I can’t fight this. My mouth is saying what my mind is thinking. There’s no switch I can flip to turn this off. There’s nothing I can do to get a grip. The only “grip” I had was the one on her when I carried her in here like she was mine, and that’s exactly what she has to be.
The idea of feeling this way about another person used to be so absurd to me. I’m a doctor. The human body is just a body. We all have one. We all are born and we all die someday. No big deal.
Well, it is a big deal, a very big deal.
Because she’s woken me up and shown me it’s not how you begin and end your life, but what happens in the moments in between.
I’d always thought helping people by being a doctor and getting paid well for doing so was enough. That was a pretty good life by just about anyone’s standards, including mine.
Not anymore.
Those thoughts are totally out the window.
There’s only one life for me now, and that’s a life with her.
And I won’t stop until that’s exactly what I get.
CHAPTER 3
Austin
My hands take turns thrashing the speed bag at the gym. I’ve been working out like a fiend for two hours straight now.
Box jumps. Burpees. Boxing.
Normally I’m all about lifting heavy weights but it’s three in the morning and I need to get home and get some sleep and the only way to do that is to try and wear myself out.
But I’m relentless, my energy levels red-lining with no end in sight.
And it’s all because of her.
My shift ended at midnight and I came straight here. The place is pretty much a ghost town at this hour, which allows me to be the primal madman that she’s turned me into.
I move over to the full sized punching bag and start drilling it like it stole something from me.
Grunts come from deep within my belly as I exhale hard with each punch I throw.
Quickly I switch to elbows because they’re harder, more aggressive, and then I add in kicks and before I know it I’m beating the hell out of the bag, throwing everything I’ve got into it.
I drop a shoulder into it so hard it falls from the chain and to the ground.
The devastating blow I delivered should have dislocated my collarbone, but not tonight. Tonight I’m an animal uncaged and I can’t be stopped.
“Sir. Sir,” a guy I remember from the front desk says as he approaches me.
I turn, my eyes locking on his as I breathe hard, but not as hard as I should be.
“What!” I say, and it’s not a question. Who does he think he is bothering me? My mind is on her and anything that gets in the way of that I take as a personal attack on our relationship…the one that she doesn’t even know about yet, but which she will soon enough.
“I…” he says taking a step back, his shoulders hunching over as he slouches. “I’m…really sorry,” he begins, letting me know he’s already lost whatever request he had for me. His body language is that of a defeated man, no matter if he’s nearly my height and probably has ten additional pounds of muscle on me.
But muscles made in a lab are different than those made from over twenty years of pumping iron in the weight room. His gains come and go, and mine stay forever…just like my thoughts of her.
“I’m very sorry to bother you, sir…really sorry, but a few of our other guests have…expressed concern with your behav—, I mean your intensity…you know the intensity of your workouts, sir.”
“What the fuck is wrong with my intensity,” I say, showing him what intensity is when I step towards him as my eyes shoot fire through him.
“It’s scaring the other guests, sir.”
“The other guests? It looks like a Gold’s Gym convention in here from the days of Arnold Schwarzenegger. There’s no more than three guys and they’re all taller and weigh more than me. Hell, I recognize one from his days in the NFL.”
“I know sir, but they don’t feel safe around you, right now.”
“Do you?” I snarl.
He turns with his tail between his legs and takes off back down the stairs. The little pussy is probably going to call the cops or something, but there’s nothing they can do either.
I’m obsessed with her.
I get a running start and kick the bunch bag so hard it rolls up the incline used for sit-ups.
My phone rings and I walk over to it.
Damn, maybe she’s calling me. It’s just a thought and a crazy one at that. She doesn’t even have my number.
I see the eight zero eight area code and know it can only be one person…my little sister, Lisanne.
“What’s up, sis?” I ask immediately after hitting the green answer call button.
“Wow, what’s gotten into you?”
It’s not what I’ve gotten into, it’s what I’m going to get into…and claim as my own.
“Nothing.”
“Yeah, right,” she says sarcastically. Damn, if there’s anyone that can read me it’s her. “Something’s up what are you not telling me.” She pauses before continuing in a softer, slower tone. “What’s her name?”
“Who?”
“Uh huh,” she says.
“What are you doing up so late?” I ask, wanting to get off this subject.
“I just wanted to call and check on you, and see what your plans were for Christmas. You are my brother, you know.”
