by V. K. Ludwig
“I didn’t mean to shout.”
It wasn’t the first time I had said that.
Neither was it the first time when she stroked over my cheek and whispered, “Don’t worry about it.”
Gabriel might not have been my biological child, and yet it didn’t change how we seemed to share a heated temper these last few days. But Eden was always there, meeting my anger with calming words, my insecurity with patience.
“Sometimes, he gets a tummy ache after a bottle, especially if he gulped down too much air.” She tugged on my arms until I stretched them out, then flipped Gabriel onto his stomach. “See, stopped crying right there. Carry him around like that while I get dressed.”
“What about his heart?”
She rummaged through her closet and pulled out the third dress of the day since Gabriel had spat on all the ones before. “He hasn’t had any cardiac distress in days. I’m sure he’ll be fine. And I only need a moment before we can go downstairs.”
Soft hair resting against my palm, I balanced Gabriel’s torso on my arm while using my other hand to ensure he wouldn’t fall. Three limbs hung lazily down the sides, all crying replaced with silence and the occasional grunt.
“They finished putting up the cameras, and scholar Yahmut arrived a few minutes ago,” I said. “I hope you remember the questions because my mind is blank after all this screaming.”
“How do I look?”
I turned around, my heart once more going still inside my chest. The Toroxian tailor had outdone himself, the dress falling in dense layers of matted yak fibers down her legs. The leather-tied bodice framed her perfectly, her stomach swelling slightly at the bottom, although Eden kept saying the pregnancy wasn’t visible yet.
It was for me.
In the way she tugged the waistband on her few pants. The way she stroked her stomach whenever lost in thought. How she gleamed as if she was the only one who knew the secrets of the universe.
“Beautiful,” I said, letting my finger run along the high collar of her dress. “Let’s just hope he can hold his milk until after the interview.”
One small hand tugged on my waist and climbed up my chest. The other grabbed for what Eden loved to call my cock, already showing how eager he was to please.
I groaned at the touch.
Gabriel didn’t leave us any opportunity to mate or fuck or anything in-between ever since he’d arrived.
A knock on the door choked whatever this could have turned into, and I let out a shout. “What is it now?”
“Commander, sir.” Came through the door. “They are only waiting for you.”
“Tell them to be ready, we are on our way.”
We left the bedroom and walked downstairs, where the recording crew had set up the holographic cameras from several angles inside my office.
Scholar Yahmut greeted us by the door, bowing deep before he placed a kiss on the back of Eden’s hand. “I’ve heard great things about you, Eden da taigh L’naghal. The Vetusian Empire will be excited to witness the very first hologram of the Commander’s mate.”
“Thank you for doing this,” she said. “Not sure how helpful this interview will be, but I hope it’ll encourage others to adopt one of the babies.”
“If it’s one thing I know, it’s the mind of our empire. The most important thing is to appear approachable, relatable. Your job is to find families for these children. Mine is to sell the idea of a family to my fellow Vetusians.”
“Where did my armchairs go?” I asked.
“Oh, uh…” Yahmut walked over to the soft-yellow couch and gave a pat against the cushion. “We replaced them with a couch in a friendly color.”
“Friendly? What did my armchairs say that offended you so?”
He only swallowed, face pale. A standard reaction since most Vetusians avoided confrontations with me.
“I’m sure you can have them back later,” Eden said with a grin on her face, leading me toward the couch with a tug on my arm. “He’s right. Each of us sitting in an armchair would look weird. We can all snuggle up in the corner.”
“Exactly my thoughts,” Yahmut blurted. “Commander, if you would sit at the end, please. We need to ensure there is constant touch between the two of you. Not too obvious to appear staged, but thoughtful about its visibility.”
I sat down, not liking being ordered around at all.
With Gabriel on my left arm, I waited until Eden sat down beside me and wrapped my other arm around her shoulder.
