by Amy Faye
"Who are you?"
"I'm Colin," he said. He smiled half-heartedly. "You must be Dana."
"Oh. You're the room-mate."
"I don't think we've met."
"No, we haven't. I'm Dana. Nice to meet you."
"Evan's told me a lot about you," he said. "You sound very nice."
"Good of you to say."
"Of course."
"I should probably get going. It was nice meeting you."
"You're very pretty, you know. I'm surprised. Evan doesn't usually go for your type, but you're just…" he made a face. "Right up my alley."
"That's… nice."
"You think so?"
"I'm not interested," Dana said. She pushed herself up from the sofa. She just had to slip her shoes on, slip her coat on, and out the door. It sounded so much simpler in her head, when there wasn't a guy standing in front of her who could stop her if he wanted to. It probably wouldn't even be hard, and the worst part was that he probably knew it.
"Oh, come on. I'm not saying you have to, you know, do a whole lot."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm just asking if you'll go out for a drink. I'll drop you at your place afterward."
"I don't think that sounds like a very good idea, Colin."
"Is it, what? My looks? I'm not good looking enough? Need to spend more time in the gym?"
"No." She was getting enough bad vibes that she was ready to forget the jacket and the shoes, and call someone. Evan would be back eventually, and she could pick her stuff up.
"What, then?"
"I'm with Evan."
"What?"
"I like him. I don't want to screw this up."
Colin blinked. He looked at her. His lips pursed. And then they pinched together like a duck's bill. And then he closed his eyes as his mouth spread wide. He could hardly contain his amusement, though Dana couldn't understand what was supposed to be so funny.
"Screw what up?"
"Whatever this is," Dana said.
The words came out of her mouth sounding a little strange. She wasn't sure what she was feeling about Evan. She wouldn't have called it love, though. Not if you'd paid her to say it. And yet, now, in the moment… the words almost came easily. Her head felt like it was spinning.
"The relationship you two have?"
He laughed. He fell backwards onto the sofa, the one where she'd been laying just a minute ago. He stretched out and grabbed his stomach and laughed.
"What's so funny?"
"Oh my God!" He slapped his leg. "Evan, he's good, I'll give him that. Oh my God!"
Dana pulled a shoe on. She wasn't going to give him more time than necessary, that much she was sure of. His behavior was erratic. Maybe he was drunk, or something. Maybe he was high. Maybe he was laughing at some joke that she couldn't understand, and if she gave it enough time, then she'd be able to figure it out. But she wasn't sure what that joke was.
"You want to know the funniest part?"
Dana looked up. Colin rubbed at his eyes. Tears came away from them. He threatened to burst into laughter again at a second's notice. She wasn't sure she did want to know, the way that he looked at her. The way that he hinted at something that she wasn't sure she wanted to be a part of.
"What's that?"
"The funniest part–I mean it, the funniest part–is that you actually believe this stuff."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dana bit off the part where she informed him that he was acting like a crazy person. It was something she'd gotten good at, working at a library. She dealt with people who had something going on in their head every day, so it was a skill she got to practice.
"He's using you, you know that, right?"
"I don't think there's anything a guy like that has to use me for," Dana said. "If he wanted to get laid, I'm pretty sure he could manage it."
"Manage it? Sure. I know better than most, let me tell you."
"Must be hard," she suggested. Whatever he wanted to hear, she was ready to say it. Just as long as it got her out of that room.
"Apparently not. You know why he came after you, right?"
"No," Dana said. It was something that had bothered her.
Oh, he said a lot of stuff about how he couldn't stop thinking about her. That was stuff that he said to everyone. She couldn't prove it, of course. But she wasn't stupid. She knew. "Are you going to tell me?"
"Because I told him to," Colin said.
"What, like... some kind of weird pity-fuck thing?"
"Pity? No way. You were a challenge, babe. I thought you'd put up a real fight. There aren't many women who can ignore him the way you did that first night. I made a big bet with him. Oh, it was glorious. I never figured that he'd break you down so easy. It was amazing."
Dana felt something rise in her throat. But she didn't throw up. Because in spite of herself, she was tougher than that. But the dream, such as it was, was over. At least there was that.
Fourteen
"Don't lie to me, you little–"
Dana wasn't sure what happened to her, but she wasn't feeling anything any more. If he attacked her, it wasn't going to be much of a fight. But she was ready to kill, if she had to. She was ready to die. Her stomach felt like it was doing flips fast enough to power an average-sized home.
"I'm not lying, Dana. I think you know that."
"Frankly I don't believe a thing you say, you creep."
"Look, I'm not saying that you're going to like me. I get that."
"You're god damned right I'm not going to like you."
"But let me ask you this. How are you feeling right now?"
"Go fuck yourself," she growled.
It didn't make her feel better, but she couldn't exactly stop herself, either. So she kept getting angrier and tried to protect herself. It didn't work, regardless of what she might have wanted.
"You know what I think you're feeling right now?"
"What? You're so fucking smart, why don't you tell me?"
"I think you're feeling hurt."
