‘Please be calm, Barbara,’ he urged me in a soothing tone.
‘Calm? How can I possibly remain calm?’ I turned on him angrily, my skirts swishing on the carpet beneath me as I spoke. ‘Do you have any idea what an impossible situation you have put me in?’
‘Let us not be hasty,’ was Kieran’s reply.
‘Hasty!’ I exclaimed. ‘You were surely the one to be hasty by marrying me when poor Annabel, God rest her soul, had only been gone less than seven months, and now I find that after all you have put me through since I arrived at Rowan Castle, that our union, such as it is, may not be legal.’
‘But there is the chance it may be,’ Kieran had the audacity to say.
‘Well, I for one will be happy if the marriage is null and void,’ I told him. ‘And I feel the best thing I can do while the weather holds is to leave and go back to Shrewsbury.’ As I spoke I made my way past Kieran towards the door, but he stopped me, catching hold of my wrist.
‘Stay, please stay, give me a chance to make amends,’ he pleaded.
‘I think, Sir, that any relationship we may have had is beyond repair, now please release me.’
As I spoke the words, he hesitated before letting me go and as I made to leave the room he said quietly, ‘I shall not let this go, madam.’
Leaving the pleasant morning-room and walking back to the hallway with each step I took was a resolve to leave Rowan this very day, but I hadn’t bargained on bumping into Justine across the hallway.
‘All is not well, Barbara,’ she said walking swiftly towards me, ‘I perceive it by the expression on your face and the purposeful way you walk. What is wrong?’
‘It would appear that the marriage between your brother and myself may be illegal,’ I told her, stopping in front of her.
‘And what formalities are to be taken to resolve this?’ she asked me quietly.
‘I have little idea,’ I told her, ‘but my thought is to leave Rowan Castle today.’
‘Surely not!’ exclaimed Justine, a shocked look on her lovely face, her blue eyes looking at me with disbelief. ‘I will not let you go. In fact, I forbid it until such a time as this matter has been substantiated. It’s bad enough that Annabel has been found dead, but for you to leave would be a double setback for the Alexander family and there are your beautiful gowns, being stitched probably at this very moment.’
As Justine spoke the words I realised I had not given our visit to the dressmaker a thought. As we stood together in the hallway Justine placed a gentle hand over mine just as Mrs Burnet came from the direction of the kitchens carrying a large tray, closely followed by Ginny, a plate laden with cakes in her hand.
‘Shall we place this in the drawing-room, Miss?’ The housekeeper asked Justine as she smiled at me.
‘Yes please,’ said my sister-in-law, who then turned her attention back to me.
‘Come, Barbara,’ she persuaded, let us talk about this over a nice cup of hot tea.’
As she spoke, Kieran appeared from the direction of the morning-room, looking at both of us he said, ‘I have been a fool, yes indeed.’ With which words he disappeared up the beautiful staircase.
Justine and I sat drinking tea and talking over the day’s events.
‘Why would Kieran marry me so soon after the loss of his wife?’ I asked her, for this was the question which I kept asking myself.
‘Kieran must have loved you and indeed needed companionship,’ Justine said.
‘But there was no mention of love from either of us. In truth, I adore your brother, so if you ask why did I marry him, I can answer the question,’ I told her, and then there was Kerensa. Why had Kieran not married her? So I asked the question and Justine’s reply shocked me a little.
‘Because,’ she began, ‘my father left a clause in his will that Kieran and Kerensa should not marry.’
‘But why should this be?’ I said with curiosity. ‘And does Kerensa know of this?’
‘As to why, I don’t know the answer, but I am sure Kieran does and will not speak of it. Kerensa doesn’t know and we have been asked not to tell her.’
‘But why not?’ I asked with some exasperation, ‘for it is plain to see that the young woman adores your brother and he, her.’
‘You are right about her, Barbara, she does adore Kieran, but I have my suspicions that Kieran does not feel the same,’ she told me, and I wanted so much to tell her of the scene I had witnessed in the hall, but something thankfully stopped me. ‘So will you stay?’ asked Justine, rising from her seat and walking across to the window.
