by Love Belvin
“Yo, peep this,” he started then licked his lips, “I know we been bumping heads since I been home, but I want you to know I got mad respect for you. It’s just…” He tried bowing his head and swiping his nose as though his words were difficult to speak. “I thought me and you was gone be together forever. I expected to come home and be right back with you and Ky. I ain’t expect you to give it to another nigga.”
My face opened up. “Give it?” My mouth formed a “wow” gesture. The word I couldn’t speak.
“Yeah. The more I think about it, I guess I could understand you getting lonely out here without me. But I think you shoulda got with a nigga more appropriate. You know: a regular Joe you could shake real quick.”
“According to you, this one is going to shake me soon.” I was being cheeky, I knew it. My face was placid and voice low. But I couldn’t help myself.
“Yeah. But you better than that anyway.” Ryshon attempted a soothing tone. He was trying to coax me. “You know you was always special, Jadee. That’s how I fell in love witchu. You was smart and sexy as fucky. Ya body stayed lit.” His curled index brushed against my thigh.
Reflexively, I backed out of his reach, hitting the brick building behind me.
“Don’t—”
The door burst open.
“Mommy—” Ky’s words were halted when he recognized his father and me right next to him. “Oh.”
“Come on, baby. It’s late.” I grabbed his hand and moved past Ryshon.
“But wait…” Ky tried.
“He can’t say bye to his old man?” Ryshon spoke concurrently.
I stopped and dropped Ky’s hand, my face falling and an exasperated breath leaving me. I didn’t turn around to watch the pair exchange pleasantries. I was ready to go. In no time, Ky was back at my side, grabbing my hand. I began my stride to the truck.
“Aye!” Ryshon called out. I tossed my chin over my shoulder. “You know I was just talking shit the other day. If you ever need anything, just call, yo. The block lit right now. I got you.”
“Like you had me back in 2015 when you bought Shontel and her girls a house?”
His neck snapped back as though offended.
“Yo, that was between me and her. What goes on between me and you is our business.”
My head rolled. “What was between us was an eviction.”
A slick smile formed under his chinky eyes, high from weed. “Yeah. I fucked up. But what’s between us now?”
I lifted my clasped hand over Kyree’s. “Just him. Only him.”
Then I turned and continued to the truck. I had to be on high alert to make sure we got there safely. Of course, this wasn’t something Ryshon thought to do. After getting in and making sure Ky was strapped in and with his device, I pulled off for Alpine. The drive home was quiet. I didn’t want to discuss the party with my son, something I normally would to see how he was feeling. I was too preoccupied settling with my own feelings of the night.
I didn’t hate Ryshon. I really didn’t. I just struggled to understand his love for his son and respect for me. But I tried being objective. Ryshon hadn’t changed. I had. Just as I was struggling to understand him, I bet he was trying to figure out the new me. Before this last bid in prison, I would’ve melted at the prospect of his attention. I craved approval, believing it was love.
In all honesty, I didn’t really understand my transformation over the years. Didn’t get how I’d evolved from the old Jade, but I had. I didn’t crave approval like I used to. I now worked to create a life for two incredible human beings to thrive and be all they were born to be. Kyree and Trent were amazing individuals and all I wanted to do was push and polish them for the world to be blessed by.
My hand dropped to my belly absentmindedly.
How can I make room for another?
How was I going to acclimate Ryshon to a life where I was no longer physically or emotionally available to him for manipulation? Kyree’s party was quickly approaching and I gave in to Trent’s adamance of having it at his mansion where Ryshon would be welcome to come and bring his other children. I was meeting with a wedding coordinator on Tuesday and seeing a GYN on Thursday for a possible pregnancy…all before my son’s birthday party. Oh, and I couldn’t forget hosting Trent’s grieving aunt. How was I going to hold it all together if I was indeed pregnant?
