“I wish you didn’t have to work on a Sunday.”
Phil turns back to Janie. “Well, this meeting is important, and we aren’t in a position to wait until the work week.”
“If you have a late meeting, what time should I have dinner ready?”
“I might be a little late, but I promise I’ll be home by seven. Don’t worry about dinner. That spread you were putting the finishes touches to this morning looks delicious. With any luck, there’ll be leftovers.”
He walks over and gives Janie another kiss before taking his leave. I can’t help but notice Janie practically glows. She really does have it all, including a husband that comes home to her every single night of the week. I admit, I’m jealous, and I can’t stop my thoughts from drifting back to Kenneth and all he could have provided that Brody can’t.
Marisa
I’m covered in flour when my cell rings. Today I’m trying out a new recipe, and I wanted to start early in case something goes wrong and I have to start over. My husband has a tough life so the least I can do is learn to be an expert cook like Janie and have wonderful meals ready for his return. I wipe my hands on my already flour-streaked jeans and grab the phone. The caller I.D. says it’s Kenneth. I guess I’ll answer it.
“Hello?”
“Hey there, baby.”
I bristle, but also feel the faint flutter of excitement as I hear Kenneth’s rich tone. I try to inject some indignation into my voice. “I thought I asked you not to call me again.”
I hear a deep sigh. I picture him, casually seated or leaning against a wall, his tall, muscular frame encased in a smart, tailored business suit, maybe the jacket off, tie loosened, shirt sleeves rolled up to reveal the muscular forearms with the fine blond hair . . . Stop it, Marisa!
“What do you want?” I snap, more harshly than I intended.
“Don’t be like that. I tried not to call. I really did, but I can’t seem to get you out of my thoughts. I just wanted to hear your voice, that’s all.”
“Well . . . don’t call me baby! It implies something that just isn’t there.”
“You used to like it.”
“That was in the past. It’s over now.”
“I know, and I’ve lived to regret it every single day of my life. Hurting you and losing you were the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made.”
His voice cracks and I close my eyes. Even though he broke my heart, I feel sorry for him. I don’t want to, but I do. But need I remind myself that I’ve recovered and fallen in love again? With Brody, my sweet husband Brody. I stopped holding on to the anger. It only made me bitter. “You already told me that,” I say. “I’ve told you I forgive you but now it’s time to move on.”
“I don’t want to move on. I want to turn back the clock so it never happened.”
“You can’t, and even if you could, I wouldn’t want you to. I’m happy now, Kenneth. Don’t spoil it for me.”
“I wouldn’t be spoiling things for you. I’d be making them so much better. Come to dinner with me.”
“Kenneth, we’ve been over this. I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Both. I’m a happily married woman. We have nothing to say anymore.”
“That would never be true. Do you remember how we used to talk on the phone every night for hours, even though I’d just dropped you home?”
My heart beats fast as memories flood my mind. It was true. He’d call as soon as he got home and we’d talk well into the early hours of the morning, neither of us wanting to hang up. It had been a heady, passionate love affair, and one I thought was forever. “I remember.” My words are barely more than a whisper.
“Please say you’ll come to dinner tonight. I have to see you, even if it’s just once more. We can make this goodbye if we have to, but I need you to look me in the eye and say it in person. Until then, I don’t think I’ll ever believe it or be able to accept it. Give me that much at least.”
“Okay, one last dinner, to say goodbye for good?”
“If that’s what you want, yes.”
Is it truly a betrayal if I have dinner just to say goodbye and close that chapter? I don’t think so. Brody would never approve, so I just won’t tell him. Some things are better left unsaid.
“Just dinner, that’s all,” Kenneth says, interrupting my thoughts on the matter.
“Fine, where and when?”
We’re meeting tomorrow night, at the Chop House again. Okay, I’m excited. I am. But this is for closure and that’s all.
