If she told him about Lexa's threat, she knew he'd go after her and get himself killed. If she kept Lexa up to date on what he was doing… she might kill him anyway. But if she put enough drama in his life that he forgot about whatever crusade he was making against the drug lord, then perhaps he had a chance at survival after the end of it all. She broke the kiss and pushed him away.
"I wished you weren't," she blurted. The fact that it was true would make it hurt even more. She trembled as she saw the pain flash in Marcus' eyes. "I wished that I had betrayed you. It would have made it hurt so much less. I wanted you to hurt as much as I was hurting, but I knew that the lie you believed…"
"I don't blame you."
Adela closed her eyes, fighting the tears. Just get angry with me.
"I don't blame you for hating me, and now that I see exactly what I did…" He laughed softly. "I wouldn't blame you if you hadn't given me a second chance. But now that you have, I promise I will do everything I can to earn it. I promise, Adela. My love." He kissed her. "My life."
Once more she found herself slipping into that promise of comfort. Even if it was a false promise, he didn't know that. He couldn't. Once more she was hiding things from him. I never should have gone on that stupid date. I should have cancelled and stayed with him.
"Marcus… I…" Could she tell him? Could she tell him and make him forsake his quest against Lexa? "I don't want you to do this. Any of it. Just leave Lexa alone. You and me and Luci can just leave. We can just go to another city. Build another life. You're not part of the clan here. Maybe we can go back to your home clan and you can introduce me to your family and…"
She trailed off as Marcus shook his head. "I can't go back. And it's not easy integrating yourself into a new clan. Especially if I show up with a mate and daughter. They'll think I did something terrible and they wouldn't be wrong."
"No," she said at once. "Marcus, I know that things have been questionable but you don't have to go on some heroic, suicidal mission to prove yourself worthy of me. I would rather have you as you are by my side for the rest of my life then think of you as a dead hero. I don't want you to leave me alone again."
Marcus cupped her face in his hands. "Adela, as long as we're here, you're safe. Nobody is going to hurt you again."
"Did I express concerns for my safety?"
He sighed and released her. "I know this is hard. It's terrifying. But I have to. I'm not trying to be a hero, but I need to do this. And it's not some tragic notion of being good enough to deserve you. It's for Luci. If I don't do this, how can I say that I am, in any way, good enough to be her father?"
"You are her father."
"And so I need to make the world better for her to grow up in."
What more could she say? Maybe she wasn't trying hard enough, but Adela found she couldn't find the words to argue with him. It wasn't him betraying her, after all. He had finally put his trust in her and now she was betraying him. She wrapped her arms around him, bringing her mouth to his. Maybe it was wrong. Maybe she was doing it for the right reasons. She didn't know.
At the moment, all she knew was that she needed him inside her, to feel that connection, to make love as though it was their last day on Earth.
She straddled Marcus' hips, grinding herself against him as she pressed her body as close as she could to him. Her motions had an immediate effect and he groaned into her mouth. She took the opportunity to thrust her tongue into his mouth. She wanted to be so rough and wild she forgot who she was, but when she reached to tear apart Marcus' shirt, he caught her by surprise and swung her round, pinning her to the mattress. He grinned at her, kissed her, then withdrew.
"Marcus," she whimpered. "Please. I need you."
He chuckled. "Not when the door is open."
Adela glanced past him to see that the door was, indeed, wide open. Her face colored, but Jasmine was still downstairs. After he had closed it, she yanked off her pajama shorts and pulled her shirt up over her head. Marcus' gaze darkened with lust as it travelled down her body. With a coy smile, she spread her thighs and reached between them. Marcus made a strangled noise in his throat and tore off his own clothes.
"You love playing with me, don't you?" he asked, voice rough, as he dropped to his knees. His big hands closed on her hips and he turned her to give himself access. With another moan he buried his face into her, his tongue immediately seeking out his target.
Her head fell back as a pleased cry burst from her throat. He was merciless, keeping her legs stretched far, not easing his assault on her defenses once. Adela dug her hands into his hair while rolling her hips up. His fingers tightened on her thighs, hard enough to bruise, and it only made her arousal all the tighter in her core. Shivers ran up and down her legs, her chest heaving. Her nipples had hardened into tight points and she couldn’t stop the repetitive grunts coming from her throat.
"Take me like an animal," she gasped out. "Like a wild stallion mounting a domesticated mare."
Marcus slowed and pulled back, wincing slightly as her fingers caught in the tangles of his hair. "You are anything but domesticated, my love."
"Then tame me."
He grinned and she grinned back. With one motion he flipped her onto her stomach, then grabbed a pillow and put it under her hips and stomach to elevate them. Adela tried to get to her knees, but when he entered in one thrust, pushing in deep, she understood the need for the pillow. He caged her with his body, her legs spread out to either side of his legs as he drove into her again and again, wild, full of animalistic desire. It left her crying out and gasping for breath. She clawed at the blankets and arched her back to him when he kissed and nipped at her shoulders.
Should she have tried to go for something sweet and gentle?
No. It wasn't them. They were fire and passion, their whole bodies pressed together, with hard movements and no time for finesse.
