by Mimi Flood
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
We strolled through a tunnel of birch trees, their green leaves shimmering in the late morning’s sun. I was starting to get the hang of riding—Sunshine and I slowly developing a rhythm. He kept his pace to a trot, as I tried desperately to keep my balance and not fall off.
Soon, the path widened and Devon slowed down, guiding his horse to my side.
“See, you’re a natural. Nothing to worry about,” he said, his smile reassuring me if only a little bit.
“How long is this trail anyhow?” I didn’t want the ride to end necessarily, but my lower body craved some rest.
“The entire trail? About ten kilometres,” he said, smiling. My eyes popped out of my head, making him laugh out loud. “Don’t worry, we’ll be stopping soon.”
A few moments later, he slowed down and took a right turn through some bushes. I followed suit. We went down an even smaller, almost inconspicuous path. This clearly wasn’t his first time here—the path would only be known to a habitual rider. I would have walked right by it. Within moments, we had reached an idyllic grassy clearing interspersed with weeping willow trees and a small brook.
I followed Devon toward the water, where he tied our horses’ reins to a nearby tree, letting them graze and drink. He helped me dismount, placing his hands on my waist, lifting me down from the stirrups without any difficulty.
With his bag in his hands, he walked to one of the weeping willows and took out a large, plaid blanket. I helped him lay it down on the ground, under the shade of the tree. Though summer was still quite a while away, the day had become exceptionally warm.
We sat down. Devon reached into the bag, taking out several containers. I opened one to find various fruits and vegetables. In another were some cheese and crackers. Unsure when he’d had the time to get everything ready, I glanced up at him, impressed.
“You really come prepared, don’t you?” I said, popping a piece of cheese into my mouth.
“I used to be a boy scout,” he laughed. “It’s mandatory.”
I wasn’t sure if he was being serious, but I could imagine him as the leader, guiding his fellow scouts, teaching them how to camp and make fires using nothing but some sticks and a rope. The thought made me smile.
We ate quietly, Devon looking at the creek, pensive. I knew then that my opinion of him had been turned completely on its head in the last two days. I watched him appreciating the beauty of our surroundings and though the day had been great so far, I was curious as to what exactly he might be expecting and worried that this might lead to something more serious, something I wasn’t entirely sure was a good idea.
“Devon,” I said, clearing my throat. “Why did you do all of this?”
He looked at me as if my question didn’t make sense.
“I wanted to spend time with you. Maybe take your mind off things.” I bit my lip, considering his answer. “You don’t like it?”
“I do,” I answered swiftly, seeing the expectation in his eyes. I was grateful for the distraction, even if I was uncertain where it would lead. “It all just seems a little romantic.”
“And you don’t do romantic?” he asked, his eyes suggestive but soft.
I blushed and forced myself to look away. The fact was that from the moment I woke up until this very second, the day had been perfect—something I could only have dreamt of. And even then, not even my subconscious could have come up with something as pleasant.
But as I took in his deeply serious expression, and as his insanely captivating eyes peered into mine, I had to face the reality that I did do romantic and that I wanted it, desperately. Paul had never been one to shower me with anything more than very rare expressions of love and maybe occasional gifts. I suppose I had grown accustomed to it being that way and had never stopped to question what I was missing or what I needed from my relationships.
Now that I found myself with someone I was deeply attracted to and who was putting in the actual effort to show me a good time, it made me unsure how to proceed. Was this all a glimpse of what it could be like between Devon and I or was he only putting on a show to get me to sleep with him? I remembered the supposed on-and-off relationship he had with Nicole. It wasn’t too far-fetched of an idea to think that Devon might just be looking for a fling, taking advantage of the fact that I wouldn’t be sticking around for much longer. Taking advantage of my vulnerability.
And to make matters worse, I felt like I couldn’t get a grip on my feelings. I was all over the place, no matter how Devon was making me feel deep inside. I felt like I couldn’t be sure if I was following my heart or just hiding behind the distraction he was offering.
And how that distraction was enticing.
“You didn’t have to do all of this,” I said, the words sounding far more pathetic than I had intended them to. “I don’t want you getting the wrong idea.”
He let out a long sigh but didn’t seem annoyed.
“First of all,” he answered, inching closer. “I was going to take Lucky out for a ride today, anyhow, so it wasn’t that much trouble having you tag along.”
He reached into a container and took out a strawberry. Holding it by the stem, he rolled it between his index and thumb, making me swallow hard. There was something deeply seductive in the way he was holding it—the way his fingers, so strong and long, were handling the soft, red fruit.
“Secondly,” he continued, leaning into me, lifting the strawberry as if he was about to feed it to me. “I’m not getting the wrong idea. I really like you, Elle, and I like spending time with you.”
Gently, he ran the strawberry along my lips. Initially, his straightforwardness stunned me, even though I quickly reminded myself that it shouldn’t. Devon had made more than one or two moves lately and it really wasn’t a surprise where this was headed. I was nervous, felt my heartbeat quicken, but my desires took over and I went along with it, throwing all hesitations to the wind.
