When Billy reached the top of the hill he paused and looked down at the lake. Travis was sitting on the grass and Savannah was practically sitting in his lap. He stood there watching as they shared a very intimate moment. Bile began to rise in his throat at the sight of Savannah’s hands raking through his brother’s hair and then touching his face tenderly. It was enough to drive him insane. As Travis took Savannah’s hand and put it to his lips, Billy felt like dying. He wanted to just drop dead right there in the spot. It would have been so much easier to deal with than what his eyes were fixated on. It felt as though someone ripped out his heart, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it repeatedly. The pain of his broken heart was far more excruciating than any of the physical pain he had endured for the last six months.
What was he going to do? The only reason he had to live was now in love with his brother, and it had been all his fault. He was the one who told Travis to watch over her, spend time with her so she wouldn’t be alone. And look where that had gotten him, heartbroken and without the only girl he’d ever loved. He knew then that Savannah would never be a part of his life again. Now that she was in love with Travis there was no turning back. When Savannah loved, it was with all her heart, and his brother was lucky to have a woman like that.
There was no way she would ever be in love with him, not after he left her, and especially with the way he looked now. Billy not only looked like a broken man, but that’s exactly how he felt. Tired, broken, and completely defeated. He wanted to tell Savannah why he made the decisions he had and ask for her forgiveness so they could start over, but he would not interfere with her love for Travis no matter how much it hurt.
Billy felt there was nothing left to live for. He’d seen so many of his comrades die right in front of him and now he lost the love of his life. He was tired. Tired of hurting, tired of being in pain, and tired of giving life everything he had and getting nothing back in return. He couldn’t serve his country anymore, that much was clear when the doctors informed him of his limitations. The Army had been his life for the past four years, and now that he wanted to run away from his life at home, there was nowhere for him to run to.
Billy heard Sydney yell to his brother that he had arrived, but all he saw was Savannah. The shocked looked on her face was enough for him to know that she’d had no idea he was coming home. He watched her stand and for a fraction of a second he thought she was going to run over to him, wrap her arms around him, and tell him how much she missed him. But, that didn’t happen. She just stood there, staring, as if she didn’t recognize who he was. Instead, Travis came running over to him.
Travis reached the top of the hill and stopped within a few feet of him. A surprised expression crossed his face at the sight of Billy’s injuries. He closed the gap between them and grabbed his brother into a hug and slapped him on the back. “Billy, what happened to you? You said you were okay on the phone. Why didn’t you tell me you were badly hurt?”
“I didn’t want to worry you and mom. Besides what would you have been able to do? There was nothing you could’ve done for me halfway across the world. You would have been worrying every day and I didn’t want that on my conscience.”
“Bro, you should have told us. You’re all we have left. You could have at least called from the airport and let me know you were coming home early. I would have picked you up.”
“It’s okay, I took a cab. I didn’t want to be a bother; I knew you would have mom to take care of.” Billy looked around the picnic area. “Where is she?” Travis’ face turned somber. “She wasn’t feeling well this morning. She was forgetting things again and I thought it was best to have the nurse stay with her at home.”
“You’re right, I should have called. I could’ve had the cab drop me off at home.”
“No way, all these people are here to welcome you home.”
Billy glanced behind him and faced his brother again. “Why? I can’t even stand half the people here. Where were they when we were growing up, or even when I left for the Army? This town is filled with a fucking bunch of hypocrites.”
“True. But, there’s free food.” Travis chuckled.
Billy didn’t respond because his eyes were now fixated on Savannah. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. The only difference was her hair. She’d dyed it red and she looked sexy as Hell standing there with the sun glistening off her tanned skin, and the light Summer breeze blowing her hair across her face. And fuck if his cock wasn’t straining against the fabric of his jeans at just the sight of her. if He wanted When she started running towards them, he thought his worries were over. He thought she had changed her mind and was going to give him the welcome he’d always dreamed of. But, as she got closer he could see the anger on her face. Her eyes were filled with tears that were ready to shed any second. All Billy could do was put his head down and look away from her. He was ashamed of himself for being the kind of man his father was. He left behind the people who loved him, exactly like his father had. “I guess not everyone is here to welcome me.”
Savannah ran right passed him and headed straight for her car. Travis called to her, but Billy could already hear the sounds of screeching tires against the concrete. Then she was gone.
“Don’t worry, she’ll come around. She’s just in shock you’re back home. And she’s still hurting. Come on, let’s go see everyone. We should be eating soon.”
“Good because I’m starving.”
Travis led Billy to a shaded picnic table where they could sit and talk until the food was out and ready to eat. “Well, Private First Class William Thaddeus Blue, what are you planning to do now that you’re home? When do you have to go back?” Billy hung his head and took a deep breath before he spoke. “I’m not going back.”
“Wait, why not?”
“Why, are you trying to get rid of your brother already?” Billy said jokingly as he lifted his head to look at his older brother.
