by J. E. Taylor
Could someone without a soul still feel love?
“Don’t look so devastated.” He stepped closer and palmed my cheek. “I’m still me.”
I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch, balling my fists so my nerves wouldn’t get the best of me. His hand was warm, but it didn’t stop the shakes gripping me. My clothes still dripped, and the cool air filtering through the wet fabric of my shirt didn’t help.
“Come on, let’s get inside so you two can get into something dry,” CJ said and headed towards the open front door where Amber and Arianna stood with wide-eyed gazes.
Alex left me in the kitchen with Tom and CJ, and as soon as his door closed upstairs, Tom and CJ both sagged against the kitchen counter.
“What am I going to tell Valerie?” CJ asked softly.
“He didn’t seem all that different,” Tom said, but I could tell there was some underlying angst. He glanced at me. “Right?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
Tom glanced at the stairs. “He still looks at you the way our father looked at our mother, so that is still there.”
CJ’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”
Tom rolled his eyes. “Come on, you can’t see it?”
Alex came down the stairs with his wet clothes in one hand and a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt in the other. His gaze landed on me, and he crossed the distance as if we were the only people in the house.
“I thought you might like something dry, too. The bathroom’s back there.” He nodded towards the hallway and handed me the dry clothes.
I caught CJ’s open-mouthed expression before I turned and headed to change. I stripped out of the wet clothes and piled them neatly on the toilet lid. I debated on keeping my underwear and bra on, but they were uncomfortably wet. So, I peeled them off and added them to the pile.
Alex’s sweats were big around the waist, but with the drawstring pulled tight, they settled on my hips enough to be comfortable. The large sweatshirt fell in a baggy bunch to mid-thigh. I rolled up the sleeves and opened the door.
Alex stood straight and put his hands out. “Your clothes.”
I handed him the pile. He stared at my undergarments and then raised his gaze to mine. His lips formed a smile that I’d never seen on him, and my cheeks heated in response.
“I’m going to go put these in the laundry,” he said in a husky voice that sent chills through me. “And then maybe we will sneak down to the panic room.”
“I don’t think so.” Tom stepped around the corner and raised an eyebrow at his nephew.
Irritation flashed in Alex’s eyes, and he turned and headed towards the laundry room.
Tom led me into the kitchen and picked up the diploma. “Congratulations.”
I crossed my arms. “I told you.”
“Yes, but he’s the one that makes the recommendations to the school.” He pointed at CJ. “If I tried, they would laugh me out the door.”
“Where are the girls?”
“Doing more work downstairs,” CJ said. His gaze was glued on the ocean outside.
“I’m fine, Dad. Don’t stress about it,” Alex said.
CJ turned. “Maybe you two should head out.”
“But her clothes…” Alex said.
“We can bring them by later after your mother gets home.”
“I’ll go get my stuff,” I said and headed downstairs. My bag sat outside the computer room and I shouldered it. “See you two tomorrow,” I said to the girls who were busy at the computers.
“Bye,” they said in unison.
I wished I were their age again and blissfully clueless. I turned and bumped right into Alex.
He licked his lips and pulled me to the corner near the entrance of the panic room. His mouth found mine. The kiss started slow, but escalated quickly. I put my hand on his chest, and the strong beat of his heart echoed in my palm. It matched mine in strength and speed.
He pulled away from my lips, and that decadent smile appeared. Raw hunger reflected in his eyes, and when he leaned in for another kiss, I locked my elbow, holding him off.
“I have to go.”
He stepped back and raked his hair with his hand. “I’ll see you later,” he said and waved me toward the stairs.
I stopped halfway across the basement and turned back towards him. “Eighteen.”
He blinked and tilted his head to the side.
“Save that look and everything that goes with it until we are eighteen.” I grinned.
He laughed and cocked an eyebrow. The silent challenge in his gaze flushed my entire form. I nearly ran up the stairs, and by the time I sat down in Tom’s car, I was convinced that only the primal part of Alex’s soul was left.
Chapter 14
“Are you all right?” Tom said after we pulled out of the driveway and away from the commotion.
“I don’t know.” I stared out the window at the water.
“Your mother’s ashes arrived just before I left to come get you.”
I nodded. A lump formed in my throat, and my chest tightened. I fisted my hands against the wave of emotions threatening to break down my defenses and wrapped my arms around my midsection.
The reality of everything that had happened today hit like a demolition ball. In all my life, the only danger I had been aware of was from my fire curse. That and possibly freezing to death when we ran out of firewood in the winter. Now, someone wanted me dead. It wasn’t figuratively speaking either.
Tom’s hand landed on my shoulder, and he squeezed gently.
Fury welled to the surface, incinerating all other emotions and leaving only wild and unchecked wrath. “You brought me into this,” I roared in the small space and tried to shake his hand away.
He kept his hand in place. “Yes. I did.” His voice was soft. “And I would do it again, despite the fallout.”
I was tempted to knock it away, but I was terrified to move my hands. All I needed right now was to set the upholstery on fire. “Damn you,” I whispered.
