Back To The Start Box Set: Five Full-Length Novels

by Aly Martinez

  “Are you okay?” Caleb asks, causing my eyes to snap up to his.

  “Umm…” I say as my lip begins to quiver. I can’t continue without crying again, and to be honest, my head hurts. I need to be in my bed. Alone, except for the seven hundred beers I’m going to need to forget the last twenty-four hours. “Can you take me home?”

  “Absolutely.” It’s only one word, and I’ve never been so thankful for brevity in my life.

  I’m not in the mood to talk. Not when I can still hear Sarah telling me all about the night she had with Brett on Tuesday. The night after he and I were together. The idea of him touching her within hours of leaving me is enough to make me ill. She told me every sickening detail of their night together. Her mouth was a knife, verbally gutting me open. There are a lot of things she could have told me that would have done less damage, but somehow she knew that giving me the play-by-play of their sexual escapades was more than enough to send me over the edge. She knew my insecurities and she played right into them.

  “She’s so pretty,” I whisper as Caleb drives us towards my apartment.

  “Yeah, she is on the outside. But she’s ugly on the inside.”

  “No, I mean his daughter.”

  “Whose daughter?” he asks, obviously confused.

  “Brett’s.”

  “He doesn’t have any kids.”

  “But she had a picture of a little girl who looked just like him. Big green eyes. Dark brown pigtails. Said her name was Samantha or something.”

  “Oh shit. This is a whole new level of crazy, even for Sarah. Samantha is his niece. Brett’s whole gigantic family looks exactly the same. Must be good genes, because his sisters are hot.”

  “Oh.”

  “What else did she hit you with back there?”

  No way am I repeating the things she told me about their sex life to Caleb. I want to get as far away from that particular topic as possible.

  “That was really horrible.” I hiccup a breath, remembering.

  “I’m so sorry, baby girl. No one deserves to be on the opposite end of Sarah Sharp’s wrath. Least of all, you.”

  “So, they really are married?” I know the answer, but after meeting her today, I can’t imagine Brett ever falling for a woman like that. She’s beautiful, so I can definitely see why he was attracted to her initially, but her personality couldn’t have been more different than the sweet and funny guy Brett is.

  “Yeah, they are.” He glances over at me while driving.

  I find myself wanting to know more about this mystery woman. It’s plain to see from her reaction tonight that she and Caleb don’t get along. I think it would help to hear their story from someone who isn’t in love with her.

  Apparently, that shows in my face because he shakes his head and says, “Listen, I’m really the wrong person to talk to about Sarah. Kara should be getting off work soon. You two can talk and do whatever the hell girls do in this type of situation. Shit, you want me to stop and buy you some wine?”

  “It’s nine in the morning.”

  “And?”

  “Tell me about Sarah.” I finally say the words.

  “No,” he says simply. The pain in his voice leads me to believe that he doesn’t just want to avoid talking about Sarah. He doesn’t want it to lead into a conversation about Manda.

  “I won’t ask about…her,” I plead, putting emphasis on her so he knows exactly who I’m talking about.

  “Damn it, you just did!” He slams the heel of his hand against the steering wheel. Apparently, anger issues are not isolated to Brett. “Jesse, you’re a good girl,” he says, exasperated.

  “And?” I throw his earlier words back at him, determined to get some answers.

  “I’m not doing this with you. Not here, not now, not ever.”

  “Please. I don’t know who or what to believe. She tells me one thing, but Brett tells me another. I deserve to know! Can someone just tell me the darn truth?” My words cause Caleb to crack a smile, and it infuriates me!

  “Darn? Really?” he asks, still smiling.

  “Shut up. As much as I hate him right now, I wish Brett were here to make good on his threat to punch you in the face.”

  “I’m not making fun of you. I think it’s cute that you don’t cuss.”

  “Great. Someone else who thinks I’m cute.”

  “I think you’re sexy as hell too if that helps,” he says, winking at me.

  I bite my lip and look out the window to keep him from seeing the color that fills my cheeks. I don’t respond to his flirty comment. When we pull into my apartment complex, it’s Caleb who finally breaks the silence.