"I love you," she ground out between bursts of panting and mewling with desire as waves of black started to wash over her vision. "I love you."
"I—" Marcus picked up his pace. "Love—" A throaty groan. "You—" She felt him going rigid. "Too—"
He released on a roar, body still jackhammering into her. What little control she had left deserted her and she threw her head back, joining him on a howl. Wave after wave of pleasure ripped through her but she didn't care.
Eventually they both fell to the bed, spent, panting. Marcus' heat caged her and she reveled in this small comfort.
"I love you," Marcus whispered, turning so they were still joined but he was no longer crushing her. "And I'm sorry for everything I did… we kind of forgot your no sex rule."
Adela let out a laugh that was more of a sob. "I don't care about that stupid rule. I just want you to be with me."
Without warning the tears began to fall. Marcus held her close, clearly startled. Worry shone in his eyes, but she wasn't sure how to tell him what was going through her mind. It was a terrible, terrible thing she had done. Making love when she was betraying him with every breath she took… And even now she wanted him to take her again, to make her forget about everything happening outside of this small room.
She wanted him to trust her unconditionally? Well, that street went two ways. If she wanted him to trust her, she had to trust him. And assuming his actions when he didn't have all the facts? That was no trust. She pressed herself against him and held his arms tight around her, her back to his chest.
"There is something I need to tell you."
Chapter Twelve
Nerves burned through Marcus as he walked along, escorted by a couple of hulking bears that looked suspiciously more like bodyguards than the matriarch's sons. Not that he really blamed her for her heavy security. She had allowed him into her clan and then he had broken the rules, putting them all at risk, so why should she believe he was here to do anything but cause more trouble?
The guards led him to a room where the matriarch waited on a white couch. She was alone in the room, which was a goo
d sign. The less people to know the details of his visit here the better.
She was getting on in years. White hair, wrinkles around her intelligent eyes, shoulders starting to stoop with all the responsibilities she was under. There was a hard edge to her expression though, a determination and cunning that time would never take from her. Marcus inclined his head toward her, trying to keep his body as relaxed and unthreatening as possible.
"Mr. Haught, how lovely to see you again. I got your little message. Tell me, were you attempting to bribe me with this cocaine?"
She was testing him. The note he had sent in with the sample explained everything. "Lexa is pushing drugs into bear territory. Do you really want to waste time playing games?"
She tapped her fingers against the table and gave a small smile. "I have been trying to get Lexa away from my clan for years. I tried the police. I tried the FBI. I talked with human councils, I formed a team to run her out. I even offered her a place by my side if she would stop her crimes. She wants money and she has the power that comes with being rich. Who do you think is the owner of this game?"
It wasn't what Marcus had expected but he sucked in a deep breath. "Give me permission to go after her."
"You aren't part of my clan. You don't need permission."
"Yes, I do."
The matriarch leaned back, her sharp eyes never moving from his face. "And why is that?"
"I have a daughter. I want to earn a place back with the clan." He took a deep breath. Having to ask for this was too similar to begging for his tastes, but for Luci he would do this. He would fight for a place back in the clan and all the good things it would bring to his little girl. "And it starts with asking permission."
"You have had a daughter for two years. What changed now?"
Marcus brushed his hair back and shook his head. "I stopped being an idiot and actually listened."
The matriarch studied him for a good long while before nodding. "What is your plan?"
"My plan."
The matriarch didn't look pleased. "You do have a plan, don’t you?"
"Yes. All the details have not yet been worked out. But my plan is to gather evidence. Undeniable proof of Lexa’s activities. And then I will send it all to various police establishments—" Here he scowled. He would prefer not to get the cops involved at all but unfortunately there wasn't much of an alternative. "I will also send it to every media outlet I can think of, and then use Isaias Durant’s army of lawyers to embroil Lexa in so many lawsuits she won't be able to deflect it all."
"Isaias Durant. And here I was under the impression that you two didn't like each other." A small smile played about her lips. Still testing him, then.
"We don't. That doesn't mean we can't get along for the sake of those we care about."
"You mean Adela Choi."
Marcus nodded. "Now. About my place in the clan. I know it’s your policy to boot out everybody who gives shifters a bad name and I was embroiled in that kidnapping scheme. But I only went along with it to try to stop them and protect my mate. You cast me out even before my trial. And you’ve kicked out a lot of us for stupid things that are just young men acting out because they are being forced to hide who they are."
The matriarch didn't speak.
"You used to fly a banner that said we are proud to be shifters. Proud to be bears." Marcus knew he was testing his luck but he didn't care. "Now you encourage our children to be silent, to repress their bears. Can you honestly say that isn't as damaging as the drugs Lexa distributes? It might be even worse."
The matriarch smiled a bitter smile. "You are very right. It's a horrible thing, to have to hide who you are."
He hadn't expected her to agree so readily.
"But with the arrests and threats and people like that awful Dwayne Sawyers? I had to do what I could to keep my people alive then so they could fight today. I have hidden in fear too long, though. It is time for change to come." She stood. "If you are successful at this, we will see about finding you a place in the clan again."
