by Kate L. Mary
What they were doing finally hit me, and I let out a deep breath. My legs wobbled, and I only managed to stop myself from sinking to the ground by holding onto the desk. I should punch Kellan for scaring the shit out of me like this, even if he wasn’t really to blame. He had no way of knowing I’d wake up and assume Andrew and his men had come back to exact their revenge.
Although, maybe he should have.
I left the control room and climbed the stairs to the small cement building on the surface. The door, usually closed, was open, and the early morning sun filled the small room, along with the heat from the summer morning. It couldn’t be much later than seven—I hadn’t bothered to check the clock in my condo before leaving—but already it was sweltering, and I stepped outside to find the sky clear of clouds and crystal blue, like images I’d seen of the ocean in the Caribbean.
In the distance, the wind turbine spun, aided by the Oklahoma wind whipping across the dusty landscape. Here, no storm didn’t mean no wind, and as it roared, it brought dust with it, stinging my eyes until they watered.
The gritty taste of dirt filled my mouth, but I barely noticed as I lifted my hand to my forehead, trying to shield my eyes from both the sun and the dirt as I watched Cade and Kellan. They worked together, dragging a body toward the truck so they could throw it in with the rest.
Some of the dead were Andrew’s men, killed yesterday when we tried to stop them from taking Harper, but there were others, too. Zombies who’d wandered in, drawn by the sound of gunfire and had no doubt been taken out by Cade and Kellan this morning.
I spotted a small pile of random items outside the fence and headed over to check them out. Some leather jackets—always useful—boots, guns, knives, and even a couple pairs of sunglasses. It looked like the guys had freed Andrew’s men of anything we might need before hauling their bodies away. I felt a little like a buzzard when we picked through the belongings of the dead, but these days it was necessary. We couldn’t afford to be squeamish about scavenging anything we could find.
The metallic thud of a body being tossed into the truck pulled my attention away from the supplies, and I looked up to find Kellan’s brown eyes focused on me. He had a red handkerchief wrapped around his head, covering his nose and mouth and making him look like he was about to hold up a bank in an old western movie. Most of his face was blocked from view, but the glint in his brown eyes was loud and clear as he looked me over, and heat crept up my neck at the expression.
The blushing was getting old, as was I, but at this point there was nothing I could do about it. It was a chronic problem and had been a constant source of teasing when I was younger—by Kellan, especially—but it was out of my control. I’d thought I’d grow out of it, but unfortunately, I hadn’t, and no matter what I did, my face flushed at the slightest hint of emotion. I could be happy, I could be sad, I could be feeling a million other things, but no matter what I did, my emotions always chose to manifest themselves in the form of a flush spreading across my cheeks.
Like now, staring at the man I’d slept with last night, remembering how our bodies had fit together, how he’d told me he loved me. How his kiss and touch had made it seem like nothing bad could ever happen to us. I wasn’t embarrassed by the memory—if anything, I was excited and ready for a repeat—but thanks to the red spreading across my cheeks at this very moment, anyone looking at me would think I was mortified.
“You scared me,” I called.
Kellan shoved his hand through his dark hair, and for once it stayed off his forehead, which probably had more to do with how sweaty he was than a sign that it had finally decided to obey him. “Scared you?”
“Yeah.” I put my hands on the metal fence separating us, curling my fingers through the openings. “You were gone when I woke up.”
“Did you think it was a one-night stand?” Cade called from behind Kellan.
I rolled my eyes. “No, but no one was in the control room either, and with everything going on…” I shrugged, trying to pretend a lump hadn’t formed in my throat.
“Sorry.” Kellan looked over his shoulder, back toward the bodies still littered across the dusty ground. “We have a few more to clean up, and then we’ll be coming inside to plan our next move.”
“You’re not going to drive them somewhere else?”
Usually when we gathered the dead like this, we drove them far away from the shelter to dump them. Leaving the bodies outside the fence would stink the place up and run the risk of attracting pests like flies and birds who didn’t mind picking rotten meat off the bones of the dead. Burning or burying them would have been the respectful thing to do—zombie or not, they had been people once upon a time—but we’d decided long ago that we couldn’t waste our energy digging holes every time we took out the dead, and starting a fire might draw the attention of people. Which was the last thing we wanted to do.
“We will,” Kellan said, “but we want to wait. There’s a possibility we could use them as a distraction.”
When we went to get Harper.
He didn’t say it, but that was what he meant. We knew where Andrew and his men were most likely holding her because we’d gone there just yesterday to get Kellan, and we had the element of surprise since there had only been two guys there at the time. We’d killed both of them before leaving, meaning they hadn’t gotten the chance to tell their friends we knew where their hideout was.
Despite the element of surprise, I wasn’t stupid, and neither was anyone else, and we knew it was going to be risky. They had us outnumbered, and Andrew wasn’t above sacrificing his own men. I’d watched him shoot one in the head just yesterday. Still, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if we didn’t try to save Harper, and I knew Kellan felt the same way, especially since he was the one who’d given her up.
