by Kate L. Mary
“No.”
I suddenly found myself speechless. He’d told me that before, when we first admitted our feelings for one another, but I hadn’t thought he meant always. Not really.
“Yes.” He uncrossed his arms and grabbed my hips, pulling me against him, his hands holding me in place so I couldn’t wiggle away and his gaze boring into mine. “Even when we were kids. You’d follow Matt and me around, and he’d get so irritated. I’d pretend I was irritated, too, but I wasn’t.”
“I was so much younger than you,” I said, my voice barely over a whisper as the memories from all those years ago came rushing back. All the teasing comments and looks. Kellan had liked me all the way back then?
“Three years,” he said. “Not that young. Plus, I used to think about asking you out for real when we were older. Where we’d go on our first date.”
It had been a while since I’d taken the time to really think about everything I’d lost, but standing with Kellan now, I did, and I also found myself thinking about what would have happened if the virus had never hit. I imagined him picking me up for a date, opening the door for me, getting brave enough to hold my hand. Or kiss me goodnight.
If that reality had happened instead of this one, we would have gone to the prom together, walked down the halls of our old high school holding hands. We would have had make out sessions in the back seat of his car on weekends, and I could even imagine what our first time sleeping together would have been like in that world. It would have been in his room after school during those few hours of freedom before his parents got home from work. It probably would have been rushed and maybe a little awkward, but it would have been sweet, too, because it was Kellan.
Maybe we would have gone to the same college, and even gotten married. Maybe one day we would have had a house of our own in Altus and kids. If not for the virus, there would have been a world of opportunity for us, opportunities I couldn’t begin to envision, moments even my imagination couldn’t conjure up. But no matter what, it would still have been Kellan and me. A different world and a different place, but still us, and that was what mattered. Despite everything that had happened and everything we’d lost, one thing hadn’t changed. We’d still ended up together. Almost like it had been written in the stars.
“What are you thinking?” he asked when I didn’t say anything.
I pressed my lips against his, and his arms slid around me, holding my body tight against his like he understood exactly what I was trying to say.
After a few seconds, I broke the kiss and said, “I was thinking that it doesn’t matter how this started or where we end up. The important thing is that we’re together.”
“We’ll always be together,” he said.
I closed my eyes and rested my head against his chest, reveling in that reality. Yes, we would always be together.
We spent hours fishing. The sun was hot, but there was a shallow area close to where we set up, making it possible to wade into the water and even cool off a little. It was relaxing, being out of the shelter and in nature again, enjoying the sun and friends, and making a new one.
Christine had been reserved with pretty much everyone but Blake over the last two months—the sparks were undeniable—but I was determined to get to know her.
“So, your dad was a C-17 pilot?” I asked as I cast my line.
“He was.” Christine’s already big smile widened. “Just like Blake.”
“Funny, right?” he said. “Even if this whole thing hadn’t happened, we could have still ended up together.”
“You are together, then?” I asked even though they didn’t seem to be trying very hard to deny, or hide, anything.
Blake looked at Christine, who shrugged.
“We haven’t exactly put a label on it,” she said, “but I think we’re both enjoying one another’s company.”
“Couldn’t have said it better,” Blake replied.
His smile was infectious, and my cheeks were aching when I said, “Good for you.”
“It’s not like the dating pool is very big.” Christine elbowed him playfully. “But I think I got lucky.”
Blake gave her a little wink. “You might still get lucky if you play your cards right.”
“I think we can all agree that you’re the lucky one,” Kellan called from where he stood a few feet away, dutifully watching his line for any sign of a bite.
Blake laughed. “Can’t deny that.”
It was the first time since he and Emma split up that I could see some of the old Blake. His smile reached his eyes, and his laugh was as carefree as it had been in the early years, before the fighting between him and Emma got bad. It was nice, seeing him on the way to being happy again, and it had me thinking about the vision I’d had of an alternate future where Kellan and I had gotten married and had kids.
Some of that could still happen, I realized. Marriage wasn’t necessarily a thing of the past—a piece of paper wasn’t essential to commit yourself to someone—and who said we couldn’t have kids? We could have children and a life, and we could build something real, and our kids wouldn’t be alone. There were Emma and Cade, and now Blake and Christine. Then there was Becky and Thomas, and who knew what other couples would pop up one day.
Kellan reeled in his line and moved closer to where I stood, watching Blake and Christine, my smile practically cutting my face in half.
“What are you grinning about?” Kellan asked after a moment.
I shrugged, and as usual, my cheeks warmed. “Nothing.”
“Something has your brain working.” He looked toward the others, who were laughing as they tried to free a fish from their line so it could join the others we’d caught in the cooler. “Is it them?”
“And us.”
“You’re not going to suggest we become swingers, are you? Because I’m not going to lie, I’m not interested in sleeping with anyone but you.”
I snorted and gave him a playful shove. “No, gross. Blake is like a brother.”
“Okay, good.” Kellan let out a laugh that shook his shoulders. “What, then?”
“I was just thinking about the future and what it might be like.”
He looked from Blake to me like he was trying to decipher my meaning. “You lost me.”