Tears prickled the corners of my eyes. I blinked them back as despair threatened to engulf me. The same sense of being overwhelmed that I’d had yesterday crushed down on me, and my lungs constricted until I could only get a wheeze of air through.
“Breathe.” He pulled into the empty driveway and put the truck in park. “I’ve said it before. This is all normal to me, but it took some getting used to for Bri. She understands stepping into this blind, so if you need to talk…” He pulled his hand away from my shoulder.
The absence of contact caused my breath to hitch. “I killed those things,” I finally squeaked out, saying the thing that had haunted me the most about today. The ease in which I had taken life, even the life of a monster, startled me.
He turned off the truck. “Yes. You did.”
“I almost killed Alex in the process.” I met his gaze.
“But you didn’t. You got him out of there without harm. Although, I wish you had been awake when they were siphoning Alex’s soul.”
I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the headrest, willing the tears not to come, but it was a futile command. “Alex lost a lot of himself today,” I whispered. “That wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t taken me in.”
Tom drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. He didn’t agree or argue with my statement. Instead, he opened his door and stepped out of the cab.
“Go get changed, and then we can go do what you promised with your mother’s ashes.” His door closed, signaling the end of the conversation.
My fingers ached from holding them so tightly balled, so I slowly opened my hands and wiped the tears from my cheeks. I didn’t know if I would ever consider any of this normal. I inhaled slowly and then exhaled before I opened the door and climbed out of his truck.
Inside the house, Tom crossed from the desk in his office and handed me the last pair of gloves.
“Don’t lose those, and don’t let Bri wash them,” he said and walked into the family room.
&n
bsp; I made my way upstairs and stared at the choices of clothing. My gaze kept being pulled to the black leather. It was the only black outfit I had, and while one of the dresses probably would be better suited, I decided I needed to be badass instead.
I dressed quickly and undid my hair, then ran a brush through the damp locks. The last thing I did was pull on the gloves. The boots had a higher heel than I was used to, so I walked carefully down the stairs and into the entry.
Tom stepped into the entry and his eyebrows rose, but he didn’t say a thing. He handed me the box that held the simple urn inside and headed back outside.
Bridget wasn’t in the office. April wasn’t home, either, and a quick glance at the clock confirmed she should have been. I went out to the truck and Bridget’s car wasn’t there. I hadn’t noticed the absence of the car when we’d arrived.
I needed to be much more vigilant.
I climbed into the passenger seat.
“Where to?”
“I have no idea.”
Tom nodded and drove down a few winding roads, over a bridge and then parked in the marina parking lot and turned off the truck. He opened the console between us and pulled out a pair of keys.
“Where are we going?”
He nodded towards the boats. “Raven’s Gift is mine.” He pointed at one of the bigger boats on the dock. “I’m going to take you to the perfect place to honor your mother.”
I followed him to the boat and waited while he unsnapped the cover. Once the boat was ready, I handed him the box and helped him untie the ropes from the moorings. With the last of the ropes untied, we stepped aboard, and I settled into the passenger seat.
Tom started the boat and pulled out of the slip. I watched the shoreline, fascinated at the different view as we cruised out of the marina and into the open ocean.
He headed towards the far bluff with a lighthouse. When we passed another outcrop, he pointed. “That’s CJ’s house.”
The home looked different from the water, but I recognized Alex. He stared out at the sea from behind the rock wall. Even at this distance, I could see his stiff stance. I glanced at Tom.
“He’s processing everything right now. Much like you did on the ride home.”
“Is he upset?”
Tom sighed and focused on where we were headed. “I’m not picking up emotion, just thoughts.” A troubled expression crossed over his face, but he didn’t expand on what he’d said.
My gaze dropped to the box in my hands and my current task. I would worry about Alex later. Right now was time for good-byes.
Tom slowed the boat as he approached the lighthouse on the bluff. “I would have brought you there, but they don’t really like ashes thrown from the park, although people still do. This is Nubble Lighthouse, and I’m sure being from Maine, you’ve seen pictures of it before.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“It is.” He turned off the throttle and put the boat in neutral about fifty yards from the outcrop of rock that held the notable lighthouse. He dropped anchor and turned the engine off. “The wind is blowing off shore, so just be mindful of where you toss the ashes. I’m sure you don’t want a face full of your mother.”
A smile surfaced at the image his words painted in my head. Guilt followed. I shouldn’t be smiling at such a solemn time.
“Why not?” Tom asked, surveying the seascape. “I’m sure your mom had a sense of humor. She wouldn’t be upset with you for smiling.”
“Please stop listening to my thoughts,” I said and sent a sideways glare at him.
He sat down in the pilot seat and waved for me to get on with it.
I stood, pulled the urn out of the box, and gasped. This wasn’t what I had picked out. It was one of the top-of-the-line urns. “I think there’s been a mistake.”
“No. No mistake,” Tom said.
I turned the sapphire urn and stared at the gold etching inscribing my mother’s name, birth date, and death date on the side. I pressed my hand over my mouth. Tears burned my eyes, and I sat down on the back bench, overwhelmed yet again.
