“And it has. Hasn’t it?”
He brushes a stray hair away from his face and avoids my eyes. I didn’t know his hair was so thick—it was hard to tell when it was buzzed short, Abnegation hair, but now it’s two inches long and almost hangs over his forehead. It makes him look less threatening, more like the person I’ve come to know in private.
“Yes,” he says. “But the number is still the same.”
I hear the train horn blasting to my left, but the light fixed to the first car is not on. Instead it slides over the rails like some hidden, creeping thing.
“Fifth car back!” he shouts.
We both break into a sprint. I find the fifth car and grab the handle on the side with my left hand, pulling as hard as I can. I try to swing my legs inside, but they don’t quite make it; they are dangerously close to the wheels—I shriek, and scrape my knee against the floor as I yank myself inside.
Tobias gets in after me and crouches by my side. I clutch my knee and grit my teeth.
“Here, let me see,” he says. He pushes my jeans up my leg and over my knee. His fingers leave streaks of cold on my skin, invisible to the eye, and I think about wrapping his shirt around my fist and pulling him in to kiss me; I think about pressing myself against him, but I can’t, because all our secrets would keep a space between us.
My knee is red with blood. “It’s shallow. It’ll heal quickly,” he says.
I nod. The pain is already subsiding. He rolls my jeans so they will stay up. I lie back, staring at the ceiling.
“So is he still in your fear landscape?” I say.
It looks like someone lit a match behind his eyes. “Yes. But not in the same way.”
He told me, once, that his fear landscape hadn’t changed since he first went through it, during his initiation. So if it has, even in a small way, that’s something.
“You’re in it, though.” He frowns at his hands. “Instead of having to shoot that woman, like I used to, I have to watch you die. And there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”
His hands shake. I try to think of something helpful to say. I’m not going to die—but I don’t know that. We live in a dangerous world, and I am not so attached to life that I will do anything to survive. I can’t reassure him.
He checks his watch. “They’ll be here any minute.”
I get up, and see Evelyn and Edward standing next to the tracks. They run before the train passes them, and jump in with almost as little trouble as Tobias. They must have been practicing.
Edward smirks at me. Today his eye patch has a big blue “X” stitched over it.
“Hello,” Evelyn says. She looks only at Tobias as she says it, like I’m not even there.
“Nice meeting location,” says Tobias. It is almost dark now, so I see only shadows of buildings against a dark blue sky, and a few glowing lights near the lake that must belong to Erudite headquarters.
The train takes a turn it doesn’t usually take—left, away from the glow of Erudite and into the abandoned part of the city. I can tell by the growing quiet in the car that it is slowing down.
“It seemed safest,” says Evelyn. “So you wanted to meet.”
“Yes. I’d like to discuss an alliance.”
“An alliance,” repeats Edward. “And who gave you the authority to do that?”
“He’s a Dauntless leader,” I say. “He has the authority.”
Edward raises his eyebrows, looking impressed. Evelyn’s eyes finally shift to me, but only for a second before she smiles at Tobias again.
“Interesting,” she says. “And is she also a Dauntless leader?”
“No,” he says. “She’s here to help me decide whether or not to trust you.”
Evelyn purses her lips. Part of me wants to thumb my nose at her and say, “Ha!” But I settle for a small smile.
“We will, of course, agree to an alliance . . . under a certain set of conditions,” Evelyn says. “A guaranteed—and equal—place in whatever government forms after Erudite is destroyed, and full control over Erudite data after the attack. Clearly—”
“What are you going to do with the Erudite data?” I interrupt her.
“Obviously we will destroy it. The only way to deprive the Erudite of power is to deprive them of knowledge.”
My first instinct is to tell her she’s a fool. But something stops me. Without the simulation technology, without the data they had about all the other factions, without their focus on technological advancement, the attack on Abnegation would not have happened. My parents would be alive.
Even if we manage to kill Jeanine, could the Erudite be trusted not to attack and control us again? I am not sure.
