“Fairy, you’re shaking. You need to stop and take a minute. I’ll ring down to the kitchen and have them bring you up some water and brandy to help settle your nerves. OK baby?”
I nod at this point because I feel so empty yet full at the same time. Like a stack of blank sheets of paper in a briefcase being carried around and having no purpose. I didn’t realize how much I was faking my way through life until now.
If this is how it affects me, then how the hell will the impact be on my sisters if they ever decide to open up and trust someone? Little Phoenix worries me the most of all my sisters.
Ren picks me up and carries me over to the bed and lay me down very gently. I am surprised how the act brings tears to my eyes. He lies down beside me and begins caressing my back and head. He whispers he loves me and how happy he is I am back and safe. I am so confused. I want so badly to believe everything he says, but I have doubts. Instead I will take this moment and time to bask in the now. Who knows what will happen tomorrow once the doors are open.
“Are you ready for a little food and something to drink baby?” I nod my head.
I vaguely remember him calling to the kitchen. To be honest, I couldn’t tell you what I was wearing let alone what he did. Either I fell asleep or completely checked out because Ren had such a worried look on his face. As he is rubbing a cold washcloth over my forehead, he looks as if he is trying to examine my mind as well as my body.
“Fairy, you scared me. How do you feel?”
“What happened?”
“One moment you were awake, staring off in space and the next you weren’t. Your breathing became shallow. The only thing that stopped me from calling the doctor was the moaning noises showing me you were alive, just fretful.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened either.”
“It is ok Mia Amore. Let’s try to eat. I had Nadine deliver soup for you. As upset as you have been, I didn’t want to overwhelm your body with heavy food. Just eat this and drink the tea.”
He sat next to me while I ate, watching closely to make sure I wasn’t going to disappear. He insisted I finish the bowl of soup as well as the glass of tea before he would take the tray away. We sat there afterwards staring at each other. Scared one or the other would say something wrong ending this beautiful dream. Moving to lay my head on his chest I feel contentment wash over me.
Not knowing how long I lay across his chest with him stroking me, I eventually get up and brush my lips across his. Feeling his response to my kiss, I take that as encouragement to continue. I want this dark feeling to go away and I know he can make that happen. Swinging my leg over his body I straddle him while rubbing myself back and forth over his body. I’m secretly hoping he will give into what we both want and need, and slides himself inside of me. Unfortunately, he does the exact opposite disappointing me.
“Baby stop. This is not what you need right now. You are feeling vulnerable and scared with freshly cut and open wounds. This won’t help right now. I want nothing more than to be inside you, making love to you as we become one once again. I will not take advantage of your mental state. I think you need to finish and then we can get it all cleaned away. Got me babe? ”
I love that he knows what I need, even when I am not sure myself. He has always been like that, even when I didn’t realize he was doing it. That was one of things that made me fall in love with him. His ability to take care of me without seeming overbearing and repressive like my dad.
OK Fae. I am saying to myself. Let’s finish this and hopefully move on.
REN
I feel like such a fucking asshole. All these years I have been focused on my own pain. I didn’t stop to consider perhaps she was running from her own. When I first met her, it was obvious that she was not from NY. The way she was dressed, her meek demeanor and how innocent she looked. There was no way she was from this rough, seedy and aggressive place.
I wasn’t sure if she was a runaway. I only knew from the moment I saw her, I had this overwhelming need to protect her. My brain kept repeating one thing over and over. MINE. MINE. I have never felt this pull toward anyone before. I usually like women experienced, mature and compliant.
She was an anomaly. I knew when this possessive feeling took over, she was meant to be mine. Throughout our year together she would have bouts of sadness. Being the selfish ass I am, I would just buy her something or take her somewhere to make her smile. I would do anything to make her smile and move on from her melancholy.
If I would have asked more questions or paid attention, she wouldn’t have felt the need to run and the three of us wouldn’t have lost so much time. Knowing all she went through and carried by herself, makes my heart ache for my brave girl. It also makes me fucking pissed.
