“Bullshit.”
“What?”
“What you felt for me was real and I fucking know it. The way you touched me, kissed me, looked at me… none of that was a lie. Was it?”
She looked away.
“Mirrie? Was it?”
“No,” she said quietly. “No, I never lied about my feelings for you.”
“So start talking and I mean right now.” His voice rose. “You owe me at least that much.”
“Can’t we just – just forget that we saw each other again? Just pretend it never happened?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“What will it accomplish to rehash all of this?” She was almost begging with him now. “It’s been over four years and I’m assuming we’ve both moved on… what good can come out of dragging it all in to the present?”
“What good?” His eyes were wide with disbelief. “You still don’t fucking get it, do you?”
“Get what?” she faltered.
“You broke my goddamn heart, Mirrie. Don’t you know that? You – you killed a part of me and I want to know why you did that and I want to know now.”
“No.” She started to inch towards the door. “Just let it go.”
“You think I can’t find you, now that I know you’re still here in Denver?” Mac said suddenly. “I’m guessing you know exactly who King is – you think that I’m above sending some of his people after you?”
Mirrie paled. “Shane…”
“Nuh-uh. No fucking way. You owe me a conversation and I’m going to get it. You can either give it to me willingly and on agreed-upon terms, or I can show up where you work or at your home and stand there until you open that little mouth and start talking.” He glared at her and the anger in it almost knocked her off her feet. “So what’s it gonna be?”
She bit her lip. “One conversation?”
“Yeah. And you tell me everything, Mirrie… everything. No bullshitting and no holding back. What really happened to you when we first met, why you ran from me without a goddamn word, where you’ve been, why you haven’t gotten back in touch. All of it.”
Her heart sank. “I – I can’t.”
“Then get used to me standing around your workplace, babe, ‘cause I ain’t shifting until you tell me what the fuck happened between us.”
“Shane.” Her voice was thick. “Shane, please.”
“Begging won’t do any good, I promise you.” His glare sharpened and intensified. “I deserve this. I deserve to know why.”
Mirrie stared at the floor, knowing that she was beaten on this whole thing. “OK. I’ll tell you what you want to know.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow morning. You know Cassie’s?”
“The café on Stout Street?”
“Yeah. Ten o’clock?”
He studied her. “How can I be sure you’ll actually show up?”
She shrugged. “If I don’t, it’ll just be delaying the inevitable, won’t it?”
“You are goddamn right about that, Mirrie.” His blue eyes were pure ice. “You disappeared on me once and that’s never happening again. Wherever you go from now on, I’ll find you and I don’t give a flying fuck how stalkery that makes me sound. Until you give me some satisfactory answers, I’m not letting this go. Trust me on this one.”
She gazed up at his cold face, took in the tension in his large muscles, and she believed every single word he said. The days of hiding from this man were over and she was shocked to find that a small part of her was actually relieved.
Yeah. It’s time.
Chapter Twenty-one
Aidan stood in the bedroom doorway, quietly observing Gabriela. She was on the living room sofa, of course, staring at the TV, as usual. She was surrounded by a dozen blankets and six pillows and she had another blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders. Aidan was sure that if he actually managed to pry the blanket away from her grip, she’d be shaking.
For the past month, she’d barely left that safe little nest that she’d built for herself. She dozed there during the day, twitching and jerking when the nightmares came, and she sat there all night. All the lights on, TV on, volume up, bolt upright on the sofa, staring blankly at the screen and seeing nothing. Waiting for the sunrise so she could finally sink in to an uneasy sleep.
Aidan had tried everything he could think of to coax her back in to their bed and his embrace and when she’d refused, he’d backed off. He’d hoped that with time, she’d come to him on her own. So night after night, he lay in bed with the door open and fought to stay awake, waiting for her to come back to him. Hoping that she would, but as time passed, that hope started to waver.
“Gabriela?” he said now, his voice low and soft. “You coming to bed?”
She looked over at him. “No. I think I’ll – I’ll stay out here for another night.”
He took a deep breath. “Baby, last night you said you’d try to come back to our bed tonight. Remember?”
She averted her eyes. “Yeah, but…”
He waited. “But what?”
“I – I’m not ready.”
Aidan fought with himself now, struggled hard. He hadn’t forced anything on her since she’d come out of the earth gray and not breathing: not a single conversation, not his body, not even a small touch. She wouldn’t let him comfort her after her nightmares; she wouldn’t let him hold her when she cried. She had retreated and shut down on every level and he’d just let her, thinking that she needed space. But maybe at this point, she didn’t need more space – maybe she needed to be held close.
Maybe she doesn’t know that, though.
“Gabriela?”
She glanced over at him again.
“I want you to come to bed with me.”
Panic flashed across her face. “No. I’m – it’s too dark in there.”
Aidan walked over to her slowly. “You won’t go back in to the dark, angel. We’ll leave the lights on and we can turn on some music on a loop so it won’t be too quiet.”
