“He wants to go visit Sarah in prison,” I said.
Callie paused. “Okay. So?”
“So… she was paying a guy to frame us… him, I mean, as being a bad parent. She didn’t care that the photos weren’t an accurate portrayal, she just wanted to get Olivia away from Lex. And now he wants to go talk to her? Like she’s some sort of reasonable person?”
Callie winced. “It sounds like you’re jealous.”
“Jealous?” My gut wrenched. “Jealous of a convict/herione addict? Not likely.”
“Not… jealous of her life, necessarily. But maybe, are you jealous that she gets to be Olivia’s biological mother?”
I swallowed against the searing pain that pierced my heart. That statement was like a fist hitting a barely healing bruise.
“And maybe a little scared that, if she cleans up her act, Lex will want the family and the white picket fence with her, not you?”
“If that’s what he wants, then he’s an asshole.”
Callie nodded. “True. But that’s not what he wants.”
“How do you know?” My throat burned. “That’s what everyone said about Brandon.”
Callie didn’t say anything, and when I looked up, I found her shaking her head at me. “That’s not what everyone said about Brandon. I mean, look, I was really young… like, only a dumb kid in high school. But I remember Steve and Cam and Hannah all warning you to take it slowly with him. They told you that Brandon didn’t need to meet up for alimony payments in person and that his relationship with his ex seemed really strange.”
Callie stood and slid into the chair beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as I took another bite of my dinner. “I’m not going to sit here and promise you that Lex won’t do the same thing. I’m not a psychic, as much as I wish I was one.” Callie paused. “Holy hell, how cool would that be? If I was psychic? I could do tarot cards…”
I rolled my eyes. “Callie, focus.”
“Right, sorry. Anyway, Lex’s behavior is not the same as Brandon’s. He has a kid with Sarah… she’s going to have to be in his life in some fashion, and if you’re not okay with that… I dunno, maybe you should call it off now. But, for the record… I don’t think you should call it off. Because he’s not doing anything wrong, wanting his daughter to have a mother. And I think Lex is great for you.”
Damn. Just what I didn’t want to hear. Also just what I needed to hear. Because, rationally, I knew all those things. But that jealous, two-headed monster reared its head constantly.
I took a sniff of the vodka, and my stomach immediately roiled. “But the question is, am I willing to be in a relationship again where an ex is a factor?”
Callie shrugged. “I can’t answer that for you. But I do know that lots of people go on to have healthy relationships with blended families.”
It was true. I knew it was true. It just didn’t feel like that could be true for me.
Callie kissed the side of my head. “Look. Tonight, let’s eat and watch some bad TV. You’ll get some rest and I’ll take care of the gym tomorrow again. Today went smoothly, and you don’t have any clients booked for private lessons tomorrow. You can take the day off. Hang out with Penny and Frost. Do something just for you.”
Do something just for me. I didn’t even know what the hell that looked like anymore.
Callie and I moved to the couch and I dropped my head on her shoulder, grabbing a blanket and tugging it over our laps. My phone buzzed in my hand and I turned it over, seeing a text from Lex.
Lex: I miss you. Can we meet after work tomorrow?
Emotion clogged my throat and I sniffed, typing back to him.
Me: Yes, please. I miss you, too.
With a sigh, I slipped the phone onto the coffee table, feeling immensely better. I needed to apologize to Lex. But I wanted to do it in person.
“Callie, do you believe people can change?”
Her brows disappeared behind her blonde fringe bangs. “I hate that question.” Her face twisted into a frown.
I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. “Okay, never mind.”
“No, really. I hate that question. Yes, I think some people can change. And some people I don’t think ever will. And some people I think will change for certain people they love, but their bad patterns will continue with people they value less. It’s totally different case by case. Like, I don’t believe ‘once a cheater, always a cheater.’ But I think if there’s a long-standing pattern of cheating where the person has been given chance after chance to make a different choice? Yeah, they’re probably not going to change.”