When we finally emerge from this room, I am going to put my men on finding her father. The fact that my Fae has been living her life in fear, makes me want to blow my top like a volcano. My job as her partner is to slay her demons. I have been remiss in those duties due to my own arrogance. That stops now. She will no longer be looking over her shoulder. I will find him and he will pay.
Letting out a deep breath, I know it’s time to finish my confession that led me to Ren. I move back to the chair, steel my spine, and spit it out as fast as I can. I just want it to be over now.
“ED spent a good fifteen minutes trying to get me to say the magazine was mine and where I got it from. I honestly didn’t know where it came from. Looking into his face and the attitude he was displaying, worried me a great deal. He kept saying over and over, ‘just tell me where you got it from because I know you haven’t been outside these walls. Tell me who gave it to you and I will go easy on you.’ I just kept saying, ‘I don’t know daddy. I just found it”.
“Ok, if it’s not yours then it belongs to one of your younger sisters. Kea, Que and Phe, which one of you was it?”
“At this point I’m feeling guilty. I should have confessed and spared everyone. I didn’t know where it came from and I couldn’t think of an explanation quick enough to circumvent him. In unison my sisters proclaimed their innocence, but he wouldn’t listen. I have seen him mad before but he wasn’t just mad, he was beyond angry. He was completely livid. Fuming over what he perceived as our disobedience. The man acted like he was possessed. He started talking about the devil. The people on the outside are evil. He continued on and I couldn’t follow what he was saying. All of a sudden he stopped.”
“The quiet after he stopped was so eerie that I started getting goosebumps on my arms and feeling jittery. You know when you in a situation where you know something is going to happen, not how, but you know it will. That is what I was feeling and it turned out I was right.”
“He got an ominous look in his eyes. A storm brewing, but this one has a target in mind. Out of nowhere, he slapped Kea and not a light slap meant to garner the victim’s attention. A slap hard enough, the sound bounces off the walls and gets everyone in the room attention.”
Crying and hiccupping so much at this point of the story, I feel the need to walk around before I seriously start to rip my hair out. Tears though cathartic, are helping me remember that moment and it’s making me jumpy.
“He slapped her so hard, her neck snapped back and she fell hitting her head. I started screaming and running to her thinking she was dead. She wasn’t moving. I kept saying “please wake up, I’m sorry. Please wake up I’m sorry. I will protect you next time. Looking up, I saw Que and Phe huddled in the corner. Was he going down the line or was his assault over. I heard her exhale, but she didn’t open her eyes. I looked up and for the first time in my sixteen years, I could see the real monster in our compound.”
“His face was distorted and disheveled. Black and soulless eyes instead of beautiful, full of color and life. I felt real physical fear. He stepped closer to us and said “Next time all of you will think twice before defying me. Your brothers are no longer here to protect you. It is my job to make sure you’re ready to do your duty for this fami
ly and the reason you were even born. As each of you turn seventeen you will be married to one of my trusted men. You will serve him as your mothers have served me. You will not shame me. This is your life. To be obedient and submissive to your husband. My job is to make sure you are ready and to know what is expected of you. Women are not good for anything else.”
“My seventeenth birthday would be the following year. With realization of what he was saying, I hear Alto whisper in my ear ‘you sweet Fae, will be mine and then I have plans for you. It will be fun breaking you in. All that fire waiting to be extinguished.”
“I knew I had to move sooner rather than later. We needed help and I had to go get it for us. I couldn’t get the police because ED would kill my sisters before the law ever breached the first gate. No. It had to be my brothers. I wanted to tell my sisters what I had planned, but I felt they would be safer not knowing. I didn’t want them to think I abandoned them, but I also couldn’t risk them telling out of fear.”
“I gathered as much clothing as I could and the money I stashed from the letters my brothers sent. Each letter we received I managed to hide the bills from everyone. I had maybe enough to get where I needed to go. No matter what, I knew I had to try. “That night, I waited until the guard changeover. It is the only time the floodlights don’t move around the perimeter.”
