by Ellie Wade
“Agreed.” I fill a red Solo cup with a punch that’s in a large mixing bowl on the table. I take a sip. “It’s not bad,” I yell to Megan over the music. “Strong but not bad.”
“Mystery punch it is.” Megan fills up a cup of punch for herself.
We’re standing on the outskirts of the makeshift dance floor in the center of the living room when I hear my name.
“Ames!”
I turn right as Landon pulls me into a big hug, washing away all the nerves that were consuming me moments ago.
Someone from home.
Landon releases me from his bear hug. “What are you doing here?” he asks, his all-American boy smile taking over his face.
I hold up my red Solo cup. “My first college party, baby!”
“Dude, why didn’t you text me? I could’ve come and gotten you,” he runs a hand through his golden hair, the disheveled chunks fall perfectly into place as he drops his hand.
“I came with my roommate, Megan. Oh …” I shake my head. “Sorry, Megan. This is Landon, my friend from home. Landon, this is Megan, my new roommate.”
The two of them greet each other, and I don’t miss the way that Megan’s eyes widen when Landon smiles at her. She instantly becomes giggly, and I’m uncertain as to what’s so funny.
Reaching out, I touch her arm. “This is the friend I was telling you about who’s a junior this year.”
Even with my touch, Megan’s lost in Landon’s trance. It’s not the first time I’ve seen this reaction toward one of the Porter boys, and it definitely won’t be the last. Both Landon and his brother ooze charm, and they’re kind of beautiful … so girls are always getting all weird around them.
I continue, “Remember, his family and my family are best friends, I’ve known him since I was a baby, he’s like a brother.” I rattle out some more bullet points of our previous conversation in an attempt to garner some recollection from Megan.
Megan nods slowly. “Right … yeah.” Even with the loud music all around us, I can still hear the breathy quality to her voice. Her gaze doesn’t leave Landon. “So, do you live here, in this house?”
“No, one of my buddies does,” he answers her.
“Maybe his friend is the guy we know who lives here.” An amused smile finds my face as I kid with her.
To this comment, she laughs. “I wouldn’t know if he was.”
Landon turns his attention to me. “Come on. I’ll introduce you to some people.”
He presses his hand into the small of my back and leads us around the room, introducing us to all of his friends. I won’t remember any of them tomorrow, but they all seem nice enough.
When my face hurts from smiling through introductions, we stop off at the back table for a refill of the mystery punch.
“This stuff is good,” I tell Landon.
“That stuff is lethal. Be careful,” he warns me with a mischievous grin.
Megan squeals when one of her favorite songs comes on, and she drags us to the dance floor. She attempts to move against Landon, but he doesn’t take the bait. The fact that he doesn’t seem to notice her or care fills me with contentment.
A guy beside us has found interest in Megan, leaving Landon and me to dance across from one other without the awkwardness of Megan’s ass as she innocently pushed it toward Landon’s hip.
Landon smirks with a side-eye toward Megan, and then he rolls his eyes back in an exaggerated face that indicates relief. I’m not the only one happy that she’s moved on to dance with someone else.
“She’s nice.” He presses his lips in a line.
I laugh and press my hand against his chest. “You’re just too cute for your own good. It’s good to see your charm hasn’t been lost now that you’re away from home.”
“I’m cute?” He wiggles his eyebrows.
“Barely,” I scoff.
I finish up my drink and set my cup down on the windowsill.
I take a couple of deep breaths. I’m starting to feel pretty fuzzy in the head. I don’t want to be one of those cliché freshman girls who pukes at her first college party.
“What’s in the punch?” I ask Landon, putting my arms around his neck to help me keep balance.
“It’s called Jungle Juice. Basically, you pour all of the partial bottles of liquor from past parties together over a bunch of sliced fruit, add a splash of juice, and let it sit overnight. It tastes different every time, but it always consists of, like, ninety percent alcohol.”
I nod.