  “Everyone is so sympathetic towards her. She’s always been wild, but at least before, it was entertaining. Now, her craziness is disgusting. She doesn’t give a damn about anyone but herself. She is a selfish bitch, and I make sure she knows I’m not falling for her bullshit.”

  “Does she care about Brett?” I find myself once again inquiring about how she feels about him. Why is this question so important to me? Shouldn’t I be worried about how he feels? Heck, after today, I shouldn’t care about that either.

  “Yes.” Shifting the truck into park, he sighs. “She hates him. That counts for caring, right?” I feel guilty for the relief his answer causes me. “Why are you still asking about Brett and Sarah after that little spectacle back there?” He raises his eyebrows knowingly. “You should still be crying and freaking out, but here you sit, interrogating me. What’s your end game, Jess?”

  I don’t immediately respond. It’s not that I don’t understand his question. I just don’t know the answer. Why the hell am I still asking about them?

  “Something just isn’t right about all of this. I’m confused, and if I’ve learned anything by spending the last eight years in college, it’s that if you ask enough people, someone will eventually know the answer.”

  “You want me to give it to you straight? Okay, fine. Here it is—Sarah is batshit crazy. She was nutty before the accident, but she is off her fucking rocker now. It scares me that she even knows you exist. Brett’s an idiot for telling her your name. She hates him, but she takes great pleasure in knowing he still loves her. She has done her damnedest to drive those who loved her away, and that includes me. Everyone has given up on her. Everyone but Brett.

  “If your next question is how you fit into that equation, let me tell you now that I have no fucking idea. As someone who has come to call you a friend, I want to tell you to run as far away from them as you can get. After today, I would suggest you pick up and move to Canada. However, as Brett’s best friend, I can honestly say that I have never seen him even notice a woman in four years. If I didn’t know better, I would assume his dick has rotted off from lack of use by now. But judging by the blush in your cheeks last Tuesday morning, it’s apparently still in working condition.”

  My face heats to red, but he doesn’t even slow down to take a breath. The man is on a roll.

  “He looks at you subconsciously. His eyes track your every move in the mornings. He’s been trapped in the past for too long, and it’s like he knows you are the one person who can save him. His problem is that he can’t let go of her.

  “He doesn’t love Sarah anymore, just in case you are wondering. But he can’t seem to walk away from her either. By the time he actually does, it’s going to be too late. That’s what frustrates me the most with him. He has gotten through the hardest part—he’s stopped loving her. The walking away should be easy.”

  Staring deep into my eyes to make sure I’m really listening, he continues. “So, Jesse, if you are hoping for me to tell you what to do here, you are asking the wrong person.”

  I’m overcome by emotions at everything he just said, but I don’t have any tears left to cry.

  “He watches me?” I squeak out.

  “Jesus, is that all you heard in that?”

  “No, I heard you. I just always thought I was the one staring at him.”

  “You
have no idea the effect you have on Brett.” His words only leave me more confused.

  “Then why was he holding her?” Suddenly, all of my bitterness from earlier returns.

  “Because he’s a good guy. She’s broken, and Brett always feels the need to fix things. I don’t like it, but he knew I would take care of you. If he left with you, Sarah would have been alone. If you are still crazy enough to want any type of relationship with him after today, you’re going to have to accept that he will never let her be completely alone. He’s just not that type of guy. It sucks, but he’s a package deal.”

  “Do you think I could maybe talk to Sarah without her going ballistic on me? I’m not very fond of her, but if what everyone says is true, it’s really sad that she doesn’t have anyone to lean on. She needs a friend or something. I think I could have handled her a little better if she hadn’t surprised me the way she did. Maybe I could try to talk to her one on one, you know, when Brett isn’t around.”

  “She’s not like you, Jess, so don’t try to figure her out. She isn’t a stray puppy you can rescue. Trust me. Brett has tried for years. Please hear me when I say this—stay away from Sarah. If you see her again, you call me immediately. Not Brett. You call me. I’ll have some words with her tonight. She shouldn’t bother you anymore. Okay? Promise me you’ll stay away from her.”