“What would we receive in return, under those terms?” Tobias says.
“Our much-needed manpower, in order to take Erudite headquarters, and an equal place in government, with us.”
“I am sure that Tori would also request the right to rid the world of Jeanine Matthews,” he says in a low voice.
I raise my eyebrows. I didn’t know that Tori’s hatred of Jeanine was common knowledge—or maybe it isn’t. He must know things about her that others don’t, now that he and Tori are leaders.
“I’m sure that could be arranged,” Evelyn replies. “I don’t care who kills her; I just want her dead.”
Tobias glances at me. I wish I could tell him why I feel so conflicted . . . explain to him why I, of all people, have reservations about burning Erudite to the ground, so to speak. But I would not know how to say it even if I had the time to. He turns toward Evelyn.
“Then we are agreed,” he says.
He extends his hand, and she shakes it.
“We should convene in a week’s time,” she says. “In neutral territory. Most of the Abnegation have graciously agreed to let us stay in their sector of the city to plan as they clean up the aftermath of the attack.”
“Most of them,” he says.
Evelyn’s expression turns flat. “I’m afraid your father still commands the loyalty of many of them, and he advised them to avoid us when he came to visit a few days ago.” She smiles bitterly. “And they agreed, just as they did when he persuaded them to exile me.”
“They exiled you?” says Tobias. “I thought you left.”
“No, the Abnegation were inclined toward forgiveness and reconciliation, as you might expect. But your father has a lot of influence over the Abnegation, and he always has. I decided to leave rather than face the indignity of public exile.”
Tobias looks stunned.
Edward, who has been leaning out the side of the car for a few seconds, says, “It’s time!”
“See you in a week,” Evelyn says.
As the train dips down to street level, Edward leaps. A few seconds later, Evelyn follows. Tobias and I remain on the train, listening to it hiss against the rails, without speaking.
“Why did you even bring me along, if you were just going to make an alliance anyway?” I say flatly.
“You didn’t stop me.”
“What was I supposed to do, wave my hands in the air?” I scowl at him. “I don’t like it.”
“It has to be done.”
“I don’t think it does,” I say. “There has to be another way—”
“What other way?” he says, folding his arms. “You just don’t like her. You haven’t since you first met her.”
“Obviously I don’t like her! She abandoned you!”
“They exiled her. And if I decide to forgive her, you had better try to do it too! I’m the one who got left behind, not you.”
“This is about more than that. I don’t trust her. I think she’s trying to use you.”
“Well, it isn’t for you to decide.”
“Why did you bring me, again?” I say, mirroring him by folding my arms. “Oh yeah—so that I could read the situation for you. Well, I read it, and just because you don’t like what I decided doesn’t mean—”
“I forgot about how your biases cloud your judgment. If I had
remembered, I might not have brought you.”
“My biases. What about your biases? What about thinking everyone who hates your father as much as you do is an ally?”
“This is not about him!”
“Of course it is! He knows things, Tobias. And we should be trying to find out what they are.”
“This again? I thought we resolved this. He is a liar, Tris.”
“Yeah?” I raise my eyebrows. “Well, so is your mother. You think the Abnegation would really exile someone? Because I don’t.”
“Don’t talk about my mother that way.”
I see light up ahead. It belongs to the Pire.
“Fine.” I walk to the edge of the car door. “I won’t.”
I jump out, running a few steps to keep my balance. Tobias jumps out after me, but I don’t give him a chance to catch up—I walk straight into the building, down the stairs, and back into the Pit to find a place to sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Six
SOMETHING SHAKES ME awake.
“Tris! Get up!”
A shout. I don’t question it. I throw my legs over the edge of the bed and let a hand pull me toward the door. My feet are bare, and the ground is uneven here. It scrapes at my toes and the edges of my heels. I squint ahead of me to figure out who’s dragging me. Christina. She’s almost pulling my left arm from its socket.
“What happened?” I say. “What’s going on?”