“I think I’m scheduled to work,” I say, having no idea if that’s the case, but knowing it probably will be. Everybody at the hospital knows I spend my holidays at work. What’s the point anyways? It’s better to get the triple time pay and I’m not a big family guy anyway. I’ve always preferred doing my own thing, and marching to the beat of a different drum…my drum.
But damn, when I examined Madison on that table tonight all I could think about was slapping her ass just like a drum. And that would be after I sunk my teeth into it, not hard of course…I think.
There’s just no telling what I’d do to her right now. She totally makes me lose my mind. I just want to put my mouth all over her perfect body and ram my dick inside her and fill her with my seed so fast and so hard she’s pregnant by Christmas morning.
As a doctor I know that’s ludicrous, but my mind is in a different place right now and something tells me it’s possible.
Anything’s possible with her.
“Well, don’t work too hard. I’m doing some projects and one of my jobs might require me to do some filming in the L.A. area. I was thinking of dropping by and saying hi. I just wanted to check first, but it sounds like you’re going to be home.”
I’ve always told my sister there’s no need for her to tell me when she wants to drop in. She knows where the spare key is hidden under the seventh brick that outlines the flowerbed in my front yard. Come to think about it I don’t even know what kind of flowers they are or who picked them out. They came with the house and all I do is dump water on them from time to time and cover them up every year before the first frost. I barely even keep them alive.
But all that’s about to change, because I’m ready to make a life with Madison. She’s not “some flower” she’s a rose, the perfect rose that I’m going to water and protect and make sure no one even thinks of touching, let alone harming, a single petal.
Because she’s mine and only mine.
“It’s best if you call before you come by,” I say.
The other end of the line goes silent before finally she says, “Okay, but if that’s the case then I’m definitely looking forward to meeting her, because I know she’s the one.”
“I gotta go, sis,” I say.
“Love you,” she says.
I hang up the phone and make my way out of the gym and into the snow.
It’s the first time it’s snowed in L.A. Since 1962, and it’s the first time I’ve ever felt this way, and it has nothing to do with the weather.
I’m in shorts and a drenched T-shirt and I don’t even feel, let alone comprehen
d, the cold…because I still haven’t been able to comprehend what’s happened since she walked into the hospital tonight.
All I know is I have to get home and try and get some sleep, even though I know that’s not going to be possible…at all.
CHAPTER 4
Madison
I fill the Ziploc bag with ice and move towards my bedroom.
After lying a towel down on my sheets and rapping the Ziploc bag with a thin towel I lie down and place it right on the spot where I fell.
It does nothing to relieve the heat that’s rushing through my body, and that has nothing to do with my injury and everything to do with him.
Fortunately he said it was just a minor injury, and I’ll probably just have a bruise on my butt as if I got slide tackled playing soccer or slid into a base playing softball.
Yeah, I’d like to play softball with him all right. He’s welcome in my dugout anytime.
I close my eyes as my mind wanders back to the examination.
My body jerks when I think about the way he looked at me just before he dropped that clipboard.
I writhe on the sheets as I remember the way his firm hand gripped my hip as his other hand took hold of the top of my yoga pants. I could feel his fingers gripping the fabric hard, knowing he wanted to yank them down and take me right then and there. We both wanted it.
But instead I heard an audible gulp and felt his knuckles rake over my cheek as he pulled my pants down just enough to examine me.
By the sight of his erection, which was as firm as the metal used to make the stethoscope around his neck, and long enough to more than fill me, I’d say he was more than pleased.
But that stethoscope wasn’t just for decoration. After taking my blood pressure I watched as he slid what should have been a cold instrument into the open buttons of my Henley shirt and underneath my bra.
I could feel my nipples pebble instantly from the instrument, and the base of his palm which found the valley in between my breasts as he held the stethoscope in place.
What I really want is for him to slide his dick inside me and hold it in place, while he fills me with his seed and we make a baby together.
I’ve never been that close to him before, never shared such an intimate moment.
And to think my dad was just outside the door casually having a cup of coffee made it that much more intense.
Just imagine my dad walking in while his best friend’s hand was well inside my top, or while he was “examining” my ass.
I know I had a red mark there already from the fall, but what I really wanted was a red mark from his hand as he brings it down on my globes all night long, telling me what a bad girl I’ve been this year.
Bad because I’ve been hiding a secret from him. I’ve been dishonest to him and to myself.
The truth is I want him more than anything, but I’m too chicken to tell him.
And when he told me I looked, “So…” and couldn’t even finish his sentence, I knew he felt the same way.
