“And I’m sure it’s very expensive when it is.”
“Sure is. I couldn’t buy any. Thank goodness for kind friends.”
Navarro knew it was time to ride onward, but he hated to halt their conversation. He enjoyed witnessing their rapport and reactions to each other. Beth seemed to have a knack for getting along with people and putting others at ease—except with him when she became too tempting. It was obvious Zack was impressed and charmed by the green-eyed redhead. He was glad the two got along so well and seemed to like each other. He decided to wait a few more minutes before saying they had to leave.
Beth glanced toward Navarro whose attention seemed elsewhere, then whispered at a level only Zack could hear, “A black wolf, a lone wolf.”
The man grinned and nodded. “You have the eye and mind of an artist, Beth Breed; your choice is perfect. Just what I made with its mate.”
She wished he would show her that treasure, but he didn’t offer; perhaps it was lovingly carved and reluctantly sold long ago.
“Some things call for part of a limb; a few for a knot; others, the tree’s very heart and soul. I keep cutting away the fat until only lean meat is left. Then, I rub my prize until it’s smooth, slick as a raindrop. Don’t want my buyers getting splinters in their hands.” He grinned and chuckled.
Beth smiled and laughed, too. As her partner joined them, she said, “It’s making magic with hard work and a special gift. Something plain is transformed into a treasure that lasts for a long time. Right, boss?”
Navarro nodded. Creating true love was making real and powerful magic, he decided, but it wasn’t always beautiful and lasting, not with the wrong woman or at the wrong time with the right one. Because of lost love, he’d had ten years of loneliness and torment. He didn’t want to take that risk again.
Following nights spent near Fort Hancock and Eagle Peak, Navarro and Beth halted west of the Davis Mountains to camp on Tuesday. They would reach Fort Davis tomorrow where he’d check for an answer to his El Paso telegram to the Cordells. He couldn’t imagine what it might say.
After supper, Navarro sat Indian-style at their campfire. He almost had decided not to reveal his past romance with Jessica Cordell. He didn’t like to expose his secrets and private life, and he’d done plenty of soul-baring with the redhead. Yet, if any slips were made at the ranch by him or anyone there, Beth’s suspicions might endanger their mission and rapport. He fingercombed his hair as he reasoned on how much to say and how to begin.
Beth’s fingers curled around the miniature ebony wolf in her pocket that Zack had given to her with a mischievous grin before parting. The saguaro cactus was in her saddlebag, a “lucky charm” and reminder of her days in Tucson. Both were keepsakes of meeting the man nearby. “Navarro, is something bothering you tonight?” she asked softly. “Did I do anything wrong to upset you? You’ve been quiet—even distant—most of the evening.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, but I’ve got another confession to make.”
Beth eyed the man whose somber gaze was fastened to the colorful flames that separated them. Her curiosity was piqued, but she hated to rush a revelation that seemed to be difficult and painful. Navarro glanced at her before staring into the fire again. It was getting late and her apprehension was increasing so she prompted, “Another confession about your past?”
“Yep, my last one,” because I’ll take the secret about Lane to my grave. “Then, partner, you’ll know all about me.”
Chapter Ten
Again, he went silent. Beth finished filling a half cup of coffee and sipped the hot liquid with caution. Perhaps, she mused, he needed help to begin. “Is it about a broken love affair at the ranch?” She ventured.
Navarro’s head jerked up and he gaped at her. Firelight danced on her face and copper hair. A tender expression glowed in her large green eyes, and her full lips were parted. “You already know the truth? Dan told you?”
“Absolutely not: He’s your friend; he wouldn’t betray your trust.”
“That’s good to hear. I didn’t believe he would. How did you know?”
“An accurate guess from clues you’ve dropped, and it seemed a logical explanation for why you’d need a wife as a cover during a visit to old friends. Who is she? Why didn’t you two get together? Does she still live on the ranch? Is that the reason you have to tell me about her before we arrive?”