“I crawled along the wall and hid behind the guard post cave. Waiting for the changeover, I continued over the hill that led to this massive grey stonewall. I had 30 seconds to scale the old oak tree, to the top of the wall and then jump before the next guard took over.”
“I wasn’t prepared for the impact of a jump that high. The wind was knocked out of me. I knew I didn’t have time to lie there and catch my breath. Forcing myself to get up, I ran for the road and didn’t stop running for fifteen minutes. Eventually, I found a tree to sleep under with grass growing around it to keep me hidden. Being flat on my back, I would not be seen unless someone walked on top of me.”
“Eventually I made it to the bus stop and the rest is history.”
Ren turns my head and looks at me. “My brave fairy, you had to deal with so much. Taking all the burden. I am so proud of you, my love. But this does not explain why you didn’t come to me and why you ran.”
“Ren, when I found out I was pregnant, it was the second happiest moment in my life but also the scariest. I was only sixteen and pregnant. I knew I was with the love of my life and would finally have a family of my own. After Tony was born I had these overwhelming feelings of dread, fear and guilt.”
“Dread, because I knew one day I would have to face my father. With that realization came the fear. Fear of how he would choose to hurt you and our baby, who are my very life.”
“I knew he had to be looking for me and would never let me go. I needed to protect the two of you. I could only do that by leaving. I needed to go to my sisters and protect them. Combine that with the guilt I felt about having abandoned my sisters. My only option was to run.”
“Leaving in the morning is the best choice. I know he is having me followed, which means he would know I am here. He might not know what the two of you mean to me, but if I stay any longer he will.
Ren’s body became tense and his eyes darken as his breath becomes more and more rapid. I know that look. My body begins to respond to his primal need, making me shiver with pure arousal. I need this man to ravish my body, licking and kissing every inch, worshiping me. The necessity for this man to dominate and take what he wants, cools the desire to fight against him. Forcing my body to stay and surrender gives everything to him.
He begins a slow descent down my body. Licking and kissing the creamy flesh that is exposed as if I was an ice cream cone that is melting. As he continues his assault in the most delicious, erotic ways, he nips lightly every area he touches. The tiny marks he leaves are to show I belong to him. No one else should try and take me or they will have him to deal with. Although it could be true for ED. He is still out there, but I know it is not him that he is thinking of.
Before, I was covered in bite marks every time I had to leave the house. At first it horrified me not knowing what people would think. Then I got used to having the marks and what they meant. I stopped fighting and began to enjoy receiving them and wore them with pride, as a badge of honor.
Oh God. That damn spot under my knee. Who knew that under your knee could be a source of pleasure. I mean seriously, it’s a knee, but fuck if Ren doesn’t know how to make it so much more. I’m so fucking worked up right now. All it takes is the right tweak in one direction and I will explode. He hasn’t even touched my sugar well yet.
“My sweet, sweet peach.”
“Mmm Ren please. Please. Please.” I have no idea what it is I am rubbing myself on but I know I have to get some friction to end this torture. Who could survive under these circumstances?
His nose brushes against my nub as he blows on my vajayjay and I’m whimpering. No words. There are no words for the sensations running through me. I just grab his head as he has all the control and I move where I need in hopes he will have some mercy on me.
“Yesssss.” I yell at the top of my lungs. Twitching and panting in my condition. Fuck, that first flick of his tongue and I fall over the cliff I was so precariously holding onto. I want to thank him by kissing and doing anything he asks, but I can’t even see in front of me right now.
Have you ever had an orgasm so amazing and yummy that your toes curl? Your stomach spasms and you see spots; making you feel like you’re floating in outer space? Yeah. THAT.FUCKING.GOOD!
