by Chiah Wilder
The face looking back at Addie from the entryway mirror appalled her: long, red marks on the left side of her cheek and neck, dried specks of blood under her eyes, tangled hair, and blotchy skin. This isn’t who I am. Covering her face with her hands, she bent her head down. A hand softly squeezed her shoulder.
Addie looked up to see Belle’s soft face reflected back at her. “Cherri’s right. Don’t beat yourself up all over again. You have to show her you’re not going to put up with her shit. This is your house and family, not hers.”
“I know, it’s just that I acted so out of line with who I am.”
“She came over here wanting to fight. You gave her what she wanted. No reason to feel bad about it.” Cherri gripped Addie’s arm and tugged her into the kitchen.
“What did she want, anyway?” Belle asked as she poured a fresh cup of coffee for Addie.
“Jack… and Chas. She’s a horrible person. She’s threatening to take me to court and undo the adoption.”
“Can she do that?” Cherri asked, passing the creamer to her.
“No, and I know that, but I still let her get under my skin.” She stirred the flavored cream into her coffee. “What really gets me is that I let her bring out my insecurities. She said Chas was checking her out and was getting tired of being with a big woman.”
“That’s nonsense. He’s with you and not her.” Belle sat across from her, reaching for her hand.
“I know, but it hit my insecurity button, especially since I never lost all the weight I gained when I was pregnant.”
“I haven’t lost all the weight I gained when I had Emily, and that was twenty years ago. Banger loves every inch of me, and that makes me feel sexy. It doesn’t matter if another guy doesn’t think I’m sexy, or some woman thinks my hips are too big. All that matters is that my man loves me just how I am and that I do too. I love my curves and the way I look in a pair of jeans.”
Cherri nodded. “You do have to love yourself, but it’s so damn hard. I’ve been working on it for years. It’s helped a lot to go to therapy, but old insecurities are hard to get rid of. I’m not sure if a person ever does. When I was in school, I was skinny as a pole with no tits, and there was a group of girls and boys who never let me forget how ugly I was. People can be so damn cruel, and when they’ve moved on, you still have all the mean things they said to you catalogued in your head. It’s hard to forget it.”
“That’s why we have each other, to remind us how wonderful we are,” Belle said.
Addie set her coffee mug down. “It’s true. It seems that together we can pull through anything. It’s like when I’m down, others are there for me, and when someone else is down, I’m there for her. I really appreciate our friendship.”
Cherri smiled. “I never had a good friend. My background is littered with shit I never want to think about, but one of the best things in my life besides Jax and Paisley is knowing I have a group of friends who really care about me, and that I can count on all of you. It means the world to me.”
“When I married Banger, I had no idea that a wonderful group of ladies was part of the biker world. And it’s great because none of my friends outside of the club really understand what living with a one-percenter is all about, but you all do.”
“Do we ever.” Addie laughed.
“I love having such a close-knit relationship with all of you. It helps me understand the love the brothers have for each other,” Belle said.
Cherri and Addie bobbed their heads in agreement. Cherri sat back and stretched her arms over her head. “I wish we could get through to Sofia,” she said softly.
“Me too,” Addie said.
“We can’t stop trying even though Tigger makes it hard by not letting her socialize that much. I talked to Banger about it, and he said that he’d tell Tigger that one of Sofia’s duties as an old lady is to help out and be active with club events. I know she wants to be a part of the group, but the sonofabitch won’t let her,” Belle replied.
“I’m so glad you talked to Banger about her, Belle. I know she wants to get out, but she’s feeling trapped. I can understand that.” Cherri cast her gaze downward.
Addie’s heart went out to her. From what Cherri had shared with them over the past few years, Addie gathered that she’d had a lot of horrible things happen to her. The fact that Cherri was still standing spoke volumes about her strength.
“We better finish up these bags. Before you know it, school will be letting out.” Belle picked up several bags from the chair next to her. “Did you all hear that stupid rumor Doris was spreading about Hawk and Cara?” Addie and Cherri shook their heads. “No? Well let me tell you what she told Cara….”