“Shut up and run!”
We run to the Pit, and the roar of the river follows me up the paths. The last time Christina pulled me out of bed, it was to see Al’s body lifted out of the chasm. I grit my teeth and try not to think about that. It can’t have happened again. It can’t.
I gasp—she runs faster than I do—as we sprint across the glass floor of the Pire. Christina slams her palm into an elevator button and slips inside before the doors are fully open, dragging me behind her. She jabs the DOOR CLOSE button, and then the button for the top floor.
“Simulation,” she says. “There’s a simulation. It’s not everyone, it’s just . . . just a few.”
She puts her hands on her knees and takes deep breaths.
“One of them said something about the Divergent,” she says.
“Said that?” I say. “While under a simulation?”
She nods. “Marlene. Didn’t sound like her, though. Too . . . monotone.”
The doors open, and I follow her down the hallway to the door marked ROOF ACCESS.
“Christina,” I say, “why are we going to the roof?”
She doesn’t answer me. The stairs to the roof smell like old paint. Dauntless graffiti is scrawled on the cement-block walls in black paint. The symbol of Dauntless. Initials paired together with plus signs: RG + NT, BR + FH. Couples who are probably old now, maybe broken up. I touch my chest to feel my heartbeat. It’s so fast, it’s a wonder I’m still breathing at all.
The night air is cool; it gives me goose bumps on my arms. My eyes have adjusted to the darkness by now, and across the roof I see three figures standing on the ledge, facing me. One is Marlene. One is Hector. One is someone I don’t recognize—a young Dauntless, barely eight years old, with a green streak in her hair.
They stand still on the ledge, though the wind is blowing hard, tossing their hair over their foreheads, into their eyes, into their mouths. Their clothes snap in the wind, but still they stand motionless.
“Just come down off the ledge now,” Christina says. “Don’t do anything stupid. Come on, now . . .”
“They can’t hear you,” I say quietly as I walk toward them. “Or see you.”
“We should all jump at them at once. I’ll take Hec, you—”
“We’ll risk shoving them off the roof if we do that. Stand by the girl, just in case.”
She is too young for this, I think, but I don’t have the heart to say it, because it means Marlene is old enough.
I stare at Marlene, whose eyes are blank like painted stones, like spheres of glass. I feel as if those stones are slipping down my throat and settling in my stomach, pulling me toward the ground. There is no way to get her off that ledge.
Finally she opens her mouth and speaks.
“I have a message for the Divergent.” Her voice sounds flat. The simulation is using her vocal cords, but robs them of the natural fluctuations of human emotion.
I look from Marlene to Hector. Hector, who was so afraid of what I am because his mother told him to be. Lynn is probably still at Shauna’s bedside, hoping Shauna can move her legs when she wakes up again. Lynn can’t lose Hector.
I step forward to receive the message.
“This is not a negotiation. It is a warning,” says the simulation through Marlene, moving her lips and vibrating in her throat. “Every two days until one of you delivers yourself to Erudite headquarters, this will happen again.”
This.
Marlene steps back, and I throw myself forward, but not at her. Not at Marlene, who once let Uriah shoot a muffin off her head on a dare. Who gathered a stack of clothing for me to wear. Who always, always greeted me with a smile. No, not at Marlene.
As Marlene and the other Dauntless girl step off the edge of the roof, I dive at Hector.
I grab whatever my hands can find. An arm. A fistful of shirt. The rough rooftop scrapes my knees as his weight drags me forward. I am not strong enough to lift him. I whisper, “Help,” because I can’t speak any louder than that.
Christina is already at my shoulder. She helps me haul Hector’s limp body onto the roof. His arm flops to the side, lifeless. A few feet away, the little girl lies on her back on the rooftop.
Then the simulation ends. Hector opens his eyes, and they are no longer empty.
“Ow,” he says. “What’s going on?”
The little girl whimpers, and Christina walks over to her, mumbling something in a reassuring voice.