“Don’t you ever think about what comes next? I mean—”
I looked to where my fishing line disappeared in the water, suddenly nervous about bringing this up. We’d never talked about the future for real, not like this, and bringing up kids… Was it too soon? We’d been together for less than two months, but it was Kellan and me. We weren’t the same as Blake and Christine. They’d just met. I’d known Kellan forever.
“Regan,” he said when I didn’t speak again, “tell me what you’re thinking.”
I ventured a look up and found his intense brown eyes focused on me. “Do you want kids?”
He blinked, and his expression was unreadable when he said, “That wasn’t what I expected you to say at all.”
“I mean—” Heat rushed to my face, and I shook my head. “Forget it. It’s stupid.”
I started to turn away, but he grabbed my arm with his free hand. “It’s not stupid, it’s just not what I expected.”
“What did you expect?” I couldn’t look at him, so I once again focused on the water.
“I thought you were going to ask if I wanted to get married.”
My head jerked up. “You thought I was going to propose to you?”
“No.” He chuckled again. “I just thought you were thinking about the two of us getting married.”
I gnawed on my lip, trying to figure out what he was thinking, but he was impossible to get a read on. “It seems kind of silly now, doesn’t it?”
“Not to me.” Kellan only had one free hand since the other one was holding a fishing rod, but he used it to grab one of my belt loops and pull me closer to him. “I plan on marrying you, Regan. I’ve planned on marrying you since I was fourteen years old.”
This time when
heat flooded my cheeks, it was because his mouth had closed over mine.
20
It had to be getting close to dinnertime when we packed up the fishing gear and headed back to the car. We were laughing and relaxed, even Kellan, who carried the cooler stuffed with fish—something everyone back in the shelter would be thrilled to see. The brush tickled my legs even through my pants as we walked, reminding me of our last hike—the day we’d rescued Harper from Andrew’s men—and how adamant Kellan had been afterward about scouring my body for ticks.
“We’ll have to do another tick check when we get home,” I said, shooting him a wink.
“Oh, I know.” His dimples deepened, and his brown eyes flashed with the mischievous look I knew so well. “I’ve been thinking about it all day.”
“What have I told you two about keeping it PG-13?” Blake grumbled.
“Hey,” Kellan said, trying to sound innocent and failing miserably, “I’m just looking out for her health. Ticks are serious.”
At Blake’s side, Christine laughed and elbowed him lightly. “He has a point. I might need some help later, if you’re available.”
Blake cleared his throat as he pulled his hat lower. “I’ll have to see if I can clear up my schedule.”
I snorted. “I’m sure you’re just swamped.”
The brim of his hat cast a shadow across his face, but it couldn’t hide his smile.
We reached the car and loaded up, putting the fishing gear in the trunk but the cooler in the back. Christine and Blake were going to have to get up close and personal on the ride home, but something told me they weren’t going to care. They hadn’t been overly touchy-feely during the day, but the sidelong glances said it all. There would be lots of touching later.
Kellan had just slammed the trunk when footsteps scraped against the ground, and on instinct, I pulled my gun as I turned toward the sound. Beside me, Kellan did the same, and even though they were behind me and I couldn’t see them, I had no doubt that Christine and Blake were as ready as we were.
There was a figure in the distance, a good twenty feet off. Not a zombie, but a man. He was walking toward us—alone, as far as I could tell—heading down the road from who knew where, but I couldn’t imagine where he was coming from or where he’d been since there wasn’t much out this way. Plus, he wasn’t exactly put together.
His gray hair was long and scraggily, knotted in places and matted like it hadn’t been washed in months. His beard, too, was long, reaching the middle of his chest, and streaked in brown—it was hard to tell if it was dirt or dried blood, but whatever it was, it was thick and had been there for a while. Under the layer of dust, his skin was burnt, blistered in places and peeling away, especially on his scalp, which was visible through the thin fibers still clinging to his head. He looked like he’d been traveling under the hot sun for months—or longer.
Kellan stepped in front of me, his gun out and ready, and unlike the other times he’d shielded me from zombies, I didn’t try to talk him out of it.
“You okay?” he called out hesitantly.
Behind me, Blake whispered to Christine, “Stay back.”
“Hello?” Kellan called when there was no response.
The man kept moving, barely lifting his feet when he walked, the bottoms of his worn boots scraping against the pavement and making a scratching sound that seemed louder than a gunshot amidst the silence surrounding us.
“What the hell?” Blake muttered.
“I don’t know.” Kellan took a step toward the man. “Sir, are you okay?”
“Okay,” the man repeated in a raspy voice. “Okay.”
He was still a good five feet away from us when he stopped and crouched, reminding me of an animal on alert. His knees were wide apart, and his right hand rested on the ground between them, keeping him balanced, while his other hand went to his beard. He pulled at it until wisps of wiry hair broke free and dropped to the ground, all the while staring at us with bloodshot eyes that could only be described as feral. They crackled, and his pupils dilated until the gray irises were barely visible.
“Do you understand me?” Kellan took a hesitant step.
