by Lynn Ames
After eight months together, she had to pinch herself every now and again to trust that this was real. To think that she found the one person in the world who saw her completely for herself… It was more than she believed she’d ever have and all that she knew she’d ever want. I love you, Rebecca Minton. I can’t wait to marry you.
She can’t see you completely for yourself until you show her all of you.
Dara started as she heard her mother’s voice in her head. “Oh, my God. Not now, Mother,” she mumbled.
You can’t keep putting it off. She deserves to know.
Panic began to bloom in Dara’s chest.
“Are you coming?”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“The band is playing our song,” one of the other honorees said.
When Dara glanced around, she realized the recessional was about to start and she needed to parade out. When the recessional ended, she searched for Rebecca. Along the way, she signed many autographs for new graduates and their parents.
“I’m sorry. I need to go find someone,” she said, apologizing to the now rather large throng of autograph seekers.
“Looking for me?”
Dara turned to see Rebecca leaning against the tree to her right, watching her. “As a matter of fact, Professor, I was.”
“Walk this way. I promise to protect you from the mob.” Rebecca winked.
As they ambled across the verdant lawn, someone called out to them. “Dara! Rebecca! Wait.”
Dara pulled them up short. “I could swear that sounded like Carolyn.”
“Nah.” Rebecca urged them forward.
“Wait, damn it!”
“Definitely Carolyn,” Dara said. She pivoted in the direction of the voice. Indeed, it was her best friend.
“My God, I thought you’d never stop.” Carolyn put her hands on her knees, catching her breath.
“What in the world are you doing here?” Dara asked.
“It was easier to drive up here from New York than it was to fly to LA to see you tomorrow.”
“Why would you need to do either?” Rebecca asked reasonably. “Doesn’t your phone work?”
“Very funny. You can’t sign something over the phone.”
“Sign something?”
“What am I signing that’s important enough to make you drive almost six hours to bring it to me?” Dara asked.
“Never mind that,” Rebecca chimed in. “If you just drove up now you had to start at the crack of dawn. What’s going on?”
“Business is going on. Is there somewhere we can talk?”
Dara looked to Rebecca. “Sure. We can either go to my place, or I can treat you both to lunch at Mr. Up’s. If we hustle, we can beat the bulk of the graduation crowd.”
“This could be somewhat delicate.” Carolyn checked their surroundings. “I’m thinking your house might be best under the circumstances.”
“Okay. How about if I drive us? We can come back and get your car later.”
“Perfect.”
Rebecca pointed out the sights for Carolyn on the way to her place.
“It’s beautiful. Bucolic.”
“Peaceful,” Dara said. And it was. She enjoyed her visits here because it was so different from the hustle and bustle of LA.
“This is it.”
“It’s lovely,” Carolyn said, as she turned in a circle in the foyer.
“Thanks. It’s home.”
When they were situated inside the living room, Dara couldn’t wait anymore. “Why are you here? Don’t get me wrong. You know I love you to pieces. But what gives?”
“The studio gives,” Carolyn said. “A lot. As in money. As in the potential benefits here are astronomical.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the phone call I got from Randolph Curtain in what was the middle of the night for him last night and what was way too early this morning for me.”
Rebecca brought iced tea for all of them.
“He said the front end of the weekend box office was out of sight. So much so that he didn’t even want to wait for the full weekend numbers. He was satisfied that Friday’s take would only multiply on Saturday and today.”
“That’s fantastic,” Rebecca said. “Right?”
Dara laughed at her and kissed her on the cheek. “Right, Ms. Hollywood movie expert. Okay. So the numbers are good. We’ll all be rich thanks to my most excellent business manager who negotiated Dara and Constance incredibly generous contracts that included a piece of the box office take. Why does Randolph have ants in his pants?”
“He wants to option Constance’s latest book right away before anyone else jumps in.”
“He wants the rights to Love Above All Else?”
“Yes, and he wants it tied up today. He sent a contract he had his people draw up at one o’clock this morning.”
“Wow. That’s serious. The terms?”
“I’ll push for a bigger share of the box office this time, but otherwise it’ll be the same as On the Wings of Angels.”
“That’s awesome, isn’t it?” Rebecca asked. “I mean, you could pull off the same setup. Dara is the right age to play the lead, even though the character ages during the course of the story. They’ve got makeup for that and prosthetics, right?”
Dara sat very still.
“Say something,” Rebecca said.
“I’m thinking.”
“I can see that. Think faster.”
“Okay. Here’s what I think.” She sat forward. “Put two stipulations in Constance’s contract. If he really wants this book so badly, he’ll have to agree to them.”
Carolyn took out her iPad.
“Stipulation One—Dara Thomas plays Courtney.”
“Okay. You know that’s not done. The author doesn’t get to pick the actors.”
“She will this time. And Stipulation Two—Constance will only sell the rights if Rebecca Minton is the screenwriter.”
“What?” Rebecca and Carolyn exclaimed in unison.