“Hey, I see Samantha. I’m going to go say hi,” Megan says.
“Okay,” I say as she scurries away. I should probably go say hi to Samantha, too. But I’m feeling too lazy.
“I’m so glad I ran into you here. It’s weird, being somewhere and not knowing anyone,” I tell him. “So different from home.”
He tightens his grasp on my hips as we continue to sway to the music. “Yeah, I remember feeling like that when I first came, too, but in a couple of weeks, you’ll know so many people that you’ll always have a bunch of friends at any party you go to.”
“Yeah? That’s good.”
“I almost didn’t recognize you when I first saw you tonight.” His voice has a deeper quality, one I’ve heard him use before but never with me.
I stare up into his eyes, the ones I know to be a stunning hazel, usually more brown than green, though currently, they swirl with color in time with the multicolored lights spinning in the corner of the room. Even with the alternating pinks, blues, and purples of the light, his stare is mesmerizing.
“Why?” I ask him.
His gaze drops to my lips before it makes its way back to my eyes. “I don’t know. You just look different. Older.”
“Oh, you mean, because of my slutty outfit.”
Landon throws his head back in laughter. “You don’t look slutty, Amy.”
“Yeah, right. I totally do, and you know what? I don’t even care. The Jungle Juice has made me not care. It’s my first college party, and I look like a hooker. So what?” I giggle, raising my arms above my head.
Landon runs his palms from my waist, to my sides, and then up my bare arms until his fingers wrap around mine. I think I’ve forgotten how to breathe as I stare at him, wide-eyed.
“You’re beautiful, Amy.” He guides our arms down until they’re at our sides. Releasing my fingers, he runs his palms across my back as we start to move to the music.
My body starts to sway of its own accord against his, relishing in his touch.
What’s happening?
Why am I feeling this way?
Internally, I’m frozen. I’m finding it hard to breathe or think. I realize I’m dancing with Landon … but not my Landon.
My Landon is my friend, my family, someone I’ve known since I was little. He’s funny and goofy. He makes me laugh one minute and drives me crazy the next. He’s the annoying older brother I’ve never had. Sure, he’s easy on the eyes. The Porter boys both are. My sister Lily has been obsessed with Landon’s younger brother, Jax, since they were babies. But Landon and I aren’t like that. We’re not connected in the way Jax and Lily are. Landon’s older than me, and though he’s always been in my life, we’ve never been inseparable. I’d do anything for him because I love him. We’re family.
Yet I don’t know this Landon. He’s gorgeous in a way I’ve never realized. He’s tall, firm, and strong.
My hands glide over his shirt, aching for more. The contact burns, yet I need more. The heat emitting from his skin beneath the fabric is hot, and though I shouldn’t, I want it—all of it.
In his arms, I’m overcome with the sensation of being needed, wanted, cherished, and safe. I don’t want Landon’s arms to release me into a space where I don’t feel all of those things. I want to stay here, dancing, wrapped in his embrace.
I want to blame it on the punch. But these sensations have nothing to do with the Jungle Juice. I’m seeing Landon in a way I’ve never seen him before. It’s utterly petrifying.
Landon’s gaze drops to my mouth.
“Amy,” he whispers.
His lips take mine.
I gasp into his mouth. My mind is reeling and having trouble keeping up, but my lips don’t need any instruction. They move purposely against Landon’s, wanting to feel and taste all that he has to offer. The kiss runs on lust and instinct.
As Landon’s tongue dances around mine, exploring my mouth with so much passion that my skin erupts in goose bumps, I begin to tremble.
Abruptly, he pulls away, and it takes me a second to get my bearings. I open my eyes to find Landon’s unsure gaze peering toward me. He seems nervous.
“I’m sorry,” he says, lifting a hand to cradle the back of his neck.
“It’s okay.”
My brain still hasn’t caught up.
Landon runs his hand through his hair and wraps his palm around of the nape of his neck. I find myself staring at the muscles of his arm, wondering if he’s always been this hot.