He gave me a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallow after taking a look at me. I took one sip and could feel the white foam catching on the top of my lip.
His eyes went right toward it and my heart pounded against my chest, knowing we were thinking the same thing.
Knowing we missed an opportunity.
Because my butt might be sore, but my mouth works fine, and the thought of taking his length, and tasting him for the first time is too much for me to handle right now.
I feel my hand slide inside my comfy cotton bed pants, not even realizing I’d slid it underneath me.
I dig my knees into the bed and start rocking forward and back, grinding the mattress into my middle as my first two fingers rub circles over my nub.
“Uh,” I moan as my head turns to the side and I inhale deep, imagining it’s him taking me from behind, his body weight on top of me holding me down, pressing me into the mattress.
He’s big, in more ways that one.
And I want to know all those ways down to the very last inch.
I rub faster, harder, and deeper until I feel the wave wash over me and my mouth open as my body jerks. I bite down hard on the pillow, but my moan is too strong.
With my other hand I pull the sheet over the top of me as I try and catch my breath.
There are a rapid-fire couple of knocks on my door and then it quickly comes open, my mom’s head sticking inside.
“Are you okay?” she says.
“Yeah, sorry,” I say. “Just a bit painful you know.”
“I know,” she says. “I’m sorry you fell. If it’s any consolation your grandparents loved our surprise Christmas caroling at their homes.”
“It’s more than a consolation,” I say. “Family is always the most important thing.”
“I know,” my mom says entering my room.
She wraps her hands around me from behind, my body tensing as my other hand is still down the front of my panties. I’m not about to pull it out now or she’ll quickly put the puzzle pieces together and realize my moan wasn’t from the pain of my fall, but from the pain of having to use my hand and not having the real thing, my man, inside me.
“Well, you’re in good hands with Doctor Abbot,” she says. “You know he’s a great guy.”
“Yes, he was really…professional,” I say, wishing he wasn’t.
“Yeah, he’s too good to be true. I can’t believe no one’s snatched him up yet. I guess he’s just too alpha for everyone. A man at that level must have a hard time finding a woman that’s right for him. Maybe one day,” my mom says.
“Yeah, maybe one day,” I say, knowing that day can’t come soon enough.
“Okay, I’m going to take a shower and go to bed. If you need anything in the middle of the night, just yell,” she says.
“Okay, I will,” I say. “Thanks.”
She kisses me on the cheek and leaves my room, shutting off the light before quietly closing the door.
Oh, I plan on yelling some more tonight, I think to myself as I carefully get out of bed to go lock my door. The last thing I want is anyone coming in again.
I make my way to the shower I share with my sister, knowing she’s fast asleep by now.
I lock the side of the bathroom where she enters and step into the shower. Quickly the lukewarm water washes over my skin, removing the evidence of my naughty behavior.
Normally I take my showers much, much warmer, but tonight I don’t need the water to warm me up. I’m still burning up for him.
I have no idea why, but we have one of those showerheads that’s attached to a hose, and not one that’s just fixed.
It always kind of annoyed me as a kid, but right now it’s about to be the second best “Christmas gift” I could get this season.
Second only to the real thing, and as I bring the showerhead down in-between my legs that’s just what I imagine it is.
Just two minutes later and my body is jerking again.
I’ve never been like this in my entire life, not like tonight at least.
Have I pleasured myself thinking about him? Absolutely, hundreds of times.
But not like tonight. Tonight I feel like I can’t get enough.
It’s like my feelings for him went from a scary level to something that’s definitely borderline obsessive.
I have to have him, and all this self-satisfaction isn’t going to suffice much longer.
Most importantly because it’s not satisfying at all. No matter how much I try and fool myself into believing I know it’s me who’s doing what I’m doing, not him.
And I want the real thing and the real thing only…the one and only, him.
And this Christmas I’m not waiting for Santa to bring me what I want more than anything else.
I’m going to go out and get it for myself.
CHAPTER 5
Madison
Three days before Christmas
I take a deep breath as I stand outside the hospital, ready to enter.
It’s not helping.
My whole body is on alert so I take a deep breath in again.
Nothing.
I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I pull out my phone and pop in my earphones, tapping in my Headspace app and listen to the short meditation app meant to help with nervousness and anxiety.
Possessive Doctor's Christmas: An Older Man Younger Woman Romance (A Man Who Know What He Wants Book 89) Page 2