“Please, no arm around shoulder or waist.” Yahmut had the audacity to walk up to me, grab my arm, and place it onto Eden’s lap instead. “We have to be sensitive about body language. Hugging her might appear aggressive and imposing. Not a good thing just yet.”
As if she sensed my growing annoyance, Eden squeezed my hand, brought her lips to my ear, and told me to stop being a grump, and to relax.
“Can we bring the baby into an upright position?” Yahmut asked. Just as I brought Gabriel up, getting ready to hand him over to Eden, Yahmut flung his palm up and stopped all attempts. “I would like you to hold the child, please, Commander.”
“But —”
“Great idea!” Eden quickly arranged my hands around Gabriel, making sure I’d keep his head against my chest. “There’s nothing sexier than a grown man holding a newborn baby. Double the points if he changes a diaper without being asked to.”
“I told you I don’t want to hurt him.”
But Eden only pressed a kiss onto my cheek and smiled at me, helping me ignore whatever unease had grown in the depths of my stomach only a moment ago.
She looked regal with her hair crowning atop her head, the occasional strand twirling halfway down her sides. Her hand rested on mine, providing warmth, melting away all those things I hated about myself. Anger. Darkness. Doubt. All those constant companions.
How did she do it?
Whenever sleep didn’t come easy for her at night, she rested on my chest, asking about all those cropmates of mine. How did they die? Whom did they kill? How did they do it? And I told her, stroking her back, while she seemed to forget that I was one of them.
In her eyes, I was no liability
In Eden, I found acceptance.
I watched Gabriel’s lids grow heavy while Yahmut sat down on a friendly-colored armchair beside me, pointing us once more toward the prompter. The holographic cameras around us hummed, and the crew grew silent, communicating only with signs now.
Yahmut’s voice resonated throughout the room, even and with a pleasant pitch to it, his posture open, his sweeping gestures playing witness to how comfortable he was with the universe staring at him.
“Eden,” Yahmut said, “Can you tell us about how you and Commander Torin met.”
“Oh, absolutely. He was the one who captured me when I searched for vitamins inside a pharmacy.”
“Isn’t that a story? A Vetusian finding his mate all on his own?” Yahmut leaned forward, one brow arched. “Let me ask you something. Did you feel attraction the moment you saw him?”
Eden laughed, just like she had practiced. To loosen the atmosphere, the script had read. “That wasn’t my first thought, no.”
“And Commander Torin. When did you realize Eden was your fated mate?”
I stared at the prompter, cleared my throat, and said, “When she shot me.”
The scholar’s laugh broke against the walls, before he straightened himself and let his face grow earnest, his voice dropping low. “But it was difficult, correct? Transitioning. Making peace between you two.”
“No, it wasn’t easy.” Eden lifted her hand off mine and stroked over my jawline. “But we’re very happy together now.”
Mesmerized by her eyes, all I could do was stare and listen to her words. They were studied, prepared. But that look she gave me? That softness sitting on her features? The way she let me press into her touch?
That was real.
The happiness we shared not a prompt at all.
“An
d you decided to share your happiness with this young Vetusian,” Yahmut said, waving his hand toward Gabriel, who now slept on my chest. “A child born from the last set of artificially fertilized eggs, grown inside an exowomb. Can you tell me about Gabriel?”
I stroked the wisps at the back of his head, brown like mine, his baby scent wafting around my nostrils, filling me with content. “The vessel which carried the fetuses sustained severe damages upon arrival. Gabriel carries a bionic heart, as do many of the other babies. He also lost one arm, which we will soon replace with his first bionic limb.”
“And what made you adopt him?”
Eden’s chest expanded against my elbow, deep and urgent. “Everybody knows children are innocent, and that they are Vetusian doesn’t make them any less deserving of growing up in a loving family.” Another deep breath and Eden said the words which must still have pained her somewhere. And yet she did it because my mate had enough compassion in her heart to fill the universe. “Garrison Earth brought suffering to all of us. I lost my dad during the first stage of transition. But the Vetusians are here to stay, and I want to encourage everyone to look beyond their grief. It doesn’t take much to nurture hate, but it takes someone brave to be part of something bigger, something we can all enjoy in the future.”