The light was fading fast and we were talking by firelight which cast soft shadows across the lovely peaceful room. Justine turned back, retracing her steps and came to sit beside me on the settle.
‘Please stay,’ she said softly, and I was reminded of the very same words Kieran had spoken only an hour since which strangely seemed like a lifetime ago and I set to wondering what his thoughts were at this moment. The shock of identifying Annabel would have been an ordeal for anyone and I suddenly felt uncharitable at the way I had berated him in the morning-room, today of all days.
‘You have persuaded me with your kind words,’ I agreed, ‘on condition that I am moved from the marital bedroom until such time as I have a right to be there.’
‘Very well, Barbara, I shall instruct Mrs Burnet to prepare the yellow room for you,’ agreed Justine.
‘So we are all happy,’ I said as Justine kissed me on the cheek and went over to pull the bell cord to summon Mrs Burnet.
Megan and the housekeeper moved my clothes and meagre belongings to my new room, which was a pleasant enough room with yellow brocade curtains at the windows and around the four-poster bed. A fire was soon burning cheerfully in the small black hearth.
‘There, mistress,’ said Peggy Burnet, ‘I do hope you feel settled in here. It’s none of my business why you have moved but we will make you as comfortable as we can, won’t we, Megan. Now, you come and sit on this armchair by the fire and try and get some rest,’ she said, plumping up a pretty floral cushion to place behind me. Just as I made myself comfortable Kerensa burst unannounced into the room.
‘So,’ she began, surveying the room as she spoke, ‘You’ve moved, I knew it wouldn’t last with Kieran, and now Annabel has been found it will be the end of your reign here,’ she told me unkindly, gloating at my predicament.
‘Off with you, Miss Kerensa,’ said Peggy Burnet, shooing the beautiful girl out of the room, but not before I had looked at her and said in a strong voice, ‘This mouse has found wings, Kerensa.’ The startled expression on her face made up for all the mixed fortunes this day had brought and I knew that the lovely Kerensa would know I had heard what she had called me and would no doubt flee to Kieran to tell him. Splendid, I thought, for he would know as well as she that I had witnessed the scene in the hall.
That night I lay in bed in my unfamiliar surroundings, the candlelight flickering over the yellow walls and I wondered what was to become of me now.
Next morning after Megan had drawn back the curtains, I slipped out of bed and stepped across to the window looking out over the scene before me. I could see that I was now situated at the back of the castle for the view was completely different. I could see the stables and a large rose garden surrounded by a low wall which in summer would be a lovely place to sit, but I doubted I would see a summer here, and I mused as to how the validity of my marriage would be ascertained.
I was to learn later that Kieran had it all in hand. As I thought of him he burst into the room just as Kerensa had the previous evening. I was startled at his intrusion for I was not yet dressed and I pulled my robe tightly around me.
‘What bad manners,’ I berated him. ‘Madam, you are, if you remember, my wife,’ he said quietly.
‘At this moment in time we are not certain of that, remember?’ I said cuttingly.
‘No matter, I have come to remind you of your promise to accompany me to Rowan Falls today,’ he said.
‘Very well, Barbara, we will take the pony and trap for it is a pleasant enough February day,’ he conceded. ‘And Barbara, all will be well, trust me,’ were his departing words at which I scoffed, for how could I possibly trust someone who now treated me as a stranger, not a wife.
I wore the wine-coloured velvet once more and thought momentarily how pleased I would be when my new gowns were ready. Mrs Harding, the dressmaker, had said to return in a week’s time. Maybe Justine would be kind enough to lend me another gown until then for she and I were the same size and height. Waiting in the hall for Kieran, his brother came over to me with his usual cheery smile.
‘And where are you going, fair damsel?’ he asked.
‘With Kieran to Rowan Falls,’ I answered, blushing at Derrick’s words.
‘Then be careful that my beloved brother doesn’t push you in,’ he said, the smile vanishing from his face. His words shocked me.