She pushed herself in to the back of the sofa, shaking her head.
“I won’t touch you, if you can’t handle it.” He sat next to her now. “I’ll stay on my side and you’ll stay on yours, I swear it. I just – I want you close to me, baby.”
“I can’t… I can’t be close.”
“Why not? Why can’t you just lie down next to me?”
Gabi clutched the blanket around her. “I – there’s not enough – you’re too –”
“Too what?” When she stayed silent, he almost gave up but then he remembered that letting this all go had done her no good so far. “Talk to me. Please.”
“I can’t breathe with you,” she whispered at last.
“You can breathe, baby. There’s lots of air for both of us.”
“No, I mean… you’ll take my breath. When you kiss me and hug me and – and climb on top of me. You’ll take my breath.”
Aidan hesitated, wondering if he understood what she was saying. “You think that kissing and holding and making love to me would… smother you?”
“Smother me, suffocate me, crush me, trap me.” She was looking straight at him for the first time in weeks, finally being totally honest. “Yes.”
“Oh, God.” He ran his hands through his hair. “That’s what this is really about, isn’t it? You’re afraid that doing things with me makes it physically hard for you to breathe?”
She nodded. “I’m sorry, Aidan. I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Why?”
“Because I knew it would hurt you.” She bit her lip. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“But you are hurting me.”
She raised her eyes, startled. “How?”
“By holding yourself away from me in every way possible. By not talking to me about what�
��s going on inside you. By hiding in this sofa cocoon in plain sight. You’re still down there, Gabriela, don’t you see that? In so many ways, you haven’t come out of the dark and the cold and I will do anything to pull you in to the light and warmth. So what do I do, baby? Tell me. Tell me and I’ll do it.”
Gabi shook her head. “I don’t know. But… I miss you, Aidan. I want to be close to you so much, I promise you. I just – my fear is bigger than my missing you.”
“OK.” He thought for a few seconds. “Look, you tried things your way for the past month and I think we can agree it ain’t going so hot.”
She managed a ghost of a grin. “That’s being diplomatic, don’t you think?”
Relieved at this hint of sass, Aidan continued. “So maybe we’ll try it my way tonight. You come back to our bed.”
She tensed up.
“We leave the lights on, we leave on some music, we don’t touch. But you stay with me, baby, all night. One night. Then tomorrow we see.”
She thought about it, trying to figure out how she felt about what Aidan was saying. God knows, she wanted to climb back in to their bed, she wanted to curl up against that amazing body. She wanted him on top of her, inside of her. But he was so big and heavy and he’d take her breath away, she just knew it.
“No touching?” she said with a tremor to her voice.
“None.”
“OK, then. I’ll try.”
He almost sagged to the floor. “You will?”
“Yes.”
“That’s my brave girl.” He stood up. “Come on then. Let’s go to bed.”
She struggled to her feet, followed him in to the bedroom. She stood with her arms wrapped around her shaking body, watching him get everything ready. He switched on the bedside lamp on her side, he put an instrumental CD on replay. Then he climbed in to bed and scooted way over to the edge, so far he was almost falling off the bed. The sight of this huge man taking up about a third of a bed, leaving the rest of the space for her, made her smile.
“Gabriela. Come to bed.”
She came over now, still shaking. His eyes darkened at that, but he didn’t reach for her. She hesitated, glanced over at the safety of the sofa.
“Baby. Please.”
The tenderness in his voice almost undid her and with a huge burst of courage, she lay down on the bed on her side, facing him, her blanket still wrapped around her. The white space between them felt like it went on forever. They lay there, staring at each other, both relaxing slowly.
“Aidan?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“Oh, God.” Aidan would give anything to be able to touch her now. “I love you too.”
“How long are you going to wait for me?” Finally, she gave voice to her biggest fear. “How long before you give up on me?”
Aidan gazed at her. “Forever and never.”
“Aidan…”
“Forever and never.” His face was sweet, open. “I waited for you for three years, angel, and then I had you for a month. Best fucking month of my whole life, I promise you, and I’ll wait for you to be ready to be with me like that again. I know what I’m waiting for, I know how great it will be, and I know it’s worth the wait.”
“Are you… are you telling me the truth?” she faltered.
“Completely. I. Will. Wait.”
Her tears came now and she curled up on herself and wept. Aidan’s whole body was straining to take her in to his arms, but he didn’t move one inch closer to her. It was hands-down the hardest damn thing he’d ever done. It killed him to listen to her cry, to watch her hurt, to just stay still and leave her alone. He hated every single fucking second of it. But he did it.
**
The next morning, Gabi woke up first. She was startled when she saw the sunlight streaming in through the windows and she glanced at the clock next to her.
Wow. I slept through the night and no nightmares. For the first time in a month.