  “Fine, I promise.”

  I realize we are just sitting in his truck, parked in front of my apartment. I’m no longer excited about the prospect of spending the day alone. Kara works all day on Fridays then usually goes out with whatever guy she is sleeping with this week. I need a distraction or I’m going to obsess about Brett and Sarah all day.

  “So, umm…do you want to come in for a little while? I can cook you some breakfast. You kind of saved me from the beast today. The least I can do is make you some pancakes.”

  “Eggs, too?”

  “Of course!”

  “All right, baby girl. I’ll hang for a bit,” he says, seeing right through my lame excuse.

  “Thank you.”

  “Thank me with breakfast. I’m starving.” He exits the truck and guides me inside.

  Chapter Twenty

  Brett

  IT’S TAKEN me four hours to get Sarah settled. For the first hour, she was shaking and crying, randomly talking about Manda. I managed to get her to take a few of the sedatives the doctor prescribed for when she gets overexcited like this. After that, she fell asleep, and I spent the next two hours taking all the pills and knives out of her house. Then it took forever to find a home health nurse to come sit with her. She’s cussed out almost everyone I have ever hired, so I end up paying two times the normal wage just to get someone to come over and make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid. It’s worth it though. After seeing her in action with Jesse today, then her reaction to Caleb, I’m not about to take any chances leaving her alone.

  I pull up to Jesse’s house just after one. I park next to her car and head straight for her door. I have a lot of explaining, apologizing, and probably groveling to do. I looked like a dick earlier, no denying that. I saw it in her eyes when she left with Caleb. I knock on her door, not giving myself any time to prepare what I’m going to say. I’ll wing it, even though that hasn’t been working out so well for me recently. I have to talk to her, explain everything. Jesse is very levelheaded. She’ll understand. God, please let her understand.

  No one immediately comes to the door, and it makes me wonder if she is trying to avoid me. I can’t blame her if she is, but I sure as hell can make sure she isn’t successful. I turn, looking back at the parking lot just to be positive it was her car I parked beside. In my scan, my eyes run across an all-too-familiar truck. What the hell is he still doing here? They aren’t close. I can only think of one reason why he would still be here.

  Women love Caleb. He’s six foot two and blond, and he has that bad-boy thing going on that women swoon over. I know exactly how much Caleb loves the ladies. He doesn’t have a type. He appreciates them all. I swear, if he is appreciating Jess right now, I’ll kill him.

  “Caleb! Open the fucking door!” I pound my fists against her door, all the while contemplating if I could kick it down. Just as I step back to give it my best attempt, Caleb yanks open her door.

  “What’s up, big man?”

  Seeing him standing in Jesse’s apartment is enough to rock me back on my heels.

  “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “Oh you know, just cleaning up your mess. Better question is what are you doing here?”

  “Is this your little idea of payback for having to see Sarah today? I swear to Christ, if you touched Jess—”

  “Exactly what are you going to do Brett? If I recall correctly, you watched me pick her up and carry her out this morning. You didn’t try to stop me then. Now you suddenly care that we are spending time together? God forbid I touch the woman you threw to the wolves. It only took you, what”—he stops to check his watch—”four hours to get here. If Jesse means so much to you, what the hell took you so long?”

  “She is not one of your conquests to make you forget about Manda! She’s not yours!” I yell words that I have no control over.

  “Oh, but she’s yours? Because that is not the way it looked today while you were holding your wife.”

  “Fuck you! Yes, she’s mine! You, of all people, know that!” I step up, ready to once again go toe-to-toe with my best friend. Only this time, he doesn’t respond to my challenge. He begins to laugh instead.

  “Just checking.” He pats me on the chest, doing nothing to calm my rage.

  “Caleb, stop,” I hear Jesse say as she walks under his arm, stopping in the door way in front of me. “Hey,” she says in that shy way I’m getting used to.

