“Which means,” Devon picked up the barely eaten tuna sandwich and replaced it with the last piece of bread, folded in half and filled with peanut butter and jelly, “I should probably eat this.”
He took a huge bite of the tuna and Mike beamed up at him. “That’s my sandwich!”
“Not anymore.” Crumbs flew from Devon’s mouth and he nodded to the plate. “That’s yours now.”
Mike rolled his eyes, but his smile grew wider, then he picked up the peanut butter sandwich and started eating.
It was gone in less than thirty seconds, and so was Devon’s third tuna sandwich.
“Better?” he asked the little boy once he’d swallowed his last bite.
“Better,” Mike replied.
“Good.” Devon stood, picking up the plate. “And next time, don’t be afraid to tell us you don’t like something. One day, we won’t have that luxury, but for now, we do. Now, you better hurry if you want to hear that story.”
“Okay,” Mike said as he got to his feet.
He paused after taking one step away from the table, staring at Devon. His back was to Mike, so he didn’t see it when the little boy’s head tilted. Didn’t get to witness the appreciation shining in the child’s eyes. But I did, and it made my heart swell.
“Thanks, Devon,” Mike said.
Devon turned and gave the boy a huge smile. “Anytime, kid.”
Mike beamed before heading off, and I watched him go.
Once he’d disappeared from sight, I turned back to face Devon. “You’re a natural.”
“At making sandwiches?” he asked, the grin still on his face.
“Exactly,” I replied.
He chuckled, and when he reached out, I knew he was going to pull me to him. He did, but he didn’t kiss me. He didn’t even keep his hands on my hips. It was like he just wanted me close.
“You going to stick with me tomorrow when we go out?” he asked.
“If I have to,” I said.
Devon’s smile didn’t fade, but his expression did grow serious. “You have to.”
“Then I will.” I stared up at him like he’d caught me in some kind of trance. It wasn’t too late, but I hadn’t lied to Randall. I was tired and more than ready for bed. “Where are you going to sleep?”
“Why?” Devon’s dimple deepened. “Do you need company?”
Goose bumps popped up on my skin when he ran his fingers down my arm, and a shiver of pleasure shot through me. It was tempting. So tempting that I had to bite down on my lower lip to stop from telling him I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather keep me company. But it wasn’t a good idea. We were both exhausted, and if he was in bed with me, I doubted either one of us would get much rest.
“I think,” I said, having to speak slowly so I didn’t blurt out the words I really wanted to say, “you should get some rest so you’re fresh tomorrow.”
Again, his smile didn’t fade, but disappointment did flash in his eyes. “Probably.”
“We both should.”
“You’re right.” He didn’t sound convinced, but he did take a step away from me. “I’ll crash on the couch.”
“Promise?”
His grin stretched wider, looking more sincere. “I promise.”
“Good.” It was my turn to take a step back. “See you in the morning?”
“In the morning,” he said.
My gaze held his for a few seconds longer before I turned and headed for the stairs. I didn’t look back, but I knew he was watching me because I could feel his gaze burning into me like a branding iron, and I loved it.
Sleep eluded me throughout the night. The house was too quiet, the room too dark. Never before had I seen such blackness, because before there had always been little dots of light throughout the room. Now, though, there was nothing, and it was more than a little unnerving.
As the night wore on and I tossed and turned, trying and failing to grab hold of sleep, I couldn’t help wishing I wasn’t alone. Kiaya needed to be with her sister right now, and I got it, but it would have been nice if Lisa was with me instead of downstairs on the couch.
Or even Devon…
Groaning, I rolled over and pulled the pillow over my head.
Thinking about Devon wasn’t going to help my brain shut off, not after today in the basement. When he’d had his arms wrapped around me, it had been impossible not to think about the kisses we’d shared, and it was all so stupid. There were so many other things to occupy my mind, and all of them were a million times more important than an ill-timed romance. I had to get that guy out of my system. Although I had no idea how to go about doing that, especially considering we were pretty much trapped under the same roof for the foreseeable future.
