by Noelle Adams
She rolled her eyes. “It feels good.”
“Good? That’s all you’ve got. Good?”
“I’ve been aroused before, you know. I’ve had orgasms.”
His eyebrows lifted slightly, and something changed in his eyes. “Have you?” he asked, gravel in his voice.
She blushed for no good reason. “Yes. I have. I told you. I’m not a child. I’m not some naïve adolescent who doesn’t know her way around her own body. I can get myself off whenever I want to.”
“Do you?”
“Yes, I do. I’m twenty-five years old, and I’ve never had sex. Of course I get myself off.”
“How often?”
“I don’t know.” She couldn’t believe she was having this conversation. “It depends.”
“On what?”
“On a lot of things.”
His voice was still thicker than it should have been. “How do you do it?”
“How do I... how do I get myself off?” She stared at him, realizing if she didn’t answer, he would have scored a victory. “I have a vibrator. Or I can do it with my hand if I’m already turned on.”
He just stared at her without moving.
She suddenly realized what was wrong with him—why he was stiff and hoarse and slightly flushed.
She gasped. “You’re turned on!”
“I am not.”
“Yes, you are!” She started to smile. She couldn’t help it. “You got turned on just from me talking about getting myself off. I can’t believe what a horndog you are.”
He narrowed his eyes at her but didn’t answer.
She laughed and pulled her toiletry case and some clothes out of her suitcase. “I’m going to take a shower. You can do whatever you need to do in here until you hear the water turn off.”
He made some sort of grumble in response, but she couldn’t make out the words.
She was still chuckling a little when she closed the bathroom door.
Maybe this was a good thing.
If he’d gotten turned on from just the idea of her masturbating, maybe he wouldn’t be averse to helping her out with her virginity.
The thought made her feel better about everything.
Two
An hour later, Hannah was checking herself out in the mirror and frowning in the process.
Bruce was sprawled out on his bed with his laptop propped on his bent legs. She thought he was working, but he surprised her by saying, “Stop frowning. You look gorgeous.”
She sighed and turned around. “It doesn’t look like I’m trying too hard?”
He rolled his eyes.
“You’re giving me an eye-roll? What kind of response is that?”
“It’s the only appropriate response to a question like the one you asked. Why would it look like you’re trying too hard?”
Hannah turned and looked back in the mirror. Her hair was plain brown, but it fell to her shoulders in a smooth, sleek fall without her even having to blow it dry. Her features were mostly even, her gray eyes and her lips just a little too big for the rest of her face. But she was one of those women who never really looked dressed up. She always looked casual, even in fancy clothes. She’d put on some makeup—not very much—and she’d dressed carefully in a simple gray-blue sheath dress and heels, but it still felt like she might be playing dress-up. “I can’t pull off fancy the way other women can. They look elegant and perfectly pulled together. I just look...”
“You look what?”
“Casual clothes feel more natural on me. It always feels like a big deal when I dress up, and I never feel like I pull it off quite right.”
Bruce shook his head, watching her over the screen of his laptop. “That’s just lingering feelings from being on scholarship in school. It’s not based on how you look. You look beautiful. And you’re the only one who would even question it.”
“That’s because you don’t know all these girls.”
“If they’re going to make you feel bad about yourself, then I don’t want to know them.”
That was kind of sweet. She gave him a sappy smile.
He rolled his eyes again, clearly recognizing the expression. “Madison and Charlie will be there, won’t they? Just hang out with them.”
“They won’t be at this lunch. It’s just for bridesmaids. They’re not bridesmaids.”
“Why did you get that honor? Are you closer to the bride than they are?”
“I’m really surprised Polly asked me. We were roommates for three summers in a row at an advanced academic program, so I did know her a lot better than Charlie and Madison. But we haven’t really talked in a few years. I guess it was for old time’s sake. She’s... she’s kind of a snob, but she’s not all bad. We had some good times.”
“Okay then. It will be fine. She’ll think you look fine.”
“Oh, she puts down even her closest friends if they’re not dressed the way she wants them to be.”
“Sounds like a real winner.” Bruce, evidently believing his duty had been done, was focused on his laptop again.
“She’s just Polly. You get used to it.”
When Bruce didn’t answer, she felt a flicker of frustration that he’d already fazed her out of his mind. “All right. I’m heading down then.”
“Mm-hmm.” He was typing now, clearing barely listening.
“I’m going to that tea thing afterward. It’s at three—right after the luncheon.”
“Yep. You told me.” He was clearly listening enough to be conscious of what she was saying. But just barely.
“If you get bored, you can always go down to the men’s thing at two. They’re calling it an English pub party.”
He snorted, still typing without hesitation. “No chance.”
“Okay. Your choice. I’ll come back up after it’s over. You are going to the dinner tonight with me, aren’t you?”
“Of course.”