It’s tomorrow afternoon. Brody loved the meal I made yesterday night, but tonight, I won’t be here. I did a bit of cleaning today, but I took the rest of the time to look my absolute best. I’m determined to keep the past in the past, but I want Kenneth’s last vision of me to be perfect. I want to remind him, again, of exactly what he’d lost when he walked away. I can’t help myself. I want more than to hear him say it. I want to see it in his eyes.
I’m in the bedroom, slipping on a pair of high heels to go with the short black dress I’m wearing. Until I lose these few extra pounds, black dresses will be my first choice. I’ve added my most understated, classiest piece of jewelry. Kenneth would not be impressed with most of my other costume jewelry. I choose my most expensive pair of shoes and matching clutch. Kenneth bought them for me, although I doubt he remembers. I’ve decided to put my long hair into a sophisticated up do, exposing my slender neck, one of my best features.
“Hi Honey, are you going out?”
I turn to face Brody. He looks tired, but still devastatingly handsome. I feel a twinge of guilt for what I’m about to do, but I push it aside. Besides, this will be the best thing for both of us. With Kenneth out of my life, I’ll be able to settle back down and stop wishing for things I can never have.
“Sorry, it’s an invitation to an impromptu girl’s night out. Since I’m only just making new friends, I didn’t feel I could refuse, even though it was short notice. You don’t mind do you? There are plenty of leftovers in the fridge.”
Brody wraps his arms around me. “Of course not. It’s great you’ve made friends. Army wives?”
“Yes,” I lie.
“Army wives need to have their own lives and a support group. You make sure you have a good time. You look hot, by the way.” He gives me a wolfish grin. “Maybe I can help you undo all that effort you’ve made when you come home.”
I slap him playfully on the arm, and I giggle. “Don’t put those thoughts into my head now or I’ll never get out.”
“Would that be so bad?” He lifts me and pretends to bite my neck. God, he’s so handsome.
“Put me down! I’m late already!”
Brody reluctantly releases me and steps away. “I’ll hold that thought then. Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.”
Marisa
I step out of the elevator. Kenneth’s arm is around my waist. What the hell are you doing here, Marisa?
Dinner is over. I should turn around, right now, get into my car and go home to my husband. That’s what I should do. But I can’t stop my feet from moving forward.
Kenneth unlocks the door to his apartment and ushers me in. I look around nervously. The loft space is a huge open plan with a polished wooden floor. There are huge windows that allow the city lights to flood in and surround the area.
Kenneth flicks a switch and an array of soft mood lighting bursts into life, revealing the full expanse of the space. It had been divided into sections, a living room and TV area, an office area with the desk facing the windows, the kitchen, and the bedroom. I look at the massive bed. It seems to stare back at me, almost mocking me.
The place screams masculinity, the soft furnishings are black, and the furniture is chrome and glass. Even the kitchen has black marble countertops and the appliances are brushed chrome. It’s beautiful, yet intimidating.
“This is where you live?”
“It’s where I live during the week. I do have an actual house in the suburbs, and that�
��s where I entertain the partners but being on my own, there doesn’t seem to be any point in spending too much time there. It makes more sense to have a handy little crash pad in the city close to the office.”
Little crash pad? If that’s what he considers this place, I can only imagine what his house in the suburbs looks like. Shit! The square footage here is probably more than my whole house put together.
“Take a seat. What can I get for you to drink? I have a bottle of the same champagne we were drinking in the restaurant.”
“Yes, that’s fine, thank you.” I’m already tipsy. If I want to be safe, I’m going to need to leave my car here, get a cab home, and return to my car in the morning. God, if Brody knew where I was right now, he’d be so pissed off.
Here I am, perched on the edge of this fancy leather sofa. Why did I agree to come inside his apartment?
The dinner hadn’t really gone as I’d planned. Instead of telling Kenneth how much I love Brody, I found myself happier than I’ve been in a long time. The food was excellent. The atmosphere, with its dimmed lights and soft romantic music, was perfect. The conversation between Kenneth and I just flowed. It was as if our breakup never happened. I didn’t want the evening to end. So when Kenneth offered to take me to his apartment for a nightcap, I agreed. I didn’t even think about it. Maybe it was the champagne, but I can’t blame it all on the champagne.