“I don’t know.” He shakes his head, dropping his hand. “I don’t know what came over me.”
I understand why Landon is torn. The two of us don’t make out … it isn’t us. That’s not the relationship we have or have ever wanted to have with each other. But, for some reason, none of that matters in this moment. I want to kiss Landon again, and I can tell that he wants to kiss me, too.
I press the palms of my hands to Landon’s cheeks and rise up onto my tiptoes, pulling his face toward mine. He lets me. My lips touch his lightly at first, slowly kissing him.
Landon lets out a deep groan and threads his hands through my hair. He pulls our faces together and deepens the kiss. I’ve never in my life been kissed like this, and I don’t want it to stop. Everything about it is perfection.
He pulls away, and I whimper.
“Do you want to get out of here?” he asks, his face a breath away from my own as his hands in my hair still hold us close.
I can only nod.
“Tell your roommate, so she doesn’t worry.” He releases his hold on me, but my body doesn’t want to move.
I nod again but continue to stand across from him. He just showed me what a real kiss should feel like, and my body is in shock.
He chuckles and plants a quick peck on my lips. “Go tell her, and we’ll leave.”
I find Megan and tell her that I’m going to hang out with Landon. She assures me that she’ll walk back to the dorms with Samantha and won’t be alone. I say a quick good-bye to Samantha and weave my way through the crowded house back to Landon.
He smiles and takes my hand in his.
I walk out of my first college house party, hand in hand with my lifelong friend. It’s my first big night out as a college student, and the only thing I want to do is get lost in the one piece of home here.
I look down to our entwined fingers and then up to Landon, and my heart pounds forcefully in my chest. He’s so beautiful. He turns to look at me and smiles, and my insides melt.
“We’re almost there,” he says in the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard.
How did I have Landon for nineteen years of my life, and yet I’m just truly seeing him for the first time tonight? One thing’s for certain; now that I’ve seen him, I can never go back.
Amy
The home that Landon shares with his friend is only a block away from the house party. I barely remember the walk, too busy floating on a cloud of lust and anticipation.
It’s dark and quiet when we enter. I’m assuming his roommate is at the party we just left.
Landon clears his throat. “Can I get you anything? Are you thirsty?” He rubs his hand down his jean-clad thigh.
I don’t want him to be nervous. I don’t want him to be thinking about what he should or shouldn’t do. I want him to do what he wants, which is completely in line with what I want.
“Where’s your bedroom?” I reply to his question with one of my own.
His chest rises as he takes in a breath. “Are you sure, Amy? We don’t have to. You don’t have to.”
“I know I don’t have to. God, I want to. Don’t you?” I take a step toward him. Splaying my hands on his abdomen, I feel the muscles beneath his shirt.
He doesn’t reply, but his answer is clear. He crashes his mouth against mine, kissing me hard. He lifts me, tightly wrapping his arms around my back as I circle my legs around his waist. His lips never leave mine as he carries me toward the back of the house to what I can assume is his bedroom.
The bedroom door closes behind us, and Landon pushes me against the wall, my legs still around his waist, and he kisses me deeper. A million thoughts are trying to penetrate my mind. I’m vaguely aware of them—the questions, the doubts, the voice of reason. They’re muffled, as if buried under a vast sea. Landon is the turbulent ocean pressing against me, demanding all of my attention, and I gladly give it to him.
I’m diving straight in.
Landon carries me to his bed and lays me down, his lips continuing their dance with my own.
It’s a matter of seconds before our clothes are thrown to the floor. I should feel nervous or scared, but I don’t. It feels right, so right that I can’t believe we’ve never been in this position before.
Landon’s hands rest beside my shoulders as he props himself up above me. My eyes roam over him, stealing hungry glances of all the parts I’ve never had access to see. In turn, I can feel his heated gaze taking me in. My skin pebbles in anticipation.