We pulled up to the house and I rolled down the window to punch in the code. The gates opened and I drove around, crossing the front of the house for the garages. I reached up and tapped the remote to open the one I used then waited for it to open. As the door retracted, I saw ankles then hairy muscular legs. Eventually, I made out purple basketball shorts as he leaned casually in the doorjamb with his inked arms crossed, waiting.
I pulled the truck in and parked. Before I killed the engine, Trent was at the back, opening the door to lift a sleeping Kyree out of the truck. I tapped the remote to close the garage door and made my way into the house. En route, Trent grabbed my bag and motioned for me to go ahead of him. I dropped my coat off by the laundry room and took the back stairs up. We quietly passed April’s closed door before making it to Ky’s room. Trent was on my heels and lay Kyree’s dead weight onto his bed. I began removing his coat and clothes, replacing them with his pajamas. Then I managed to get him underneath his comforter. Crouched over the side of his bed, I observed my son as I often did while he slept. I whispered a few lines of prayer over him then kissed his soft cheek.
When I moved to leave the room, I found Trent’s imposing frame at the door, waiting with crossed arms and ankles. He didn’t have my bag and Kyree’s coat was no longer on the floor where I’d dropped it. Trent asked for my hand with his own and led me down the hall to the master suit. He closed the door behind us and moved me to the middle of the floor and dutifully undressed me in silence. His eyes were busy at task, but there was no seduction to this act, I could tell. As he was pulling down my underwear, the last garment, he motioned for the bathroom.
The moment I was at the threshold, I could hear the water spraying from the shower. He’d started it for me. After relieving myself, I pinned my weave up and stepped under the steaming shooting water. With closed eyes, I tossed my head back and let the rush of the spring pound against my neck and cascade all around.
Wedding planning…
My mother’s out…
Trent’s youth football camp endeavors…
Doctor’s on Thursday…
Trent’s photoshoot next week…
Shontel and Ryshon in Trent’s home…
Being pregnant…
April’s comfort…
Kyree’s upcoming science project…
Seeing Little X…
Ryshon’s manipulative lengths…
The Gucci and Ase Garb contracts…
A baby…
Feeling weak at the knees I backed up to the bench off the shower wall and I sat down to catch my breath. A well of tears shot from my eyes and I cried into my palms, fighting desperately to keep the wails low. Failure. A familiar foe. It was encroaching again. In my new world. The one I wanted so badly. The life I couldn’t even dream of because my mind had been so polluted with fast living and engaging with people who didn’t know how to dream.
God had given me more than I had even imagined and I screwed it up with poor decisions that were catching up to me and a possible pregnancy I could have easily prevented. My shoulders vibrated and diaphragm danced furiously. I cried until I told myself to stop. It was counterproductive. I had to perform, not pity myself. Solutions wouldn’t come through tears. I had to move until they arrived.
I stood from the bench and washed. When I was done, I left the shower and brushed my teeth before drying off and throwing on one of Trent’s t-shirts. I opened the door to find him in the bed, on his iPad. He glanced over at me then yanked the comforter on my side of the bed open, inviting me in. I toed across the room and crawled into bed. Trent placed his device on the nightstand and snuggled with me, pulling me
into his hard frame.
“How did it go?”
My face hardened and I swallowed hard. I was exhausted, body throbbing with fatigue. There was no way I could give him an honest answer. I didn’t have it in me to open that can of worms.
“That scripture that speaks about God providing an escape when you’re tempted; which one is that?” I murmured, my eyes bouncing around one side of the room curiously.
Trent didn’t answer right away, but I knew he was considering it.
His thick chords vibrated, “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”
Yes! That’s the one!
It never failed to impress me how Trent was able to retain so many Bible verses and apply them to life.
“First Corinthians, Chapter ten Verse thirteen. Why?”
I relaxed into his arms finding comfort. “That was how it went tonight,” I whispered. “God provided an escape.”
“How?”
“You.” That was it. It was a multifaceted answer, but true. “You.” I reached over and kissed his soft lips to end the conversation.