Tomorrow, I’m going to have to figure out a way to get my car without Brody coming with me, but I don’t want to think about it right now.
Kenneth slides beside me on the sofa. He has a smile on his face. It’s the sort of smile that lets me know he’s proud of himself for getting me here.
Yeah, he won, at least for now.
He hands me the champagne glass, and I take a sip, more for something to do rather than out of a desire for more alcohol. My head spins a little as the bubbles explode in my mouth. I hurriedly set the glass on the coffee table. Kenneth does the same, turning toward me.
He reaches for a strand of my hair that has fallen loose from my bun and tucks it behind my ear. “You’re so beautiful, Marisa.”
This is too much. I pull my gaze from his and drop it to the floor.
“Look at me.”
He strokes my cheek and then tilts my chin, his gaze even more intense. “I’m still in love with you. I never stopped being in love with you.”
“Kenneth, please don’t.”
“Don’t what? Don’t tell me you don’t know how much I want you, how much I need you?”
He moves closer to me, closing the gap between us, his firm thigh pressing against mine. He kisses me on my lips, and I’m frozen in my spot. Butterflies torment my stomach, but I don’t pull away. Emboldened, Kenneth kisses me again but more firmly this time.
The old passion is back. I can’t help myself. I kiss him back as his arms slide around me, his tongue probing. I put my hands on the back of his neck and run my fingers through his blond hair.
Suddenly, Kenneth is on his feet, and I’m being carried across the room. He lays me on his massive bed, hardly even breaking the kiss. His hands run down my body, over my waist, and then down my stocking-clad thigh. I moan against his lips as heat flares between my legs. His scent, his taste, his touch, it all awakens old memories and forgotten and forbidden desires.
Kenneth pulls back, his hand still stroking as he admires me “If you want me to stop, just tell me.”
I don’t say a word.
Kenneth pulls me to my feet and steps behind me. He unzips my dress, pushing it off my shoulders so that if falls to my feet, revealing the black lacy underwear I’m wearing. He pulls me close against him. He kisses my neck. His hardness throbs against my butt. He pulls the pins from my hair, setting it free and moves around to face me. His hands never leave my body. He moves in for another kiss as his hand cups one of my breasts. His thumb strokes my erect nipple through the flimsy fabric. I gasp in pleasure; it feels so good.
“I want you so much, Marisa. Feel how much.”
He takes my hand and places it on his penis, sliding it up and down over the throbbing hardness. In truth, I’ve always loved how hard he got for me. It always excited me, and now it does again.
I can’t help myself. I’m desperate, anxiously pulling at his belt to release him. He helps and soon he’s naked before me, his muscled body unashamedly on display, his penis as large and stiff as I remember.
I reach for him, pulling him onto the bed on top of me. Suddenly, my bra is gone, and his hot mouth is on my breasts, teasing, licking, and sucking each nipple in turn. I grab his penis. It feels so incredibly hard.
My legs spread in excitement. He slides a hand between my thighs, stroking my panties. I’m so wet.
I reach down, struggling to push my panties off my hips. He removes them for me, returning his fingers to my pussy. He strokes my nub. Heat rises inside of me while he increases his stroking. God, I want him so bad.
“I want you inside me!” I scream.
He doesn’t ignore me. Suddenly he’s inside me, filling me completely, moving back and forth. My juices are slick and glistening as I take all of him in. My hands clutch at his back, and my legs wrap around his waist, clinging to him, pulling him in closer and wanting every inch of him. My hips undulated, matching his every thrust, driving both of us wild.
I’m close, and he knows it. He thrusts even harder. My body stiffens and my back arches. He slides a hand underneath me, pressing me close, grinding against my nub.
“Oh my God, Kenneth!” I’m crashing and flooding around him. He’s relentless. My orgasm lasts a lifetime as wave after wave hit until I finally collapse back on the bed, my body shaking and panting for breath. My muscles clench and loosen around him. He slowly and gently moves again, still inside me and still rock hard. I can tell this is just the beginning.