* * *
The scratch under Addie’s eye was red and swollen. Pulling open her makeup drawer, she took out her concealer and dabbed it on, wincing with each stroke. She didn’t want to field any questions from Jack, especially since she’d gone on and on about him getting into a fight at school. Groaning inwardly, she brushed on a thin layer of foundation, then examined her reflection—the welt was barely visible. A swipe of lipstick and gloss made her skin shine, and as she ran a brush through her hair, she saw Chas come up behind her.
“Thanks for picking Jack up after band practice. It took longer than I expected making up all the gift bags.”
“Especially since you took time out for a boxing match.” He nuzzled up to her.
Her shoulders curled forward. “You heard?” I asked Cherri and Belle not to say anything.
“Brianna called me, cussing up a storm. She said you decked her for no reason. Knowing you and her, I’d say she must’ve really pissed you off.”
“I can’t believe I hit her. I shouldn’t have done it, but she just touched a nerve and all reason went by the wayside.”
“It’s fine, precious. Brianna can get under your skin. Believe me, I know. I found it incredibly sexy that you defended your turf.”
“What did she say?”
“That she came over to see Jack and you went all defensive and jealous. I knew that was a crock of shit. She got super pissed when I told her that she probably deserved the beatdown you gave her.” He chuckled.
Addie moaned. “Don’t call it that.”
“Then the wallop.”
“No, it was a beatdown. I succumbed to that on the porch in front of our neighbors.”
“I fuckin’ love it.” He whirled her around and kissed her deeply.
She giggled. “Your lips wear my lipstick nicely.” Even though fighting was a part of Chas’s world, she never considered it a part of hers, so she wasn’t proud of the fact that she’d kicked Brianna’s butt. She could only imagine what would’ve happened if Cherri and Belle hadn’t been there to break it up. “She said she’s going to take me to court.”
“She’s not gonna do shit. She’s always had a big fuckin’ mouth. I told her she’s not to come over to our house ever again.”
“I mean, if Jack wants contact with her, I don’t want to forbid it.”
“Jack doesn’t want anything to do with her. She was a shitty mom and he knows it. He adores you, and he’s been happy ever since she went away and you came into our lives. She’s just doing this shit because she thinks it’s gonna get her and me back together. That’ll never happen, babe. You’re stuck with me for life.”
“And you’re stuck with me.” Placing her hand on the back of his neck, she drew him close and kissed him deeply.
“Let’s take the kids and go out to dinner,” he said as he cupped her ass.
“I can’t. Tonight’s ladies’ night out, remember?”
“Fuck, I forgot.”
“I made a casserole and salad for you and the kids. You just need to warm it up and put some dressing on the salad.”
“I’m gonna miss you.”
“I won’t be late. Make sure Jack finishes his book report.”
“Okay. You wearing a new perfume?” Chas tugged her to him.
“I bought a gingerbread latt
e spray at the drugstore. It was cheap, but I really like it.”
“So do I.” Chas began to slip his hand under her top. “You smell good enough to eat.”
Addie smiled while gently pushing him away. “I have to get going.”
Nipping her neck, he said, “You can’t leave me like this.” Taking her hand, he put it on his erection.
Shaking her head, she chuckled. “We can have some fun later on, but I have to go.” She swept her lips across his, then turned back to the mirror to reapply her lipstick.
On her way out, she gave Chas the instructions for heating up the casserole, told Jack to finish his homework, and kissed Hope goodbye. She opened the garage door and the icy air swirled around her. Cranking up the heater in the car, she backed out and headed to the restaurant.
Country Kitchen was a newer restaurant that served home-style cooking with a Southern accent. Delectable fried chicken and melt-in-your-mouth buttermilk biscuits were what kept diners waiting over an hour for a table.
