I see light above me. The stars. The mo
on, shining down. For a moment, I can’t process anything. What just happened? Why am I suddenly looking at the night sky? Why am I breathing in lungsful of oxygen that feel fresher than any I’ve ever tasted in my life?
I look around.
Dan has been thrown off me, pinned to the ground now by a giant bear.
The bear is terrible to behold. Its eyes are narrowed, teeth exposed. Its claws, I can see, are buried in Dan’s chest—not deep enough to mortally wound, but certainly deep enough to compel him to lie still. Who could be doing this? I thought Dan had forced everyone back...
There’s a hand on my arm. I look up. Alex. She’s picked herself up off the ground. Should she even be able to do that? Dan definitely ordered her to stay down. She was just struggling to get up. Now, here she is beside me, looking like it’s effortless.
“Come on, Jacie,” she says. “Come with me.”
I’m too confused to argue. I’m too confused to even ask any questions. I let her pull me upright and out of the circle, into the protection of the trees. Some of the others follow us with their eyes, but nobody makes a move, and everyone’s gaze returns to Dan, pinned on the ground.
Once we’re out of the center of things, Alex looks me over. “Are you all right?”
“I’m okay, I think.”
“You’re not hurt?”
“Just shaken up.”
She nods. She hasn’t taken her hand off my shoulder, and it occurs to me that I’m glad for it. It’s not the kind of touch that feels restrictive. She’s steadying me.
“We should go get the clothes,” she says. “Caleb has this under control, I think.”
I whip around. “That’s Caleb?”
“Of course, it is,” she says, sounding surprised. “You don’t know?”
And now that she says it, of course I know. Of course, I feel that magnetism, that pull to his body. The fear and the adrenaline must have covered this feeling enough that I failed to notice it, but now, once again, it’s strong. “How is he doing that?” I ask wonderingly. “Dan didn’t rescind his last command. He told Caleb to sit—”
“I know,” Alex says. “I don’t know what’s going on. Suddenly I could move too. It shouldn’t be possible. But whatever’s going on, I really think we should go get our clothes. No point standing around naked in the forest.”
“You go.” I’m not going to leave Caleb.
Alex seems to read my thoughts. “I don’t think you can help him now. I... I’m not sure he needs any help now.”
“The others are still out there,” I point out. “Anything could happen.”
She squeezes my hand. “I’ll be quick.”
And true to her word, she is. The situation in the clearing hasn’t even changed by the time Alex returns, loping along in bear form, a stack of clothes clutched in her mouth. She shifts and begins to dress, and I follow suit. After the events of tonight it’s a relief to have clothes on, to be covered. Alex knew it would be, I realize. She did this to help me feel safe. I experience a rush of affection for her.
In the clearing, suddenly, the bear on top of Dan shifts. Caleb resumes his human form. “Nobody move,” he pants.
“Miles,” Dan calls, “get this traitor off of me.”
My eyes dart to Miles. He twitches but doesn’t move.
“Miles!” Dan yells.
“Don’t talk to him,” Caleb growls. “Don’t you talk to any of them. And I’d better not see you so much as look at Jacie. Do you understand? Say you understand.”
“I understand.” The words grind out of Dan’s mouth, and it sounds as if they’re physically hurting him to say. There’s a sudden movement from the tree line and I gasp, fearful, but it’s just Miles shifting back to his human form. The others follow his lead. Bill and Mary catch Luce by the arms, but she isn’t struggling against them. She’s standing still, mouth agape, staring at the scene playing out in front of her.
“What’s going on?” I whisper to Alex. I don’t want anyone’s attention turning to us.
“Their allegiance is shifting to Caleb,” she whispers back, awestruck. “Our allegiance, I mean. I feel it too.”
“You mean...” I know what she means, but it seems too good to be true. I can’t make myself say it.
“I mean he’s the alpha now. He overpowered Dan. Everyone’s loyalty is to Caleb now.”
“So, you don’t have to obey Dan’s orders? None of you?”
“I don’t think so,” she says, and she sounds excited. “You saw what happened with Miles. He didn’t have to do what Dan told him to, but when Caleb gave an order, he obeyed right away. And that wasn’t by choice.”
“That’s true.” Miles would never turn on Dan by choice. “What happens now?”
But it’s already happening. Joe is walking forward, slowly, having shifted from his bear self back to his human self. He approaches Caleb and Dan slowly, and for the first time I can see the wisdom his years of living must have given him. Now he rests a hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “Stand down, son.”
