by Kat Pace
“Hey guys,” I grin, turning to the dudes. Plus Katie. Yes, definitely horseshoe girl.
It’s a chorus of hellos. But really I only pay attention to one.
“Took long enough,” Brooks says, eyes narrowed.
“Had to keep you waiting,” I smirk.
“Had to?” He rolls his eyes. Guys, I missed this eye roll.
“It hasn’t even been a week. I know I’m great, but chill,” I roll my eyes.
“Get in!” Alex says, splashing hot water at me. Katie is all over him.
“OK. OK.” I peel off my clothes and leave them in a heap next to the basket of rolled white towels.
Travis fake catcalls me and I shoot him daggers.
I climb into the tub and oh my god. Something about being outside in the freezing cold, in a hot tub, with mountains surrounding you. I can’t tell if the swirling heat in front of me is steam rising from the water or my breath.
I scoot next to Trix. Pace yourself. Don’t be too eager. Don’t go right to him. You’re better than that.
I’m on a ledge in the tub, so the water hits just at my chest.
It’s mf cold out.
“How was your guys’ flight?” I ask.
“Not bad,” Travis answers. “Almost missed it because someone couldn’t leave the house on time.”
“Yea, you,” Alex laughs.
“Would have been fine if I didn’t have to make three separate stops in the morning!” Travis shoots him an evil eye.
“Hey, it’s not our fault you chose the early AM flight,” Brooks says, pushing a wave of water toward Travis.
“We got here like five hours ago,” Nate tells me.
“Yea, we checked the whole place out,” Meg says.
“This place is incredible. It’s got a mini town with a bar and everything,” Trix says.
“Yea, I saw the moose on my way in.” I laugh.
“Yea, I saw like 10 more in the lobby and the hall and the room.” Trix nods.
“Hopefully we don’t see any on the slopes,” Brooks says.
“Hopefully we do.” I say, staring at him. It’s the way my voice sounds when I say we. It’s like I’m talking just to him. His eyes lock on mine. The intensity is back.
Everyone laughs but I just hear him.
“OK, well we’re gonna go,” Nate says, stepping out of the tub and grabbing a towel. He tosses one to Meg.
“Us too,” Katie says.
“Ugh, but it’s so cold.” Alex whines.
“Ugh, but I made us dinner reservations,” Katie whines back, dragging him up by his hand. “You’re welcome.”
You know, Katie is growing on me.
Our number cuts in half. And I can’t help but notice that with only the four of us left in the tub, there is no one between Brooks and me. Just open water.
“Don’t forget to meet us at the club. 10PM!” Trix calls after them.
Meg and Katie wave their hands behind them to acknowledge her.
“10PM? Club?” I ask.
“Trav would like to go to a nightclub tonight.” Trix answers.
“A nightclub? Here? They actually have one of those?” I ask, laughing.
“Just the one.” Travis answers.
“Travis thinks we’re 18 again.” Brooks runs his fingers through his hair, shaking the water out.
I’m closer to him now. I’ve been subconsciously inching my way over on the hot tub ledge.
“It’s been so long since we’ve all gotten drunk together,” Trix says.
“So long?” I raise my eyebrows. “Trix, literally that’s all we do every time we’re together.”
“Not like nightclub drunk,” she sighs and rolls her eyes. “We just get Back Bay drunk.”
“Is that so terrible?” Travis asks.
“I like Back Bay drunk. My first and favorite kind of drunk,” Brooks grins.
“Same!” I laugh.
I know he’s thinking of the same night I am –junior year of high school after Homecoming. Travis, the jock, threw the first and still most epic Back Bay party. First night I think we all got drunk. First night Brooks and I got drunk drunk. First of a lot of things.
Trix’s hair fans out on the water’s surface. It’s so long it’s almost touching my shoulder. Yes, I’m shoulder deep now. Almost in the deep seat next to Brooks.
“So are you guys going to tell us?” Trix smirks.
“Tell you… what?” I ask.
“Where you two disappeared to at the Benefit?” Travis lowers his eyes at us.
“We went to dance and then poof,” Trix says, opening a fist full of water. “Gone.”
“You guys were seeing things,” Brooks says.
“Apparently they were not seeing things,” I laugh.
Brooks throws his head back and stretches his arms over the sides of the hot tub. The jets start another round of bubbles. His thumb rests against the side of my neck, tickling like the little wisps of hair that escaped my clip.
“Oh god, it’s starting,” Travis says.
“Please,” I smirk. V much aware of how close Brooks and I are now. Seriously, when did this happen? It’s almost impossible to fight it.
I breaststroke across the hot pool, leaving Brooks in my wake, and take the empty seat next to Trix.
“Happy now?” I shook a look at Travis. He grins.