‘Why do you say that?’ I questioned.
‘No matter, it was a foolish thing to say, enjoy your outing,’ Derrick said and I had the briefest feeling as he walked away that he was jealous. What gave me that notion I had little idea but I knew I was right.
Kieran and I settled ourselves in the pony and trap, Kieran wrapping a blanket snugly around my legs for although the sun shone weakly the air was chill and I wondered if we would see any more snow this winter. It was a pleasing ride as we bowled along the country lane, the mountains rising majestically in the distance.
We came to a halt at the beginning of a rough track, Kieran helped me down, his hand lingering in mine and I had a pleasant feeling of being safe, which belied Derrick’s words.
‘Link your arm through mine, wife,’ said Kieran gently, ‘for the track is uneven and I don’t wish you to twist your pretty ankle.’ Kieran’s words caused me to realise he was being most charming today and I wondered at his change of heart and also mused as to what the lovely Kerensa would have to say about our outing together.
I heard the pounding of the water before I saw the falls and when they did come into view I gasped at the beauty of it, the water cascading down the high craggy rock was captivating. All we could hear was the rush of water as it tumbled down and over the large rocks in the river below. I stepped nearer to look at the frothy water which caressed the large boulders, and Kieran caught my arm pulling me back and I had an instinctive feeling that this was how Annabel had fallen to her death.
Kieran’s face was full of genuine concern and pain and I had at last seen a different side to his character once more in the briefest of moments. We couldn’t hear each other speak for the pounding of water, we just stood side by side for some time watching the beauty of the waterfall.
After some time we walked back to the pony and trap, my clothes were slightly damp where the water had sprayed me with a fine mist as it went on its merry way down the gorge but it didn’t bother me, I felt content and I realised it was because I had at last shared another pleasant moment with the man I’d married that day in the grim chapel.
‘What do you think of my favourite spot?’ asked Kieran as we left the roar of the water behind us.
‘It is beautiful, I am enraptured by it,’ I told him honestly, ‘and I wish so much to see it again one day soon.’
‘You shall, I promise you. It pleases me that you loved it so much for it is one thing at last we share, the love of Rowan Falls. If only you could learn to love me, too?’ he said almost to himself and I turned away as if I hadn’t heard, my heart racing and my whole being feeling a contentment I’d never expected to feel.
Arriving back at the castle, Kerensa spoilt the moment, it was almost as if she were waiting for our return.
‘Where have you been, Kieran darling?’ she gushed, coming over to us and totally ignoring me as if I weren’t there, which irked me more than I cared to admit.
‘We’ve been to Rowan Falls,’ I told her, my voice angry.
‘I hate the place,’ she said unexpectedly, ‘It’s far too noisy and damp for my liking.’ She went to put her arms around Kieran’s neck, but he pushed her away from him.
‘Remove yourself from me, Kerensa,’ he told her quite kindly.
‘What has happened to you, Kieran?’ she said in a rage, stamping her foot and looking at me with hatred in her eyes. ‘You’ve surely not fallen for the mouse!’ she screamed, total contempt in her voice.
‘These games have got to stop, for games they are,’ Kieran told her sharply. ‘You are old enough now to have respect for people and thankfully I have just come to realise it. Now, go and find something to do.’
I was amazed at Kieran’s words, had their closeness just been some game he indulged in to please her? Even if this was the case, he had failed to see that the young woman was besotted by him.
‘I have a new sampler you can stitch,’ I offered her kindly.
‘Sampler! You can keep your sampler. I have no time for ladies’ mundane pursuits, far better to be out riding a horse with the wind in your hair,’ she said to me with some disdain. Then she looked back at Kieran, ‘And you, sir, will tire of this woman for she has no fire in her blood.’ With which words she flounced off in the direction of the drawing-room where a moment later we heard the sound of the piano being played with gusto.
‘I apologise for Kerensa’s rudeness. I will not let her be rude to you again, she may have the fire in her blood but you are a gentlewoman and deserve better,’ he assured me.