He nodded. “I can’t let anything or anybody mess up this mission, and that sharp mind of yours could pick up clues and misunderstand things.” Navarro ran fingers through his sable mane. “While I was working there ten years ago, Jessie and I…We…” Spit it out and get it done. “We were in love. We would’ve gotten married if I hadn’t been dodging that hangman’s noose and been hauled back to prison without her knowing where I was.”
He saw Beth try to conceal her shock. “By the time I got out of that hellhole five years later and returned, she was hitched to Matt and they had two children. Expecting a third. I didn’t know about the house fire and move, so I rode to the old ranch site. Matt was there alone checking on some things, and he laid the hard facts on me. I promised him I’d stay out of their lives and left; I’ve kept my word until now.”
“You left without seeing Jessica? Without explaining what happened?”
“She was carrying his child; I couldn’t upset her in that condition. After the baby was born, Matt explained why it looked like I’d deserted her and just vanished for keeps. Jess understood and forgave me; so did he.”
Navarro poured coffee, perhaps to take a moment to compose himself, Beth reasoned. She realized she wasn’t—and at the same time was—surprised to discover the mystery woman was Jessica Lane Cordell. Clues had slapped her in the face from all angles and any agent with real intelligence could decipher them. What disturbed her most was that Navarro had loved Jessica enough to marry her, had not left her of his own free will, had gone back to claim her the first moment it was possible, and had made a great sacrifice for her happiness at the loss of his own. “When she learned the truth, it didn’t change things for you two?”
“How could it when she’d made a new life without me? She had a home, husband, children, a successful ranch. She’d promised to wait for me to work out my troubles, but I can’t blame her for breaking her word when she didn’t even hear from me for five years.”
If my arithmetic is right, she didn’t wait long to marry Matt. Maybe she wasn’t as in love with you as you believe. “Why didn’t you contact her?”
“How could I write from prison? I doubt a letter would’ve gotten past those guards, ‘specially without them reading it. If I explained why I didn’t—and couldn’t—return and she wrote back without suspecting her letter would be read by those bastards, it would’ve connected Jess to me while I was running from that hellhole and gotten her and the others into trouble. I couldn’t risk it.”
As if he’d read her previous thoughts, he responded to them for her.
“When I rode off saying I wasn’t coming back, I left her in a tough bind; she was still hurting bad from Jed’s death, her sister’s treachery, and Fletcher’s evil actions. She had a ranch to run, family to protect, hands to supervise, pains to heal. She needed a strong, dependable, loving man at her side; Matt got that job while I was working on a rock pile in Arizona. I can’t blame him for stepping in; he’d loved Jessie for years in secret.”
Beth winced inside as she experienced empathy for him. How can you return to such a tormenting scene? Of course, she reasoned, you have to prove Jessica’s innocence in this case and protect her from any peril. Heaven help us if this complicates and endangers our mission. “Is she happy with him? Does she love him? Is she over you?” She saw him wince at each question, but she had to ask them.
“That’s how it looked to me when I returned.”
“But you talked with Matt. How could you take her husband’s word?”
“If Matt Cordell can’t be trusted on any matter, nobody can.”
“Yo
u have that much faith in him?”
“Yep. I’d bet Night Cloud men don’t come any better than him.”
“But he had a wife, children, and home to protect when you appeared out of nowhere, perhaps as a rival for them. Some men would do anything to hold tight to all they love, even a good man.” Like you. You’ve given up on love and marriage. You continue to let yourself suffer to protect and retain a lost dream, so you should grasp my meaning.
“I spied on them together that night; the marriage is a good one.”
The admission stunned her at first; then, she understood. It must have been an agonizing scene to observe. “That was smart, Navarro; I would have done the same thing.”
He nodded in gratitude. “Matt had years to win her over, every day and night for five years, sharing good and bad, hard and easy, being there when she needed him. You’ve been married, so you know what I mean.”