“You did this?” I asked
“Yes. I thought you’d appreciate something that was as beautiful as your mother and not some cheap knockoff.”
I traced the letters and pressed my lips together against the sudden quiver. “But it was so expensive.”
“But it was the one you wished you could afford.”
I wiped the tear from the corner of my eye. He was right. This was the only one I really wanted, but with the hospital bill and my mother’s savings depleted, I had to choose the most economical choice instead. Besides, I was just going to dump the ashes anyway.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He turned back to the controls, seemingly busying himself with the boat and giving me the space I needed.
The boat had swung around so the back now faced the open sea, away from the lighthouse. I stood at the stern and held the urn against my chest.
“I promise I’ll live up to your expectations,” I whispered. “I’ll make you proud. I miss you.” I unscrewed the top and slowly poured the ashes out into the ocean. “Go explore the world, Mom.” I sniffled. “I love you.”
I screwed the top back on and just held it tight while the ashes disappeared beneath the water. When it all was gone, I turned back towards Tom and gave him a silent nod before I took the seat next to him.
He handed me some tissues, retracted the anchor, and started the boat.
“Can we stay out here a little longer?” I didn’t want to go back and be reminded of my failures. I just wanted this sense of peace to last a little longer.
“Sure. I can go up the shore for a bit.”
“That would be nice.”
Tom trolled slowly along, narrating what we passed, but I wasn’t listening. I was just enjoying the calm seas and the stunning coastline, letting my mind rest.
I glanced at his profile. “What is it like to absorb angel grace?”
He slowed the boat down and chewed on his lip. “It’s hard to describe,” he said. “My only conscious experience was eating Damian’s heart, which was beyond gross, but I knew if I didn’t…” He looked away and wiped his mouth. “If I didn’t, Lucifer would.”
He stared out at the ocean long enough for me to believe he wasn’t going to finish.
“I don’t know what I expected. I had seen Damian do the same thing years before, and he was bathed in light kind of like you saw in the vision of me giving CJ the grace.” He sighed and glanced at me. “It wasn’t difficult to do that, either, because Michael and Gabriel’s grace didn’t bond with my cells. It seems Lucifer’s did. And I’d venture to guess Raphael’s as well because I do have both lines in me. But that doesn’t explain the fact CJ can gift grace at will.” He let out a sarcastic laugh. “Maybe I am some kind of freak. I don’t know, but when Lucifer’s grace bonded with me, it felt like I was being shredded from the inside out. Raphael’s was different. It exploded from the very core of me, and I woke with his insignia on my chest. None of the others were ever marked in the same way.” His hand went to his chest and rubbed his shirt over the spot where I had seen the mark. “The fact I can’t pull either grace out…” He pressed his lips together and shook his head. “I don’t know if it will be the same for you. CJ said he felt like the light of heaven filled him. I never asked Damian or Valerie what they felt.”
He let the silence fill the space between us as he slowly passed by CJ’s home.
“So only four people ever experienced angel grace?”
“All the descendants of archangels have angel grace within us. That’s why your father was feeding on the blood of descendants. It gave him a boost that he didn’t have without his grace.”
I waited for him to answer the question.
He glanced at me. “Yes, only four of us have ever consumed an archangel’s grace.”
I nodded. It made sense, although only two had truly consumed grace.
Tom rolled his eyes
at my thought, but he didn’t point out the semantics, thankfully. We pulled into the slip and secured the moorings, and I waited on the dock while he snapped the cover in place.
“Why Raven’s Gift?” I asked, pointing at the name.
“Raven was my first wife.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “She was very special. I inherited her gift of reading auras when her tongue was transplanted in my mouth. I wanted to honor her in some way, and this boat was the best I could think of.”
I swallowed hard. It was an incredibly sweet gesture, just like the urn in my hands. “April is very lucky to have you as a father,” I said and then his actual words hit. “Tongue transplant?”
Tom laughed. “I thought that one just breezed right over your head. Yes. My wife worked it out with Valerie if anything should happen to her first, then I was to get her tongue. Mine was taken when I was eight by the same psycho who killed my mother.”
“The one who put her head on the table you were tied to?” My throat tightened around the words and I trembled in place.
“Yes.” Tom stopped before we climbed the ramp. “You need to promise me something,” he said, his gaze as sharp and intense as I’d seen so far.
“What?” Dread filled every pore.
“When you get his grace, you won’t allow it to taint you.”
I shook my head. “I’ve already told you, I am not eating your heart. Ever. Unequivocally, no.”
He chuckled. “Humor me.”
“Fine, if I ever get my father’s grace, I promise I will not let it taint me, even though that will never happen.” Ever. Nothing could ever make me rip a heart out of anyone’s chest. No way. Not ever.
Somehow, I thought I heard the fates laughing at me.
Chapter 15
I walked in the front door holding the urn, and Bridget choked on a sip of coffee. Her eyes nearly bulged out of her head.
“I thought I said no to that one,” she said through her coughing while waving her finger at me.
“I put it in the cart,” April said. “She looks awesome in it.”
“You didn’t go over to CJ’s in that, did you?”