I rubbed my face. “Not exactly a helpful answer.”
Callie shrugged. “It’s true, though, in my experience. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to stop believing in all people simply because some don’t deserve second chances. I want to be the person who believes in the world. Who believes in the people that I love. Don’t you?”
I swallowed the robin’s egg in my throat and nodded. My sister was a good person. A trusting person. A freaking much better person than I was, and for someone so young, she was really wise beyond her years. “I do, too. Hey, how’d you get so smart, kid?”
She winked at me. “I had a great role model.”
33
Ronnie
I did my best to sleep in… I really did. But by eight o’clock, I’d already woken up, taken Penny on a two-mile run, made myself breakfast, and fed Frost. Now, I was sitting on my couch with coffee watching some morning show banter.
Penny looked up at me from his empty food bowl with pitiful, brown eyes. “No,” I scolded him. “One cup is all you get for breakfast.” I swear this dog acted like I never fed him. He had that Oliver Twist, Please sir, may I have some more thing going for him.
From the counter, Frost licked her paw and gave a dainty Meow. “Don’t you start on me.”
She hopped down from the counter and sat next to her best friend. Both of them stared at me while I nibbled on my scrambled eggs and turkey bacon. “Okay fine. But just a little.” With a roll of my eyes, I tore a piece of bacon in half and gave a bit to each of them.
Another thirty minutes, two cups of coffee, and one shower later, I was towel drying my hair as a group text came through from Lydia to me and our friend, Kyra.
Lydia: Mani/pedis today?
Kyra answered back immediately.
Kyra: I’m always in for some pampering.
I really wasn’t a mani-pedi kind of girl. I was too damn active. Within seconds of painting my nails, that shit would chip off. Or I would literally ruin it while trying to get my car keys out, leaving the salon.
Even still, it was better than sitting around the house all day.
Me: Yes! I’m on my way.
I hopped off the couch and grabbed my car keys. Sitting around my house all day was not what I called a fun day off. That was the difference between me and Callie, I guess. She was totally content to lounge in her pj’s until eleven o’clock, while I considered sleeping until seven a lazy day.
Kyra’s text came back quickly.
Kyra: Whoa, slow your roll. I’m not even out of bed yet. Meet you both there in an hour?
I sighed and flopped back onto the couch. Another hour? What was I going to do for an hour?
A text from Lydia popped up.
Lydia: I’m ready now, Ronnie. Wanna grab a coffee?
Well, thank God for my brother’s fiancé and his nine-year-old, who was probably the real reason why she was up and dressed already.
I texted her back that I would meet her at The Maple Grove Cupcakery in fifteen minutes. “You two be good,” I said, with a pat to each animal’s head, and then locked the door behind me.
I actually made it there in ten minutes, and when I walked in, Lydia was already seated at a table with a steaming latte in hand. “Cupcakery?” She asked, one brow arching from behind the white ceramic lip. “Not your normal choice for an outing.”
The place was empty except for us. I sh
rugged. “They have good espresso. And look… gluten free cupcakes!”
Lydia leveled me with a cut the shit look, which I masterfully ignored, and walked up to the counter to place my order.
“Ronnie Tripp,” Neil Evans said, flinging a tea towel over his brawny shoulder. “Hi there, stranger. What are you doing in here consorting with the enemy?”
“Hey, Neil.” I hadn’t seen him in years. Literally years. He and his family went to the private high school in Maple Grove. Rumor was, he left town without graduating… then went on to win Mr. Universe three years in a row. “What are you doing back here?”
“Helping my mom and brother keep this place afloat while Mom’s in chemo.”
I nodded. “I heard about her diagnosis. I’m so sorry.”
He waved away my sympathies. “What about you? You’re usually over there at Lex’s bakery.” He leaned forward onto the counter. “You finally coming over to the dark side?”
I laughed at that. “If the Cupcakery is the dark side of Maple Grove, I’d say our little town isn’t all that edgy.”