“Come back baby, let me see your eyes. Come Dea. Float down so I can remind you.” It’s not until he thrusts into me, I realize he switched position. Poised to invade. Yes. Invade. Ren does not simply fill or stretch me. He invades my body, senses, and mind until I don’t know if I am a whole person. I vote half, but what the hell do I know besides feeling one with him. Feeling of having his body complete mine and join in euphoria. The epicenter is our love. I don’t. I don’t know anything other than that.
“Ahhh, Ren.” I grunt out. Actually, in all fairness I don’t know if it was a grunt or a growl. I just know I had to let him know I knew he was there.
“Yes. Ren it’s too much. I can’t take it. Oh God it’s too much Ren. Don’t stop. Please don’t ever stop. I love you. I love you so much. I’m so sorry. “
He hasn’t even begun to move. Yet already I feel like I’m on the edge of a cliff waiting to tumble over. He feels like sin and heaven wrapped in this perfect package. I release myself into the cosmos and go where the feeling takes me.
“Your greedy little cunt is a fucking juicer, baby. It appears you’re ready for me. Now I can start. You feel me Fae? Can you feel me pushing against your secret place? Can you handle me there baby? What the fuck am I saying, of course you can. You don’t have a motherfucking choice.”
In sync with the word ‘choice’, he pushes in through my cervix and all I see is darkness.
But holy shitballs, it hurts in a good way.
When I feel him kissing and whispering words of love and praise, I know I don’t want to wake up. I stir because he coaxes me up in-between thrusting in and out. “You back bellisima? I nod my head. “Bene. I wrap my arms and legs around him to meet his thrusts. I impale myself on him trying to get as much of him into me as possible. I don’t want to see my own skin without having his attached to me until this over. Fuck if this man can’t undo me.
“Ren, please. Faster. Harder Ren. I need.”
“I know what you need Mia Vita, but I am in control. Take. What. I. Give. You.” Each word emphasized by a thrust and slight roar.
“Or did you forget?”
“Fuck it, Fae. You know what to do.” Gearing myself up to drive him crazy, I squeeze my vajayjay so hard I think I’m trying to break his schlong off. “Argghh. Unlock your fucking pussy Fae. Fuck. Shit. Let go damn it. Oh shit. Your fucking pussy has always been my kryptonite. Fuck baby. I’m trying to hold on, you
little minx, but you know exactly what to do.” I grab his ass and start fucking myself on him making sure he stays deep inside me, racing toward the light.
“Shh, shh. I know baby, its ok. Let me love you now. Ok. Will you let me love you and remind you? Hush precious.” I think I nod my head, but who the hell knows. I had a burning fever of need that took over my body.
Looking into my eyes as he makes love slowly, tears start down my face from the beautiful music we are making together. It is a soundtrack of our time together and apart. My lady part is so happy I can feel the arousal running down my leg. She is lost in having his man meat fill her and keeping a steady pace of contracting and releasing. Oh God, I’m almost there. I know what I need to finally go over, but staring into his beautiful eyes there is a look of awe and a plea to surrender and give him this. He must have found the decision in my eyes. He smiles and gives me the sweetest kiss we have ever shared.
Sweeping his tongue over my lip and gently biting the bottom before he pulls it into his mouth. I gasp at the feeling. It sends a zing through my central nervous system straight into the lady cave. Holy fuck can this man kiss. We do a mating dance with our mouths that takes my breath away.
“Come Fae, I want you to remember what and who you are. Re. Fucking. Member, FaeWren.”
His thrusts are desperate and feral. He is chasing something and I happen to be holding the object in my hands. Hmmm. Maybe I am. I want him to remind me. Remind me who I am and what I am to him. I need him to be so far inside of me that I can’t piss him out.
“Ouch. Fuck Ren. You’re too deep. Uggh. Oh God. Shit. Ren, it hurts but don’t stop.”
“Don’t worry baby. I’m not stopping. I went into your cervix to plant my life juices inside you Fairy. We are going to give Tony a little sister and a whole shitload of little brothers. But first, CUM Fata. Cum with me. Ahhh…”
A Birds of Paradise Novella: Fae Wren's Story Page 6
