by Pedro Urvi
“I knew he hated you. I ought to have done something… stopped him from going to the Shelter.”
“No one could have guessed that hatred would consume him.”
“It’s one thing to hate, a very different one to let it drive you insane,” Egil added.
“Even so…”
“I feel rather guilty myself,” said Lasgol, “as if I’d done something bad, when I know perfectly well I haven’t. I think it’s something natural. I’ve given it a lot of thought. I can’t get rid of that feeling, but I know it’s wrong. Only Isgord himself is to blame. It was his actions, not ours. And nobody could have either foreseen it or prevented it.”
“I never thought he’d go as far as that… he must have lost his mind,” Dolbarar said with his head in his hands.
“Hatred is an extremely strong feeling,” Egil pointed out. “It can drive someone to destruction if he’s not careful.”
Dolbarar was silent. It was obvious that he was deeply affected by what had happened with Isgord. He shook his head and stared at the floor.
“I can hardly believe it. I’ll keep a much closer eye on this type of situation. I have to prevent this from ever happening again. And to help when it comes to detecting this type of problem in one of our contenders. Yes, it’s the least I can do. I’ll be vigilant. I’ll help whoever needs it. A thing like this must never happen again.”
Egil shook his head. “Not all men are good at heart.”
“I have to believe they are, and that it’s the experiences in life that lead them on to the wrong path. I’ll try to lead them back to the right path.”
“There’s also the business of Erika…” Egil added. Lasgol realized that his friend had mentioned this to try and get some information from Dolbarar.
“That I can’t believe. I don’t know what drove Erika to try and kill you, but I’m sure it wasn’t because of any group of Dark Rangers,”
“You don’t believe it, sir?” Lasgol asked. He too was trying to get more information from him.
Dolbarar shook his head. “No, I don’t believe it. There’s no organization of Dark Rangers. That’s only hearsay, slander against our honorable corps.”
“Sigrid and the Elders had heard rumors of their existence.”
“Well, I refuse to believe it.”
“They could exist and be acting secretly…” Egil suggested.
“No! There are no Dark Rangers!”
Lasgol and Egil were startled at this outburst. They had never seen him like this before.
“Erika admitted it to me,” Lasgol insisted, once Dolbarar had calmed down a little.
“That’s only gossip. Erika was a special girl with a few problems. It’s disrespectful to speak ill of those who are no longer among us… but in the present situation it’s better to explain. Erika had aspirations… delusions… of grandeur. Many contenders pass through the Camp and I don’t remember all of them. But some, like her for example, I do. Even then, she wanted to be part of something bigger, something more powerful. She wanted to go far. I told her that wasn’t the Path of the Ranger. Our goal is to serve the realm, to protect it. No more, and no less. That’s a very important task. It requires sacrifice, and brings no reward. That part never convinced her. I remember that well. I don’t question the fact that she tried to kill you, although I find it hard to believe, and that saddens me even more. I don’t know what was in her mind or what imaginary creation of hers that business of the Dark Rangers may be, but they don’t exist.”
“Sir…” Egil was about to ask more about the subject, but Dolbarar raised his hand.
“I’m feeling a little tired today. We’ll have to finish this conversation another time.”
“Yes, of course, sir,” said Egil, and Lasgol nodded.
“It’s been very good to see you, Lasgol.”
“It’s an honor, sir.”
“You’re heading North on a mission, aren’t you?”
“Yes, sir.”
“So, I’d been informed. Be careful. There are movements of groups of Wild Ones of the Ice. It’ll be dangerous.”
“I’ll take care, sir.”
Dolbarar made to rise to say goodbye, but stopped. He was unable to. In that forced movement, his neck was revealed. Lasgol could see the dark spots Egil had talked about.
“Forgive me for not getting up,” he said with an expression of pain, then sat back again. He rearranged both his tunic and the large medallion with the figure of an oak carved on it which identified him as the leader of the Camp, and once again the strange spots were concealed.
Lasgol had only glimpsed them for a moment, but he knew at once that they looked ominous. He and Egil exchanged a look of concern.
“Until my return, sir,” Lasgol said, feeling really worried now.
Dolbarar smiled at him kindly and nodded in farewell.
Egil and Lasgol went downstairs and found the ground floor deserted. The Master Rangers had already left to carry on with their daily tasks.
On the bridge outside, Lasgol stopped and turned to Egil.
“I saw the spots. They look bad.”
“Yeah, and they’re spreading more and more all the time, judging by what I’ve seen.”
“He was exhausted, and the day’s only just begun.”
“And he was trying to hide the pain he was feeling.”
“We have to do something. We’ve got to help him. We can’t let anything happen to him.”
“We will. We owe it to him,” Egil said determinedly.
Chapter 7
“What do we do now?” Lasgol asked Egil.
“It’s a complicated situation. Dolbarar isn’t going to cooperate, even though we’re trying to help him. We’ll have to do it without him being aware of it.”
“What do you propose?”
“If anybody knows, or has any idea of what might be going on, it has to be Edwina.”