He wiggled his eyebrows. “It will be by the time I’m done with it. So… what can I get you?”
Neil Evans… he hadn’t changed at all since high school. “Just an Americano, please.”
He started up the espresso machine and as it filled a cup with dark brew, he took out a cupcake and handed it to me. I held out a hand and shook my head. “No thanks. It’s a little early for that much sugar.”
He wiggled the cupcake. “It’s sugar-free. I make them for my mom and usually put a couple behind the counter.” He leaned in closer, whispering, “But they never sell.”
I said a quick thank you, and took the cupcake and the Americano, sliding into the seat next to Lydia. She eyed me carefully. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
“What? Nothing. Why do you say that?”
“Because… it’s a Thursday morning and you’re sitting here having coffee with me.”
“So?”
“So… you’re a workaholic like me. A leisurely coffee date on a work day isn’t like you. Not to mention, you’ve agreed to a manicure… also not like you. You’re holding a cupcake… do I need to go on?”
I huffed a sigh and took a sip of my Americano. “No,” I grumbled. “Lex and I had our first fight,” I admitted.
“Ohhhh.” She shrugged it off in a casual way that I wished I could emulate. “Who’s at fault?”
I swallowed a gulp of my coffee. “I think I am.” No… I know I am.
Lydia sighed. “You’ll apologize. And you’ll get through it.”
“Maybe. He did text last night that he missed me.” I shrugged.
“See?” Lydia gently nudged me with her elbow. “You two will be okay.”
“I don’t know. I said some really awful things.”
“About him?”
“Indirectly. I was talking about his ex and her addiction, not being able to trust her because of her history…”
Lydia winced. “And he’s a recovering addict, too, right?”
I nodded. “The difference is he has earned all of our trust.”
“And she hasn’t…”
“Well, she’s currently in jail awaiting her trial for stealing cars.”
“Yikes,” Lydia said, making a face.
“See? It’s not just me.”
There was a long pause as we sipped our coffee. “But…” Lydia said. “We never knew Lex when he was actively using. He might have been just like she is now. Worse even… and look how great he turned out?”
I blew out a tight breath, watching the steam rising from my coffee twist and curl around itself. “Yeah. But maybe he wasn’t as bad as her.”
Lydia shrugged. “I know it sucks, but it’s not really your call here. If he wants to give her a chance to prove herself to him, to her parents, to her daughter, then your job is to be there for him. Love him. Support him. And not say I told you so if it doesn’t go well the first or second try.”
“I’m not really sure I can ever be okay with her in our lives. I know she has to be, but… it makes me so uncomfortable.” The lump lodged in my throat and white hot tears sprang to my eyes. “And the bigger problem?” I sniffed, staring at the tabletop. “Even in my own relationship, it’s like I’m not an equal partner. If Lex and I really commit, get serious, hell, even get married… what is my role with Olivia? I’m not her mom. I don’t have a say in her upbringing… yet, I’ll be the one doing all the mom things, especially if Sarah does keep falling off the wagon and landing in and out of prison.” I paused, swiping a tear from my cheek. “I’ll have all the duties of mom with none of the perks.”
Lydia’s hand slid over mine and squeezed. “I understand,” she said. “I’m not Maddie’s biological mom, either, you know?”
“Yeah, but her birth mom isn’t in the picture still. It’s not like you’re walking on eggshells, unsure of what your role is.”
“Are you kidding?” Lydia put her coffee down and tugged on my hand. “Ronnie, look at me.” I lifted my gaze to hers. “Hannah was like a supermom. And I’m a girl who can’t have children and didn’t have a maternal bone in my body before I met Cam and Maddie. I am constantly straddling that line between what’s appropriate for me to say and do and where I need to defer to Cam.”