As Kieran left me to keep an appointment in Llanberis, which I assumed to be pertaining to Annabel, I made my way to the ballroom for I wished to see the picture of Rowan Falls once more. As I entered the vast room I looked around me, imagining people in vibrant-coloured clothes whirling around the floor in celebration and me in my beautiful shimmering turquoise gown and my husband captivated by it.
But these were daydreams and would no doubt never take place now. I had a strong feeling that my marriage was indeed a sham and yet I had today once more seen the better side of the man I had married.
As I lay in bed that night thinking of our visit to the waterfall, I felt that a warm glow surrounded me. I could hear the crackle of the fire as it burned low in the hearth and hear my heart beating at the thought of my husband, who indeed may not be my husband, and I resolved to set the wheels in motion tomorrow to find out for certain for I needed to know.
As these thoughts warmed me and I was about to fall asleep I imagined I heard the sound of someone sobbing. I listened again and realised I had not imagined it, somewhere close by a woman was sobbing. Swiftly I got out of bed, it seemed to be coming from the chimney breast. Was it Kerensa?
I wondered as I listened to the painful sound, but it could not be her for her room I had learned was at the other end of the corridor. Then who was it? The sound subsided and I got back into bed listening for some time, but the sound didn’t come again and I drifted into a peaceful slumber resolving to ask Mrs Burnet who slept on the other side of the chimney.
6
Next morning after Megan had helped me prepare for breakfast in my grey day dress she went in search of Mrs Burnet for me. Half-an-hour later the housekeeper appeared in my room, the keys jangling at her waist.
‘Megan said you wished to see me, mistress,’ she said.
‘Can you tell me, Mrs Burnet, who sleeps in the room the other side of my chimney breast?’ I asked her.
This morning after thinking it over I was more perplexed than ever as I’d been to Justine’s room so I knew it wasn’t her, so if it wasn’t Justine or Kerensa, who else could it be? Apart from myself they were the only females in the castle excluding the servants, and surely it couldn’t possibly be one of them, I waited with some anticipation for the housekeeper’s reply.
‘It’s the uninhabited wing of the castle, mistress,’ she told me looking somewhat perplexed herself. No-one sleeps there to my knowledge, why do you ask?’
At Peggy Burnet’s question I hesitated as to whether to tell her but decided I could trust her. ‘I heard the sound of weeping and it appeared to be coming from behind the chimney.’
‘That’s strange, mistress.’ And at her words I was waiting for her to ask me if I’d imagined it, but she didn’t.
‘Have you any idea whose room it is the other side of the chimney?’ I asked.
‘Well I think it was the mistress’ room,’ offered Peggy Burnet.
‘You mean my husband’s first wife?’ I said feeling more perplexed than ever.
‘Bless me, no,’ was her reply, ‘It was the old master’s wife who slept in that room, the first mistress Annabel.’
‘And have you the key to this room?’ I then asked.
‘I have, mistress, but no-one is to go there,’ the housekeeper said with some alarm.
‘You agree that I am the mistress here?’ I asked gently.
‘I do indeed,’ she replied adamantly.
‘Then please give me the key. If anyone challenges you then it is my fault,’ I instructed her.
‘Very well,’ she agreed, ‘but I must accompany you, you will never find it with all these corridors being like a maze,’ the housekeeper said kindly.
‘I’ll meet you back here after breakfast if you are agreeable, shall we say ten o’clock?’ I suggested.
‘That suits me fine, mistress. I can get on with my other tasks in the meantime,’ Peggy agreed.
‘And please Peggy, tell no-one,’ I told her as she left the room.
‘Don’t worry, mistress. I can keep my mouth closed,’ the housekeeper assured me and I did indeed trust her.
Entering the dining room I could see that Kerensa was there in earnest conversation with Derrick, they both stopped talking when they saw me.
‘Please don’t let me interrupt your conversation,’ I told them as I served myself some breakfast and then seating myself opposite Derrick I helped myself to coffee. Kerensa wore the colour green today once more, which suited her admirably, matching her startling green eyes.
A Strange Affair Page 5