I stand, my entire body shaking. I inch toward the edge of the roof and stare at the ground. The street below isn’t lit very well, but I can see Marlene’s faint outline on the pavement.
Breathing—who cares about breathing?
I turn from the sight, listening to my heart beat in my ears. Christina’s mouth moves. I ignore her, and walk to the door and down the stairs and down the hallway and into the elevator.
The doors close and as I drop to the earth, just as Marlene did after I decided not to save her, I scream, my hands tearing at my clothes. My throat is raw after just a few seconds, and there are scratches on my arms where I missed the fabric, but I keep screaming.
The elevator stops with a ding. The doors open.
I straighten my shirt, smooth my hair down, and walk out.
I have a message for the Divergent.
I am Divergent.
This is not a negotiation.
No, it is not.
It is a warning.
I understand.
Every two days until one of you delivers yourself to Erudite headquarters . . .
I will.
. . . this will happen again.
It will never happen again.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
I WEAVE THROUGH the crowd next to the chasm. It’s loud in the Pit, and not just because of the river’s roar. I want to find some silence, so I escape into the hallway that leads to the dormitories. I don’t want to hear the speech Tori will make on Marlene’s behalf or be around for the toasting and the shouting as the Dauntless celebrate her life and her bravery.
This morning Lauren reported that we missed some of the cameras in the initiate dormitories, where Christina, Zeke, Lauren, Marlene, Hector, and Kee, the girl with the green hair, were sleeping. That’s how Jeanine figured out who the simulation was controlling. I do not doubt that Jeanine chose young Dauntless because she knew their deaths would affect us more.
I stop in an unfamiliar hallway and press my forehead to the wall. The stone feels rough and cool on my skin. I can hear the Dauntless shouting behind me, their voices muffled by layers of rock.
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I hear someone approaching, and look to the side. Christina, still wearing the same clothes she wore last night, stands a few feet away.
“Hey,” she says.
“I’m not really in the mood to feel more guilt right now. So go away, please.”
“I just want to say one thing, and then I will.”
Her eyes are puffy and her voice sounds a little sleepy, which is either due to exhaustion or a little alcohol, or both. But her stare is direct enough that she must know what she’s saying. I pull away from the wall.
“I’d never seen that kind of simulation before. You know, from the outside. But yesterday . . .” She shakes her head. “You were right. They couldn’t hear you, couldn’t see you. Just like Will . . .”
She chokes on his name. Stops, takes a breath, swallows hard. Blinks a few times. Then looks at me again.
“You told me you had to do it, or he would have shot you, and I didn’t believe you. I believe you now, and . . . I’m going to try to forgive you. That’s . . . all I wanted to say.”
There’s a part of me that feels relief. She believes me, she’s trying to forgive me, even though it won’t be easy.
But a larger part of me feels anger. What did she think, before now? That I wanted to shoot Will, one of my best friends? She should have trusted me from the beginning, should have known that I wouldn’t have done it if I had been able to see another option at the time.
“How fortunate for me that you finally got proof that I’m not a cold-blooded murderer. You know, other than my word. I mean, what reason would you have to trust that?” I force a laugh, trying to stay nonchalant. She opens her mouth, but I keep talking, unable to stop myself. “You’d better hurry on that forgiving-me thing, because there isn’t much time—”
My voice cracks, and I can’t hold myself together anymore. I start sobbing. I lean against the wall for support and feel myself sliding down as my legs get weak.
My eyes are too blurry to see her, but I feel her when she wraps her arms around me and squeezes so hard it hurts. She smells like coconut oil and she feels strong, exactly like she was during initiation into Dauntless, when she hung over the chasm by her fingertips. Back then—which was not so long ago—she made me feel weak, but now her strength makes me feel like I could be stronger too.
The Divergent Library: Divergent; Insurgent; Allegiant; Four: The Transfer, The Initiate, The Son, and The Traitor (Divergent Series) Page 51