“Okay. Good.” She stood where she was, watching him work, and she suddenly felt another flicker of something almost... naughty. She said lightly, without thinking through the impulse, “I’m taking off then. And just so you know, I’d like to not be a virgin when we head home on Sunday. Just so you can plan accordingly.” She was picking up her purse as she finished the sentence.
“Mm-hmm.”
She was shaking with amusement and something nervous and excited as she walked to the door of the room. She’d opened it when she heard Bruce demanding from the bed, “What did you say?”
She stepped out, closing the door behind her.
She had a good giggle as she hurried to the elevator, wondering if Bruce was going to come after her to find out what she meant.
The elevator was waiting, so she got on, and the doors slid shut before Bruce made an appearance.
She didn’t regret what she’d said, even though she hadn’t planned to say it. It made the topic light, funny, nothing too serious. It would be easier to approach it that way with Bruce.
It was serious to her, but it would get awkward if she made it serious between them.
She wanted to have sex, and she wanted Bruce to be her first time. But she didn’t want it to be awkward.
She’d hate to lose him from her life.
In fact, doing so would make her miserable.
THE BRIDESMAID’S LUNCH was exactly what she’d known it would be—delicious, expensive food, a lot of gossip and giggles, critical assessment of everyone else’s hair and body and clothes, and lavish gifts from the bride.
Hers was a very pretty silver necklace with a sapphire pendant.
She liked the necklace and appreciated the gesture even though it was much simpler than the jewelry the other bridesmaids received. Polly probably thought the simplicity suited her.
In truth, it did. She certainly wouldn’t want the garish earrings a couple of the other bridesmaids received.
At least the necklace she could wear.
Pleased that the lunch was over and hadn’t been too painful, Hannah was
happy as she headed over to a larger event room where the afternoon tea for the ladies was being held. She found Madison already in the room, standing near one of the windows. She headed over to her immediately, and then the two of them went out to wait near the elevators for Charlie.
When Charlie joined them, they all praised each other’s appearances and got updates on events of the day before they got down to the juicier topics.
Charlie had evidently argued earlier with Simon—the quiet, frowning man she’d brought as a date, fifteen years older than her and formerly the trustee of her inheritance. Hannah knew very well that Charlie was in love with Simon, but it wasn’t the easiest relationship and Simon wasn’t the easiest of men. The argument was bringing her down, so Hannah tried with Madison to encourage her.
“So have you said anything to Bruce yet?” Charlie asked in a conspiratorial whisper, after she’d promised she wasn’t giving up.
Hannah snickered. “Kind of. Right as I was leaving the room. I said I would like to no longer be a virgin when the weekend was over, so he should be prepared. I think I... surprised him.”
Madison gasped and covered her mouth with one hand. “You didn’t?”
“I did. I have no idea what he’s going to think or what he’s going to say, but I think it will be easier if I don’t act like it’s a big deal.”
“But he’s going to know it’s a big deal, right?” Charlie asked. “I mean, he knows you pretty well. He knows you’ve waited all this time. He’ll know it’s not just a spontaneous impulse.”
Hannah shrugged. “I don’t know. But I think I can talk him into it. He got turned on earlier.”
“He didn’t?” Madison asked in the same ecstatic gasping tone.
“He did. I mean, not in an out-of-control way, but he was definitely a little turned on. I was talking about... using my vibrator.”
“What the hell?” Charlie gave her a playful little push. “You’re shameless.”
“It’s not like I brought it up out of the blue. We were having a conversation, and it just kind of... drifted there. Anyway. I think it’s a good sign that he responded. Even if it’s just a generic response he’d have with any other woman, still...”
“He does not think about you like any other woman, Hannah. He’s already into you. He’s going to want to have sex as soon as he knows it’s a possibility.”
She sighed, slightly flushed but feeling encouraged. “I hope so. Anyway, we’ll see.”
They couldn’t talk in private for much longer since soon they were surrounded by old friends and rivals. Hannah tried to focus on what she was doing, but she was having trouble not thinking about tonight.
Maybe Bruce would be willing.
Maybe she’d have sex with him tonight.
Maybe it would be good.
She wasn’t sure how she would feel afterward, but she and Bruce were close. She trusted him more than almost anyone.
Whatever happened between them wasn’t going to be bad.
SHE STAYED AT THE TEA party for about an hour, but as soon as people started drifting out, she decided to too.
Bruce was still upstairs by himself.
She wanted to see what he was doing.
She wanted to see what he would say.
She wanted to see what he was thinking.
She said goodbye to Charlie and Madison and headed down the hall. She’d gotten to the mezzanine where the elevators were and was heading toward them when something off to the side distracted her.
She turned to look, realizing after a moment that the man she was looking at was Bruce.
Bruce. Still wearing the clothes he’d worn for the drive. Talking to a beautiful woman she’d never seen before.
Not just talking to her. Flirting with her. He was smiling in that particular heavy-lidded way he had, the kind that always turned women’s heads.
Hannah paused to verify that she was reading the situation correctly, but there was no way to even consider another interpretation.