“While you were a traitor and black memory to her, he was her friend and right hand, her healer and sunshine. He had opportunities and time to forge a powerful bond with her during your unexplained absence.”
He thought a minute then said, “I don’t want you thinking bad of Jessie or Matt, because they’re good people.”
“I would imagine your disappearance and lengthy silence hurt and confused her. Most women, widows or rejected lovers, think the only way or best way to get over losing a man is to replace him with another one, fast.”
He locked his gaze to hers. “Is that how you think?”
“No. If I did, I’d be remarried or searching hard for a new husband. I’m not.” At least I wasn’t untilyou came into my life. Now, I’m unsure. “A person can find new love—even better love, I suppose—but no one can take another’s place. That’s like…trying to make a docile yard dog out of a wild coyote. You said you promised to stay out of their lives and you’ve kept your word, but have you stolen any more furtive peeks?”
“Nope, just sent news by letter in December of ‘81, what I told you last time about what I was doing and where. I wrote them how they could reach me if they ever needed a hired gun again. There’s an Army officer at an Arizona post who passes along any messages for me to Dan. Matt sent me a short letter after Lance was born.”
“They haven’t contacted you since then?”
“Nope.”
Beth’s heart pounded and her mouth dried as she dared to ask, “What if Jessica still loves you and wants you? Isn’t it risky seeing her again for the first time during a crucial mission?”
“She still loves me, but only as a friend, nothing more.”
“And Matt, how does he feel about you?”
“He asked me to step into his place if anything happened to him.”
Beth gaped at him until she found her voice again. “He what?”
“I mean, step in to protect Jessie and his children if trouble came.”
“To remain friends despite having a woman come between you is quite unusual.” If Matt isn’t just dupingyou to keep your cooperation. We’ll soon see how he reacts to your sudden return.
“As I said, they were and they are good people, bone deep. If they hadn’t been true friends, they wouldn’t have tried so hard to get me a pardon, ‘specially when it looked like I’d done Jessie wrong.”
“You didn’t do her wrong; in fact, you saved their lives and the ranch. You did far more than you were hired to do, and they must know that. They were aware you were on the run from the law and had to leave. I’m sure they realized how unselfish and protective you were being, both times.”
The redhead’s assessment made him smile. “Yep; that’s why their actions were so generous.”
“Maybe Jessica hoped a pardon would bring you back to her.” Beth saw him seem to shift his position so he could avoid her probing gaze.
“Nope, she was satisfied with a letter.”
Are you positive? “She’ll come face-to-face with you during a visit.”
“Face-to-face with a happily married man, with just you in my heart.”
“That’s only a ruse. I imagine Dan figured having a wife along would make things easier for all of you, and give the Cordells a credible reason for you going there. I take it from what you implied that he knows the truth?”
“Yep, but Dan doesn’t have to worry about the past; what happened between us was ten years ago. It’s as gone as yesterday’s hours.”
“Dan thinks only the best of you. Considering what took place between you and Jessica, surely the Cordells would never ask you to come and stay with them without a wife at your side, especially Matt. I’m your only hope of getting an invitation. You’re a skilled lawman, but this case demands extra caution and unusual requirements. I’m lucky I was chosen as your partner. What female agent wouldn’t give anything to team up with the legendary Navarro Breed and have a chance to learn from him?”
“That’s kind of you to say, Beth.”
“Papa said to be truthful as much as possible, even in my job, so there wouldn’t be so many lies to keep up with during any fast and trying moments.”
“I’ll remember that suggestion; it sounds like a smart one. That other stuff I told you about the Cordells, the ranch, and my past is true. If they hadn’t taken me in and turned me around, I’d still be in prison or lying dead in some dusty street or cactus patch. I’m grateful to them, all of them.”
“I am, too. I’m glad they saved you from that other life and from yourself. We need lawmen like you’ve become.”