Entering the eatery, Addie was grateful for the roaring fire in the brick fireplace filling the back wall. The smoky scent from the logs blended with the warm hickory aroma seeping from the kitchen. Framed paintings of rolling hills, small shelves stacked with homemade preserves and spices, and random farming tools adorned the wood-paneled walls. Blue gingham tablecloths gave a pop of color under the low lighting from brass lanterns that hung from overhead wood beams.
Addie saw Clotille, standing up and waving at a large table toward the back of the packed restaurant. She waved back and went over to the table, joining Cara, Belle, Cherri, Baylee, Kimber, Kylie, and Bernie.
“Long time no see.” Belle smiled.
The women ordered several bottles of chardonnay and toasted each other on getting everything together for the upcoming fundraiser. They placed their dinner orders and settled back. After the day Addie’d had, she guzzled her wine and refilled her glass. Turning to Baylee, she asked, “Has Axe come around to having a baby?”
“A little. He’s not as sulky as he’s been, and he mentioned we should probably move out of the apartment. It’s not like he’s ecstatic and beaming all the time, but he’s beginning to talk about it. That’s good, right?”
“It’s huge, especially for a young guy who didn’t expect to have a baby. Add in the outlaw factor and he’s definitely coming around,” Belle replied. The other women murmured their agreement.
Kylie picked up her wineglass. “I’m in a different situation. Lately, all Jerry can talk about is wanting a baby. Actually, several babies. We agreed we’d wait before we started a family. I’m not that old, and I really don’t want a baby right now. I do want a family, but I’m only twenty-three and I have time. I want to finish grad school and teach for a while before starting a family.”
“Did you tell Jerry that?” Baylee asked.
“Yeah, but it’s like he doesn’t hear me,” Kylie said.
“That’s a man for you,” Kimber added. Sniggers circled around the table.
“The thing is I’m not sure if he’s saying he wants to start a family because he really does or because he wants me to quit school. My gut’s telling me it’s all about my studies. He was cool when I was in college, but me being in grad school has sorta flipped him out. It’s like he’s threatened by it. I don’t know. It’s weird.”
“A lot of men are threatened by the unknown. Maybe he’s afraid you’ll go in a different direction from him, meeting new people, and the two of you will drift apart,” Cara said.
The waitress placed a plate of steaming fried chicken in front of Kylie. Her blue eyes lit up. “Yum… this smells delicious. I’ll be hitting the gym harder tomorrow, but tonight, calories don’t exist.”
“Amen,” Bernie agreed as she picked up a chicken leg.
All the women but Cherri ordered fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and baskets of biscuits. Cherri opted for the pot roast and a side salad.
Addie wiped the corners of her mouth with a napkin. “This is awesome. Good choice of restaurants, Clotille.”
“When we came here for dinner, we were blown away. Rock and Andrew said it was the best fried chicken they’d had since they moved west. I had to agree with them. I have to admit that we come here a bit too often.”
Kylie looked ready to burst before she blurted, “I’m not sure how to handle Jerry’s insecurity about me and school. He’s been accusing me of being bored with him and wanting a guy who’s gone to college. He tells me I never have time for him anymore. I try and juggle everything, but it’s damn hard. It’ll be cool during the winter break, but when school starts back up, it’s tough to party all the time. Grad school is a million times harder than college, and he just doesn’t get it. And my dad getting in his face about it didn’t help.”
“The minute your father told me you were upset, I knew he’d get in Jerry’s face.” Belle shook her head.
“He knew what he was getting into,” Kimber said, pouring wine into Addie’s, Cara’s, and her wineglass.
“I know, but I wish my dad would back off a little. It just causes more friction between me and Jerry.” Kylie frowned.
“Then don’t tell Banger about it,” Bernie offered.
“Easier said than done. My dad knows when I’m upset. He knows me too well. Besides, I’m not sure how to convince Jerry that I don’t want anyone but him. I love him so much. Why can’t he see that?”