It wasn't exactly permission, but Marcus supposed that it was the best he was going to get. He stood as well and bowed towards the matriarch. She inclined her head at him and he turned on his heel. The nerves that had been churning in his stomach released like mist rising into the air, but they were only replaced by new ones. He had gotten permission to act. That was a good thing. Now he needed to set his plans in motion.
First things first, he needed to go home. He needed to make sure that Adela and Luci were safe through all of this.
"Marcus," the matriarch called after him.
He turned back towards her.
"You mentioned your mate… does that mean that you and Adela have patched things up? I heard that she was sleeping with you again."
Marcus felt heat rise in his face, though he fought it. Badass bikers like him didn't blush. "Adela and I are working things out."
"Good. It's about time you got your head out of your ass where she was concerned."
He expected to get an angry reaction from his bear over that, but it stayed docile and lazy in his chest. A wry smile crossed his lips. That was probably because it knew that the matriarch was telling the truth about that. He had been a fool. And he was never going to be one again.
***
When he got back to the Durant mansion, he found Adela, Luci and Jasmine all outside. He frowned, since being outdoors made them more vulnerable, but at the sight of Luci's happy smile he understood why they had left the house. Lexa didn't know yet what he was up to, plus she was counting on Adela to keep her up to date on his plans. That would keep them safe for now.
Besides, now that he knew that Jasmine was a shifter as well (something that had shocked Adela, as she had had no idea that she had hired a jaguar), he trusted that she had the basic skills necessary to protect them. If nothing else, Jasmine was strong enough to grab both Adela and Luci and get them into the panic room if anything happened.
The trick now was to keep them safe while not letting Luci be frightened. She was still so young, he didn't want her to be afraid and not know what she was fearing.
"Mar!" Luci shouted, running at a breakneck speed over to him.
He grabbed her and threw her into the air, then caught her and held her on his hip. Luci, however, threw herself back so she was dangling. He held her by one ankle, causing her to shriek with laughter. A glance at Adela showed a nervous smile, so he grasped Luci's other ankle as well and carried her back to her mother.
A sudden pang hit him. He had wasted so much time. He could have been here from the beginning if he had only listened to Adela when she told him that Isaias was like a brother to her. If he had trusted her.
But, thinking back, everything started to change when he found out she was pregnant. Even though he didn't know that the baby was his, even though he thought she had slept with someone else. Knowing that his mate carried a child had changed his life. If he had been smarter, he would have told her that sooner.
"Mar, I want ice cream," Luci said once he had righted her again. She patted his cheek. "Mama say no but I say yes."
Marcus laughed, unable to stop himself. "You said yes, huh?"
"Very insistently." Adela gave him a rueful smile. "Our little girl is very much her father's daughter. All stubbornness and refusal to take no for an answer."
"But that's what you love about me."
Adela wrapped her arms around his waist. "It's also what drives me crazy. But we don't have any ice cream and we have to stay home, precious. It's a busy day at the market and they're probably out of ice cream anyway. We can make cupcakes."
Luci folded her arms. "Don't want."
Marcus lifted her into the air again. "I can get the ice cream."
"No!" Adela's face blanched.
She sucked in a deep breath and shook her head, forcing a smile as Luci turned wide, startled eyes on her. The tiny body tensed and Marcus could feel her withdrawing into herself. She might not know about Lexa and the thr
eat they were under, but she was definitely picking something up from the adults.
Adela brushed her fingers through Luci's hair and shook her head. "No, we don't need ice cream. We can make cupcakes."
"Jasmine, why don't you take Luci in to start getting things ready?" Marcus asked quickly.
The jaguar narrowed her eyes at him. "I want to know what is going on too."
"And I will tell you. Right now, though…" Marcus gestured toward the house.
Jasmine narrowed her eyes but nodded. Luci squirmed and whined in her arms as she carried her inside. Marcus turned to Adela. His mate looked nervous, chewing on her lip as he pulled her into his arms. She didn't relax.
"Lexa called while you were gone," she whispered. Jasmine wasn't privy to their plans, just in case Lexa had gotten to her, too. "I told her that you were going to the matriarch but that I didn't know why. What am I going to say the next time she calls?"
"Tell her that I plan on gathering evidence against her, but that I've promised you to stay away from Lexa herself. The matriarch has given me the go ahead, or at least I think she has, so that's all there is to it. We have to stay brave, Adela." He brushed his mouth over hers. "Or you could leave. Take Luci and go to Korea to visit your grandparents. Stay far, far away from all of this."
"If I did that, how am I supposed to help you? How am I supposed to continue to feed Lexa information so that we can set our trap?" The fear left her face, replaced by steely determination. "No. I'm not going anywhere. Although I did call Isaias."
Marcus winced.
"I couldn't get hold of him. I guess the arctic doesn't get great cell service. I thought that I could get them to come back and take Luci. I wouldn't even have to tell him why."
"Oh, he'd demand to know why." Marcus ruefully shrugged. "Although come to think of it, I could use him on my side. I might not like Durant that much, but he's a good fighter. I could use a good fighter."
Adela rested her head against his chest. "And instead you have me."
"I have you." He kissed the top of her head. "That's all I really need."
The Bear Shifter's Second Chance Page 7