Bruce was flirting shamelessly with that gorgeous woman—a woman who was obviously reciprocating. That smile would charm anyone with woman parts.
Hannah stared, her heart dropping heavily and a sick feeling clenching in her gut.
She’d told him he couldn’t screw anyone else this weekend. She’d told him he was supposed to be her date.
But evidently even that wasn’t enough for him to resist the slightest bit of temptation.
Even sex with her wasn’t enough.
The sudden recognition hurt so much her throat ached and she could barely swallow.
She was telling herself to turn around and go back to her room, to pull herself together and revise her plans for the weekend, when Bruce turned his head and saw her.
Her body was finally responding to her mind, orienting herself toward the elevator. She even started taking a few steps.
Bruce caught up with her before she’d gotten very far.
“Hey, hey, wait! What’s the matter with you?”
She turned her head, her lips parting over this ridiculous question.
“Hannah?” He put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her from walking. “What the hell?”
“You’re supposed to be my date this weekend,” she managed to say, her voice only breaking once.
“I am your date. What are you talking about?” His expression was confused, innocent, which turned her hurt into anger.
How dare he look surprised when he’d done this to her?
Maybe it wasn’t a real betrayal, but it felt like one to her.
“I asked you not to screw anyone else this weekend.”
“I’m not screwing anyone. I was down here waiting for you, and she came up to talk to me. I was just talking.”
“You were not just talking. You think I don’t know you? You were flirting. And when you flirt, you end up in bed. You can do what you want, even though you’re supposed to be my date, but don’t expect me to be happy about it.” She started walking again.
“Hannah, you’re being ridiculous,” he said, keeping in step with her. “I wasn’t—”
He broke off when the elevator opened and they got on. There was another couple already on the elevator, so they couldn’t continue until they’d gotten back off.
She made herself think things through as she stood in silence in the elevator, and she realized that she was overreacting.
Just because it felt like a betrayal, didn’t mean it actually was.
If she acted this hurt over something so little, then Bruce was going to wonder why.
She didn’t want him to know.
She couldn’t possibly tell him now that she’d wanted to have sex with him this weekend for real, that she hadn’t just been making a joke earlier.
“Hannah,” Bruce said, following her as she got off the elevator. “You have to tell me what’s wrong with you. I wasn’t going to have sex with that woman. I was just talking to her. If you’d come a minute earlier, you would have seen me trying very hard to get away from her.”
She took a deep breath when she reached the door to their room. Then she turned to him with a little smile. “Okay. Okay. It’s no big deal.”
His brows lowered, and he frowned at her. “It seemed like it was a big deal.”
“I misread what was going on. I’d be a little annoyed if you were going to have sex with someone when you’re supposed to be my date. But if you weren’t, then it’s fine.”
“I wasn’t,” he said. He didn’t look relieved. He looked confused. Almost suspicious.
“Okay. Good.” She gave him what she hoped was a breezy smile. “No harm done then.”
She thought there was a chance he’d believe her and drop the subject, but that didn’t seem like what was going to happen.
“If you’re upset about something,” he said as they entered the room. “You need to tell me what it is.”
She tried not to groan as she sat on her bed and slipped off her shoes. “I’m not upset. I was. A littl
e. It would be embarrassing if you slept with someone when everyone thought you were my date. So I’m glad you weren’t going to do it.”
“I wasn’t,” he said again, his voice slightly rough.
She beamed at him. “Good.”
He narrowed his eyes but fortunately didn’t answer.
SHE HAD A COUPLE OF hours before the wedding rehearsal, and she claimed she needed a nap. So she changed into something comfortable and lay down on her bed, hoping Bruce wouldn’t try to talk to her.
He didn’t. It felt like he was watching her sometimes, but when she opened her eyes, he was always working on his laptop.
She felt uncomfortable about the whole thing, and she wished she’d done better about guarding her reactions.
She’d been so excited about the weekend, and now it felt like it had completely fallen apart.
She texted Charlie and Madison, and Madison replied right away, asking what had happened.
Hannah replied, I think he was hitting on another woman.
He wouldn’t do that.
It looked like he was.
You told him not to do that this weekend, didn’t you? That was Madison again. Charlie must be busy because she hadn’t yet replied.
Yes.
So he wasn’t. You misread him.
I hope so.
You were. You trust Bruce, don’t you? You always have. He wasn’t hitting on her.
Hannah stared down at Madison’s texted words, wondering how her friend could be so much more confident about this than she was.
The answer was obvious.
Hannah’s emotions were involved. So deeply involved that she was having trouble thinking clearly about it.
She did trust Bruce. She always had.
Just then, Charlie popped into the conversation, as if she’d just read Hannah’s mind. If he was just a friend like you keep saying, you wouldn’t be so upset about this or assume the worst.
I know, Hannah admitted, adding a frowning emoticon to her message.
He wasn’t hitting on her, Madison texted again.
He wasn’t doing what you think, Charlie texted at exactly the same kind.