“Actually, babe, I think we need to go too.” Trix turns to Travis.
OMG. I try to telecommunicate with her but no luck.
“Alright, alright. We’ll leave you two alone.” Travis laughs.
“Behave kids.” Trix laughs.
And then there were two.
Every ounce of me is teeming with emotion. Every emotion at once. All the emotions. It’s the first time we’ve been alone since Christmas, which OK was only like one week ago, but still. It was easy with other people around to help dilute the (sexual) tension. But now we’re alone. Now I’m allowing myself to think about him. About us.
Brooks and I sit on opposite sides of the hot tub, looking at each other. Straight faced.
Straight face contest. We are 10 again.
His lips part into a smug smile. GOD, I can’t help but melt.
“What do you want from me?” I ask. Not sure I want an actual answer.
“Like, in life? Or right now?” Brooks asks. He slowly moves to the center of the hot tub, careful to stay in the water. “Because right now…”
He closes in and kisses my neck under my ear. His arms are confining me to my spot in the hot tub. He moves a hand to my shoulder blades and over my scantily-clad black cage bikini. His hand twists my hair in his fingers. My body reacts before my mind can even weigh its options.
So much for holding out.
Ah well, c’est la vie.
He kneels in the center and pulls me to him. My legs wrap on either side of his hips. I arch my back toward him and he pulls me up and spins. He sits on the ledge and sits me in his lap. My back is against his chest and I can already feel him beneath my butt. He reaches down and gently moves across my bottoms. This is his tease game. I can tell by his mood. I won’t allow it. I stop him before I regret it and turn myself around on his lap.
“You still didn’t answer,” I mumble against his skin. “What do you want from me?”
“You’re shit with cues, aren’t you?” He laughs.
“Ha-ha, you’re just shit.”
“I’ve been waiting all week,” he says.
“It’s been six days.” I say.
“Six very long days,” Brooks corrects me, laughing.
“Come on, where’s your will power?” I joke, leaning into him again. His lips are SO CLOSE.
“Obviously wherever yours is.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and run my fingers through his hair the way I’ve seen him do it a hundred times. His hair is cool from being wet in the cold hair. It’s started to harden in tiny little rows. It feels good against my palms. His eyes close like he’s been waiting for my touch this en
tire time. I could watch him forever. Sit on him and watch him forever.
I catch the twinkling lights out of the corner of my eye. Other couples are walking along the pool, wrapped in robes, enjoying the other hot tubs. I can see blurs moving along the mountain, weaving in and out of the tree line.
I turn back to him and man my face hurts from smiling. The blue green of his eyes lights up under the snowy sky.
Ugh.
My lips part his. His arms wrap around me, eager. I gently rock back and forth, pressing my hips into his. Pressing my chest against his. Pressing my life into him if he’d let me. He has all of me. Forever.
Just can’t ever tell him that.
The Rave
10:52 PM
We’ve been at the nightclub for twenty minutes. And I’ve decided every single person in a ten-mile radius over the age of 21 must be here. It’s jam packed with pre-New Years vibes. Haven’t danced like this since college.
“Here. HERE! Everyone gets one.” Travis distributes a tiny pink pill to each of us, shouting over The Chainsmokers and Halsey. He can’t complete.
“What is it?” Meg says.
“Yea, what’s it gonna do?” Nate echoes the sentiment.
“Who cares?” Alex takes the pill.
“Where did you get it?” Brooks asks.
“Don’t ask. Just take.” Travis flashes a smile, throws his head back and pops his own pill.
I glance at Brooks who kind of shrugs.
“Don’t ask. Just take.” I nod.
The two of us pop our own pills.
I’ve never been one to just take without asking first. Disclaimer: I’m not a casual drug user. But what happens in a Vail nightclub…
“And more shots!” Trix says as the skimpily dressed waitress drops another bottle at our table.
“God I live for bottle service!” Alex shouts.
Trix clumsily pours shots into plastic shot glasses and throws on in each of our hands.
“To fucking 2019!” Nate shouts over the music.
“To fucking it nice and good!” Alex roars over all our laughter. There’s a loud crash as our glasses clank and flying vodka splashes our faces.
It stings on the way down. The music blasts my eardrums. My other senses are on fire. I can feel the rhythm of the beat on the floor. I can feel it pounding in my chest.
“Let’s dance!” Trix coos, yanking Travis by the arm toward the dance floor. She pauses only to try and grab my arm too. I hardly resist. I let her pull me into the sea of body glitter. Brooks follows me, guided by the magnets again.
We lose ourselves under the flashing colored lights. Rays of blue and green and purple shooting across the dance floor. Neon orange and pink glow sticks everywhere. Girls dance on raised platforms stationed like pillars around the room. The EDM is a real game right now.