Even when I managed to grab a little bit of sleep, it wasn’t restful, because my dreams were full of zombies and the hot days traveling Route 66. Sometimes I was walking through an empty town while the sun beat down on me, while other times, I was watching the world whirl by from the passenger seat of a car. Kiaya seemed to always be there, but she wasn’t alone. My mom popped up in one dream, smiling at me from behind the wheel while we drove past a horde of the undead. Other times, it was Devon in the driver’s seat, and in one strange version of my travels, my ex-boyfriend Doug was the one who appeared at my side.
When I finally opened my eyes to find that the bedroom had grown lighter, I felt as if I’d barely slept. Not a great day to be dragging.
“If only we could make coffee,” I mumbled to the empty room.
Since that wasn’t possible and I typically didn’t eat breakfast, I didn’t bother heading downstairs when I dragged myself out of bed.
“Time to get ready to head out to the slaughter,” I said, once again speaking out loud.
Maybe I was starting to lose my mind. I felt like it.
I used the gallon jug of water in my attached bathroom to clean myself up and brush my teeth. Washing my hair was impossible, but I put my dry shampoo to good use. Days of using it was starting to show, but since there wasn’t much I could do about it, I did my best not to think about how dirty my hair was as I brushed it out.
Once I was cleaned up, I sifted through the few items in my closet that had survived the purge from the day before, selecting clothes that would keep me safe but barely registering what I was doing. I’d just pulled my pants on when my gaze landed on the note my mom had left me. It was sitting on my nightstand face up, and like the first time I saw it, the word goodbye jumped out at me.
I dropped onto the bed like all the air had been knocked out of me, my gaze on the paper. My mind on my mom.
She was outside. A zombie.
It was something that had been nagging at me since our trip to the Mercers’ house, and I thought about it as I turned Kiaya’s words over in my head.
You put her out of her misery. Wouldn’t you want someone to do that for you if the situation were reversed?
Yes, I would, and I wanted to do the same for my mom. Thinking about what that meant made me almost physically sick, but I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I couldn’t leave her like that. I had no clue what to do about it, but it had to happen. Somehow, I had to put her out of her misery.
A light knock on the door jolted me from my thoughts, and I jumped to my feet like I was about to be caught doing something wrong.
“Come in,” I called as I swiped my jacket up off the bed.
Hinges creaked, and the door swung open to reveal Devon, who smiled and leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. The stance should have looked casual, but the worry shimmering in his blue eyes pushed any illusion of nonchalance away. I wasn’t sure if his concern was about what had happened yesterday, or what was about to happen today.
“You getting ready to head out?”
I nodded, fighting to keep my voice even. “Yup.”
The pit that had formed in my stomach when I’d thought about my mom grew, and I couldn’t hide the trembling in my hands as I slid my jacket on.
&
nbsp; Devon had to have seen it, but for some reason his expression relaxed even more, and a genuine smile pulled up his lips. “Pink?”
I looked down, taking in my pink faux-leather jacket like I’d never seen it before even though it was my favorite. I should have known he would tease me about it. He’d had a great time poking fun at my pink suitcase while we were on the road.
“You have a problem with my jacket?” I asked, lifting my eyebrows in a silent challenge.
He pushed himself off the doorframe and headed my way, still smirking, and I could feel my feathers getting ruffled. I also silently acknowledged that my annoyance was a much better feeling than the despair I’d been drowning in when he knocked on my door. That was one good thing about Devon. He may have been able to get under my skin faster than anyone I’d ever met, but at least it seemed to always happen at the perfect moment. Like now.
He stopped in front of me and tugged on the hem of my jacket. It had a slightly metallic sheen to it and wasn’t exactly warm, but I figured the leather-like material would do a good job of protecting me from sharp teeth. Plus, I liked the thing.