I shared what he needed to know.
“So we need to stick to May?” Tessie Bell asked, her eyes shot up from her writing pad and landed on Jade.
So did mine.
Jade hesitated. She looked over to me as I stood by the window peeping at people passing in the city. I pulled at my beard, waiting on her.
Again…
Jade licked her lips. “Sure—yeah. Yeah. May.” Her long lashes fluttered and swung away from me.
Tessie’s confused eyes rolled over to me. Jade had been doing this since we got here at DiFillippo’s over an hour ago for this meeting with the wedding planner. Each time we needed to make a decision, she froze. I had to push her to make a selection—we had loads of them. I ain’t know jack about planning a wedding. Couldn’t pick out a flower to save my life. Didn’t know materials to place on the chairs and tables or if white doves were necessary or ice sculptures versus a waterfall with our name cascading. These were things Jade did know about and could decide on for us. But her head wasn’t in the game.
The one thing Jade and I were able to agree on was no engagement party. I wasn’t with spending money for that, especially since we were already married.
Tessie smiled big. “Any particular time of the month? Memorial Day weddings are growing popular.” Her eyes went between the two of us in the private room.
“The twentieth.” I snapped.
Jade and Tessie both jumped in their seats.
“Oh!” Tessie chirped, jotting it down on her pad.
Jade, next to her, threw me wild eyes. Why? Somebody had to make the call. Why were we dancing around doing what we were paying this woman to fly out from West Hollywood to do?
I could rip her little ass a new one right now!
“Alright.” Tessie sat up in her chair, clearing her throat. “We have an afternoon wedding and evening reception. Approximately two hundred guests—no more than two hundred fifty. The ceremony will be in Harlem at Redeeming Souls for Abundant Living in Christ Family Worship Center. Pastor Ezra T. Carmichael will be the officiant. The wedding party will consist of no more than six members, including flower girl and ring bearer.” She looked up from her pad to make sure we were still with her.
I nodded. Jade chewed her lip.
My phone rang. Chesney’s number showed.
Damn…
“I gotta take this.” I held the phone in the air. Then I walked over to Jade, sitting next to Tessie at the table looking smaller than I’d ever seen her. I bent down to her ear. “You changed ya mind?” She shook her head. “Then play nice. You’re hurting my feelings.”
I heard her suck in air as I stood to walk off. She was stressed. Hell, so was I. Not knowing if she was pregnant was killing me. Some days, I wanted to push for a home test that every other woman took. But Jade had been so damn sensitive lately, I didn’t think it was a good idea for me to stress her out. I kept telling myself a few days of waiting wouldn’t kill me.
“Yo,” I answered the phone before I made it out the doorway.
“TB, it’s Pete. Chesney and I are on a conference call and we’ve included you.”
I knew this call would come sometime today. Pete, my agent, told me to expect it. He was here in New York City and Chesney was in his L.A. office this week.
“Whaddup, Ches.”
“All’s well on this end, Trent. I should be in New York in a couple of weeks. Let’s do lunch.”
“That’s what’s up.” I scratched my chin through my beard, watching a waiter breeze past me. “How’d it go?” I wanted to get right to it.
“Jackson Hunter just left my office happy about the settlement,” Pete started. “But you know I had to remind him of why he hired me.” He laughed. I chuckled more to myself. When Jackson started Love Is Action, the sports agency under Dynamic Branding, he recruited the top agents and product managers in the game. Pete was one of the O.G.s Jax snatched from bigger and more established firms. Funny how I read an article written about his genius right before Super Bowl. Jackson did the same thing when he formed L.I.T. Music, a record label lighting up the music industry in no time. Jackson was for no games. He was definitely going to leave a legacy, and even bigger than his pops’.
“Well, Trent, you know Eli and his team started off with fifty over five,” Chesney kicked it off.
“Yeah.” I scratched the back of my head and was reminded I needed a haircut.