“Wonderfully stated,” Yahmut said. “Commander, most Vetusian males have never even seen a baby. Can you tell them what it feels like to be a father?”
“It is a role I am still very unfamiliar with,” I said truthfully. “Babies cry a lot. But raising Gabriel is an honor, and I enjoy the moments we get to spend as a family, something the Vetusian Empire hasn’t seen in decades.”
“And do you love your family?”
I stared at the hologram of the prompt, three letters floating so close I could have grabbed them. YES.
Where I expected panic spreading through my chest, I only found calm. The word came without constraint, flowing from my mouth freely. “Yes.”
Had I practiced too much?
Or was it true?
Yahmut rose and clapped his hands. “Fantastic. The interview will go from here to the nursery, which we already recorded yesterday. We’ll follow it up with a shot of the agency in sector thirteen.”
“Thanks again,” Eden said, rose, and reached her hands out for Gabriel. “I’ll put him upstairs in his gravity swing.”
Yahmut took a hurried step toward her, his hands stopping inches from Gabriel. “May I stroke his head? I’ve never seen a baby before, and my mate is expecting twins.”
“Sure.”
The corners of Yahmut’s mouth sprung up the moment his fingertips reached the delicate wisps of hair, his eyes glistening with tears. “His hair is so soft. Are they always this small?”
“My son was one of the tallest of his cropmates,” I said.
“Fascinating.”
Eden allowed him another moment, then excused herself and left the office.
I followed behind her but turned around once more before I left the room, pointing at the couch. “Don’t you dare leave that thing in my office. You have one hour to return my armchairs.”
“Yes, Commander.”
I climbed the stairs, each step bringing me closer to Eden’s voice drifting softly from our bedroom into the hall.
My mate stood by the window with Gabriel in her arms, her torso following the gentle sway of her hips. Smooth hums resonated from her throat, her lips only parting for the occasional fragment of a sentence, “hm, hm, mhh, da, never knew the best was yet to come, mmh, hmm.”
I leaned against the doorframe, captivated by her reflection in the window. Her strands vibrant and a deep red ever since the days grew shorter, Eden reminded me of a gemstone. So strong, the harder you squeezed, the more she refused to break. But if you opened your palm, she’d reflect the light, dipping everything around her in warmth.
I loved her.
It must have been true, for what else was that unfamiliar sensation in my chest? A force so loud, it stilled the voice in my head. So intense, each day in Eden’s presence was too short, each second without her agony.
I wanted her. For now. Forever.
Slow steps carried me over to my mate. I wrapped my arms around her from behind, adding myself to the window’s reflection.
“I love you,” I whispered. “Loved you since the moment I first saw you.”
She let one hand go from Gabriel and placed it onto my arm, her eyes closed, her head pressing against my body. My firm stance eased, joining the gentle motion of my anam ghail.
Chapter 23
Eden
“Like this.” The blade of the knife slid through the onion, the sharp sting immediately settling around my nostrils. “Try to cut the slices evenly, or they won’t brown at the same rate. And for all that’s holy, don’t touch your eyes.”
Torin grabbed the knife and started chopping, the Vetusian looking so out of place in the kitchen of our new habitat. “I never had to worry about where my meals came from.”
“Well, it’s about time you did. What do you think about adding those pepper-like thingies to it you brought from Odheim?”
“Agnolian solstice berries,” he said. “They’re probably too sweet for it.”
I placed a pot on the stove and turned it on, being extra generous with the oil. Then I hopped onto the white stone counter and sat beside it, letting my eyes trail over Torin’s naked upper body. Those sweatpants I bought him rode low on his hips, giving me a good look at this glorious man.