“He was going to—Jacie—”
As I listen to Caleb struggle to formulate a coherent sentence, I realize just how worked up he really is. I step out past the tree line, out to where he can see me. “Caleb.”
Caleb turns. I cross to his side, and then we’re in each other’s arms. The weight of him is solid and safe and reassuring, and after all I’ve been through tonight, now, for the first time, I feel myself begin to break down.
“Oh, honey—” Caleb smooths a hand over the back of my head. I feel him picking away the leaves and dirt that caught in my hair when I was on the ground. It feels like being restored. I press my face against his chest and sob, and he holds me, and for a long time it feels like just the two of us are here.
Joe speaks again. “Someone help me.”
I turn my head against Caleb, resting my cheek on his chest now. Dan is on his feet—he must have gotten up when Caleb moved away from him—but now, with surprising strength, Joe has driven him back and pinned him against a tree. Luce lunges in Bill and Mary’s arms, but together they force her backward and press her against a tree of her own. Miles, of course, can do nothing.
“Luce,” Caleb says, “be still.”
The rage shows on her face, but she doesn’t move. I feel a surge of satisfaction. Let them all see how it feels to be ordered around.
Dan isn’t struggling. He isn’t even trying to get away from Joe’s grip. Caleb doesn’t bother issuing a command in that direction. Alex crosses the clearing and helps Joe use his shirt to tie Dan’s wrists together.
Caleb’s arms haven’t loosened around me. One hand slides down to my back and rubs gentle circles there. The full weight of everything that’s happened tonight is settling on me, heavy and exhausting, and it feels like my body weighs a million pounds. I could sink into the Earth right now. I could fall asleep and never wake up.
There are voices around me, much calmer than any voice has been in a long time. People are having practical conversations. No one is fighting. “We need to get her home,” someone says, and a hand that isn’t Caleb’s touches my shoulder. It’s okay. It’s gentle and warm. Motherly. “She’s had a shock.”
“Can she ride?” That’s Caleb. I hate to hear him sound so upset. Shouldn’t he be happy?
“I’m not sure if it’s safe,” the woman says. “I wouldn’t want her to fall.”
Caleb is leaving me. His warm body, the center of my world, pulling away. I cling harder. Don’t go.
“It’s all right, Jacie,” he says, lifting my hand to kiss it. “I’m taking you home.”
He shifts before my eyes. I’m standing face to face with a fully-grown grizzly bear, his head level with mine, his snout long and imposing, and the kind eyes I recognize from the face of my lover.
He lowers himself to the ground and I understand what I’m supposed to do. I climb onto his back.
“He’ll take you as far as the city limits, and then he’ll have to shift,” Mary says. She hand
s me a men’s shirt and a pair of jeans. “We’ll see you at home, Jacie. I’m so glad you’re all right.”
I want to answer her, to thank her for keeping Miles and Luce away from me and out of the fight between Dan and Caleb, but I can’t find words. I’m too exhausted now. I can’t even watch as the others file away back to the bikes, Dan prodded along between them like a prisoner of war and Luce and Miles trailing at the end of the line. I lean forward over Caleb’s back and rest my head on his strong, soft shoulder, and as he begins to run, I let myself drift away.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I’m only half awake when we finally get back to the edge of the city. I don’t even notice the moment when Caleb shifts back into his human form. He must have set me on the ground for a few moments, because when I’m next fully aware, he’s dressed again and carrying me in his arms. I recognize the street we’re walking down. We’re very close to home.
Home. It actually feels real. Home is a place I want to be, not a place I’m forced to be. I want to go back with Caleb. Whatever happens now, I want to be with him.
He glances down at me. “You’re awake.”
“Was I not?” Everything has been so blurry, for a while now.
“You’ve been in and out,” he says. “Mostly out. Are you okay? Does anything hurt?”
“No, I’m not hurt.” I’m probably going to have some bruises later, but that seems so minimal right now that I can’t bring myself to care. “Are you hurt? Dan didn’t hurt you, did he?”
Caleb laughs. “Dan’s no match for me in a fair fight. He’s been using his alpha power to keep everyone down so long that he had no idea how to handle someone he couldn’t control.”
“I guess you’re right,” I say. “He couldn’t even handle me.”
“Don’t sell yourself short,” Caleb says. “You played him like a game of chess, Jacie. He had no idea you were coming. If you hadn’t put such a hard knock on his confidence at the start, I might not have been able to shake off his order when I needed to.”