Marisa
I can’t seem to detach myself from Kenneth. Every encounter feels like a new experience, and I know I’m in over my head, but letting go now seems out of the question. Kenneth feels real. He feels “here”, but Brody seems distant in more ways than one. I can’t exactly put my finger on it, but I know the feelings I thought I let go of after Kenneth left me all those years ago never truly disappeared. I don’t know what to do with myself but accept it. So, here I am, willing and ready for another opportunity to see him.
Remembering that first evening at his apartment, and everything that came afterward in the month that followed, is the reason I can’t seem to stop smiling today. It’s Tuesday, and we’re going to have dinner again tonight. We’ve been texting since I woke up, just little flirtatious reminders about the night we are going to have. I’m like a giggling school girl when I watch my cellphone light up, alerting me of his replies, and as I walk into the kitchen, I read them over before quickly texting one back.
After placing the phone on the counter, I open the refrigerator and retrieve a can of soda. When I see my phone light up again, I can’t help but scoff at how fast Kenneth’s messages are. “That was quick,” I text. I know this statement is something I’d never be capable of saying whenever we meet, because Kenneth is always able to hold out. The thought makes me laugh, and I send Kenneth another reply.
I don’t realize Brody has entered the area until I hear, “Who’s that?” Sometimes he comes home for lunch and then returns to work.
My smile almost disappears, but before it can turn into a disappointing frown, I force it back in place. I want to tell him about what I’ve been doing. I want to explain why Kenneth seems like a better match for me, but I keep it on the tip of my tongue. Instead, I say, “Just one of my girlfriends.” It’s an easy lie, one Brody always accepts. I’m a pro these days, and although I feel guilty about having such a horrible character trait, I can’t stop the words before they escape my lips. Sometimes I lie so well, I start believing myself.
It scares me.
“Home to grab some lunch?” I ask.
“Yes,” he replies. The chaste kiss he places on my
cheek tells me he’s still oblivious to my affair, and Kenneth’s and my secret is temporarily safe. I say ‘temporarily’ because we were almost caught last week, right after I sent Brody a text meant for Kenneth. This week, we are cautious, sort of...
“You’ve been seeing your girlfriends a lot lately,” Brody says. It’s an offhanded comment, one I know isn’t meant to make me feel guilty, but I do.
I give the remark an absent shrug. “Well, there’s not much to do around here.” My statement is just like Brody’s, it’s meant to be the truth, but hold an underlining, indifferent bite. Besides, Kenneth, I muse as an afterthought. My eyes grow wide at my words, and I gulp, placing my palms on the counter.
“I leave soon,” Brody tells me. He doesn’t need to remind me, I know this. I still can’t decide whether I should be upset or pleased about his absence. If he leaves, I’ll get unlimited time with Kenneth, but it also means he’ll be gone for a year and I’m not ready for that.
It’s too much to think about, and I close my eyes, taking in my situation: I love my husband, but I’m frustrated and miserable. If you love him so much, why are you having an affair with your ex-boyfriend?
With a sigh, I nod and open my eyes. As I reach for Brody’s hand, my eyes sting. “I know.” Our fingers clasp, and I give his palm a reassuring squeeze. “I just need a distraction from knowing that sometimes . . . “ It isn’t a lie, but it’s half true. Thinking of him leaving is just as heartbreaking as pressing my sinful lips against his and pretending as if I’m a faithful wife. I’m not. I’m anything but that, really.
I can’t say I’m not somewhat proud of having kept this secret for so long, because for the first time, I feel like I have something that’s actually mine and not Brody’s. Best of all, it doesn’t have to be bought, although I’m sure Kenneth would buy me whatever I ask for.
“That’s a beautiful bracelet,” Brody says to me as we part. He lifts my right hand to get a better view of it. “Sure looks expensive . . .”
Field Stripped: 15 Steamy Military Romances Page 18