Aidan was still sleeping soundly and she stayed still and just looked at him. God, he was gorgeous, with his blond hair that needed to be cut yet again, his muscled shoulders, his large hands. Even in repose and from several feet away, she could feel his strength and heat. Aidan was like the sun in so many ways: bright and golden and warm, and for the first time since she’d escaped that box, she wondered if he’d be able to melt the cold inside of her. If he could pull her out of the dark. He wanted to, she knew that.
Before she even really knew what was happening, she started moving across the bed to him. Slowly, quietly, watching him the whole time. With every inch she gained, she felt the cold inside of her start to thaw, the darkness surrounding her start to recede. That was when she knew – really knew – that holding herself away from Aidan had been a mistake. She couldn’t rejoin the living without him. She needed him to help her breathe.
Gabi was right next to him now and she ran her fingertip down his cheek, over his chin, up to his lips. She traced their sensual shape, remembering how it had felt to have those lips on her own, on her breasts, between her legs.
Those golden eyes opened now, startled and worried, but when she smiled at him, he smiled back.
“Morning, darlin’,” he said in that exaggerated drawl that always made her laugh. “What are you doing?”
“Touching you.” She ran her fingers down his throat, gentle on the raised scar from the bullet. “Is that OK?”
“Hell, yeah, it’s OK. Touch away.”
So she did and for several minutes he lay totally still, watching her. He made no move to reciprocate, didn’t push, didn’t even speak. He just let her absorb his warmth through her skin until she felt something move inside of her. She stopped for a few seconds, trying to figure out what she was feeling and that’s when it hit her: she was feeling. She was still able to feel, even after it all.
“Aidan?”
“Hmmm?”
“Can you please kiss me?”
He looked very serious, almost scared. “Maybe you should kiss me, baby.”
“You think?”
“I do.” Carefully, he reached for her now, touched her cheek. When she didn’t move away, he cupped the one side of her face in his large palm. “Come here and kiss me.”
Gabi moved and closed the last few inches between them now. She pressed herself against his body, the body that she knew so well and missed so damn much and raised her face to his.
His mouth was gentle, careful, soft, and she just brushed it with her own. It wasn’t a kiss – not yet – but it was the breath of one. She paused, taking stock of how she was feeling and was amazed that she felt light and airy. Free.
I’m not trapped, not anymore. I’m out of that box.
She kissed him now, kissed him properly. Her tongue traced the curve of his mouth delicately, tasting him. He groaned and held her to him, but gently, loosely. His scent surrounded her and her senses reeled as she inhaled his strength and solidity, feeling like she’d just walked in to a ray of sunshine.
That was when she realized that with his kiss, Aidan wasn’t taking her breath at all – he was actually breathing new life in to her. His large body wasn’t crushing or smothering and suffocating her – it was a wall between her and the world, keeping her safe. His arms weren’t trapping her or squeezing all the air from her lungs – they were cradling her, comforting her. With his kiss, Aidan hauled her out of the dirt at last, and she was now standing in full sunlight under a blue summer sky, arms wide open to love and life.
He broke the kiss and moved back, his eyes anxiously searching her face.
“OK?” he said.
“OK,” she whispered. “Aidan…”
“Yeah, baby?”
“I can breathe again.”
**
Dear Reader,
I very much hope that you enjoye
d Aidan and Gabi’s story, and catching up with all the ‘Dangerous Curves’ characters. And please note that Dillon and Maria’s story (which is hinted at in this book), is described in much more detail in ‘Open Life’ (Open Skies #5), which is already for sale.
‘Gentle Curves’ (Dangerous Curves #4), Mac and Mirrie’s story, will be published in May 2015. If you want to know when it is available for purchase, please check on one of my social media platforms (Twitter, Facebook, and my blog). I will be announcing its release in all of these places, and posting some teaser excerpts.
Thank you for reading!
Marysol
About the author
Marysol James is the author of the 'Open Skies', ‘Fighting For Love’, 'Unseen Enemy' and 'Dangerous Curves' series.
She writes steamy, sexy, slinky romances which feature strong, complex women and equally fascinating men. Marysol is interested in producing well-written and passionate stories with characters who learn to let go of control and to trust – both in and out of the bedroom.
Her stories are very sensual (very!), and offer smart plots, a bit of humor, and lots of character development, so her books will appeal to readers who want emotional connection as well as sexuality.
When not writing, Marysol can be found swimming, doing yoga, listening to music and drinking coffee. To stay up-to-date with her, visit her official author website at www.marysoljames.com
By the same author
The ‘Unseen Enemy’ Series:
Enemy Within (Unseen Enemy #1)
Enemy Outside (Unseen Enemy #2)
Enemy Mine (Unseen Enemy #3)
Enemy From The Past (Unseen Enemy #4)
Solid Muscle (Unseen Enemy #5)
PUBLICATION DATE: March 2015
Solid Steel (Unseen Enemy #6)
PUBLICATION DATE: April 2015
The ‘Dangerous Curves’ Series:
Dangerous Curves (Dangerous Curves #1)
Killer Curves (Dangerous Curves Book 3) Page 23