“He does, but a man likes to feel like they’re the first focus in their woman’s life. Sometimes life gets in the way, like problems with the kids, work, school, whatever, and we become so focused on those issues that we don’t realize we’re not in tune as much as we should be with our man. Take a break from your studies and plan a romantic evening where Jerry has your undivided attention,” Clotille answered.
Kimber nodded. “Clotille is so right. When I became manager of Hawk’s shop, Throttle was such a pain in the ass about it. I had to pull in some late hours, and he was feeling like I wasn’t as into him as I used to be. So I told Hawk that I had to leave early two nights a week, and he was cool with it. When Throttle came home from work and found me wearing nothing but knee-high boots and a thong, he forgot about everything that’d been bugging him. He was just so happy that I’d made it a priority to come home early just for him. The whole night was all about him, and he fuckin’ loved it. I still surprise him on my early nights. It keeps him guessing and eager to get home.”
Bernie bobbed her head. “I’ve been hitched to PJ for twenty-five years. We hooked up when I was eighteen, had four kids, and have had a rough-and-tumble life with a lot of fucking and loving. Men think they got all the control, but it’s really the women. You just have to let a man think he’s calling the shots, and make him feel special in a way that has him running to get between your legs, forgetting all about them club whores. It also helps to let him know you’ll castrate him if you find out his dick was in anyone else’s pussy but yours.” She cackled.
“You’re so bad, but so right.” Belle laughed.
“Changing the subject, I’m scared to death to open the curtains and show off our Christmas tree. It’s fuckin’ ridiculous.” Cherri crossed her arms.
“I don’t blame you. I’d be terrified too. Has Jax found out anything about the guy?” Addie asked, buttering her biscuit.
“No, and it’s killing him that he can’t. I just make sure the alarm is on at all times when Paisey and I are alone in the house. This whole Christmas vendetta this fuckin’ psycho has is the freakiest thing I’ve ever heard of.”
As the evening wound down, they talked about the toy drive and how happy they were when Evan had contacted Cara, telling her the event was sold out. They’d hoped to double the amount they’d raised the previous year, and they were well on their way.
They said their goodbyes in the parking lot and climbed into their cars to head home to their men. While Addie waited for the defroster to clear her windshield, she leaned back and hummed the chorus to “Jingle Be
lls.” A sense of weightlessness settled over her as it always did after one of their ladies’ nights out. The friendship she had with the other old ladies was the kind that bloomed in the center of the heart. They all knew they could get together and spin their hearts out without worry of judgment or mockery. They gave each other advice, shoulders to cry on, and the warm feeling of belonging.
Ping. She looked down at her phone and swiped.
Chas: U coming home soon? Hope & Jack r in bed.
A large grin broke over her face.
Addie: On my way now.
Chas: Drive safe.
Addie: See u soon. ♥
She sat up, placed her hands on the steering wheel, and drove out of the parking lot, heading home as fast yet safely as she could.
When she came into the living room, a full glass of white wine and a glass of whiskey were on the side table. In front of the dancing fire was a large Sherpa blanket, and playing softly through the stereo speakers was her favorite CD—a collection of ballads from Guns N’ Roses, Poison, Metallica, Avenged Sevenfold, Iron Maiden, Pantera, and Killswitch Engage.
“What’s this?” she asked as Chas came into the room and headed over to her. He nuzzled his face into her neck and she cocked her head to the side, giving him better access.
“Picking up where we left off.” He licked the inside of her ear with the tip of his tongue.
“I’m glad you didn’t forget,” she said, shivering as she let him guide her down on the blanket.
“That’s all I thought about,” he replied huskily, his eyes fixed on her mouth.
She stroked the side of his face and brought hers closer to his. When their lips met, an electrifying current skipped across all her nerves.
Pulling away, she held his gaze as she slowly lifted her top over her head.
“Fuck,” he growled as her sheer bra came into view.
The side of her mouth tugged into a smile as she reached back and unsnapped her bra, letting it fall from her. The exposure to the air made her nipples harden. When he dipped his head and sucked one of them into his mouth, she closed her eyes and let herself feel the arousal taking hold of her body.
