by Kate Morris
Upon hearing this from her, Grandpa stops what he’s doing and turns to face them. He switches off the machine and takes his son’s other hand. She looks up at him and sees the unshed tears in her grandfather’s eyes. This is his son, not just her father dying in front of them. He has survived more than one bout of Small Pox, was shot in war once, and outlived the apocalypse. But he couldn’t survive the treachery of one of his own men. His health declined, and she knows that if Parker had poisoned him, then there is nothing they can do to reverse it. He was already in a weakened state of health before Parker’s evil machinations. There was just no way of knowing what was happening to her father behind the scenes. Even his most trusted advisors hadn’t known. And now he is going to pay the ultimate price for trying to do one last good thing in his life by bringing those people to live at this base, to safety, to a fresh start. It was all a lie. So much of his life was made up of misunderstandings and mistakes trying to do the right thing.
After another moment, he falls silent. Grandpa listens to his chest and shakes his head at her. He’s gone. Her father is gone. Reagan is just left with an empty feeling inside. So much time that he could’ve been in her life and wasn’t. All of his good intentions gone wrong. The moments they should’ve shared together.
“I’ll tell the others,” Grandpa says and walks toward the closed door. Reagan rushes over and flings herself against him, hugging around his waist. They stand there, doctor and doctor, grandfather and granddaughter, father and daughter, and embrace for a long time. When he pulls back, he says, “I’m proud of you for finding the grace in your heart to offer him your forgiveness, even if you only said it to make him feel better.”
Her father saying he was proud of her made Reagan want to forgive him. Her grandfather saying it means even more. He has always been that steady rock in her life, was always there for her through everything, put her back together when she was broken. He was always her father after Robert left, and even before.
“I love you, Grandpa,” she says quietly. “I’m sorry about Robert.”
“I’m sorry you never knew him, Reagan,” he tells her and strokes her curls. “I love you, too, sweetie. More than you’ll ever know.”
Placing her hand on his arm, she nods and leaves to retrieve the family. She’s going to give him a few minutes alone with his son before bringing people in to pay their final respects. She is sad that her father is gone. Sad that they made amends in his final hour and not ten years ago. Sad that he waited so long to tell her the truth of why he left. But mostly she’s sad for Grandpa. Losing his wife, family members, and now his son must be devastating. She can’t imagine ever losing him. She sends up a quick prayer to God to give her two more decades with her grandfather.
Chapter Thirty
Simon
They get the call around ten a.m. while he and Cory are still finishing morning chores. Paige runs out to get them. The news is sad. Robert McClane has passed.
“This is going to change everything,” Cory states as they eat breakfast together in the dining room, which feels so empty without the children and the rest of the family present.
“Why do you say that?” Paige asks.
Across from him, Sam is quiet and won’t make eye contact. Last night had gotten way out of his control too quickly. He had only meant to show her that Henry couldn’t make her feel the things he could. He hadn’t meant to go so far with it. Once it was clear that it would be cruel to stop, that she might resort to hating him again if he didn’t finish what he’d started, Simon had decided to give her pleasure and withhold it from himself. It was worth it. Just remembering the light sounds and soft sighs that came from her makes him squirm in his seat. His palms feel hot and sweaty as he recalls where they were only hours ago. The way she’d felt under his fingers had been like Christmas morning. He’s pretty sure nobody has ever touched her like that. All of his anatomical studies has paid off. He is more familiar with what her body is capable of doing than she is. He knows for damn sure Henry can’t make her do that. Simon only wants to do it every night for the rest of their lives.
“Simon?” Cory asks as if repeating himself.
“Oh, right,” he says. “If Derek and Sue leave the farm to run Fort Knox like Herb implied this morning, then they won’t be able to return.”
“Ever? Like ever?” Sam finally chirps up and asks.
“Possibly,” he mumbles and eats a bite of his sausage and eggs.
“Why?” Paige asks as if broken-hearted.
“That base already has over three thousand people living on it. They’ll, no doubt, increase their numbers significantly over the next six months if they absorb any of the people from Parker’s secret satellite camps.”
“Parker’s camps?” Sam asks. “After what happened in the apartment building with me? Those people are bad.”
“We can’t judge hundreds of people by the actions of a few,” Simon reminds her. “If we did that, we’d have to kill everyone at Fort Knox because of Parker. Also, there were a lot of women and children. It wasn’t like the highwaymen. There were families in those camps.”
“Good point,” Cory says. “I think the vetting process to allow people into Fort Knox will be severely tightened down once Derek is in charge.”
“Do you think anyone else in the family will be asked to move there?” Paige asks nervously.
“Herb said they’re considering asking Roy and his family from town to act in a security role, perhaps to become the sheriff. Derek will be acting more as a governor for a while. And K-Dog and his family, too. He’ll probably put K-Dog in charge of security and the training of the army. There’s a possibility of several of Dave’s men who might also go.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” his sister asks in the same tone Sam had used the night before.
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “I wasn’t supposed to mention it. Herb wasn’t sure what was going to happen, so he didn’t want everyone to panic and get upset.”