His gun was out, as was mine, but neither of us had them up. Blake, too, was armed, but not in a defensive stance, and behind him, Christine looked more confused than scared. I understood, because despite the wild look in the man’s eyes, he didn’t seem like a threat. He was too small, too malnourished, too bony to be a danger to anyone except possibly himself.
“He’s out of his mind,” Blake murmured behind me.
At his words, the man tilted his head the way animals did when they were studying you, and the hair on my scalp prickled.
There was something very wrong with this man.
“Kellan,” I said, reaching for him, “maybe you should stay back.”
He ignored me and took another step. “Are you hurt? Is there something we can do to help you?”
The man bared his teeth seconds before making a move, and when he jumped, Kellan was only three feet away. It caught him off guard, and his gun was still down when the man’s body slammed into his. They went down, the man on top of Kellan when they hit the ground, almost like he really was a wild animal. I let out a scream, and behind me Blake swore, and Christine gasped. I had my gun up, but Kellan and the man were struggling, moving around too much, and the bright rays from the sun were blinding, making getting a good shot impossible. I could hit Kellan.
“Shit,” Kellan muttered.
In no time, he managed to gain the upper hand and flipped the man over so he was now on the ground and Kellan was on top. Relief washed over me, but this thing—whatever it was—wasn’t over yet. The crazy man was on his back, being held down, but he was still thrashing. He was also growling like a zombie or an animal, or even a crazy person. That was what he was, I realized. He was mad. Out of his mind. Insane from the sun or starvation, or something else.
“Stop fighting,” Kellan grunted as he tried to subdue the man. “I don’t want to hurt you. I’m just trying to help.”
The man growled again, and his head snapped up, and I watched in helpless horror as his teeth sank into Kellan’s forearm.
He let out a howl of pain and ripped his arm from the man’s jaws. His face and beard were covered in dark red blood, mixing with the brown already streaked through the wiry hair. Kellan had stumbled back, away from the man, and held his arm against his chest, his brown eyes wide with shock as blood dripped onto the sandy ground.
It all happened so fast—in the blink of an eye—but at the same time seemed to be happening in slow motion, so by the time I moved, I wasn’t sure if a second or an hour had passed.
“Kellan!” I rushed forward, my free hand reaching for him while the other held my gun. “Are you okay? Blake, help!”
Behind me Blake said, “Son of a bitch.”
Before either of us could reach him, the man was on the move, pushing himself up and lunging once again. He didn’t make it far before Kellan’s fist made contact with the crazy guy’s nose, sending him flying back. The crunch of breaking bone was loud, but the guy seemed impervious to pain. He was up again in a second, growling as he moved for Kellan, snapping his teeth like he was trying to get another bite out of him.
Kellan stumbled farther back, giving me a clear shot, but I hesitated, unsure if killing him was necessary. He was crazy, he’d taken a bite out of Kellan, but did that mean putting a bullet in his head was justified? How dangerous was he, really?
I was still trying to decide what to do when the man turned on me. He was crawling, scrambling to get to his feet, growling like a wild dog, but he only made it a foot before a gunshot rang through the air. My entire body jerked like I was the one who’d been shot, and in front of me, the man dropped to the ground.
“Holy shit,” Blake said.
Behind the now lifeless man, Kellan stood with his gun still raised and his eyes focused on the motionless body. His shoulders heaved as blood ran down his ar
m and dripped onto the ground. It was the sight of the blood that finally snapped me out of it.
“Kellan!” I rushed to his side and urged the gun from his hand. “Let me see it.”
He swore under his breath when I touched the bite. “Bastard. I didn’t think he was a threat.”
“Neither did I,” I said as I studied the wound.
“Man, he got you good,” Blake said, coming up beside me.
The bite was on Kellan’s forearm and it was deep, as deep as my own bite had been. Thankfully, the man had just been crazy and not—
A chill shot down my spine, and I looked up, my gaze moving from Kellan to Blake. “You don’t think he was infected, do you?”
“What?” Blake asked.
Kellan shook his head. “No. He was just nuts.”
“But, I mean—” I stammered over my words because my heart was pounding harder than it had even when the man lunged. “There are so many strains now. Maybe he was infected. Maybe he just hadn’t died yet. It’s possible, right?”
“Look at him, Regan.” Kellan nodded to the body. “He wasn’t.”
“He talked to us,” Blake piped in. “He didn’t have any of the other symptoms. He was just out of his mind.”
I tried to cling to their words, but the bite on Kellan’s arm was too fresh and the fear clawing at me too huge.
I looked back to where Christine stood, staring at us with wide, unblinking eyes.
“He wasn’t infected,” she said, as if knowing I was looking for reassurance. “He was just nuts.”
It didn’t help.
Kellan, on the other hand, didn’t act the least bit concerned. If anything, he just looked pissed off as he ripped his shirt over his head. “Help me tie this around the bite.”
I obeyed, taking the shirt and wrapping it around his arm while Blake went to check on Christine. She probably needed it even if she wasn’t the one who’d been attacked. She acted like she was in shock.
“We can’t do stupid stuff like this again,” I told Kellan. “Got it? Just because we decided we need to open ourselves to the world more, doesn’t mean we take stupid risks.”