“No, of course not. It’s just that I know how much being in the Army means to you. What happened?” Billy suddenly got angry and pointed to his leg. “This happened!” Then he pointed to his face. “And this happened! They gave me an honorable discharge. I can’t go back. Believe me I never wanted to leave. I had nothing left to come home to. Mom is sick and probably won’t remember me, and now that you’re with Savannah, there is no room for me anywhere.”
“Wait, hold on a second. Savannah and I are not together.”
“I saw the two of you down by the lake.”
“What you saw were two friends consoling each other and nothing more. Now, I don’t want to argue with you on your first day being home. Let’s get something eat, then I’ll take you home.”
“You’re right I’m sorry. I’m just so frustrated that I can’t do anything I want anymore.’
“Look, don’t worry about all that now. I’m sure you’ll feel like your old self before you know it. Let’s just relax and have a good time for now.”
Travis’ words stung Billy and he softly scoffed at himself. That was a real joke. He would never feel like his former self again. He was almost completely blind in his left eye, his face would be scarred for the rest of his life, and it felt like his leg was never going to get better. Not to mention all the trauma and death he’d seen in the last four years. He had nightmares almost every time he slept and suffered from constant images of the tragedies his soldier friends had fallen into. Those images played in his head over and over again.
So many people welcomed him home that afternoon. All except Savannah’s mother of course. She just nodded while her husband shook his hand, welcomed him, and thanked him for his service. He was so tired from his long trip that he asked his brother to take him home early. His leg was starting to get jittery and he desperately needed to get home and rest.
Chapter Three
Isabel made her way from the kitchen into the front hall. “What? What happened? Why are you yelling like a mad woman? Estas loca?”
“Yes, I am crazy. Crazy to think that my mother would at least have the decency to tell me my ex-boyfriend was coming home today.”
“Oh, was that today?”
“Ma, you knew he was coming home today. I just spoke to Travis and he said he told you. Why didn’t you say anything? Do you want to hurt me on purpose?”
“That boy left you knowing how much you loved him, so excuse me for not caring about a man who intentionally hurt my child.”
“You never liked him. You always had a problem with him. I don’t get you. He was the only one who saw the real me and still loved me despite how different I am from everyone else.”
“It’s not that I didn’t like him. I wanted better for you than what I had. Growing up I had nothing more than the bare essentials. Your grandparents worked hard to give me and your uncles everything we needed. They struggled with their restaurant for years before business finally picked up. They couldn’t even afford to pay wages for waitresses or waiters so my brothers and I had to help out at the restaurant every single day. It was exhausting going to school, and then going straight to the restaurant to help until after it closed, then I still had homework to do. It wasn’t until tourism picked up that my parents were able to hire help and send my brothers to college. But, I never had the chance to go to school. School in my family was always for the boys, and the girls had no choice but to help their parents. If your father never went on that business trip and walked into the restaurant that day I would have still been stuck there.”
“So, you’re saying you only married Daddy for his money?”
Isabel looked passed Savannah to her husband standing in the doorway and smiled with tears in her eyes. “No. I fell in love with him the moment our eyes met.”
John walked up to Isabel and gently kissed her on the cheek before he headed into the kitchen. Savannah knew how much her parents loved each other. They rarely argued or disagreed. Even though her mother was very opinionated and outspoken, her father always brought out a gentle side of her that no one else could.
“See Ma, that’s exactly what I keep trying to explain to you. I have no control over who I fall in love with no more than you did with Daddy. Why can’t you understand that?”
Savannah was beyond frustrated to the point of tears. She turned around and ran up the stairs, not giving her mother a chance to say anything further. She slammed the bedroom behind her door and locked it. If her mother wanted to follow her to the room she’d be sadly mistaken to think they’d continue their discussion. Savannah walked over to her vanity table and sat on the cushioned bench her grandfather had made for her sixteenth birthday. The oak frame matched perfectly with the vanity her parents gave her that same year. As she opened her purse she heard the front door close and a few minutes later she heard the sound of her parent’s car driving off.
Ah, finally some peace and quiet. At least for a few hours until they returned home from the picnic. Savannah reached in her bag and pulled out the local newspaper turning to the real estate section. She had to move out of her parents’ house and now wasn’t soon enough. She called every listing and finally found an affordable house that was for rent so she made an appointment with the realtor to see it the next day. The house was right on the lake. It would be perfect if she got the house because the lake was the one place she could always clear her mind.
Savannah wished her mind was clear right now. All she could think about was the vision of Billy standing at the top of the hill. He appeared to be so broken, not only physically, but she could tell just by looking into his eyes something else was haunting him. Her heart ached for him, even though they weren’t a couple anymore. She wanted to run to him, but he was the one who left and broke her heart. He didn’t want her. So why should she make a fool of herself by offering him more of her heart when he would only reject her. Instead, she became so angry at him and ran right passed him, just like he ran passed her feelings for him so many years ago. At first when she started writing him, she wanted to believe that he’d lied to her only to spare her feelings because he was leaving for the Army. She wanted to believe that he did love her and all he needed was some time to think about what he really wanted. But, after she’d received every letter back with ‘return to sender’ stamped on the unopened envelope, it was too much for her to take. She wasted so much of her time and energy on someone who didn’t love her enough to open at least one of her letters. Not even a phone call. Nothing. It was like she never existed to him at all.