“The Camp Healer…”
Egil nodded. “I’ve already tried. As I didn’t get any direct answers from him, I went to her, and to my surprise, I met with the same refusal to speak about the matter. That puzzled and worried me even more.”
“Hmm. That’s certainly not good. If Edwina doesn’t want to talk about it, it must mean it’s something serious.”
“I came to the same conclusion after puzzling over the whole unpleasant business long and thoroughly. They both refuse to talk about it and insist that there’s nothing wrong, which I know isn’t true, because Dolbarar can barely manage a third of the tasks he used to do daily, with no trouble at all. And you saw how bad he was today.”
“What could be the matter with him?”
Egil shrugged. “Whatever it is, it’s bad. Otherwise they wouldn’t be hiding it.”
“I’ll go and talk to Edwina,” Lasgol said determinedly.
“That could be an excellent decision. You and the Healer have a special link. She might trust you, as opposed to me.”
Lasgol nodded. “She was always good to me. I owe her my life. Besides, she’s kept the secret about my Gift… and she needn’t have done that. She did it because she’s a good person and she knew that if it had gotten out and known, it would have caused even more problems, and I had enough of them as it was.”
“Let’s hope she’ll want to confide in you,” Egil said. Although judging by his expression, he did not look very convinced.
The two friends headed to the Infirmary, the home of the Healer Edwina. Lasgol had mixed feelings at the sight of the building. On the one hand they were positive, because of the care he had known there at Edwina’s hands. She had brought him back from death, and that was something that could never be forgotten. But on the other hand, feelings of pain and rage came over him when he remembered the many times he had ended up there for no fault of his own.
Egil gave him a slap on his shoulder for good luck. “I’d better wait outside. You go in and try to find out what you can.”
Lasgol went into the Infirmary, which he knew would be
open. It always was, because accidents in the Camp were frequent. Nor was he surprised to see a couple of contenders recovering on two of the beds. One seemed to have a broken leg, the other a wounded shoulder or arm, judging by his bandage. They both turned to Lasgol, who nodded to them.
“Edwina?” he asked.
“At the back,” replied the boy with the broken leg.
Lasgol knocked on the door at the back of the building, where the Healer’s quarters were.
“Who needs me?” came Edwina’s voice as the door opened.
“Healer,” Lasgol greeted her. He bowed his head respectfully.
“Lasgol! How nice to see you!” she cried, and the note of appreciation in her voice touched him. “Come in and let me have a good look at you.”
Lasgol went in. He always felt good in Edwina’s presence. She emanated goodness. Or perhaps it was because of his Gift; he was not certain. He felt a sense of wellbeing coming from her. When he looked at her he realized that she had not aged at all; she was exactly as she had been a year before. She even looked a little younger, probably as a result of her own Gift.
“Everything all right around here?” he asked casually.
“As well as can be expected. Accidents among the contenders keep occurring. You know what it’s like.” She smiled. “But fortunately, nothing serious: broken bones, cuts, bruises of all kinds and minor illnesses. They keep me very busy, but nothing serious has happened in a long time. Now that I think of it, since you’ve been gone…”
Lasgol shrugged. “I must attract accidents,” he said with a smile.
“That must be it.” She smiled back, and her eyes shone. “Let me check you. I want to make sure you’re all right.”
“Of course.”
“It’ll only be a moment. You won’t feel anything.”
Lasgol nodded. He did not fear the Healer’s magic. In fact, he wondered at her healing powers. It had always seemed to him, the most beautiful of the different magics because it healed wounds and sickness, helped man, and brought good to the world. He was certainly no friend to the destructive magic of the powerful Magi.
The Healer placed her hand on his chest and closed her eyes, and the hair at the back of his neck stood on end. She was using her Gift to invoke a skill. He could see her hands giving forth a blue energy which penetrated into his torso. He relaxed, letting it enter his body. The Healer’s magic was harmless and was only exploring his system to make sure he was well. He felt fine. He was not sick, or anything like that. He doubted whether she would find anything, but there was no harm in being examined, just in case.
The blue energy fascinated him. It was totally different from his own, which had a green shade he found very characteristic. But the Healer’s seemed strange, alien. Every type of magic seemed to give off a different color, which was very interesting. To Egil it was ‘fascinating’. According to what he had read, only those with the Gift or the Talent were able to perceive magical energy and its different hues. And not all of them could; there were some who, even though they had the Gift, could not distinguish magic. Other humans who could not perceive it, were unable to see magic when it was invoked or conjured. That was why they found it strange and feared it. Not being able to see how things worked led to fear. For those who did not have the Gift, magic did unthinkable things in an invisible way.
Edwina prolonged the examination for some time, and Lasgol began to wonder. She was taking too long. Had she found anything bad? It was unlikely to be anything good, because if it were, she would have finished already. Suddenly her forehead wrinkled. She appeared to concentrate even harder, and he realized that she was sending more healing energy to his body. This could not mean anything good. He waited, now deeply worried.
She opened her eyes. “There you are,” she said. She took her hands away from him, and the blue energy vanished.
“Is everything all right?” he asked doubtfully.