Something inside her popped. "Yeah," she said, still trying to hold together her frustration. She wasn't going to manage it, of course, and she knew it. But there wasn't any other option available to her. "Yeah, I'd say I'm feeling hurt. Idiot."
"So what do you want to do about it?"
"Do about it? I'm going to go home and get on with my life. Unless you were thinking that you could talk me into shooting him, or burning the apartment building down, I'm not seeing where you're going with this."
"He hurt you, right?"
"Yeah, I'd say that. What are you, some kind of fucking psychic?"
"So what do you want to do about it?"
"I told you. There's nothing to do about it."
"That's where you're wrong," Colin said. He let the words hang in the air, as if she was going to figure it out at some point, and he was just waiting for that to happen. It didn't.
"Okay, genius. Why don't you tell me what I'm going to do to get back at him?"
"You hurt him back."
"How am I going to do that? I'm not committing some crime over an asshole. I'm not that crazy, regardless of what you apparently think of me."
"Who needs to commit a crime? I'm not talking about crimes."
"Fine. What's your big plan then?"
"You hurt him back. Hit him where it hurts."
"Where's that? Kick him in the balls?"
Colin smiled. "You're closer than you think, actually. He's a guy who's got two things going for him."
"What's that?"
"His future, and his present. Now, if you want to get at his future, maybe in ten years you can come out and start announcing that he sexually harassed you when he's making a run for Senate. Maybe it works."
"That's awfully long-term planning. Why not do that right now, if I'm going to do it?"
"The claim probably won't stand up to intense scrutiny," Colin suggested.
"And it's a scummy thing to do. I'm not going to cut
off my nose to spite my face. I'm not a complete fucking idiot."
"No, I didn't think so," Colin said. He nodded thoughtfully to himself. "But I'm not thinking about hitting him in his political career."
"Then get to your point."
"The other thing he's got going for him is precisely why he won our bet, Dana. He thinks he's irresistible to women, and apparently, he's just about right."
She was starting to see the point he was making, but it was hidden from her in a fog of anger and misery. "Just say what you're thinking. God damn!"
"You could resist him. Show him that you're no more affected by him than you are by, I don't know, a stiff drink."
"And how do you suppose I do that?"
"I'm saying you move on."
"And what? Text him like some kind of psycho to tell him all about it? Yeah, buddy, you're really thinking. He'll definitely think I'm over him if I'm texting him all the time to tell him how over him I am."
"You let him find out on his own."
"And precisely how am I going to do that? It's not like he's closely tied up in my life. Think."
"You could move on to someone else."
"And I'm guessing you have someone in mind?"
"It would have to be someone who would give you an excuse to run into him again."
"And I'm guessing you're going to volunteer?" Dana still felt numb with anger. She wanted to break something. And she could feel something in her gut, something telling her that whether she liked it or not, there was better-than-even odds that she was going to.
"I'm not asking you to seriously date me. What kind of creep would I even be? No, I'm just saying. If you want to hurt lover-boy, you make him think that we're dating. We have a few little good times, and maybe, you know…"
"Yeah, I wouldn't figure on it."
"The only thing is that I'm going to need to be able to sell it. In conversation, you know?"
"Yeah, whatever." Dana's teeth ground together. "Fine. We'll do whatever. I'm not sleeping with you, but let's start now. You can give me a ride home."
He smiled. Apparently, at least for a start, that was good enough for him. He said as much, stood up, and fished keys out of his pocket. "You want to grab something to eat on the way?"
"I'm not that hungry."
"I'm buying," Colin countered.
"Do what you want," Dana answered. Her belly was full of anger. But that didn't mean that she couldn't eat, if money weren't any object.
Fifteen
The trip was a long one, and it was exactly as bad as he'd worried it would be. The only thing that made him feel any better about it was knowing that he'd go home eventually. The fact that it answered some questions about Jesse's personal life didn't help as much as he might have liked it to. There's something about being afraid of being shot the entire time that makes it hard to really appreciate the value of little things like that.
Jesse let out a long, low breath, closed his eyes, and kept them closed. Evan watched him with a vague, distant feeling. They still had at least five more hours together on the airplane, and as much as Evan didn't hate his friend, together was the last place he wanted to be right now. He wanted to be alone.
No, that wasn't even true. He didn't want to be alone, he wanted to be with Dana. Which was the revelation of a lifetime, because to the Evan that Evan thought he knew, that was impossible. He didn't get attached. He could have a good time. Lately, he'd proven to himself that he could have a better time than even he knew.
But the idea that he'd be more comfortable with a woman than without one? It was absurd. It was impossible. And it was precisely that situation in which he'd found himself, to his very great surprise. Instead of figuring out what that meant, he thought about anything else.
He thought about meeting Jesse's mother. He thought about the fact that he'd been wrong his entire life about the guy. He'd always been a big mystery. How did he get into the school? What were his grades like? Who were his parents?
His parents weren't poor, though. That had been the initial assumption. He didn't talk about his family because they were low on the totem pole. Maybe the numbers in their bank account weren't as high as Colin's dad, but the ability to bring their accumulated wealth to bear on a situation couldn't be compared.