“You heard me.” Dara knelt in front of Rebecca and took her hands. “What you did with On the Wings of Angels was genius. We saw what happened when I trusted the studio to hire the right screenwriter for the project. No one understands my characters and my stories better than you do. You truly are the preeminent Constance Darrow scholar.”
“But…”
“Constance dedicated the book to you. It would only be natural that she would want you to write the treatment. Especially knowing that you were brought in to doctor On the Wings of Angels.”
“How would she know that? I didn’t get a screen credit.”
“That doesn’t matter,” Carolyn jumped in. “She would’ve heard. I’m business manager to both of them. I would’ve told Constance.”
“There you go.” Dara closed her eyes, trying to organize what she wanted to say to Rebecca. “You’re my life—the one person who sees inside me and understands my heart and the context for my work. I can’t imagine trusting Constance’s words to anyone else. I won’t sign if you’re not part of the package.”
“It would give you the perfect cover to be spending a lot of time together again,” Carolyn added.
Rebecca bit her lip. “It would likely mean I’d have to give up my professorship. Once was a fluke they were willing to work with. Twice…”
Dara nodded sadly. “I understand. It’s a lot to ask you to give up your life here.” She started to get up and Rebecca held her in place.
“It’s not what I’m giving up that matters,” Rebecca said quietly. “It’s what I’d be walking into and the awesome responsibility of it. I’ve never written a screenplay. It’s one thing to fix something that already exists. It’s quite another to create something from scratch.”
“I believe in you, Rebecca. I trust you.”
“We could do it together. You could help me write it.”
Dara shook her head. “No. You don’t need me for this. I’ve seen you in action. Y
ou understood what to do with that script better than I did. You saw better solutions. Your writing was crisp and clear. Your dialogue was pitch perfect.
“I write novels. They ebb and flow and meander. A screenplay is a completely different genre and it requires a different mindset. I can’t bring a fresh mindset to something that exists within me in a fixed format. I need you.”
“What happens if I let you down? What happens if I write a flop?”
“You won’t.”
“I could ruin your career. I couldn’t live with myself.”
“I can’t live without you. My career comes in a distant second if I have to choose.”
The words were out before Dara could process their implication, but in her heart she knew that was the truth, and it felt freeing. “And if you want and you can get them to grant you a sabbatical for the year to make the movie, I would take a year off after the film and we could live here together while you teach. Who knows, maybe Constance could get another book written while gazing out at the mountains.”
“You can’t take a year off at the height of your career. I won’t have it,” Rebecca said. “When you win the Oscar for Celeste, and you will, you’re going to be in even more demand than you are now.”
“What did I tell you about saying that kind of stuff out loud?”
“Aha! So, you really are superstitious.”
Dara wagged a finger at her. That’s beside the point and don’t change the subject.”
“Carolyn? If you proposed these terms to the studio, do you think they would accept?” Rebecca asked.
“Given that Randolph thought it was important enough to bring his lawyer out in the middle of the night on a Saturday night to draft the contract, my professional opinion would be that he might go for it.”
Carolyn turned to Dara and then to Rebecca. “Rebecca, can you give Dara and me a minute?”
Dara said, “That won’t be—”
“Sure. I’ll be out on the deck.”
When Rebecca was out of earshot, Dara whispered fiercely, “What are you doing?”
“Did you hear yourself? You told Rebecca she understood you completely, she understood what was in your heart. But there’s this one pretty significant thing about you that she doesn’t know—you’re a medium. Or did you tell her?”
“Damn it, Carolyn.” Dara jumped up to pace.
“So, you didn’t tell her. You can’t ask this woman to turn her whole life upside down without being completely honest with her. It’s not fair.”
Dara turned beseeching eyes to her best friend. “What if it’s a deal breaker? What if she can’t accept that part of me?”
“Don’t you think you should find that out now?”
Tears sprang to Dara’s eyes.
Carolyn got up and put her hands on Dara’s shoulders. “I’d like to think I’m a good judge of character. Rebecca is one of the genuinely nicest human beings I’ve ever met. She’s never given any indication that she’s anything but open and accepting about anything to do with your life. Why would this be any different?”
Dara swallowed down a sob. “Why can’t I just keep that to myself? It’s not like it happens all the time and it’s not like I’m going to talk about it anywhere.”
“You mean it’s not like when you were a kid. You’ve learned to keep your mouth shut about it,” Carolyn said quietly. “Sounds an awful lot to me like there’s a very scared little girl in there.” She tapped a finger against Dara’s heart.
Dara closed her eyes tightly as a tear leaked out. Her lips started to tremble. “I’m scared, Car. Rebecca is the one. She’s the person I’ve been waiting for my whole life.”
“Then trust her with this.” Carolyn wiped a tear from Dara’s cheek. “Have faith. It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”
“You really think so?”
“I do. And I think she deserves to know before she makes any decisions about her career or her life.”
Dara nodded resolutely. “I’ll go out there and talk to her.”
“Everything all right?” Rebecca asked, when Dara joined her on the deck.
“Sure.”
“You’ve been crying.” Rebecca pulled Dara to her and held her close. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing. I-it’s… There’s something I need to tell you. About me. Something I should have told you a long time ago.”