She hadn’t been with us long, only since spring, but she was a kid. She needed our help, and leaving her would be wrong, more wrong than anything else we’d done since the apocalypse began. I wasn’t about to turn into someone who only thought about myself. There was too much of that already. Too much evil. Too many people who used others and tossed them away once they’d gotten everything they needed out of them.
Kellan and Cade went back to work, heaving the bodies off the ground so they could lug them toward the truck and toss them in with the others. I stayed where I was inside the gate, knowing Kellan wouldn’t want me out there even though there was nothing dangerous around. After what had almost happened yesterday, I was willing to humor his overprotectiveness—at least for the time being.
The truck groaned when they threw the last body in, rocking with the weight of the long-dead man, and even as far away as I was, I could hear the buzz of flies as they circled the bodies, anxious for a chance to dive in. My stomach rolled just from thinking about it.
Cade headed back toward the fence, ripping the handkerchief away from his mouth, while behind him Kellan slammed the tailgate. He left the truck where it was, baking under the hot sun, and jogged after Cade. When he, too, had ripped the red cloth from his face, he smiled, and the dimple in his left cheek that I loved so much deepened.
I pushed the gate open when they got close. The sun shone off Cade’s white-blond hair when he paused to grab the pile of stuff they’d scavenged from the bodies, and when he passed me, he gave a nod, but Kellan paused at my side.
“Hey,” I whispered, staring up at him as heat once again crept up my neck. This time, it didn’t stay contained to my face, but spread through me, warming my insides in a way even the sun hadn’t been able to.
Kellan was dirty and sweaty, and his shirt stuck to his chest like a second layer of skin while the odor of death clung to him, which was unavoidable after what he’d just done, but I didn’t care. Not when he leaned down and brushed his lips against mine.
I grabbed the hem of his shirt, trying to pull him closer, my lips still inches from his when I said, “I was sad when I woke up alone.”
“I didn’t want to leave the bed.�
� He reached up so he could tuck my hair behind my ear. “But Cade and I wanted to head out early so we could get the car and truck.”
I looked away over my shoulder long enough to see that the car was once again parked in front of the shelter.
“You walked there?”
I knew they had. It was the only way they would’ve been able to make the five-mile trip back to the farmhouse to rescue the vehicles, and the thought of Kellan out on the road after everything that had happened yesterday filled me with dread even though he’d made it back okay. I was also irritated that he hadn’t told me he was leaving.
“It had to happen,” he said.
“Don’t you think you should’ve let me know you were going?”
Kellan’s mouth turned down. “I didn’t think about it.”
“Are you serious?” The euphoria of being in his presence melted away, replaced by annoyance, and I took a step back. “Did Cade tell Emma?”
“She was on watch, so she was there when we left.” Kellan actually shrugged like it was no big deal.
“What if I left in the middle of the night and didn’t tell you where I was going?”
“Regan, we didn’t leave in the middle of the night. It was—”
“That’s not the point, Kellan!” I threw my hands up in exasperation. “Anything could happen these days. What if you never came back? How do you think that would make me feel? Especially after yesterday!” Once again, heat rushed to my face, but with it came tears I tried to blink back. “You would be furious if I left and didn’t tell you. Admit it.”
He pressed his lips together before letting out a deep sigh. “Okay, you’re right, I should have told you.” Kellan put his hands on my shoulders. “I’m sorry, okay? I wasn’t thinking about it like that. I was only thinking about how we needed to get the vehicles before the sun came up so we could stay ahead of Andrew, and I definitely didn’t want you there.”
That was the real reason he hadn’t told me. He’d been afraid I would want to go, and after yesterday, after what had happened at the farmhouse with Andrew and his men, Kellan didn’t want me out there.
“Forgive me?” he asked.
“Of course.” I lifted myself up on the tips of my toes so I could press my lips to his. “I understand you want me safe, but that doesn’t mean keeping me in the dark. I hated it before, and now that we’re—” I broke off, unsure of what to say.
“Now that we’re…” Kellan’s grin returned, deepening his dimple once again until his brown eyes sparkled with the boyish mischief I loved so much. “Are you having a stroke or something?”
“No.” I rolled my eyes. “We haven’t talked about it much, and I don’t know what we are. I mean, boyfriend and girlfriend? It sounds so stupid when you put it like that.”
“Shacking up? Doing it?” Kellan said in a teasing voice.
I shoved him. “Nice.”
He chuckled as he pulled me against him, and I didn’t resist even if he was sweaty and smelled like he’d wrestled a horde of zombies. “You are too cute.”
2
Back inside the shelter, we found the others gathered in the common area. We were a depressingly small group now, just Emma and Cade, Blake, Kellan and me. That was it. There was a time when we’d had twenty-three survivors living here, and I couldn’t help wondering how we’d gotten to this point. We’d started off with so many people and had been so strong. Plus, living in this luxury shelter, we’d had more advantages than most people these days, and yet here we were, on the brink of disappearing.
How had we allowed ourselves to get this disconnected from everything happening in the world?
Emma was standing beside the couch where Blake was sprawled out, her wavy brown hair piled on top of her head, while Cade checked him over. The bump on his head more prominent than yesterday, but I was thankful to see he seemed more alert. He’d been unconscious for so long after Andrew’s goon hit him in the head that I’d started to worry there might be some permanent damage.