She opened herself up to him, handing over heart wrapped in a pretty big red bow and he crushed it into a million pieces. He’d been her first everything. Her first date, her first kiss, and her first sexual experience. Her only experience. He was the only man she’d ever been with. Not once in the four years he was away in the Army did she go on a date or even kiss another man. Well, let’s face it, there weren’t many men to choose from where she lived. She hated all the guys she went to school with because they always went after the popular girls and Savannah was far from popular.
Then there was Travis. Sweet and caring Travis. He was always there for her whenever she needed someone to talk to. He never turned her away. Not once. Travis told Savannah how he felt about her numerous times, but when she looked into his eyes all she could see was Billy. She had an unbreakable bond with Billy. Or at least she thought she had.
Searching in the newspaper for someplace to move took an hour or so as she made phone calls to various real estate agents in between. The rest of the day she spent in her room with her door locked listening to her mp3 player with the volume turned all the way up. She would probably be permanently half deaf afterward, but she didn’t care. Right now the screaming sound of the electric guitar and pounding drumbeat were drowning out everything she’d been previously thinking about.
As she laid her head on the pillow and closed her eyes she’d realized she didn’t even get a chance to visit Billy’s mother as she had planned to do. But, then again the day went as far away as planned as it could’ve gone. There were days where she needed to go visit just to be near something that was Billy’s. Sometimes she would go in his room and lay on his bed. No one ever knew she did this. Most of the time, Mrs. Blue took a nap after Savannah cooked her a meal or brought her something to eat before Travis got home from work. Travis had a nurse watch over his mother pretty much the whole day while he was working so she wouldn’t be alone. Still, Savannah checked in on them from time to time.
There wouldn’t be any way she would be able to go over their house now that Billy was home. Why couldn’t she just forget about him? He certainly didn’t have any trouble forgetting her.
The first thing on her agenda was to move into a place of her own, then save enough money to move completely out of town. Maybe move to a big city where she would be able to blend in with everyone else for a change. Maybe New York City, Chicago or Los Angeles. She turned the volume down on her music player and could hear the fireworks starting to dissipate. Thank goodness the day was finally over and she could start building a new life tomorrow.
The next morning Savannah woke tangled up in her earplugs and in the same clothes she had worn the previous day. The sun streaming in through the curtains burned her tired eyes. She rose from the bed and pulled the pink fabric curtain closed. A nice hot shower was what she needed. Today, she would go look at the house she hoped to rent and she had no time to waste.
After her shower she went in her closest to find a nice, light-weight summer dress. It was supposed to be over 100 degrees, and the least amount of clothes she wore the cooler she would feel. She decided on a simple pastel pink halter dress. It was her favorite dress. It was tight at the top with a short flowing skirt. She always felt sexy when she wore it. She loved how the silky fabric caressed her bare thighs. Savannah put on very little make-up knowing that it would end up melting off because of the extremely hot and humid weather predicted for the day. She pulled her hair into a ponytail, twisted up into messy bun then walked out
of her room and down the stairs. Her footsteps were calculated, soft, and slow as she did her best not to step on any loose boards. She silently hoped her parents wouldn’t hear her leave. She dreaded the thought of her day starting out bad before it even began. Her mother would surely have something to say.
She crept step by step and would have made it out the front door if it hadn’t been for that pesky loose floor board by the front door. Creak. “Fuck.” She muttered under her breath as her mother yelled from the living room. Savannah always thought her mother had the hearing of a bat and this sure confirmed it. “Savannah, a donde vas?”
“I’m going out.”
“Okay mija, have fun.”
“Okay!”
Well, that was easy. No argument or getting the third degree. Today must’ve be her lucky day. Savannah ran as fast as she could to her car before her mother could get off the couch. She jumped into the driver’s seat and peeled out of the driveway. As she drove down the road heading to the highway, an uneasy feeling started to come over her. She had never been on her own before. Her parents had always been there whenever she needed them. Not that she couldn’t take care of herself, because she knew she could. But, other than Travis, her parents were the only ones in her life and she dreaded the thought of being alone. But, she also wanted nothing more than to have a place of her own. She desperately needed privacy and that outweighed the fear of living alone. There was no need to live at home anymore. She was an adult and it was time she moved out. She should have gotten her own place years ago.
As she drove across the small rickety bridge heading for the road that would take her towards the lake, her excitement began to build. She would finally be able to come and go as she pleased without someone questioning her every move. That was definitely one thing she was looking forward to.
When she arrived at the house the real estate agent was already parked in the driveway. She sat for a brief moment after she turned the ignition off and admired the beautiful house. The white paint on the outside could use some touching up, but the wooden shutters adorning each of the windows gave a warm touch to the quaint home. Savannah could easily see herself living there happily, especially since it was right near her favorite place. There was even a pier where she could sit and watch the sunset every night.
Field Stripped: 15 Steamy Military Romances Page 9