“Understandable,” Cory says, to which his wife scowls. “Sweetheart, it’s going to be ok. I know this is going to be a tough transition, but there are a lot of people up there who are going to need honest leadership. They’ll have that in Derek.”
They rise and begin carrying their dishes to the kitchen sink where Paige volunteers to take care of the clean-up.
“I can help,” Sam offers.
“Actually, Sam,” Simon says, gaining her attention, or mostly gaining her attention because she still refuses to look at him. “I’d like to know if you could go somewhere with me.”
“Where?” she asks warily.
He hadn’t thought this far in advance. Naturally, he should’ve known she’d have a hundred questions. “Uh, Derek asked me to check on this place close to here. He thought he saw…some horses that we could catch and bring here.”
“Oh, weird,” she remarks.
“Yeah, go,” Paige encourages, already aware of this situation because he’d gone to her early this morning and talked to her and Cory about it. She looks so fresh and pretty this morning with her red waves sticking out below her blue bandana tied around her head. It brings out the gray of her eyes. “I’ve got this. That sounds a lot more important anyway.”
“Right, it is. Very,” he lies almost convincingly.
“Sure, I’ll go,” she replies. “Let me change into something warmer. Are we riding there?”
“No, taking the Jeep.” When it seems as if she’s about to question this, too, Simon is quick to add. “I’ve got everything we need already packed in it.”
“Give me ten minutes. I’ll be ready.”
“I’ll be waiting,” he says as she hurries away.
“Are you ready?” Paige asks once Sam has gone upstairs.
“Yes, absolutely. Never been more ready,” he replies honestly.
“Yep, just don’t fuck up, bro,” Cory remarks casually and wraps his sister in an embrace from behind. “Hey, the kids are leaving the farm…”
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“Who are you calling a kid?” Simon jests in good sport.
Cory laughs. “Ok, the adult kids are leaving the farm for a while today, and the little ones are still gone, so…”
However, Simon’s sister is having none of it, “I need to wash these dishes, Cory. I was actually thinking about walking over and visiting with Talia. I haven’t seen her for a while.”
“Hm, Talia or alone time with husband,” he teases and holds his hands out as if they are a scale moving up and down. “The decision seems pretty easy to me.”
“You’re pretty easy,” she quips with a twinkle in her eye Simon’s never seen before. His best friend brings out a whole new side of his sister. He’s happy for them.
“You know I am, woman,” Cory jests. “Alone time with this big stud or girl time?”
Paige leans up and kisses him. “Maybe a bit of both.”
“Better,” he jests and returns the kiss.
“Get a room,” Simon jokes as he leaves the room.
“Don’t need to. We’ve got the whole house as soon as you get the hell out of it!” Cory calls after him.
Simon goes out to start the Jeep so that it warms up a bit before Sam has to get in. A few minutes later, he watches her exit the kitchen door while laughing. She’s so adorable and cute and charming and guileless. She has no idea how becoming she is to him. He jumps out quickly and opens her door for her.
“Oh, um, thanks,” she mumbles as she gets in.
“Seatbelt, ma’am,” he tells her once he’s in. In tow with them are his sniper rifle, an M16, and two pistols. He can never be too careful when he has her with him. Their last few trips together and even before those have proven dangerous. He’s not taking that chance today.
“Sun’s out,” she comments.
“Yes, a bit warmer than it has been, too,” he adds. He hadn’t worn his coat, only his khakis, a thermal undershirt, and a navy-blue zip-up hoodie. Sam is wearing her short pink coat and black riding pants. Those fateful black riding pants. It was when she first wore those that he found it hard to not stare at her derriere.
“Where are we going?”
“Not far,” he tells her honestly. He pulls out onto the main road after their dirt paths ends and turns right. “How are you feeling today?”
She clears her throat and says, her voice cracking, “Fine.”
This causes him to grin wickedly. “Sleep well?”
“What do you think?” she asks in an accusatory tone.
He chuckles. “Yes, I didn’t, either.”
“Why’d you do that?” she whispers as if someone will hear.
He tilts his head to the side and asks teasingly, “Do what, Sam?”
“That’s not funny,” she hisses. “You know perfectly well what I mean.”
“Make you orgasm?”
“Simon!” she nearly shouts.
“What? That’s what it’s called. I do believe I know the correct term for it. I’ve studied it,” says with a wry smile and adds, “extensively.”
“Is…is that how you know…you know, how to do that?”
He can’t stop the grin that keeps spreading across his face. His fascination with her body has probably more to do with it than all the studying he’s done over the past months since he decided he was going to fight so hard for her. He didn’t want her to be disappointed with him if they ended up together, after all. He can’t say this to her, though. Sam is too innocent to think about him like that.
“Yes, sure,” he lies. “Anatomical study and all.”
He risks a peripheral peek at her and watches her expression turn to a scowl as she thinks about this. “Oh,” she whispers. “That’s awfully handy information to have, I suppose.”
Simon can’t help it. He laughs loudly, earning himself a much-deserved punch in the shoulder.