He lifted his eyebrows. “You hoping to impress someone out there?”
“You never know who you’re going to bump into,” I said, batting my eyelashes. “I mean, just because it’s the zombie apocalypse doesn’t mean I can’t look good.”
His grin widened. “You know you always look good, right?”
Heat spread to my cheeks, and I felt suddenly tongue-tied. Unable to even think of a response, let alone utter a word.
“You always look good, too, Devon,” he said in a mockingly high-pitched voice.
I snorted out a laugh. “Nerd.”
The dimple in his right cheek deepened. “Why, thanks for the compliment, Rowan,” he said, using his normal voice this time. “I mean, I knew you found me irresistible, but it’s nice to hear you say it.”
I laughed again, this time giving him a little shove, but he caught my wrist and pulled me closer.
His smile didn’t disappear, but his expression did grow more serious when he said, “Promise you’ll be careful while we’re out there and that you’ll listen to me.”
“Don’t worry,” I said, slightly breathless from both his nearness and his concern. I needed to lighten the mood because with as fast as my heart was hammering, I thought it might be on the verge of exploding. “I have no intention of ruining this jacket.”
His smile widened as he reached up and cupped the side of my face. His thumb traced my cheek, and I leaned into his palm. It was rough against my soft skin, and so inviting I didn’t want him to let me go. I wanted to stay in this moment and soak in the expression in his eyes. To wrap myself in it.
After a second, he let out a breath and released me, then he stepped back. “I just came up to check on you. Everyone else is already downstairs. We should join them.”
His words sucked the lightness from the room, and I had to swallow before I could respond. Even then, it was only one word. “Okay.”
For a couple seconds longer, he stared at me, and even though my gears had shifted a little, he was too close for my body to have settled down just yet. I held my breath, waiting to see if he would kiss me again, not knowing if I wanted him to. No, that was a lie. I wanted him. Every thud of my heart told me that. I just wasn’t sure if it was smart or even right to allow myself to get swept into this crazy attraction in the middle of everything. Plus, we barely knew one another, and if this thing between us—whatever it was—imploded, it would make things pretty miserable for everyone.
Finally, he dropped his hand to his side and nodded then turned away.
Disappointment squeezed my insides, but I followed him without asking what he was thinking. Probably, he was being cautious and possibly even entertaining all the same doubts I was.
Just like Devon had said, everyone was gathered in the living room when we made it downstairs. Buck apparently wasn’t the only one who’d raided the closets yesterday, and the sight of Lisa in my mom’s favorite denim jacket made me stop in my tracks only two steps into the room. The thing had been around pretty much as long as I could remember, and even during the times when it would temporarily go out of style, my mom had refused to get rid of it.
These things always come back, she would say with a knowing smile.
She’d been right. I’d owned and discarded several denim jackets in my twenty years. Some because I’d gotten older and grown out of them, but more than once I remembered throwing one out because it wasn’t something I wanted to wear anymore.
Seeing me staring, Lisa tugged at the sleeve of the jacket. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah.” I forced myself to walk farther into the room. “It’s perfect, actually. She would love knowing it’s going to help someone stay safe.”
Lisa gave me a sad smile, but it was clear she didn’t know what to say in response. I had a feeling that was going to be a common theme for a long time to come.
Miller had wrangled up another uniform shirt, so he was set, but the expression on his face when he looked me over said he wasn’t happy. Again.
“What the hell are you wearing?”
He’d been overly nice to me since the moment we met—probably hoping I’d eventually spread my legs in gratitude—and I was taken aback by this brusque tone.
“Excuse me?”
Miller nodded to my jacket. “It’s a little impractical, isn’t it? I mean, this isn’t a goddamn fashion show.”
My back stiffened, and Devon looked my way, his eyebrows raised, but for once his smirk wasn’t teasing, and I could easily read what he was thinking. Miller was a stupid ass.