“Thanks again; you really know how to swell a man’s head.” He had to make sure she comprehended the situation and had confidence in him. “After the law threw me back into that hole, it was over between me and Jess. Even though Steven’s out of your life forever, you still love him and miss him; he’ll always own a special place in your heart because of all you two shared in the past. Right?”
“Yes.” But Steven is dead; Jessica isn’t and you’ll be in her life again soon and she’ll be in yours. It isn’t the same; can’t you see that?
To Navarro, she looked and sounded hesitant. “It’s like that with me and Jessie, too, Beth. We know it’s over and we accept that fact.”
You mean, over and accepted as long as Matt’s alive and free. This case could change everything for you and her if he’s involved, if he’s imprisoned or slain. Surely you’ve thought of those possibilities. That’s probably why you tried so hard to leave me—or any “wife”—behind. You’re saddling yourself a tough horse to ride, and I can’t allow you to mount it or get bucked off. This time, you could break more than your heart; you could get killed. Or you could ruin our assignment.
“We’ve all made fresh starts, Beth, and I won’t do anything to hurt them or to jeopardize our mission,” he vowed to calm her apparent worries. “I guess it was the same when you lost Steven: at first, life don’t seem worth much; as time passes, you see it is. You knew about love and feelings all your life; I didn’t. What I learned about ‘em, Jess taught me, and the boys helped. I rode away from that ranch and her a better man, a new man. I’m not sorry I took that job. As you told me, good and bad experiences make us what we are.” He poured the last of the coffee into his cup and sipped it as they relaxed in meditative silence.
You still have important things to learn, partner. For a start, one can love more than one person during a lifetime; that’s an unexpected lesson I was taught very recently.
When Beth had first met Steven, she’d taken an instant liking to him because of his personality and traits. He was charming, witty, fun, genial, well mannered, and goodlooking. And Steven had grown on her as time passed. But with Navarro Breed, the first moment she’d turned in the Carters’ store and looked into his face, she was almost struck speechless. He had an aura—a commanding presence—that made her want to be with him and cling to him. He was a consuming force that couldn’t be resisted. He was power and magic and vitality, the embodiment of passion.
Passion…He stirred somnolent, primal urges to life, along with t
he new and potent desires he ignited like smoldering embers into a roaring blaze. A look, touch, or thought of him whipped up those flames within her until they burned like a perilous wildfire. They seared over her until she yearned to be engulfed. That was reckless because Navarro Breed belonged only to himself, and she could think of no way to cut through the defensive barrier he’d built around him. If she had an ounce of brains, Beth fretted, she would tell her wayward heart to avoid him like the plague. But it was too late.
Somewhere along the way, her feelings and responses were no longer pretenses, no longer just following orders. However, that changed nothing where he was concerned. He had endured so much during a tragic childhood, in a harsh prison, from hardening drifter days and ill-fated first love. When he’d given his heart, it had been broken. Until he got over Jessica, he couldn’t and wouldn’t respond to a woman, and she mustn’t pursue or settle for half a man. She doubted she could ever have a future with him because he wasn’t interested in marriage, settling down, having a permanent partnership with her. The type of assignments that required a team wouldn’t appeal to him on a regular basis; nor would he want a pining female hanging around all the time. Stick to the mission and forget these crazy hopes and dreams.
“You seem lost in thought,” Navarro said.
“I was thinking about something I read by a man named Tennyson. He wrote it about forty years ago: “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’ Do you think he spoke from unrequited experience or a deluded imagination?” She forced out laughter to reduce their stress.
Navarro smiled as he guessed her ploy. “Most good sayings have a mite of truth in ‘em.” He turned serious again. “You don’t have to worry, Beth, there won’t be any problems between me and Jessie or Matt. I promise.”
She studied his expression and concluded he was sincere. But crazy things happened when a person least expected them to…“I’m sure you’re not the kind of man who’d cause trouble for friends. We’ll make sure the Cordells realize straight away they don’t have to worry about the past, either. From what they’ll witness, no couple will appear more in love, well matched, and happier than us.”
Chase The Wind Page 21