Grinning, I took a bite of the fruit, while gazing deep into his eyes. He smiled. I licked my lips ever so slowly, making him bite his lower lip. Suddenly, I became acutely aware of our breathing, no longer hearing the sounds around us. I didn’t care that we were outdoors—we could have been in the middle of a crowded park and I would have had the same reaction. Captivated by our surroundings, I surrendered to my hunger.
I reached for him, pulling him down on top of me. His lips were on mine instantly, his kiss intense and consuming, taking my breath away. His tongue found mine and I felt his thigh in between my legs. His weight pressed down on me, making me feel safe and I forgot all the reasons why I should stop what was about to happen.
Devon pulled back, removing my pants. Never dropping his gaze, he lowered himself again and kissed my legs and the insides of my thighs. My body arched up in response. I watched, propped up on my elbows, as he wet his finger and gently inserted it into me. The feeling was mind-blowing. His touch, warm and soft, yet also strong, almost immediately made me come undone. He moved in and out with increasing speed, all the while planting soft kisses on my thighs, making me moan a little louder than I had meant to. With his other hand, he began to rub me in just the right spot, bringing me closer and closer to the edge of my orgasm. I writhed with pleasure, pushing against his hand, giving myself that little extra satisfaction.
Suddenly, he stopped and was on top of me again.
“Elle,” he said, his thigh taking over where his hands had just been. “Can I fuck you now?”
“Yes, but I’d like to see you naked first,” I said, reaching for him and unzipping his jeans, making him smile with what seemed like self-satisfaction. He looked up at me as if baffled. “Properly, this time, and not through a window,” I added, not about to give in without seeing him in all his glory. In truth, I was a little stunned at my own bluntness but I knew I owed my inner-teenager for messing up last night.
He surrendered, laughing and stood up. His shirt came off first, revealing the same muscular body I had remembered from high schoo
l, but now with that added definition of a grown man. Those few, curvy teenage pounds had been replaced by lean, sculpted muscles. His skin was still the same caramel colour I’d been obsessed with. He reached for his pants, but I stopped him.
“Wait! Slowly,” I commanded. I wanted to enjoy every second of this.
“You’re a little pervert, aren’t you?” he joked, returning to the task at hand.
As slowly as I was sure his body would allow him, he removed his jeans. He was wearing grey boxer-briefs, but not for long. He stepped out of them and revealed himself to me. He stood, glaring at me as if waiting for the word Go.
I took in the view. I had never given much thought to what my ideal man should look like, but at that moment, I realized he was its personification. He had a washboard stomach, his waist the perfect width, all leading to that v-shape—what I had always called the road to riches. I stared, surprised by his considerable endowment.
Perfection.
“Uncomfortable?” I asked, noticing him squirm a little.
“Not in the least. I’m an exhibitionist, remember?” he replied, fully confident. He nodded in my direction. “Quid pro quo. Your turn.”
I pursed my lips but accepted his challenge, seeing as I was already halfway there. I sat up and started to remove my shirt.
“No, no, no,” he interrupted. “Stand up.”
I stood, feeling incredibly exposed. His gaze grew hotter and he licked his lips. I obeyed, removing my panties, then bra, suddenly very aware that I was outdoors.
He stepped closer to me, brushing his hand along my stomach and around to my back. Grabbing my ass firmly, he pulled me against him, our hips colliding. His lips were on my neck as he swiftly lifted me off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his waist, running my fingers through his hair. He knelt back down on the blanket, settling me on his lap. I pressed my weight down on him, feeling him beneath me and moved ever so slightly, hearing him moan. The sound was music to my ears. With one arm he reached into his bag and pulled out a condom.
“Always prepared,” I joked, nibbling his earlobe.
He leaned into me, pushing me onto my back.
“Always,” he smiled, ripping the foil packet and rolling the condom on.
The seconds felt like hours, my desire difficult to contain. He lowered himself, his elbows on each side of my head. Looking deep into his eyes, I returned his smile as he entered me with one swift push.
He stilled as if savouring the moment. I could feel him tense a little more as he pulled out slowly, only to return with another hard thrust. It wasn’t painful, not in the least. I matched each powerful thrust with my own, letting my accumulated and unsatisfied feelings of the past few days take over. His momentum quickened, still thrusting hard, but moving faster and faster.
Our combined screams and moans echoed in the open meadow, as we grew unconcerned with being heard. The soft springtime breeze caressed our exposed skin and my body became more and more sensitive. My orgasm grew in a way I had never experienced before. I felt like I wanted the experience to last forever; to have him in me for as long as possible—to make time stand still. Yet, my need for release was becoming too difficult to control. I sensed it was the same for him, his moans becoming more and more arduous.
Unable to keep holding on, I let go, all my muscles tensing and quivering, my skin overcome by goosebumps. As I tightened around him, Devon gave one more strong push and came as well, pressing his body onto mine. His weight was crushing but the feeling of his skin’s warmth against mine made my orgasm that much more intense. Reaching our full release, our breathing steadied and became synchronized. The lull of his breathing flooded me with a wave of fatigue.