“It’s for protection. It isn’t like I have to blend in.” I waved to his camouflage. “The zombies don’t hunt by sight.”
“You better hope not,” he grumbled.
Again, Devon snorted. “They go after sound. We’ve already seen that.”
“And maybe smell?” Lisa looked around the room as if hoping for confirmation.
“That’s a possibility,” Buck said, nodding thoughtfully. “Not sure how we’d prove it, though.”
He already had a glass next to him on the counter. Shit.
“Either way,” Kiaya said from where she was sitting on the couch, “Rowan is fine in that jacket. The main thing we need to do right now is make sure we’re protected when we go out.”
Zara sat at her side, and she shifted closer to her sister after the last sentence.
Putting aside the fact that her younger sister seemed to be clinging to her for dear life, Kiaya seemed ready to go. She was wearing the same brown jacket she’d taken when we left Phoenix only a few days ago, and her hair was pulled up into its usual high ponytail. The sight of it brought my own hair to mind. It was long, past the middle of my back, and loose at the moment. Not a great idea, considering what we might run into. Not only would it get in the way, it would also be way too easy for a zombie to get a handful of it.
I reached back and ran my fingers through my hair, separating the tendrils so I could work them into a braid. “We’re all ready?”
As if the action reminded her that she needed to do the same, Lisa began working on her own hair, only she twisted the brown locks into a small knot at the base of her neck.
“As ready as we can be, I think,” she said as she wrapped a hair tie around the bun.
Devon looked around the room. “Everyone armed?”
He had the M16 we’d found at one of the abandoned checkpoints slung over his shoulder, and Miller eyed it with jealousy as the others nodded. My own weapon, a 9mm we’d liberated from a car in Vega, was tucked in the waistband of my pants. The weight of it, along with the cold metal pressing against my skin, made me feel only slightly better about what we were about to face. The truth was, the weapon gave me a false sense of security. For one, despite the quick shooting lesson we’d gotten after leaving Shamrock, I wasn’t at all confident I’d be able to hit anything. Not only that, but there was the
real and terrifying truth that one gunshot could set off a chain of events that could get out of hand fast.
“I’d feel a hell of a lot better if we had more good knives,” Devon muttered as if reading my thoughts. He focused on me. “Do you know if any of your nearby neighbors hunted?”
I blinked, wondering in what reality he thought I ever would have noticed something like that. “You mean like for deer?”
Devon sighed. “Yes.”
“I don’t have a clue.”
He nodded like he’d been expecting the answer, and like a million times since the dead had come back, I felt the uselessness of everything I’d thought was so important before all this. Getting my nails done, making sure I maintained the proper balance of highlights and lowlights throughout the winter months. Shopping. It all seemed so incredibly stupid now. But really, how was I supposed to have known things would change so drastically and so fast?
Kiaya extracted herself from Zara’s grasp so she could stand, and the younger girl jumped up as well. They were like clones of one another despite the three years separating them, except her wide-eyed expression didn’t match the calm that always seemed to surround Kiaya.
“You’re leaving?” Zara asked, a hint of pleading in her tone.
“We talked about this,” Kiaya said calmly. “I need you to stay here with the kids.” Almost as an afterthought she added, “And Randall,”
Zara nodded, but she was twisting her hands together.
“It will be fine.” Mike pushed his way past Kiaya and took one of Zara’s trembling hands in his. “We’ll be here together.”
The expression in his eyes made him seem ten years older.
Zara must have seen it too, because she let out a deep breath. “Okay.”
Lexi was watching from the breakfast table in the kitchen. The puzzle was gone this morning, replaced by a coloring book and the comic Hank had been reading the day before. Lexi had frozen in the middle of coloring so she could watch us, while beside her, Randall sat leafing through the comic like nothing was happening. Hank, unsurprisingly, was sitting in the living room with us, shamelessly keeping close to Zara. Too bad she was too focused on her sister to notice.
Far Series | Book 2 | Far From Safe Page 12