So in the end, for the eldest son of a gang family, the military is a natural choice of career. And when you're out, being a tough guy is just natural. Right up until it's time to take over, you have to be proving that you're too tough to be messed with, Evan guessed.
Then he closed his eyes, too, and tried to think happy thoughts. Thoughts about going home, and about the life he'd have there. It was, after all, only a few more months to the holiday break. Should he take Dana on vacation? He smiled. And then he fell asleep, and had pleasant dreams. Dreams that he, naturally, hoped were going to come to fruition.
But that was only because he didn't know that by then, every single one of them had been entirely derailed already. Days ago. And he couldn't have known, because he'd left his phone behind in the states.
Evan didn't waste time finding out, though. He went straight home. There had been talk of a payoff. He wasn't above taking it. If anything, he was below being paid. He was too tired, too frustrated, too ready to give up. If they'd made it sound like it was in doubt, Evan wasn't sure that he wouldn't have begged.
Which was when he found the note. He read it four times. Then he dropped it on the counter. His muscles bunched up, preparing to throw his fist hurtling through a cabinet door. His arm barely moved. He wanted to do it, but it was nothing. Just meaningless destruction.
As much as he hated himself for putting Dana into a position where leaving was the answer, and as much as he hated that she'd found out when he wasn't even there to try to smooth things over, it didn't matter. It was done now. The least he could do now was protect his security deposit.
He laid down. The plane ride was exhausting. But he'd slept the whole way, so that seemed out of the question. So instead, he stared up at the ceiling, and counted seconds. He made it ten minutes before he stopped feeling sorry for himself.
The anger flared back up. There were only two people in the world who knew about the bet. Two. One of them was lying in his bed feeling sorry for himself. Evan guessed that whatever the other was doing, it was less pathetic.
He ground his teeth together. When Evan had left a week ago, Colin had lived on his fucking couch. Which meant that wherever he was, he was probably coming back. Unless he'd found himself a new place.
Evan grabbed his phone and flipped through the missed texts. There were nearly two-dozen of them, several from Dana. He couldn't bring himself to ignore them. They read out exactly like he'd expected them to. A woman full of hurt and anger. And they'd been sent, he noticed, less than two hours after he'd walked out of the room. His anger only grew.
Colin sent a message. He'd gotten a new place. So long, thanks for letting me crash. And so on. Evan's jaw tightened. There was going to be trouble, now. He knew it, in the way that people know whether or not it's raining. And much the same way, there was little that Evan could do to stop it. He wasn't even planning to try.
The drive to the new place was short. He'd passed by the complex a hundred times. A thousand. Evan weighed his options, thinking about how he was going to get inside. He wanted to get in without alerting Colin if possible. Make it as immediate and personal as it had to be.
Evan waited five minutes for someone to come and get the door open themselves. He didn't see anyone. He didn't get any impression that someone was about to open it at any moment. As far as he could tell, nobody intended to ever use the building except for Colin.
So he closed his eyes, sucked in a breath, and waited for the frustration to pass. His teeth ground together. He'd have to press the button.
But as it turned out, he didn't need to worry. The door wasn't latched properly. He pulled in a vain attempt to bypass their security, and it came open with the greatest of ease. He looked at
the door and cursed it for every moment he'd wasted trying to figure out how to get through an unlocked door, and then he stepped inside and got ready for the fight that was about to come.
He didn't plan on the fight coming to blows. He planned on screaming and maybe wrecking a coffee table. But if it came to fists, then he was more than ready.
Sixteen
Evan knocked at the door, and then waited.
"Hey," Colin's voice said from the other side. "You're back."
"I don't want to cause more trouble than it's worth to you, Colin," Evan said back. "So you should just open the door."
"You seem angry."
"Astute observation."
The door opened. Colin stood there in a jacket and a shirt that fit. It was better than he'd dressed in three months of living on Evan's couch.
"I can explain."
"That's rich. Go on. I'd love to hear this."
"You needed to understand, okay?"
"Understand what?"
Evan stepped through the door. His chest almost touched Colin's. His fists tightened. He looked at the room.
It was a nice place. He didn't know what the rent was like here, but it was at least as nice as the place that Evan was staying. Even the furniture was nicer. That had something to do with the well of funds that Colin drew from, Evan knew.
Then he saw her. His eyes fixed on Dana. She sat on the couch, drank from a glass of water, and looked at him.
"Dana."
"How did your thing go?"
"It went, you know… fine."
"Did you meet any girls?"
She threw the glass. She missed him with the glass. It broke on the wall a foot to the side of his head. The water, on the other hand, was a little more creative, and found its way into his face. He felt someone small push past him. He thought about stopping her. But then he thought that he had more to do here, and there was no time to try to accomplish two things at once. He was a man with a single goal, in that moment, and as long as he worked towards it, he might even be able to accomplish one of them.
He chose the wrong one. He knew it the moment that she disappeared around the steps. But he didn't let that stop him.