“You’re so beautiful, Amy. So fucking beautiful,” he whispers before his mouth falls to mine. It only stays a moment before he begins to make his way down my body, kissing every inch.
The space surrounding us is bursting with breaths of want.
Moans of desire.
Cries of pleasure.
When we come together, it’s everything—so much more than I knew to imagine. And, when we fall, it’s carnal satisfaction that wrecks me in the most delicious way imaginable.
Who knew?
Who freaking knew it could be like this?
Landon falls beside me. His heavy breaths in time with my own. My heart beats wildly in my chest as the goose bumps that cover my entire body slowly begin to retreat.
My mind wanders to my past experiences—my first time with Everett, whom I had sex with just the once, and my rebound sex with my friend James after I realized Everett was an asshole. Those encounters weren’t in the same universe as what just happened with Landon.
“That was …” I start to say now that I’ve caught my breath.
“Amazing,” Landon finishes my thought.
“It was,” I agree. “Landon?”
“Yeah?”
“I want to do that again.”
He laughs and grabs my hand, threading his fingers through mine. “Me, too. Just give me a few minutes.”
I try to fight it, but my stubborn brain insists on consciousness. My tired body protests the day and refuses to move as I lie facedown in bed, my arms sprawled out to my sides. Simultaneously, two revelations hit me. First, I’m completely naked. Second—and probably, most notably—I’m not alone.
I startle when Landon’s hand finds the small of my back, rubbing gently.
“Morning, Ames.”
Memories of last night come flooding back in vivid color—the party, Jungle Juice, Landon, and loads of sex. Amazing, toe-curling sex … with my lifelong friend.
The confident temptress of last night has been replaced by a naked girl, frozen in place, too scared to move.
I don’t know how one is supposed to act after a night like that. What did it mean? What do I do? My mind is frantically racing in search of answers.
“Are you okay?”
His question sets me at ease. It isn’t the voice of the hot guy who made me orgasm for the first time ever and more times than I’d thought possible. It’s the calm sound of Landon, the person I’ve known forever.
I roll over toward him, pulling the blanket over me. “Hey,” I greet him, taking
him in.
He’s captivating, lying beside me, and my head hurts from dehydration or the simple fact that I’ve never been more confused in my entire life.
“Are you okay?” he asks again.
I nod and smile weakly.
Landon is beautiful in the morning light. I’ve seen him a million times in my life, and yet I feel like this is the first time I’m truly seeing him. I’ve always thought his hazel eyes had more of a brown hue, but right now, they sparkle with threads of green and gold. His strong jaw is accented with a short scruff that is doing something crazy to my insides. When my eyes fall to his full lips and I recall the memories of the way they worshipped my body, I shiver.
A thousand glances, conversations, laughs, smiles, and touches over the past nineteen years. And yet, none of those things passed with the knowledge that Landon Porter is the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen.
He was there all along.
“I’m good,” I reassure him, though I’m unsure if that’s true.
“Good.” He grins. “You hungry?”
The thought of food makes my tummy rumble loudly.
“Me, too.” He chuckles. “I’m starving.”
He jumps out of bed, and I gawk as I take in his toned ass.
I need to snap out of this.
“I’m taking you to this diner on campus that’s unbelievable. It serves the best breakfast on campus—perfect hangover food. The waffles”—his eyes roll back and he shakes his head—“so damn good.”
I pull the blanket tight around me as I watch him pick up the condom wrappers on the ground and toss them in the garbage. He retrieves the piece of fabric that masqueraded as a top and hands it to me. I look at it in horror.
“Do you want to wear something of mine?” he asks with a grin.
“Uh, yes … please.”
He rifles through his dresser before tossing me a T-shirt and a pair of track shorts. “I think these are the smallest things I own. You’ll still be swimming in them.”
“It’s better than the alternative,” I say, tossing the offensive items of clothing to the side with a grimace.
Landon disappears through a door on the other side of the room. A second later, he comes out with a toothbrush in his mouth.