“Shut up,” she murmurs and looks out her window instead.
“We’re here,” he tells her a minute later as he pulls down the drive.
“Wait, this is my old house,” she says with surprise and disappointment. “What are we doing here? There aren’t horses here anymore.”
Damn. That was a dumb reason to choose to tell her. She knows his aunt’s people shot her horses, just for fun. That was not smooth on his part. Instead, he tries to redirect her thoughts.
“No, there aren’t,” he says and parks the vehicle on the side of the garage hidden from the road and cuts the engine. “Come with me, Sam.”
“Why? Where?” she inquires nervously.
He doesn’t answer but gets out and takes the short rifle with him. Holstering the .45, he locks the door after she’s out and pockets the keys.
“Why are we here, Simon?” she asks when he walks around to her side of the car.
“Come with me,” he repeats and extends a hand. Neither of them is wearing gloves, and the skin on skin contact ignites that sensation again in the deep pit of his stomach. It’s the same feeling he gets every time he touches her.
Simon leads her across the field toward the horse barn and then past it.
“Where are we going?” she asks with trepidation.
“Right here,” he reveals, standing before her family’s grave markers.
“Simon, why did you bring me here?” she questions, looking around and tearing up.
“I wanted them to be present for this,” he says quietly. Somewhere birds chirp. The sun is high and warm. Soon, spring will be upon them. It’s a time for new beginnings. This is the first of what he hopes will be many new beginnings for Sam and him.
“Present for what?”
Her eyes are darting around nervously. Sometimes she has him bring her here. He’s heard her talking to her mother. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but he also hadn’t wanted to wander too far from her for safety reasons.
“I wanted them to bear witness,” he explains.
“To what?” she asks.
Simon catches her chin between his fingers and stops her from looking around. “I’m in love with you, Samantha Patterson. I want your parents to know. I’m also asking their permission in this.”
Her chest rises and falls at a faster pace, and her blue eyes grow larger.
“I’ll never love anyone else. I never did. God brought us together. I…I couldn’t keep you safe back then, but I can now. I failed you, but that will never happen again. What happened to us was not something that should ever happen to kids, but it did. I promise you it’ll never happen to our kids.”
This catches her attention better than anything else so far.
“What?” she asks softly.
“I don’t ever want you to go back to Dave’s. You belong with me. No matter where we end up, wherever we go, I want us to go there together. We were meant to be together. God brought you into my life in a dark time, the darkest ever. Not everything works out the way we want it to. If it did, I would’ve been able to prevent what happened to us from happening, but I couldn’t. For some reason, whatever reason He had for it happening, it was meant to.”
Thin lines mar between her eyebrows momentarily as she remembers that horrible, wretched time in her life.
“But that’s all in the past now. I want to look to our future. Together. You and I together.”
The lines deepen as she considers this.
“I know I hurt you. I was too afraid to let myself love you. I was too young, too damaged to realize I was in love with you. I don’t ever want to be apart from you from this day forward. You’re the best thing that ever accidentally came into my life. I want to take care of you for the rest of our lives. I want to have children with you. I want to spend every last second of my life with you, however long that should be, however much time we’re given. Life is too short to carry around bad memories and to live in fear. I want to make new memories with you. Good ones. So good that they make those bad ones disappear forever.”
A tear threatens to spill over onto her left cheek.
“I know you loved me once,” he says, catchi
ng her attention anew. It’s now or never. “I don’t know, however, how you feel about Henry. Or me.”
Sam’s lower lip purses.
“I only want you to be happy. I’m not going to lie to you, Sam. I don’t want you to be with him at all. I only want you for myself. I want to tell you every stupid, pointless, silly thing that’s going on in my life. I want to kiss you good morning and again before we go to sleep. I want you to come to me before anyone else when there’s something wrong. I want to provide a safe place, a safe home where you don’t ever have to be afraid again.”
The side of her mouth twitches. He’s not sure if she wants to smile or frown. Simon goes down on one knee in the damp grass and pulls a velvet box from his pocket.
“I love you, Sam,” he says again. “I want everything that comes with you, good, bad, damaged, healed. I want it all. I want you. I want you forever with me. I know we’re going to have bad days. I know I make you mad sometimes,” at this she does grin, “and I know I can make you feel other things, too.” This causes her to blush. “Most of all, I want to make you happy. I want to make you feel all of that every day for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?”
He pops open the lid on the black box and waits for it. She may reject him, punch him, push him down in the dirt and give him a solid kick to the ribs. It’s nothing less than what he probably deserves for rejecting her so often and breaking her heart. She may even tell him that she has already chosen Henry.
“Is…is that my mother’s ring?” she asks on a sharp inhale filled with disbelief and almost but doesn’t quite touch it.
“Yes,” he answers. “John took it from her finger before they buried her. He thought you might want this someday. If you don’t want it to come from me, that’s ok, too. It’s yours. It doesn’t have to come attached to me. It’s yours. It’s always been yours. Your mother would’ve wanted it that way.”