Devon kissed my forehead, my cheeks, my neck, and relaxing his body against mine, he placed one hand on my breast. His fingers caressed and tickled my skin. The affection was welcomed, as I ran my fingers up and down his back. We let our bodies relax, and coming down from my high, I began to shiver a little.
“Are you cold?” Reaching around me, he took the blanket and wrapped it over me.
“Thanks.”
The intensity of the moment started to wean and I was growing more and more aware of my nudity. I felt a growing shyness creeping in. Devon was cuddling up to me, holding me in his arms, but all I could do was look up into the blue sky, watch the clouds roll by, and begin let my worries take over.
“That was...”
“Yeah, it was,” he replied.
“How do you know what I was going to say?” I turned my body to him, his belly against mine.
“I guess I don’t,” he answered, pulling me closer still.
My lips against his chest, I smiled, kissing him. I could lay like this forever, I thought, shocked by how I felt. I had barely been too keen on sleeping with Devon a few hours ago and now after having sex with him only once I was ready to stay with him forever? I assumed it was yet another side effect of my lingering teenage angst and dismissed the thought from my mind.
This would not turn into something long-term, I reminded myself. It could not.
“Maybe we should get going?” I asked, abruptly, surprising even myself.
I felt him stiffen next to me. “We just got here. And the food...”
I sat up and looked at the containers that were now knocked over, food spilled on to the grass. There was something within me, greater than me, that was panicking. Now that my mind had been freed from unexplored desires, my nerves were clearly taking over and doubt was starting to simmer. Common sense made me wonder if I had just made a huge mistake. This entire weekend’s weight had shifted from one problem to a completely new one, and now it felt as if it was crushing me.
“I’m really not that hungry.” I knew very well that I was being rude and in truth I was famished.
“You’re not?” He didn’t seem too convinced.
I shook my head. “I appreciate all of this, but I think I should get home.”
“If that’s really what you want.”
He stood up, handing me my shirt, which I put on hastily. As quickly as I was getting dressed, he did the opposite, taking his time. I could see he was upset, avoiding eye contact and I was soon overcome by guilt. A flash of doubt passed through me, and I could hear my inner-teenager screaming You moron!
Thoughts of Paul, of my grandmother, and especially of the Orchard overwhelmed me and I felt as if they were starting to suffocate me. I knew I couldn’t handle even one more complication, and despite my intense attraction to him, Devon was becoming exactly that—a complication.
We walked back to the horses, which were still grazing quietly by the river and I waited while Devon tied the bag to Lucky’s saddle. I felt like I should say something, but instead, not able to come up with anything remotely helpful in this situation, I remained silent. I could see his frustration simmering below his otherwise calm surface and assumed talking would only lead to a fight—and I definitely wasn’t interested in a confrontation.
I got back in Sunshine’s saddle, this time unassisted by Devon, who seemed too preoccupied with his horse, and I felt sad and frustrated. If only I had stuck to my original gut feeling and had kept things platonic, he and I might not be in this awkward place.
Soon we were back on the path, leaving our little sanctuary behind. I became convinced that he was going to give me the silent treatment all the way back home. The ride to the paddock, which had seemed long on our way in, now seemed like it would take an eternity.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Once we had returned the horses to the stables, Bob wished us a good day. Devon and I were polite, but I could see in the old man’s eyes that he could tell something had changed between the both of us. He smiled at me, almost knowingly and it took all my strength to return the smile.
In the car, the awkwardness was becoming unbearable and I felt like I had to speak up, but Devon beat me to it.
“Listen,” he said, as we pulled out onto the main road. “I’m sorry if this felt rushed. I just
wanted to show you a good time. Get your mind off things.”
His eyes searched mine and I could feel my heart wanting to leap out of my chest. Sure, I could admit how amazing it all was and then see where it could lead. And I could assume that I would never get tired of it, but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t. Who was I kidding? There was no way a man like him would want a girl like me, at least not long-term. Us being together was too complicated, anyhow, not to mention completely unfathomable.
“You don’t regret it, do you?”
I sighed, unsure how to explain what I was thinking but feeling like I was suddenly trapped. I needed to get out of this situation, to get away from him, if only to clear my mind and figure everything out.
“No, not exactly. It was great. You were great.” I was nervous as hell and starting to stutter. “I just don’t think this was a good idea.”
He remained quiet, his silence making me even more nervous.
“I’m sorry, Devon. I can’t see this going anywhere.”
There, it was out, I thought, half relieved.
“Right,” was all he said.
I watched him, gauging if he was going to say anything else. Instead, he stared at the road ahead. I sighed, feeling drained and looked out the window, trying to ignore the feeling of defeat growing inside.
“Why exactly do you think this needs to be more than what it is?” he asked a few minutes later, startling me out of the silent reverie I was in. His face was stoic.
“I thought that what happened back there was more than...you know? I guess I was wrong.” I replied. Though I was thinking it, I wasn’t about to tell him what I really believed—that all this had been to him was another notch in his tally of girls he had fucked. I cringed, waiting for what was to come.
Instead, I heard him laugh, a loud, genuinely amused laugh. I turned to look at him, unable to speak, unsure what was so funny.
“You kill me,” he said between chuckles.
“What are you laughing at?” I asked, getting annoyed.