“I’m not sure if there’s a sexier guy out there than you.”
He grinned, throwing me a sideways glance with those green eyes which had lost almost all their vibrancy. “I wish you would have noticed that earlier. Might have saved me a bullet wound.”
“I didn’t shoot you because I thought you were ugly. I shot you because you came after me.”
With the knife clinking against the counter, he sidestepped and pressed his hips between my legs, catching my mouth with his. “And I’d do it again if I had to.”
A thrill ran through my body, every cell of me aching to be touched. To have Torin grab me and mate me, something that had become rare with this new chaotic life. Adopting Gabriel. Forming the agency. The move to our beautiful log home.
I ran my fingers across his forehead and down his brows, going slick between my legs as he ground my lips between his teeth. We moaned, losing ourselves in the kiss, well knowing it could be interrupted at any moment.
A glance over at the swing showed Gabriel awake but content, his eyes following the nebula which sparkled at the top.
“He’s distracted,” I whispered, letting my hand venture into his pants, his cock already waiting, thick and engorged. “Maybe we could do it here really quick.”
Torin fumbled with the buttons of the stove. “Where does this thing turn off?”
I flicked his hand away and turned the knob while he bunched my skirt up and pulled on my panties. Cold and hard, the counter seared against my ass, but I didn’t give a shit.
His touch rushed from my thighs to my breasts to my arms, but somehow always ended on my stomach. He stroked the child underneath, his lips forming a smile against mine.
I couldn’t help but shake with need, taking his cock and guiding him to wet his crown on my slit.
He groaned against my ear and followed it up with a whisper. “I can’t stop wanting you, anam ghail.”
I gripped that bit of his ass poking out from his sweatpants, pulling him toward me, already moaning though he hadn’t even penetrated me yet.
But he resisted, his hips locked. “What do you want?”
“Please, Torin,” I pleaded, lust making me squirm on the counter. “We don’t have time for games.”
“Not a game.” He slid his thumb along my wet folds, tapping my clit before he dipped deep inside me. “Tell me what you want.”
Long fingers fucking me, palm’s edge grinding over my pubic bone, he made me whimper. “I want you to mate with
me.”
His hands gripped my hips faster than I could follow. Cock pushing inside me with one deliberate thrust, he wrenched a cry from my throat.
“Shit, I forgot how good you feel around my cock,” he cursed low, his eyes pinning me against the tiled backsplash. “I want to watch my seed dripping from your mating —”
“Pussy.”
He chuckled low. “Want to see your pussy filled with it, then running down the inside of your thighs. Watch how I mate you. Look.”
I gazed down, my lips parting all on their own. His veined cock slipped along my walls, the frothy white mix of our sex collecting at the base.
His breathing turned heavy and rough amid his powerful strokes. “You are mine, and I am yours. Do you get that now?”
“Yes!”
I was entirely his, more than I had ever been anybody else’s. Everything about it was wrong, but nothing had ever felt more right.
And just as he rocked deeper, the doorbell rang.
Torin growled a dozen Vetusian curses, pulling out and shoving his cock back into his pants. “This is getting frustrating. If it’s not my com, it’s the baby. Or the door. Or the agency.”
I slid off the counter and put my panties back on, flattening my skirt before I walked over to answer the door.
A young woman stood on the porch, her brown hair kept in a ponytail, a smile framing her cheeks. “Hey! I’m Anna. I live right across the street and saw you guys moved in a few days ago?”
“Oh… yeah. A neighbor!” I stood there for a moment too long, suddenly oblivious to what life was like before Garrison Earth.
It was often like that when humans met now. Should we nod? Shake hands? Hug? There was no way of telling which questions might bring back memories we’d rather keep at the back of our minds. Each one of us had two lives. The one before, and the one after. And nobody ever knew which one to talk about.
Anna stared at me from a cocked head.
Right. Ask her inside. “You wanna come in?”
“I’d love to!”