Rebecca’s heart hammered. She let go of Dara and stood at the railing, looking out over the backyard. “You don’t want to be with me anymore. You just couldn’t figure out how to let me down gently.” Rebecca tried to swallow, tried to breathe, but she couldn’t. Please, God, I won’t be able to stand it if this ends.
“What?” Dara grabbed her from behind and whirled her around, holding her tight. “Why on Earth would you think that? Did you hear everything I just said to you in there? You’re my life, Rebecca.” Dara rocked them from side to side. “That isn’t it at all. It’s about who I am. Or at least, about a part of me I haven’t shared with you until now.”
“I’m listening.” Rebecca’s voice sounded strained, even to her own ears. She pulled away from Dara’s embrace and sat down in one of the chairs.
Dara sat on the edge of the other chair and faced her. “Do you remember Renée Maupin? You met her at the movie premiere. She and her wife, Yahzi sat with you and Carolyn.”
Rebecca nodded. “You grew up together.”
“Right.” Dara fidgeted in the chair. “Carolyn told me afterward that you asked Renée a question that she never answered because the movie started.”
Rebecca thought back to that night. She had teased Carolyn about finding out more about her and Dara as children. And the look on Renée’s face was sheer panic. “I remember. I thought Renée’s reaction was odd.”
“That’s because she didn’t know what to say to you. You see, my relationship with Renée back then was…contentious.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning she was my worst nightmare. Remember how you told me you got bullied at school?”
“Yes.”
“And I told you I knew exactly how you felt, but I said that was another story for another day?”
Rebecca nodded. “I let it slide because I knew you were a very private person, and it felt like the topic might be painful for you.”
“Oh.” Dara touched Rebecca’s arm with her fingertips, then let her hand drop. “You are the most sensitive, perceptive person I know. I love you, Rebecca.”
“I love you too.”
“I hope— I hope you still feel that way when I’m done telling you this.”
Again, Rebecca’s heart rate increased as she struggled not to let her insecurities get the better of her. What is it? This big thing? Surely this time was different. “Please, Dara. Just tell me why I’m not right for you.”
“What? Sweetheart, where does this stuff come from? This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. You’re perfect for me in every way.”
Rebecca wanted to believe what Dara said, but that part of her that still looked in the mirror and saw the overweight, awkward teenager nobody wanted to be around, wouldn’t fully accept that someone like Dara could want her.
Dara took a deep breath in. “The reason I got bullied by Renée and others was because I saw dead people. It’s the same reason I had so much trouble with my parents. Well, one of the reasons, anyway. They thought I was obstinate and crazy. So I just stopped talking about it. And I willed myself to be normal.” Dara sat back.
Rebecca could see that she was trembling. She went to her, knelt and put her hands on Dara’s knees. “They rejected you because you had a gift they couldn’t understand?”
Dara nodded.
“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry for that. It must have been so lonely for you.”
“Did you hear what I said?”
“You said you’re able to communicate with people from the other side. I heard you.”
“And that doesn’t bother you?”
“
My God, Dara. Why would that bother me? It’s a remarkable gift. It makes you all that much more special.”
“Why don’t you sound surprised?”
Rebecca laughed. “How could I read On the Wings of Angels, read Constance Darrow’s written comments to me about angels and ascended beings, and not recognize that the author had a deep and abiding understanding of metaphysics? I’m just sorry you found it so difficult to tell me.”
“I just thought… I was worried…”
“What, that I’d walk away if I knew? Oh, sweetheart, if you thought that you still have a lot to learn about me.”
“I hope I’ll have a lifetime to do research.”
“I’m counting on it.” Rebecca stood up and climbed into Dara’s lap. “I love you, Dara. All of you. Everything about you. Unless you’re secretly an ax murderer or you’re cheating on me, there isn’t anything you can do that would make me turn away.”
Dara wrapped Rebecca in her arms. “What was all that about you not being right for me and me wanting to walk away?”
“My own childhood scars rearing their ugly heads. Don’t worry about it.”
“Don’t worry about it? How can I not worry about the woman I love thinking she’s on shaky ground with me.”
“If I showed you childhood pictures—”
“Please tell me that you don’t think that appearances matter to me. After everything you’ve seen me go through, after all the objectification and underestimations, do you really think I’d be so shallow?”
“Well, I don’t look like that now.”
“Even if you gained every ounce of weight back that you lost, you’d still be you. It isn’t the window dressing with you, Rebecca.” Dara’s voice shook with emotion. “Yes, you’re a gorgeous woman. But I fell in love with who you are, not what you look like. So unless you’re planning to have a lobotomy, and maybe even then…”
Rebecca leaned in and kissed Dara. It wasn’t a passionate embrace, it was an acknowledgment that they’d crossed an important threshold in their relationship. After a minute, she pulled back.
“So, why was that woman at the premiere?” Her eyebrows drew together in consternation.
“Renée?”
“Yes.”
“It turns out the reason she was bullying me was because she was just like me. She figured if she was the loudest bully, no one would point fingers at her.”