She shook her head and her face grew blurry through the distortion of my tears. “Relationships are messy, Ronnie. Not everyone gets to marry their high school sweetheart and live happily ever after with zero fights and a white picket fence. Some of us have exes. Some of us have kids from other people, other marriages. Some of us have crazy ex-boyfriends who are stalkers.” She raised her hand in the air and pointed to herself. “And if you’re waiting for the perfect man and the perfect relationship with no baggage, then you’ll be waiting a damn long time, girl.”
“I know that,” I cried. “But what if Lex and I have children? What if this ex of his gets high around my kids someday? Or worse… what if she gets clean and then… and then Lex realizes he still loves her, and he wants her to be his family. Not me.”
“Oh,” Lydia whispered, her eyes softening. “That’s what this is about.” Her gold engagement ring pressed against the skin of my hand as she squeezed me tighter. “I see your what ifs and I raise you another… What if his ex manages to sober up and stay sober? What if she proves herself as a competent mother, giving you and Lex some nights off from raising Olivia all by yourself? What if his ex being in the picture turns out to be a good thing, not a bad thing?”
“You just said the fairy tale doesn’t always happen and now you’re telling me that she might sober up completely and become mother of the year?”
“What effed up fairy tales have you been reading that involve herion addicts and illegitimate children?”
I snorted a laugh and it was so unexpected, I nearly spat hot coffee out of my nose. “Now, that’s a Disney movie I’d love to see!”
Lydia handed me a napkin to wipe my eyes. “We can what if ourselves until we’re blue in the face. At some point, you just have to make the leap and try. There will always be another what if scenario with whomever you end up with.” She paused. “You love Lex, right?”
I nodded. “I do.”
“Then what are you waiting for? Go win him back!”
“It’s not that easy. I’d basically told him I couldn’t trust him anymore.
Lydia shook her head. “No… you told him you couldn’t trust his baby mamma… not him.”
“To Lex? It’s sort of the same thing. Because they’re both addicts.”
“That’s complicated.” Lydia sighed. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned joining the Tripp family, it’s that sometimes you need to do things simply to be a team player. Are you willing to try to trust her? And hope that she maybe surprises you?”
I blinked, staring up at Lydia. “Well… I’m not willing to lose Lex over this. Over her.”
“You know, I would kill to be able to talk with Hannah. To have k
nown her, met her, have had a conversation with her. Maybe you would feel better if you could meet Sarah?”
Warmth filled me. “That’s… that’s true. Brandon never let me see his ex-wife. Never let me talk to her or know her. She was just like this entity that he would have to split his time with.” I hopped out of my seat, pushing the lid onto my coffee cup. “I—I need to go. Will you explain to Kyra something came up?”
I didn’t even wait for Lydia to answer. I had a lot to do and I needed to get to the county jail before visiting hours ended.
34
Ronnie
Two hours later, I was sitting in the visitor’s room at the county jail. Before leaving Maple Grove, I had stopped into Latte Da to try to find Lex, only to discover from Seth that he was out for the day with Olivia. I was a bundle of nerves having to do this without seeing Lex first. But I also knew, I couldn’t wait. The longer I waited, the more risk that I would lose Lex.
My heart slammed against my chest with each rapid beat. Loud noises surrounded me…everything from buzzing door locks to garbled announcements over an intercom.
The door opened and a woman with stringy blonde hair stepped out. A guard had his hand on her elbow. She scanned the room, her brows twisted in a frown, before she looked back up at the guard and said, “I don’t know anyone out here.”
He looked at the clipboard in his hands and pointed at the small circular table where I was seated. “That one,” he said, his voice gruff.
The woman I assumed was Sarah looked me up and down before weaving through the room cautiously and sitting in the empty chair across from me. “Who the fuck are you?”
It wasn’t really said in a hostile way, but her eyes never left me. Scrutinizing. Even while blinking, she seemed to keep one eye open.
“My name is Ronnie. I’m Lex’s girlfriend.”
Her eyes widened, and for just a brief moment, I saw a raw moment of honesty and apprehension glide over her features before the tougher-than-nails mask fell right back into place. “So? What do you want with me?”
Sweet on You Page 26