“We came back with ninety-two over three,” Pete chimed in. “We knew they’d balk at that, but between our formidable argument and Cole Richardson being your new A.D.P.S., we had lots of ammunition.”
“Not to mention,” Chesney spoke up, “your current contingent contract.” He grunted. “The disgusting thing! You’ve proven you’re still the real deal.” His tone was firm, confident.
“So we settled on four years, seventy-seven million, with a twenty mill signing bonus, and thirty-eight million guaranteed.”
“What’s the base for year one?” I asked.
“Nine million,” Chesney quickly came back. His voice was easy to identify; he used like ten different tones and they all had their own personalities. “They’re tacking the big numbers at the end of the four-year period. Wise asses.”
“Protection against early release?”
“The first two years are guaranteed at nine million each. Also, TB, don’t forget the twenty you’ll get at signing.”
My team seemed to have once again secured the bag.
To God be the glory…
“Cool.” My eyes squeezed in relief I didn’t know I needed.
The Kings were the only family I knew, but my trust game was weak. I needed to know what would happen if they tried to release me before the full payout. The devil on my shoulder wanted to remind me of how much more this contract would have been had I not gotten locked up. I refused to go there. Overall, I was seeing real NFL money again.
“I’m sure warm pussy and endless Mauve is on your agenda tonight!” Pete cheered.
I chuckled, rubbing the back of my head. “Maybe after I hit my knees in prayer.”
Pete shouted, “Yes, my brother!”
“Speaking of Mauve,” Chesney spoke up. “I have a few investment ideas for you to consider, TB. Now with your portfolio swelling again, it is a great time to secure returns on your wealth.”
“True that. Ches, what’s up with that Athan’s yogurt endorsement?”
“I have the paperwork on my desk now. I want to return it, recommending small but key changes. The contract as is, isn’t fluid enough for my liking. Greeks can be impulsively aggressive, but their impatience will work in my favor. That should be settled by the end of the week.”
“That’s what’s up.” I eyed the door where Jade and
the wedding planner were.
I was low key stressed about how Jade was getting on in there.
I took a deep breath, my eyes closing again. On the one hand, my heart overflowed with gratitude and joy for God providing. On the other, it was heavy with fear of losing my treasure. Jade. She was off, and there was no way I could celebrate without her.
“Yo, y’all did good. Again,” I made sure to emphasize. “I know I put us all at risk with my bullshit, but every time I’m on that field, I work hard to make sure we all eat. Y’all been good to me.” I placed my hand on my chest. “I can only hope to make you feel like you’re making good on your investments.”
Hell, Pete technically followed me to L.I.A. He knew it was a move I wanted to make and he took the opportunity on the strength of me. The nice sign-on bonus Hunter paid him didn’t hurt either.
“My gratitude is with you, Trent,” Chesney came back with.
“You’re my brother, bro,” Pete spoke at the same time.
“A’ight. I’m in the middle of a meeting. I’ll hit y’all later.”
“Okay, TB.”
“All right,” Chesney agreed and I killed the call.
My back hit the wall, out of the walkway of passing DiFillippo’s staff members, and I prayed words of gratitude. My worship was more than an act of religion, it was a working relationship with the Father. One that had intensified in my loneliest hours: in my empty home, in a jail cell. It was about that night before I turned myself in to the FEDs, when I cried so hard on the floor in my foyer. My greatest fear then was that it would be my last night in the crib in Alpine because I’d lose the house. I kept apologizing and begging Him to take the pain away. Instead, He did me one better: He walked me through the fire and restored me, for my testimony. Can’t tell people the goodness of Jesus and His power if you haven’t experienced it yourself.
I walked back into the private room with more swag in my step. Slowly, I opened one of the double doors blocked by a curtain and crept in quietly. Jade’s back was to me in her seat.
“Are you open to LaChateau in midtown Manhattan? They have several glorious ballrooms.” Tessie wasn’t looking at Jade while she tapped into her laptop.