I feel like I’m at an underground rave, tripping, high on some under-the-counter hallucinogenic. I’m dancing like I’m at a high school rave. Brooks and I grind into each other. Basically grind into everyone else too. We’re packed like a horde of sex-driven lusty sardines.
Only the fire behind Brooks’s eyes brings me back to the moment. To the raw magnetism between us. Fitting Electric Love a la B☐RNS is the soundtrack to this moment. Too fitting. I’m feeling it in my bones. It is electric love.
He rubs his hands over my hips, up my bare midriff, over my crop top. Electric. The heat. Electric. Bodies writhing and glistening with sweat under the neon lights. Electric. The blood coursing through my veins. Electric.
The full effects of the drug and the shot I washed it down with are hitting me. I haven’t been this fucked up in months. I gotta hand it to Travis, the nightclub was an excellent idea.
I’m shaking. I’m high. I’m drunk.
I’m a fucking unicorn.
I’m not sure of anything but I can feel everything –arguably the best sensation. I can feel the lights and the music and the emotion. I can feel a hand leading me away from the dance floor. And then I blink and we’re down a dark hallway. Lights flicker above us. It smells of beer and piss and I’m not sure how we got here. But we’re pressed against the wall, making out like two kids hiding under the bleachers –like two people who will never live to see another day.
Brooks leans hard against me, breathing deeply to the beat of the music. People walk by us. They don’t stop. They don’t care. We are free from judgment here. I gasp for the breath in Brooks’s mouth, panting against him as he takes my lips between his teeth. I moan into him and we lose ourselves. The beat of The Chainsmokers’ Closer vibrates on the walls and under my feet.
We are closer.
Minutes later we are back on the floor, back to dancing again, our stolen moment a shared secret. Trix has given up on shots, as she can hardly stand on her own now. Travis steers her over to the side of the crowded floor. Meg and Nate are falling all over each other but still dancing.
Behind them I see Alex and Katie grinding on a platform for the dancers. Both decked in one hundred glowing necklaces with neon war paint smeared all over their faces. They’re laughing and smiling and somehow still managing to make out.
“I’ve got to take her,” Travis yells over the music. I can tell he yells it but it sounds like a whisper with how loud it is in here. Trix is hanging all over him.
“OK!” I scream back moving closer to him. My hand is still holding onto Brooks’s.
“Let’s go with them.” Brooks’s words are right behind my ear. He’s leaning down and I can feel his warm breath on my skin. “Are you ready?”
“Yesss,” I nod, smiling. I’m so drunk. I’m so ready.
Brooks and Travis start towards the door. They look so similar from the back. Trix throws her arms around me and kisses my cheek. She’s stumbling again. I’m stumbling again. She has neon glow paint (is it paint? I hope it’s paint) in her braid.
“EMAY!” She giggles. “I jus luv yew so much!”
“I know, I know,” I say, laughing. “Love you too! We’re are gonna head outs. Come on!”
I half walk –half drag her after the boys. She reminds me of Barbie right now, a thought that makes me smile when I remember that Barbie reminded me of Trix. Halloween is the last time I was even remotely this drunk.
Travis stops to help once we’re at the door. He takes Trix’s hands from around my neck. I stand upright again.
We walk into the night, laughing and screaming and still reeling from the drunken high –the high high. The cold air feels refreshing against our skin –still hot and prickly from inside. I walk beside Brooks and the others walk behind us. Trix laughing at Travis as he sings into the cold air.
“Les go to zee hottub!” Trix slurs.
“OK. OK. We’ll go.” Travis says, shaking his head at me behind Trix’s back. He mouths no way.
He’s laughing at her. I’m laughing at him laughing at her. He takes such good care of her it hurts.
“I thinks I’m magic. I’m a wizard or a witches,” Trix slurs.
“A witches? Are you a good witch or or a bads witch?” I laugh at her.
“You’re a goods witch,” she giggles through her hair.
“Room?” Brooks’s whisper is muffled against my hair.
I squeeze his hand in mine.
“We’re going back,” he tells Travis.
“Fine! Havfuun.” Trix slurs again, kissing my cheek.
“Yous too!”
We cross the bonfire pit in the center of the village. Our breath escapes our mouths in spirals of steam. The cold is sobering.
“Where is YOUR room?” I ask Brooks, slightly leaning against him.
“Where’s yours?” He mumbles into my lips.
We’re half-walking/half-stumbling kissing on the way back to the room. Holy shit, why did I wear tissue paper for a top?
“I asked you first,” I say, crossing my arms. He never answers!
“My room is your room.”
“What!? HA-HA. You didn’t gets your own room did you?�
� OMG. Dead.
“I figured we didn’t need two.” Brooks laughs at the shock clearly displayed on my drunken face. “Figured you’d share. Won’t you?”