“Yes, don’t worry. You’re as strong as an oak. I haven’t found anything wrong in your body. No illness, or problems in any organ.”
Lasgol breathed out heavily. “For a moment you had me worried. The examination took a while.”
“There’s nothing wrong, but in fact I did find something different…”
Lasgol stiffened. This did not sound encouraging. “Different? In what way, different?”
“Haven’t you noticed anything connected with your Gift?”
“With my Gift? Well, no… is anything wrong?”
“Relax, it’s nothing bad. But yes, it’s something strange, which I hadn’t noticed before. Now I see it. And that puzzles me.
He looked into the eyes of the Healer. “What is it?”
“Your well of power has grown larger.”
Lasgol blinked hard. “I don’t understand… my inner energy hasn’t grown. It’s the same as it always was.”
“I’m afraid not. It’s rather larger than when you were in the Camp.”
“Are you sure it’s not an error of judgment?”
“No. I checked it thoroughly. It’s definitely larger. Quite a lot larger than the last time I checked you.”
“That can’t be. I’d have noticed.”
“Don’t you feel that it’s larger?”
Lasgol shook his head. “As far as I’m concerned, it’s still the same.”
“That really is odd. Let me examine you again, just to make sure I’m not wrong.”
“Go ahead.”
Edwina repeated her examination. When she had finished, she put her hand on his shoulder.
“I’m not wrong. Your power has grown.”
Lasgol was very intrigued. “I’ll check, though I’m surprised.”
He closed his eyes, concentrated, and searched for his inner lake of energy, which was the way he visualized it in his own mind. He found it in his chest. Edwina visualized it as a well, but for him it was a lake. He examined it, and its size and depth were the same as ever. He watched it for a moment longer, wondering what the Healer could be perceiving. He could find nothing strange; everything was normal. He opened his eyes.
“My lake of power is the same as it always was.”
“Are you sure?”
Lasgol nodded repeatedly. “Yes.”
Edwina was thoughtful. “Then the problem is something else. You can’t perceive your own power, which is growing. Something within you is blocking it.”
Lasgol shook his head. “You mean it’s grown, but I can’t see it?”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
He shrugged. “I haven’t a clue what it could be.”
“Most likely there’s a disconnect between your mind and your magical power.”
“Does that happen often?”
“It’s not common, but yes, it does happen. There are Magi who lose the link between mind and magic. Or body and magic, as others refer to the link which forms between someone and their Gift. The loss might be partial or entire. If it’s entire, they’re incapable of using their magic, because they don’t even feel it within themselves. If it’s partial, they can still use the part they’re linked to, but lose the part which no longer is.”
“I didn’t know anything about all this.”
“It’s a very complex subject, which Erudites and Healers study. Not much is known about how the link is formed. On the other hand, there are some studies of how it’s destroyed. Events which have a traumatic effect on the mind might cut the link. That much is known.”
“I have suffered from traumatic events… yeah…”
“Maybe there’s your cause.”
“Once the link is broken, can you recover it?” Lasgol asked, in search of some hope that this problem might be solved.
“The studies haven’t found any case where it was possible to restore the link. I’m sorry.”
“I was afraid of that.”
“On the other hand, your case is somewhat different. Generally, the link is broken and the mage loses access, partly or entirely, to his magical ene
rgy. In your case the well, or lake, of magical energy is growing, but it’s not linked to your mind, or your body.”
“Is it normal for it to grow?”
“Yes, in some cases. In the majority of people with the Gift, the size remains constant. Let’s say it comes from a finite source of magical energy. But there are a small number of lucky ones in whom the well of energy, of power, goes on growing throughout their lives. I think you might be one of those.”
“But I don’t have access to that growing energy.”
“Not for the moment.”
“Will I be able to some day?”
“In all honesty, I don’t know. I hope so. But I don’t have the answer.”
“What can I do to try and establish the link?”
“Work on it. Your mind needs to find the new energy you’re generating, that your body’s generating. When it does, it’ll link to it. Only then will you be able to use it.”
“I see. It’s there, within me, but I can’t gain access to it because I can’t find it.”
“Exactly. I’m afraid you’ll have to try and try until you can manage it, as in many other things connected with magic.”
Lasgol smiled sarcastically. “Yeah, magic and its mysteries…”
Edwina smiled. “Exactly.”
“I’ll do that. It’ll be like developing a new skill. Except that in this case I’ll have to develop the power to find the additional energy I now have.”
“It’s a very hopeful way to approach it,” Edwina said with an encouraging smile.
“I’ll work hard.”
“It’ll be frustrating… it might take time, a long time.”
“Like developing any other skill.” He was looking frustrated. “I know the feeling well.”
“Look on the bright side. Few people have the fortune to be born with the Gift, even fewer to have their Gift grow over time. Very few. You’re very lucky.”
Lasgol considered this. “Yeah, I’m very lucky. I’ll find a way to access it. No matter how long it takes.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” She smiled at him, so that he felt more hopeful. “And now, tell me, to what do I owe your visit? You’re not sick, and you didn’t know anything about this new development.”