“How are you feeling?” I asked.
When he turned his hazel green eyes on me, the bright ceiling lights made him squint. For once Blake wasn’t wearing the raggedy red hat he adored so much, and his messy dark hair for some reason reminded me of a little boy who’d just rolled out of bed.
“Better, for the most part.” Blake’s hand went to the bump on his head, and he winced when his fingers probed it. “Although I have a killer headache.”
“You can take the next couple days to rest up,” Kellan said.
Blake’s hand was still on his head when he frowned. “I thought we were going to get Harper?”
“We are.” Cade didn’t look at our injured friend as he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. “You aren’t.”
He smoothed it out on the coffee table, and the lines Jasper had drawn only yesterday came into view, as well as his slightly tilted letters. It was the map he’d made before we went to rescue Kellan, back when I thought the worst had happened. Now, with the grief over Jasper’s death clawing at my throat, I knew I’d been wrong.
“I can help,” Blake complained.
“Forget it,” Kellan snapped, using the tone he typically reserved for bossing me around. “There’s no way in hell you’re going out there.”
“He’s right.” Cade didn’t look up from the map. “You have a serious head injury.”
Emma gnawed on her bottom lip, looking between Cade, her new boyfriend, and Blake, her ex.
After a second, she said, “I think I should stay, too.”
All eyes snapped her way.
“Someone has to keep an eye on him,” she began, “and we have the shelter to think about. What if there’s trouble, and Blake’s too injured to do anything about it?”
“Shit,” Kellan muttered under his breath. “She’s right.”
Cade was nodding, his mouth pressed together, and when he looked up, he focused on Kellan. “Can we really do this?”
“We’re doing it,” I snapped.
“Let’s be realistic for a minute.” Cade lifted his hands, motioning for me to calm down. “There are three of us. Andrew has at least six men, and zombies.”
“We have the element of surprise.” I lifted my chin like a stubborn child arguing with her parents, but I refused to back down. What kind of people would we be if we did? “I promised Jasper.”
At my side, Kellan blew out a long breath. “This is bad.”
“I know,” Cade said. “Even worse, we can’t risk waiting until dark. They could make a move any time, so the sooner we go, the better.”
Silence followed the statement, only broken when I knelt next to the table and pulled the map toward me. On it, Jasper had written directions to the wildlife refuge, as well as drawn a detailed sketch of the area surrounding the Holy City. There was a big X where we’d parked the first time we went, but I focused on the area surrounding it, studying the mountains and hills and roads.
“Here.” I tapped my finger against the paper. “We park here this time. We’ll have to hike farther, but the odds of Andrew and his men seeing us will be small. It’s too far away from the chapel they’re using as shelter.”
“Yeah,” Kellan mumbled.
He’d come up behind me and was leaning forward so he could look at the map over my shoulder, and he was close enough that the heat from his body seemed to wrap around me. Every time he exhaled, his warm breath brushed my neck, sending tingles shooting through me, and I had to work to keep my eyes on the map and think about the plan. Otherwise, I’d end up replaying last night, and fantasizing about next time.
“That could work,” Cade said.
I stayed quiet while the two guys thought it through. It was the best plan of action given our circumstances, but Kellan and Cade were going to have to come to that conclusion on their own. I’d tried forcing my opinions on Kellan before. It had never ended well, and I wasn’t stupid enough to think that would change because we’d slept together.
At least not
while I was actually dressed. If I happened to be naked, maybe he’d listen, but that was an experiment best left for later.
Once Kellan reached the decision that I was right, he leaned forward and tapped his index finger against the map. “So we come in this way and dump some of the bodies here and set them on fire.” He tapped the paper again, his nail drumming against the wood, then traced the road Jasper had drawn. “And another pile here. That way we have fires going in two different places.”
“Won’t that make Andrew suspicious?” I looked from Kellan to Cade.
“It could, but most likely he’ll think someone is in the area and will want to check it out, especially if he’s still interested in finding immune people. It will seem like an easy target,” Kellan said. “Two fires will have them looking in two different directions and split them up.”
“Yeah.” Cade was nodding in agreement, his eyes still focused on the map. “It’s a solid plan and about the only thing we can do at this point.”
He blew out a long breath and looked up, his blue eyes focusing on Emma, and although neither of them said anything, we all knew what they were thinking. Cade was happy she wasn’t going, while she was wondering how she would handle having no clue what was going on out there. I couldn’t imagine. Even before Kellan and I admitted our feelings for one another, I never slept well when he was gone, and I’d been out of my mind with worry the time he and Cade got stuck at the farmhouse for three days. More than once I’d begged Jasper to go get him, but we were bound by protocol.
“When do we leave?” I asked when the silence had dragged out for what I thought was too long.
Cade sucked in a deep breath like he was gathering his strength. “An hour?”
“Sounds good.” Kellan stood, pulling me with him. “I know taking a shower is stupid when we’re just going to be dragging the bodies back out of the truck, but I’d still like to.”
I smiled up at him, ignoring the heat creeping across my cheeks. “Is that an invitation?”