  “Did he touch you?” I swear it just spews from my mouth. I had no plans for those to be the first words I say to her, but apparently my testosterone had other ideas.

  “What? No!”

  “Then why is he still here?” I ask accusingly.

  “I asked him to stay. I didn’t want to be alone. While you were off doing whatever you were doing with Sarah, he was nice enough to hang out.”

  “Jesse, I know Caleb. He doesn’t just hang out with women. Don’t bullshit me right now. Is something going on with you two?”

  “You know what. I’m not doing this. You need to leave,” she answers, rightfully annoyed.

  “Not happening. We need to talk.” I look up at Caleb, who is still protectively standing behind her. “You, however, can leave. I’ve got it from here.”

  “The hell you do! Besides, I’m not going anywhere. Jesse is cooking me lunch. You should have tasted her pancakes this morning.” He pauses to wink and lick his lips before finishing with, “Benissimo!” That one word is all it takes for me to lose it. But for reasons known only to my dick, I lose it on the wrong person.

  “You blew him? Jesus Christ, Jess, what the hell?”

  “And here we go,” Caleb says at the same time I see Jesse’s eyes widen as she morphs into a madwoman.

  “You did not just say that to me!” she screams as Caleb lifts her off her feet, dragging her away. His touching her only pisses me off more. “Put me down! Put me down now!” She kicks her legs trying to break free of his hold.

  If I were an outsider looking in, I would think this tiny woman was comical. I’m not an outsider though, and it’s my tiny woman he’s manhandling.

  “Get your hands off her!” I snap.

  “Oh, now I know you’re kidding, asspuck! She is about to claw your eyes out, and if you keep this up, I’m going to let her. You’re being a dick. Both of you just need to calm down.”

  “You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself for a few hours? I’ve felt something for the first time in years with her, yet you swoop in and steal it away just to get your rocks off. Shit!” I finally realize what’s going on. “Oh my God, you’re jealous that I’m moving on! Why did I not see this coming?”

  “First o
ff, you sound like an idiot right now. I didn’t do shit to steal anything from you. You’re doing a bang-up job of ruining this all on your own. Secondly, I’m jealous that you’re moving on? Where can I preorder tickets to your new comedy show? Because you should take this shit on the road. Moving on? If you really think you’re moving on after what went down this morning, apparently Sarah isn’t the only delusional one. Nothing happened between me and Jesse, so the next words out of your mouth better be a fucking apology.”

  “Right, because you two clearly look like two people who were barely even friends last week.” I look down to where he is still tightly holding her against his body.

  “Stop talking about me like I’m not here! Get out, both of you!” she yells, still trying to fight out of Caleb’s grip.

  This is too much. All of it. Maybe I’m just delaying the inevitable by holding on to Jesse. If I were a better man, I would turn and walk out the door right now. Fortunately for me, I’m an asshole, so I’m going to fight for her only to disappoint her later down the line. Outstanding!

  “I’m not leaving until we talk. I have a lot to say.”

  “Well, I don’t feel like listening anymore. You think just because we made out once that I’m going to hook up with every guy who looks at me?” she yells, fighting Caleb’s grasp around her waist.

  I have no idea what has come over me. I know nothing has happened between these two. Jesse isn’t that type of girl, even if Caleb is that type of guy. Still, I somehow can’t keep myself from being a prick.

  “Oh we did far more than ‘make out.’ I have the claw marks on my back to prove it.”

  She immediately goes quiet and I know I’ve said too much. She’s such a private person, and here I am, airing her bedroom behaviors in front of other people.

  “Claw marks? Really?” Caleb raises an eyebrow with a smirk lifting the corner of his mouth.

  “Shit, I’m sorry. I have no idea why I said that. I’m just pissed… I—”

  She finally breaks free from Caleb and crosses the room, stopping inches in front from me. Standing on her toes to make herself as tall as possible, she screams into my face, “What the hell, Brett? I’m the one who’s supposed to be mad. You didn’t just walk in on me hugging and defending my husband. Oh wait, that’s because I don’t have one!”